Risk

by Baylin Crow

  “How’d it go?” As I waited, I stared at the screen, willing a quick response. What if he was on his way back to Pete’s to pack and move already?

  “It didn’t.”

  I frowned at the vague answer. My fingers flew across my phone. “What do you mean?”

  “The apartment reeked of pot. No go.”

  The breath I hadn’t known I was holding rushed out all at once. While I was partly relieved, if it wasn’t this place, it would be another. And probably soon.

  “So what are you going to do?” Why was I asking? He could go stay with Pete, like he’d planned, until he figured something out.

  “I’m headed back to my uncle’s now. Guess I’m going to just keep looking.”

  My fingers flew across the keyboard on the screen without thinking it through. After I pressed send, I stared at what I’d sent. What was wrong with me?

  “You can crash at the apartment until you find a place if you want.” I waited, and when no reply came, I sent another text. “I’ll call the front desk to let you in and have a key made for you on the way back. We’ll go get the rest of your stuff tomorrow.”

  What was I thinking asking Drew to move in? No, not move in. Just a place to stay, temporarily. I waited for his response. He’d probably decline, especially after last night.

  “Okay.”

  I took a deep breath and almost groaned at the thought of having him in my home. I was in deep shit.

  ---

  Drew had now been staying with me for over a week. When I called and told Pete what was up, he hadn’t minded at all, not that Drew couldn’t make his own decisions. But I still wanted Pete to be okay with it.

  He surprised me when he was all for it. He’d even told me he thought it was a good idea. That I’d be a good influence on Drew. If he only knew the thoughts I had about his nephew, he’d probably feel differently. But I didn’t plan on acting on them, so it didn’t matter.

  Drew wasn’t anything like I’d expected. He kept his room spotless and the guest bathroom clean. He refused to be late for work, even if I was running behind. I was taking him in every day, and he’d try to leave without me if I didn’t hurry. Responsible. Dependable. Entirely too tempting. And everything I was told he wasn’t.

  I’d seen him scanning the housing ads daily, which didn’t sit well with me. And I didn’t want to examine why. It was on the tip of my tongue to tell him he could live there for as long as he wanted, but I just couldn’t do it. Keeping my hands off him for an extended period seemed impossible, and I’d lose him as a friend if I tried. And that was what he’d become. A friend.

  Having him as a roommate hadn’t been as big of an adjustment as I’d thought it would be.

  Sure I had to get used to a few things, like my hard-on when he’d go shirtless, especially when he first woke up with a thick mane of messy blond hair and slightly puffy lips. Or sketchbooks and pencils left in stacks on the living room table with whatever he’d been working on. The refrigerator was half full of the things he liked to eat. And his shoes sat next to mine in the entryway.

  Drew often mentioned a friend named Claire. I hadn’t met her, but the way he talked about her made me wonder if things really were as platonic as he insisted. I didn’t like the hint of jealousy that ran through me whenever he’d mention her.

  Having friends was a bit of a problem for me, so I didn’t have many. People who wanted something from me? Sure. Others I hung out with from time to time? Of course. But it would always be impossible to have any real friends when I was lying to every single one of them, except Blake, my best friend. He knew I was gay. Had always known since we were teenagers and I’d just blurted it out one day in the middle of playing video games, but he was busy these days with a pregnant fiancée.

  Drew had left a few minutes ago to hang out with Claire, and I tried to seem nonchalant about it when inside I was wishing he’d just hang out at home with me. When had I become this needy? I shook my head. Ridiculous.

  With Drew being gone there was nothing to do. As I lay in bed, flipping through channels on the TV, my mind wandered. Images of a naked Drew in the shower rushed to my mind as if waiting for the opportunity. My cock swelled and I groaned. The remote fell from my hands and landed on the bed beside me when the urge to stroke myself became too much. I squeezed my shaft through the soft fabric of my boxer briefs.

  I then thought about last night after closing the gym. As promised I’d talked to Pete, who had no problem with me and Drew spending some time after close to work on some moves.

  Last night, after Pete had left, we reviewed jabs and blocks we’d worked on over previous sessions. After a while, Drew said he was ready to spar. The dare in his eyes and sly grin called to the competitor in me, and I darted toward him.

  The sparring round went well, and while I was bigger by quite a bit, he was definitely scrappy. That hadn’t stopped me in the end from climbing on top of him and pinning him face down on the mat. When he’d tried to buck me off him, all it had done was rub his ass against my dick. I’d had to bite my lip to keep from thrusting against him.

  I’d ended our little session immediately afterward and climbed in the cold shower before we left. He’d seemed none the wiser, but we’d have to stop our sessions or I’d lose control and probably embarrass us both.

  So, without him being home, I could take the edge off. I reached for the remote and turned the TV off, lay back in my bed of black silk, and reached for the side table where my laptop rested. I propped it on a pillow next to me, booted it up, and went to my favorite site where I found a video that would do it for me. To be on the safe side, I’d only used the laptop on mute ever since he’d moved in, but since I wasn’t getting any real action lately, I wanted the full experience. I cranked the volume up.

  Shoving my shorts down far enough to release my already aching shaft, I hit play. The room filled with the sounds of a man’s moans as a younger man took him in his mouth. The blond bobbed his head greedily, sucking dick as if his life depended on it. His hair was on the longer side and reminded me a lot of my roommate’s messy locks. When the other man reached down and fisted a handful of those strands my cock jerked, and I began to slowly tease the head. The more I watched the more I thought of Drew, despite trying to focus on the couple on screen. Video forgotten, my eyes closed and I remembered the way his ass had pressed up beneath me the night before as I’d held him down.

  Desire ripped through my body, swift and strong. The driving need to pump my cock became impossible to resist. Tightening my fist around my shaft, I stroked faster and faster, in rhythm to the moans coming through the speakers. With the mental image of Drew, I couldn’t help but imagine the noises were coming from him instead. He was sucking me deep and causing me to leak onto his tongue. My balls grew tight, so I slowed my hand. I was close and wasn’t ready to be done with him. If this was the only way I could have him, then I was going to make it count. Just this once.

  The sounds changed to skin slapping against skin. Picturing him just as he was last night, but this time naked while I sank into him over and over from behind. The man from the video growled deep in his throat. Or maybe that was me. In my head, my arms wrapped around Drew, flipping him over onto his back. Then straddling his chest, I leaned forward and fed him my throbbing length. I groaned as I fucked my hand, pretending my cock was sliding through those perfect pouty lips. Soft and wet, wrapped around hard steel.

  Fuck, this was so wrong, but I couldn’t stop. His mouth tightened…

  My eyes flew open and my body stilled when a soft creak sounded near my door, barely loud enough to make out over the moaning coming from the speakers. I jerked my head toward the door. Drew. In my doorway. Eyes wide. Cheeks flushed. My fantasy and fear all wrapped into one sexy package. Why hadn’t I shut my damn door?

  Our gazes locked before mine lowered to his obvious bulge in his jeans. He took a step back, his eyes flicking briefly to the laptop. I wondered what he thought about what he saw there. My teeth
sank into the flesh of my bottom lip. Drew’s eyes returned to mine before lowering to my mouth and his gaze grew hooded. Fuck, he’s sexy.

  The idea of him seeing me bare and getting myself off caused my already swollen shaft to jerk, demanding attention. I had a bit of a voyeur streak in me, which was one of the reasons I’d gone to the club that had started the whole publicity nightmare. What seemed like forever, and not nearly long enough, with Drew standing there, lasted only seconds. He appeared ready to run, and right before he darted away, I turned away and uttered one word that would ruin everything.

  “Stay.” My hand began moving again and I listened for footsteps. Instead, I heard Drew’s breath as it raced in and out of his lungs. Fuck. This is happening. My heart began to thunder in my chest.

  One shaky hand began to stroke again while the other slowly reached down to pull my shorts lower, revealing everything. I continued rolling and pumping, quickening my pace as I envisioned him glancing down to my cock. Watching as it leaked for him. Would he be affected? Would he get hard and think about me while he took care of it later? My eyes closed and a growl rumbled deep in my throat.

  An answering slight moan escaped Drew’s mouth, and my release hit hard, my whole body tensing. Aftershocks sent jolts down my spine as I continued to milk the last of my release onto my stomach.

  My racing heart continued to beat erratically, and I could barely hear anything over the blood rushing through my ears. When I was able to crack my eyes open, he was gone. As I reached over to close out of the window on my laptop, I found myself grinning. A small chuckle followed. Who knew my little Drew had a voyeur streak in him as well. What did it mean that he’d watched me?

  But with release came clarity.

  Fuck.

  What had I just done? I scrubbed my hand over my face, the stubble on my cheeks scraping my palm. Clearly, having Drew around was going to be a problem if I couldn’t stop thinking about fucking him. After what had just happened between us, it was going to be so much worse. How was I supposed to look at him now without remembering the look in his eyes when he’d agreed to stay? It had been too long since I’d been with someone. Hooking up with someone in secret, without the paps knowing every detail, was difficult, not impossible. I sighed and slumped further into my pillows. The problem was I didn’t just want to get laid. I wanted Drew.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  DREW

  TWENTY MINUTES AGO

  “Look what the cat dragged in.” Claire smiled and hugged me tight in the lobby of Asher’s building. Even though I hadn’t moved far, we hadn’t seen each other since she dropped me off at the gym. It wasn’t just me. She’d seemed a little busier than normal too. We were long overdue to hang out.

  “Claire Bear, I missed you. Where’ve you been?” I squeezed her back. When I released her, she looked away, cheeks suspiciously stained a striking shade of pink. I squinted at her as she avoided my eyes. We could discuss it at dinner. I patted my pocket. “Oh, I forgot my wallet upstairs. I need to run and get it, but you,” I said, pointing at her, “have some explaining to do.”

  She waved a dismissing hand. “Hurry up. I’m parked out front. I don’t want a ticket.” As soon as she said it, I looked up at Frank who was frowning at her with disapproval. Winking, I told her I’d be right back.

  After the quick ride up in the elevator and using my key to enter, I stopped short as soon as I stepped down the hall toward my room. The sounds of moans carried through the cracked door of Asher’s room.

  I tried to be quiet as I went in my room. I didn’t want to intrude, but I needed my wallet. Since my room was across from his, I hoped he wouldn’t be pissed.

  Asher hadn’t wasted any time once I’d left, so he was probably hooking up with some chick who lived in the building. I needed to tell him I didn’t care if he brought them home. As I was stepping back into the hall, wallet in hand, I heard two voices…two decidedly male voices.

  Completely caught off guard and not meaning to, I snapped my head toward his door. Through the gap, directly in front of me was the profile of Asher’s body as he reclined on his bed. His long frame stretched out as he lay on his back. Chest bare, with his shorts pulled low, one hand was wrapped around his generous cock that stood erect as he pumped with lazy strokes while the other rested on his stomach. On a pillow opposite where I stood, his laptop sat open and his head was turned, focused on the screen. Two men moaned again, and Asher’s hand began to move a little faster. From my vantage point, I had a clear view of what held his attention, and the images on the screen caused my mouth to drop open. There was no way that…

  Asher’s bed was several feet away so maybe I was mistaken. I shook my head, but then the angle changed on the video and zoomed in straight to the action where a dick was gliding in and out of another man’s ass. There was no denying it. Asher was watching gay porn. I should’ve left. Hell, I should’ve left as soon as I saw his hand on his cock, but my feet refused to budge.

  The man on the receiving end pressed back, and on a keening moan, demanded he wanted it harder. Holy shit!

  I was curious. That was the only reason I had for leaning forward to get a better look at the screen. When Asher’s head turned slightly, giving me view of the side of his face, his eyes were closed and he let out a deep groan. The sound startled me and caused me to jerk, straight into the door, opening it further and causing a low squeak. Shit! Panicked, I glanced up and found he’d frozen mid-stroke and his eyes were now locked on mine.

  Horrified and oddly turned on, I couldn’t make myself move. One of the men on screen shouted, the sound jarring me out of my stupor. I took a step back and then another. But then Asher turned back to the laptop and said, “Stay.” The word, low and gravelly, stopped me cold.

  He couldn’t mean he wanted me to…what? Watch him? I could have left right then. But I didn’t. He could have stopped. But he didn’t. Stay.

  My eyes traced over the naked planes of his chest, stopping to take in the ink that always drew me in. Down my gaze roamed over his tanned abs that flexed with each stroke. Finally, my eyes fell to his hand wrapped tight around his impressive cock, pumping slowly. Teasing. As I studied every movement, he reached down with the other hand and pulled his shorts lower, putting all the goods on display. My breathing stuttered and my heart began beating out of control, pounding in my chest, when he began massaging that full sac surrounded by dark trimmed hairs. A wet bead formed on his tip and my mouth went dry. My reaction confused me, but that was hard to think about when my cock was throbbing, demanding the same attention Asher’s was receiving.

  A deep groan that seemed to vibrate down my spine echoed in his room coming from the speakers. Only then did I notice he wasn’t watching the screen anymore. While I’d been focused on his hand moving steadily over his cock, his head had turned toward me. His eyes were closed. That muscled arm moved quicker, tossing in a twist on every down stroke.

  I didn’t want to keep watching. I didn’t. But I was insanely curious about what he looked like when he came. I’d officially lost my mind. This was wrong, intruding on his privacy. Except, he knew I was there. What the fuck were we playing at?

  My cock throbbed in my jeans, causing me to involuntarily squeeze myself. I had a sudden vision of walking into his room and having his lips wrapped around my shaft as I thrust in and out of that mouth…or even taking him in mine. The moan that escaped my parted lips startled me. When had I started thinking about his mouth and what it would feel like? Did I really just picture myself sucking cock?

  Still reeling from the conjured images, I kept my gaze glued to Asher as his head snapped back, sinking further into the pillow as his neck arched, finally letting go with a deep growl. I licked my lips when his come shot onto his stomach. When it was over and he started to catch his breath, reality returned with a vengeance. My breath edged toward hyperventilation and my forehead grew slick with perspiration. I had to get out of there.

  Shifting myself in my pants, I left quietly, still
trying to connect the dots between what I’d witnessed and Asher’s reputation with women. Between the longing warring in me and my past desires. I fought the urge to lock myself in the bathroom and relieve the ache that so desperately demanded release, but that would mean staying and possibly talking about what had just happened. Not an option.

  I made it back to the front door and closed it without making a sound. Praying my pants wouldn’t still be tented by the time I got to the lobby, I pressed the button for the elevator and shook my head, trying to dispel the erotic images set on replay in my mind.

  Claire was waiting right where I left her. “Get lost?” she asked, and the answer was definitely yes, just not in the way she meant.

  “Sorry, couldn’t remember where I left it, so I had to look around. Let’s go.” I grabbed her arm and steered us toward the entrance, so we could grab some pizza and talk about whatever she’d been keeping from me. Now, it was me who was definitely keeping something from her.

  “There better not be a ticket on my window or you’re paying for it,” she griped.

  ---

  Claire didn’t reveal her secret, no matter how much I prodded. And I wasn’t in a place to push too hard, since I had undisclosed news of my own. She didn’t seem aware that I’d had a life-changing event just prior to dinner, which suited me. I couldn’t share with her what I didn’t yet understand myself. So, after catching up with Claire, I returned to a quiet apartment.

  Asher’s door was closed, so I could avoid having to deal with an awkward situation at least for one night. I entered my bedroom and closed the door without a sound, breathing a sigh of relief. After undressing, I crawled into bed.

  Dinner with Claire had been difficult with the confusion swarming in my head. As I lay in bed, my thoughts centered on Asher. Everything I thought I knew about him, and even myself, was called into question. What did it mean that I’d watched? Did it make me gay? Or what did people call it, bi-curious? My eyes refused to close and I stared up at the ceiling. I didn’t have anyone I could talk to about it, not that I would anyway. It took me hours to fall asleep, and even then, my dreams were filled with questions. And worse, I dreamed of the night’s events, except this time, Asher invited me into the room. I didn’t say no.