Love Lost, Love Found

by Judy Kentrus

  The first two words out of her mouth were, “I’m sorry. I was just about to call you and apologize for leaving that nasty message.”

  “You beat me to it, because that’s what I was going to say. I’m sorry for not letting you know sooner that I had to leave. I got the call at five thirty and was half asleep driving to the airport.”

  “That insensitive message reflected my initial reaction when I learned you were gone. Again, I’m sorry.”

  “I figured we’d gotten our signals crossed. I hated to leave you, love.”

  “Two questions: How is your father, but more important, when are you coming back to me?”

  “Doing well. He had all the symptoms of a heart attack, but it was a very bad case of indigestion. He’s being released the day after tomorrow. Friday I’ll be on my way back to you. I so need to hold and kiss you right now.”

  “I’d like that, too. I’ll expect to collect when you get here.”

  “What did you do this evening?”

  “I met the most wonderful gentleman. We ate chocolate-chip-mint ice cream at Ms. Icey’s ice cream parlor.”

  “You spent the evening with another man?”

  “Take a step back and calm down. He’s ninety-five, had two wives and gave me his version of what true love is all about.”

  “Okay, my heart rate is returning to normal. Ninety-five is good. So what is he, impersonating Cupid?”

  “No, silly. I’ll tell you everything when you get back. If we follow his philosophy, we’ve got it made.”

  “So we’re going to follow a formula? It sounds like you’ve been brainwashed.”

  “It’s a good brainwashing.”

  “As long as the ending formula points to us having a future together, I’ll do whatever you say.”

  “This has to be a joint effort.” Nancy yawned and wasn’t able to put a hand over her mouth fast enough. “Sorry, it’s been a long day, and neither of us got much sleep last evening.”

  “The next time we don’t get much sleep is because we’re in bed together having a hot marathon of making love.”

  “You’ll get no arguments from me. One last question before we say good night. How good is your early morning stamina?”

  “You will find out, firsthand, in two days. I’ll call you tomorrow or send texts to keep you updated. Night, my love.”

  “Night,” she said with a breathless sigh.

  Early Friday evening, Nancy stood next to the small counter in the kitchen and checked off the items on her list. Red wine chilling, hors d’oeuvres finished, chicken parmesan ready to bake, antipasto made, pasta measured and ready to be boiled. Tiramisu in refrigerator and gelato in freezer. Take shower, apply moisturizer all over, leave hair down, minimum of makeup because he’ll kiss it off anyway, underwear optional and don’t pass out.

  The past two days she’d suffered the nervousness of a bride, wanting, no, needing their reunion to be perfect. He’d sent her silly and mushy texts during the day, always ending with XOXO. When she asked about his father, his responses were brief and the tone was dark. She sensed his relationship with Lloyd Harrigan was somewhat strained.

  She’d met the man once during the two years she’d lived with Sean. His father had had to be in New York for a meeting with the mayor, but wanted to meet Sean for dinner. He’d insisted she come along. The senator had talked down to her and not just with his tone of voice. More like lord and master, I’m above and better than you. She’d totally disliked the blustery blowhard and felt sorry Sean had to call the man his father.

  A week after their dinner, the senator had sent her a letter advising that she’d better enjoy being banged by his son, but that was all it would ever be. She was a temporary lay, not daughter-in-law material. His son was going places, and there wouldn’t be any room in his life for a small-town nobody. She’d been hurt, but her anger had immediately kicked in. She’d torn the nasty message into tiny pieces and flushed them down the toilet. Sean never knew about the letter.

  She re-read the last item she’d checked off. Don’t pass out. Easier said than done. Sean had sent a text saying he would here in twenty minutes. Her eyes fell on the third finger of her left hand. It was naked but for a ring tan. The guilt she’d been expecting when she removed the plain gold ring wasn’t there. It was time to move on and take back what she’d lost.

  She recalled what George had said the other day. His first wife had loved him, despite the love he kept in his heart for Dottie. Nelson had given her unconditional love, accepting how much she’d loved Sean. In her heart, she knew Nelson would be happy that she was reuniting with the love of her life.

  She’d been waiting twenty-four years for this moment and hoped to God Sean loved her as deeply as she loved him.

  He was coming home, to her.

  “Does everyone escape the north in winter and hibernate in Florida?” Sean muttered in frustration, waiting for the light to change. Despite being surrounded by three lanes of traffic, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d been this happy.

  He was going home to the only woman he’d ever loved.

  In between visiting his father, he’d taken advantage of being able to work from home. The special project he was working on required his full attention. His two partners thought he’d been home to stay, but they’d been shocked when he’d informed them he needed to take care of personal, unfinished business and would be back to work in another week.

  If things worked out as he hoped, he’d be making love with Nancy tonight and many nights thereafter. He hoped to God she loved him as deeply as he loved her.

  This was their time.

  The sun had almost set when he pulled into the resort parking lot and parked his car. His forehead wasn’t the only thing sweating as he hurried down the winding path between villas. He stopped before approaching her front door and wiped his sweaty palm on his black jeans.

  Flowers! He should have brought her flowers. He twisted around and took in the abundance of colorful blooms on the surrounding bushes. A beautiful red mimosa flower called out his name, and he carefully broke it off at the stem. He suddenly remembered what he’d purchased in a gift shop while waiting for his plane and pulled out a roll of butter rum Life Savers. She’d always loved the simple things.

  With the flower clutched in his right hand and the roll of Life Savers in the other, he breathed deeply, knocked on her front door and waited.

  She almost jumped out of her skin at the three rapid knocks. “He’s here!”

  She’d purposely left the door unlocked, needing to do this right. She fluffed the hair away from her shoulders, adjusted the off-the-shoulder neckline of her white eyelet blouse and kicked off her sandals.

  “Door’s open,” she called. It felt like hours, but it was only seconds before he stepped inside, closed the front door, but stood firmly in place. He looked as nervous as she felt, clutching the stem of a beautiful flower and what looked like a roll of Life Savers in the other. He propped his sunglasses on his head and rolled up the sleeves of his long-sleeved baby-blue shirt.

  “I didn’t take the time to buy you flowers or candy, but I picked up this roll of butter rum Life Savers at the airport because I remembered that was your favorite flavor.”

  “I love it. Thank you. But we really need to do this right. I’m ten pounds heavier, so brace yourself.”

  Nancy ran across the living room, hoping she wouldn’t slip on the tile floor, and jumped into his arms like she had when he’d entered their apartment years ago.

  “Welcome home, love,” she murmured and took his mouth before he could utter a word. His moan of acceptance filled her ears at the same time his arms bound tightly around her. When she wrapped her legs around his waist, her arms banded possessively around his neck.

  The waiting was finally over, and she opened her heart and mouth to let him in. No, she’d never gotten over him, but his taste was natural, exciting. His tongue danced the familiar dance, but the rhythm was more urgent. She lifted her mout
h slightly to catch her breath, but he initiated their second kiss and took it deeper. He turned their clinging bodies around, slow-dancing to the tune that filled their heads.

  His hands cupped her bottom, and her arms tightened when he moved slowly toward the couch. In a natural move, she unwrapped her legs from around his waist when he laid her on the cushions. Her arms slowly released his neck, ending their welcome-home kisses.

  She shifted her hips to make room on the cushion for him to sit down. He used a gentle hand to brush the hair off her shoulder and placed a soft-hearted kiss at the curve of her neck. His tenderness caused tears of happiness to escape the corners of her eyes.

  “The minutes I’ve been away from you have been torture, and that includes the years we’ve been apart. I was hoping you would greet me like that.” He reached into his back pocket for his handkerchief to wipe the wetness from her temples.

  “I hope they’re happy tears.”

  “They are, but we’re being so formal. The old Sean would have had me naked and would be buried deep inside me seven minutes from the time he walked through the door.”

  She was confused when he stood up and moved away from the couch. She sat up and swung her legs off the couch. “Was it something I said, or maybe I’ve got my signals crossed?” Maybe she shouldn’t have worn flirty shorts and a frilly top. “I’ll admit my body has changed, but I’m not that much out of shape.”

  “Is that what you think?” he said and turned on her. “You’re more beautiful than ever. I’m so ready to jump you, but I’m using a great deal of self-control because I want you too much. I’ve dreamed of this moment for years, but I’m scared.”

  “Of what? Do you need Viagra or something? It doesn’t matter. Guys younger than you need a boost.”

  “Good Lord, no.” He stood in front of her and placed her hand on his raging hardness. “That’s proof positive that there isn’t anything wrong.”

  Steel and heat penetrated the material and met with her cool flesh. No, nothing wrong with him, she silently agreed and let her hand linger for a few more moments. She was disappointed and further confused when he drew her hand away and placed a tender kiss in the center of her palm.

  Nancy pushed herself up from the couch. “If you don’t need a pill, and I still appeal to you, why are you scared? Are you afraid you won’t satisfy me? That was never a problem.”

  “Absolutely not!” He ran a hand through his hair in frustration. “I’m afraid to screw this up. It’s not just making love, it’s renewing everything we had together, love, trust. I forgot to let you know I was leaving, and you thought I’d walked away again. You, we, mean everything to me.”

  Her heart ached at the sight of the glassy film that covered his eyes. This was a side of Sean she’d never seen, unsure, afraid. He’d always been her superhero, the one to take charge and hold her hand, offer words of encouragement. How things had changed. Now she was the confident, balls-to-the-wall kind of person. Standing before her was a man filled with remorse and…vulnerability. He’d just laid himself wide open to suffer the heartache she’d suffered when he’d walked away, without realizing he’d put their future in her hands. So why wasn’t she doing a happy dance, feeling the power and gloating inside? There were no guarantees that they would make it this time, and she remembered something George had said. Listen to your heart, but remember and learn from the mistakes you two made in the past. It’s a leap of faith, well worth the risk.

  She took his hands, drew him to the couch. “Sit, we need to talk.” When he was comfortable, she straddled his lap. It was impossible to ignore the stiff ridge that found a warm welcome in her crotch.

  “Are you trying to torture me?” he asked when she shifted her hips slightly from side to side.

  “No, just keeping the home fires burning while we talk about serious stuff.” She threaded their fingers together and held on tight. “Are you aware you just laid yourself wide open and put your heart on the line?”

  “I told you how important you are to me. Winning you back will make my life complete.”

  “If I was a bitch, I’d get my revenge for when you broke my heart and tell you to get out of my life and never come back.” When his cheeks paled, she realized she’d gone too far. She leaned into him and brushed his lips with a soft, lingering kiss. The bump beneath her swelled.

  “Relax, my love. I can be a bitch at times, but not in this case, not with you. George, my ninety-five-year-old friend, told me a great deal about love and helped me to understand what I was feeling. He said we should listen to our hearts, but learn from the mistakes we made in the past. It’s a leap of faith, well worth the risk.”

  Nancy shook her head. “You can’t place the future of our relationship in my hands. It’s going to take both of us to make this work. So what do you say? Want to take a leap of faith with me and find out if our love is worth the risk?”

  Sean was in a personal hell, knowing how important she was to him and how much he wanted her back. Right now, he hated himself, and his father, for what he was facing, but he needed Nancy like he needed air to breathe. In the end, she’d need to keep her faith in him to do what was right, because he was going to risk everything he’d worked for to win her love.

  “I don’t think the question was that hard,” she said.

  He took her face in his hands and stared into eyes full of hope and wonder. “If taking a leap of faith meant jumping off a skyscraper, I wouldn’t hesitate for a second as long as I spent the rest of my life with you.”

  “That’s really reaching into the far future.”

  “Nancy Jean, you are my past and my future.” He placed the flat of her hand to the center of his chest. “I swear with every beat of my heart that I’ll never leave you again. First, I want a promise from you. No matter how things appear, I need you to remember that I’ll never do anything to intentionally hurt you.”

  “Now you’re making me worried. Have you done something dishonest?”

  “Absolutely not, but when it comes to my father, don’t blink.”

  “He is the last person I want to think about at the moment.”

  “Just what I want to hear.” He grinned, letting his body enjoy the comfortable nesting place pressed against the fire burning in his groin. “You mentioned that the old Sean would have you naked and be buried inside you within seven minutes of when he walked in the door.” He raised his hips to get his point across. “How about a little less talk and a lot more action?”

  “Oh, God, yes! Time starts right now!”

  Despite the air-conditioned bedroom, sweat blanketed their naked bodies. Sean rolled off the hot body that had given him the greatest pleasure he’d had in twenty-four years. Despite lying side-by-side and having made love to Nancy Jean three times in the past hour, he needed to touch her and pillowed her breast in the palm of his hand. The rouge-colored tip was still hard.

  “I think we’ve set a new record,” he managed with an almost breathless sigh.

  Nancy pushed the damp hair off her forehead, shifted closer and urged her breast deeper into his hand. “You are even better than you were at twenty-five, and there is nothing wrong with your stamina.”

  “We have a lot of years to make up for.”

  “At this rate, we’ll kill each other.”

  “Yeah, but what a way to go.” He chuckled and replaced his massaging fingertip with his lips. “You have no right to taste this good.”

  “Sean, I have to ask you something.”

  He was too absorbed in rolling the tip of her breast with this tongue, but the serious tone in her voice put him on alert. He paused momentarily to confess, “Yes, I’ve slept with other women on occasion.”

  “Thank you for telling me, but that’s not what I was going to ask. When you make love to me, do you see that twenty-five-year-old innocent or the forty-nine-year-old woman?”

  It was obvious something was bothering her. He turned on his side and slipped his arm around her shoulder so her head could rest
on his chest. “Why are you so hung up on the other you?”

  “I’m not. Not really.”

  “You are, and to answer your question, I loved that other girl, and when we made love, she shot me to the moon and back. But she was a girl, and you are a woman. No, I didn’t think or imagine you as her, because I see you as you are right now, my beautiful love. When we get old—I mean really old—I will see you, the woman who gave me unconditional love and happiness.”

  “Those are wooing words, Sean Patrick.”

  “That’s what I plan to do, with fringe benefits.” He turned her to face him, lifted her leg over his hip and slipped inside. “Let’s try for number four.”

  Chapter 8

  Nancy walked out of the bedroom, following the trail of clothes they’d left in their haste to get each other naked. They’d behaved like teenagers whose hormone levels reached epic heights and had barely made it to the bedroom to finish what they’d started on the couch. The slight ache between her legs and the sensitive tips of her breasts were reminders that she hadn’t made love like that in…she didn’t know when. He’d been good way back when, but his lovemaking had an edge now that heightened their mutual pleasure.

  He’d started to use protection, but she’d taken the foil packet out of his hand and said there was no need. She’d wanted to feel all of him, skin to skin. He hadn’t rushed his entry, but appeared to savor the familiar scope of her body that gripped him tightly and welcomed him home. She, too, had luxuriated in the heighted senses that had been dormant for a very long time. The beauty of their joining peak brought tears to her eyes.

  His blue shirt was on the floor in front of the couch. She picked it up and brushed the silky-soft blend against her heated cheek and breathed in the musky notes of his cologne, the same mossy scent she’d breathed on his skin. Her head was spinning from great sex and happiness. She slipped the shirt over her naked body and secured the front with two buttons. The sleeves were too long, and she rolled them up to her elbows. Setting on the end table was her flower and roll of Life Savers. The gifts were simple, but reflected traits of the old Sean that had helped him evolve into the man he was now.