Seriously Messed Up: A Laugh Out Loud Romantic Comedy

by Luke Young

Brian and Jillian shared an odd look.

  Jillian said, “Guys, I need a minute. Something’s wrong with my shoe.”

  As Jillian headed toward the bench, Victoria walked to Jim and got close. She whispered to him, “What’s wrong? You were playing so well.”

  “I, uh…”

  “Look, I really want to beat these guys. I kinda stink. I’ll just get out of the way, and you do most of the work.”

  He gave her a hesitant look. “Could you maybe not bend over like that… so much?”

  “Why?”

  “Well, it’s very distracting.” Victoria’s face lit up as he added, “Look, you are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, and I’m about to have a heart attack over here if you don’t stop, uh—”

  “Do you think you can concentrate if I stop bending over?”

  “I think so.”

  Looking Jim in the eye, she moved real close as she whispered, “I think you need a goal. Do you need a goal?”

  “Like what?”

  “You see these breasts?”

  He swallowed hard. “Uh, yeah. See, this is what I’m talking about. This isn’t help—”

  “Just let me finish. These breasts are real, and they’re incredible. I have the tits of a twenty-year-old. They’re a fucking freak of nature. I take this bra off, and they stay up like… like bartenders should still be carding me.”

  She looked at him waiting for some acknowledgement. After an awkward moment and her change in facial expression to anger, he replied, “I believe you. I really do!”

  “You beat these guys, and you can see them.”

  “Okay, that uh, sounds like—”

  Grabbing the collar of her shirt, she pulled it away from her body so he could see all of her cleavage. He glanced in and exhaled. “Wow.”

  “I think the secret is I eat a lot of whole-fat dairy… you know, milk, cheese—oh and I absolutely love ice cream. Then I kill myself in the gym to burn off the calories, which seem to only go to my breasts.”

  With his eyes still locked on her gorgeous cleavage, all he could manage to say was, “Huh.”

  Narrowing her eyes, she whispered, “Now, you destroy them—I mean, they don’t win another game—and you can do to…” she pointed at the twin perfect peaks, “…them whatever you want, for as long as you want. We win four more games, we win this set, and we can end this crap, get off this hot court, and do something fun—much more fun.”

  He swallowed hard and nodded his head rapidly like an idiot.

  Smiling, she asked, “How’s that for a goal?”

  “That’s the best damn goal I’ve ever heard.”

  Jillian returned to the court and stood with Brian, waiting. She sighed. “Come on, you two!”

  Victoria glared back at her. “Just a second.” Reaching into his pocket, she fished around and extracted a tennis ball, putting it between her breasts. “Now, take this ball and hit a fucking ace.”

  He gave her a determined nod, reached between her breasts, and pulled out the ball. She smiled at him and headed for the net.

  He walked to the service line, looked skyward, paused, then tossed the ball perfectly. He hit the best serve of his life. Brian didn’t even reach for it. He didn’t have a chance.

  Jim grinned.

  Victoria turned and pumped her fist. “Keep it up.”

  Brian asked, “What the hell did you say to him?”

  “I just gave him a pep talk.” Turning back to him once more, Victoria held up her fist. “You can do it, Jim.”

  And he could. He was on fire for the rest of the match. Jillian and Brian shared about twelve “what-the-fuck’s-got-into-him” looks. Forget winning a game, team Grayson/Nash won only one point in the final four games. Team Wilde/Nash took the match two sets to none.

  22

  The two tennis couples stood in the kitchen drinking water. Jillian said, “Jim, you were really in a zone.”

  “I’ve never played like that in my life. If I did consistently, I’d be on the Tour.”

  Brian shook his head in agreement as he stood behind Jillian. Slipping her hand behind her back, she playfully massaged his package. Brian covered his mouth to keep from gasping. He saw Victoria grinning at him as if she knew exactly what they were up to. He figured Jim did not, since his brother’s eyes were currently focused on his tennis partner’s smoking hot body. Brian whispered into Jillian’s ear. She smiled, and he announced, “Why don’t we go for a late dinner? You guys aren’t hungry, are you?”

  Victoria said, “No.”

  Jim replied, “No,” with his eyes still locked on Victoria’s back side.

  “Good,” Jillian said.

  “We’re exhausted. I think we’re going to take a shower and a nap,” Brian said while trying to keep a straight face.

  “Jim, I put some fresh towels in your bathroom.” Jillian turned to Victoria. “Just meet us back here about seven.”

  Victoria nodded her agreement, and Jillian turned and headed out of the room. Brian glanced at his brother and saw him eyeing Victoria’s body. He didn’t want to notice, but Jim had the same telltale bulge in his tennis shorts that Brian was also currently sporting. After grinning unnoticed at the couple currently ignoring him, he took off after his own tennis partner. They walked up the stairs, giggling like two horny teenagers.

  Victoria could feel Jim’s eyes on her. She loved the dance of seduction and felt that the anticipation before the sex was almost as much fun as the sex itself. Turning away, she pretended to look at a photo on the wall and quickly slipped her hand under her skirt and adjusted her panties.

  When she turned back, she took a step and grimaced. “Ouch.”

  “Are you okay?”

  Frowning, she began to limp. “I think I have a splinter or something.”

  She struggled to move to the sofa and sat down, wearing a pained look. “Would you mind checking my foot for me?”

  “No problem.”

  Wearing a more relaxed expression, she swung her leg up on the sofa. Jim sat at the other end of the sofa, facing her. She lifted her leg up to his lap, and he smiled. She pulled her already short skirt up a little while he carefully removed her shoe and sock. Holding her foot gently, he looked closely for the splinter. Fighting back the urge to smile, she lifted her leg a little higher. His gaze traveled up her delicate calf to her creamy thigh to between her legs, and his heart stopped. Her tiny, silky thong was on full display as it struggled to cover her most intimate of areas. His eyes locked on it a moment and his mouth flew open. She wore a slight grin as he held her foot but continued to stare between her legs. While letting him have his moment, she glanced down to see the bulge growing in his shorts.

  Jim snapped out of it and looked up at her face. “Um, where does it hurt?”

  “Oh, it’s on the bottom, I think.” She lifted her leg even higher and grinned, sure that he could probably see a little of her rear end now, as well. He stopped breathing as he glanced at all her wonders before returning his attention to her foot. His eyes darted between the two a few times until she said, “I think you got it out. It feels so much better now.”

  Moving her foot down, she brushed it not-so-accidentally against his throbbing groin. “Oh, sorry.”

  He gave her an embarrassed smile. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

  Before she could answer, Brian called down from the second floor, “Victoria, are you still here?”

  “I am,” she answered back.

  “Can you come up for a second?”

  She smiled at Jim. “Be right back.” Then she rushed up the stairs and met Brian halfway.

  Brian whispered to her, “My brother has a thing for you.”

  “Really?” she said sarcastically.

  “Okay, yeah. I guess you knew that. Am I picking up that you are attracted to him, too?”

  “Oh, God yes!”

  “Be gentle.”

  She glared at him.

  “I’m serious.”

  After giving hi
m a tired look, she smiled. “Are you positive that you don’t mind?”

  Brian motioned for her to follow him up the stairs, and she did. He said softly, “He needs it. He’s a straight-A student who never dates. I wish when I was twenty I’d met a woman like you.”

  “When you were twenty, I wasn’t like this at all.”

  “Take him to your house, though, and if you don’t make it back here by seven, that’s okay.” He flashed his eyes up the stairs. “She seems to be a little horny today.”

  She paused a moment. “You want a tip?”

  “Sure.”

  “I just read about this.” She put her hand in front of him with her first two fingers together pointed straight out, her third finger tucked in and her pinky extended.

  He looked at her hand confused. “What’s that?”

  She held her hand in that position. “The two fingers go in her pussy, the pinky goes in her ass, and then lick her clit while you work the fingers gently inside. Her head will explode.”

  As the lights came on, his eyes widened, and he smiled. “Good tip.”

  After turning, he looked back at her. “Oh, remember… take it easy on him—no around-the-world or anything like that. Don’t ruin him for other women.”

  “Don’t worry.”

  His eyes widened as he remembered to ask, “Oh, yeah, what the hell did you say to him to get him to play like that?”

  “I told him if he beat the crap out of you guys, he could do whatever he wanted with my breasts for as long as he wanted.”

  Staring into her cleavage, he nodded with a faraway look. “Okay.”

  She grinned and headed down the stairs, as Brian ascended the steps, taking them three at a time.

  Appearing in the doorway, Victoria smiled at Jim. “Well, I guess I’ll see you back here at seven.”

  He looked at her, crushed.

  “Or you could come over. Do you want to get ready at my house and then you can keep me company until we go to dinner? Oh, and I almost forgot—I need to give you your winnings.”

  He smiled broadly.

  “Go grab a change of clothes, and we’ll—”

  Jim rushed from the room before she could finish.

  23

  Victoria and Jim walked into her living room. He looked around nervously. “Nice place.”

  “Let me show you where the bathroom is.”

  As she led him through her bedroom, he drank in her body, struggling to believe his luck.

  When they entered the large spa bathroom, she walked over to the huge shower with two showerheads and turned them both on. She turned to discover he was clutching his bag near his chest.

  “You can put that down, you know.”

  He grinned uneasily and placed it on the floor.

  She removed her shoes and socks, pulled her shirt over her head, and shimmied out of her skirt, as he looked on with his heart pounding and his shorts straining.

  She shook her head. “Are you getting in with your clothes on?”

  Grinning, he began ripping his clothes off.

  She slipped out of her underwear and stepped into the shower stall. After adjusting the water to a cooler temperature, she put her head under, gasping slightly with the shock of the cool water. “This feels amazing.”

  He couldn’t take his eyes off her as he stepped into the stall, his penis now standing at attention. She soaped up a loofa and washed her body as she gazed dreamily at his prize. Looking up at his face, she said, “You look a lot like your brother.” She thought, Jim’s spectacular penis looks a lot like what I remember of Brian’s and it might even be a little bigger. Briefly, she felt strange having this information, but as she drank in his young, hard body that feeling evaporated.

  “There’s another sponge over there,” she said.

  He quickly soaped up his sponge and began washing everything really, really well. He stared at her body as the soapy water flowed over her stunning curves.

  She bent over to pump some shampoo into her hand, and he leaned his head against the shower wall, dizzied as he took a long look at her shapely rear. Rising up, she grinned at him, and washed her hair. He continued lazily washing himself as he watched the suds roll down her sizeable breasts as she worked the lather into her hair. Then when she turned into the spray to rinse her hair, he was treated to the breathtaking sight of the suds slipping between the cheeks of her ass. He looked down proudly at his erection, which had never before been this big and hard.

  After finishing with her hair, she looked at him with a sexy smile.

  “Could you hand me some shampoo?” he asked.

  She bent down, picked up the pump, and squirted some into his hand. He lathered up, rinsed, and didn’t repeat. No fucking way was he going to repeat.

  Stepping to him, she moved her lips close to his. “I’m so glad that we beat those guys today. You are quite a player.”

  “You… are, uh, pretty good yourself.”

  She grinned. “I stink. You did everything out there.” After kissing him gently on the mouth, she pulled back an inch and whispered, “Now let me do everything… in here.”

  She kissed his chest, and then sucked on one of his nipples until it was hard. She bent over, kissing her way down to his belly button. He tilted his head toward the ceiling, closed his eyes for a moment, and then looked down at her. He was more than ready.

  Kneeling, she took hold of his equipment. She admired it for a moment, and then looked up at him, grinning. She placed a tiny kiss on the head as she maintained eye contact with him. She watched his expression as he melted with the gentle touch of her lips. Then her gaze slowly returned to it as she held it with both hands. After licking her lips, she opened her mouth wide and took him inside.

  Gasping for breath, he slammed his eyes shut. “Oh, man.”

  The cool water was still beating on his back as Victoria continued to pleasure him with unrestrained enthusiasm. After thirty seconds he called out, “Oh, sorry… I’m going to…”

  She pulled her mouth away from him just in time.

  “Sorry, I, uh…”

  Appearing a little disappointed, she looked up at him as she continued stroking his manhood. He didn’t pull away but began to move his hips back and forth as she worked him. Looking back at his penis, she grinned when she found it still ready to go.

  When she put her lips back to it, he cried out again, “Oh… God… You are amazing!”

  Ten minutes later, Victoria’s jaw ached, and Jim was nowhere near finished. She pulled her mouth from him, sighed, and gazed up at his face then back down. She liked a challenge and decided to bring out the big guns. After pausing a moment to finalize her plan of attack, she adjusted her angle and went back to it. She used both hands and everything she could to get him there. He just moaned loudly, as she worked him for another sixty seconds, but he would not relent.

  Sighing, she slowly pulled her mouth from him and kissed her way up to his face. “You’re so hard. Are you going to finish soon?”

  “It feels incredible, but I don’t think so.”

  “I need a break.”

  “Let me return the favor,” he said as he got down on his knees. He pressed his tongue between her thighs and roughly licked her.

  Quickly pulling away, she gave him a concerned look. “Take it easy. No need to rush… Just do it slowly.”

  After taking a breath, he moved back between her legs. He began slowly but soon went back to his bad technique. Grimacing, she suffered through another minute before tapping him out.

  He looked sadly up at her, and she gave him a forgiving look. “It’s okay.”

  Rising to his feet, he looked away, toward the tile wall.

  She moved her hand to his face and directed his eyes to hers. “Let’s get out of here, and I’ll teach you.”

  In the bedroom, Victoria lay back on the mattress and instructed Jim to kneel next to the bed between her legs. She sat up slightly as he awaited her instruction. “Now lick me gently.”

>   He moved to her and touched her gently with his tongue. Eyeing him hungrily, she whispered, “That’s it. That feels good. Just lick it from the bottom to the top, up and down.”

  He followed her instruction and soon got the hang of it.

  “Mix it up a little. Slip your tongue deep inside and then slowly wander up to my clit and slowly lick it.”

  He looked up at her face. “You taste incredible.”

  Getting back to work, he slipped his tongue deep inside her but was careful to avoid brushing her with his teeth.

  She ran her fingers through his hair as he moved his tongue up to her clitoris, gently teasing it.

  “Now vary the pressure while you do all those things.”

  He did as she asked. It began to go well, really well. After ninety seconds, she moaned, “Oh, yes…”

  Throwing her head back, she screamed out with a powerful orgasm. He looked up at her with a hopeful face.

  Gazing back at him as she gasped for breath, she said, “That was wonderful.”

  He smiled and crawled up next to her in bed.

  She glanced down to find him still in an excited state. “Do you want to have another orgasm?”

  “I do, but can we have sex, like, regular sex? I’ve never—”

  “You’re a virgin?”

  He nodded, embarrassed, and a huge grin spread across her face.

  24

  Victoria and Jim arrived back at the Grayson home a little after seven, but Jillian was still upstairs. She yelled down, “Get in the car. I’ll be right there. We’re going to miss our reservation.”

  Once in the car, Jim remembered he’d left his wallet inside, and he rushed into the house, leaving Victoria and Brian alone.

  “So, did you try that move I told you?” she asked.

  Turning back to look at her, he smiled. “I did, and at first she wondered what the hell I was doing back there, but then she liked it. Wow…” After pausing a moment to recapture the memory, he added, “She loved it, in fact. Thanks for that.”

  “I’m glad I could help.”

  “Actually, she liked it so much she used that technique on me… I mean, just the pinky of course and…”