Heartache

by Danielle Allen

  “No ma’am. I didn’t see anyone.”

  “I know he didn’t leave. Maybe he’s in the car. I’m going to go look around.” She gestured down the hallway. “Everyone is in there.”

  “Thank you.” I smiled at her and slowly made my way deeper into the house, following the music.

  Passing a few men and women of various ages, I ended up in the living room where people were moving in and out of the double doors that led to the back yard.

  “Roman Harper?” a woman with short blonde hair questioned me as she stopped in her tracks. “Oh it is! Honey look!”

  A casually dressed man turned around and sized me up with glassy eyes. “Roman Harper!” He extended his hand, shaking it firmly. “I just paid a bill for a rather expensive painting by you for my little lady here. Lucky for both of you, I can afford it!” He laughed in a way that grated on my nerves.

  I hated for people to bring up money for the sake of announcing that they had it.

  “And it’s pretty good too,” he added offhandedly.

  “I’m glad you like it,” I replied with a tight smile.

  Asshole, I added silently.

  “Honey!” the woman chastised him, giving him a horrified look. “I’m sorry. Don’t mind my husband. His humor is...lacking. Anyway, I’m such a fan of your work! I didn’t realize you were friends with Stanley and Lidia.”

  “I didn’t either,” Bianca stated icily, her voice cutting in from behind me and making my heart race. “Will you excuse us for a minute, please?”

  Without waiting for a response, Bianca grabbed my arm and dragged me out of the living room. As I was being pulled away from the music, I couldn’t help but notice that the short, dark green dress she wore matched the shirt I had on.

  What are the odds, I thought with a smile.

  As she stalked down the hall, my eyes inadvertently checked her out. The dress complimented her caramel complexion beautifully. It was classy and didn’t hug her body tightly, but it was short.

  I mean, really short.

  If she didn’t have on black tights, her ass would’ve definitely been out. Each time she took a step and her dress flared out from her body, I felt my eyes lingering a little longer. I tried not to stare so I split my focus between the sexy five inch heeled boots she had on and the way her hair was pinned up, showing off her neck and shoulders.

  Fuck, I internally groaned, gritting my teeth. I tore my eyes away from her and stared at the door ahead of us.

  The attraction I felt to Bianca seemed to intensify every time I saw her. I wasn’t sure if it was the fact that I missed having her around or because I hadn’t had sex in months, but just seeing her did something to me.

  What is wrong with me? She’s my friend. Or at least, she was my friend. This can’t happen. This cannot—.

  She stopped abruptly in front of a doorway and I almost ran into the back of her. Spinning around, Bianca glared at me.

  If I thought it was hard to stop staring at her from behind, I wasn’t at all prepared for looking into her eyes. My stomach knotted as I stared at her. Letting my gaze drop from her face down her body, I was at a loss for words.

  “You look incredible,” I breathed, completely caught off guard by how badly I wanted to pull her into me.

  I took a step back. I knew I needed space and she was entirely too close for comfort.

  Bianca’s eyes narrowed slightly before she scanned them down my body. She took her own step back. “What are you doing here?” she snapped, hands on her hips. “Ruining my date wasn’t enough, now you want to ruin one of the few obligatory social engagements I have to attend for my parents.”

  “I’m not trying to ruin your night and I really wasn’t trying to ruin your date.” I hesitated to say what I wanted to say for fear of causing further damage, but I wasn’t good at holding my tongue about things I was passionate about. “But you can do so much better than him, B,” I spat in frustration.

  It’s like she’s dating Ashton for the sole purpose of getting under my skin.

  “Why does it matter to you?” she challenged, taking a step closer to me. Her chest was rising and falling rapidly and it made me take notice of my own breathing.

  “Come on Bianca.” I clenched my jaw and glared back at her. “Stop. Just stop.”

  “Me stop? You need to stop! I asked you a legitimate question…” She trailed off and the angry mask she wore slipped. She averted her eyes as her face trembled. I watched her throat as she swallowed repeatedly as if she were swallowing her sentence. She bit the corner of her lip momentarily before she made eye contact with me again. “You made sure our friendship was over so you have no right to comment on my love life.”

  Her voice lowered and her words didn’t have the same bite as they had before. I could feel the tension, anger and pain between us and it hurt me. I put the heel of my hand over my heart and pressed into it.

  I can’t do this.

  “B, I just came here to talk to you. I called, but you weren’t answering your phone.”

  “Because I’m busy!” she exclaimed. She pointed down the hall. “How do you think it would look to the man that I’m dating if he catches you here? How do you think that would make him feel?”

  My entire body seemed to get hot at once, as if my blood was actually boiling. I inhaled and exhaled noisily until I could calm myself down enough to respond. My head throbbed with a sudden headache. Running my hands down my face a couple of times, I dropped my arms at my sides and just stared at her.

  “I’m going to be quite honest with you right now,” I growled in a low tone, taking a step closer to her. I held her gaze to make sure she was truly listening to what I was saying to her. “I don’t give a fuck about Ashton. There are not many things that I care about as it is and I can guarantee you that Ashton fucking Blue is not one of them.”

  “Clearly I’m not on that list either if you could just end our friendship the way you did,” Bianca hissed back.

  “I did it for you.”

  “You did it for yourself,” she returned, just as forcefully.

  I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. When I opened them, Bianca was still glowering at me. I felt my emotions swirling inside of me and as much as I wanted to contain them, I knew I was close to my limit.

  I need to warn Bianca about the last email and then leave as soon as possible, I planned silently as she bit down on her bottom lip. I couldn’t tell if she was holding back tears or holding herself back from cursing me out, but the visual of her biting her lip only added to my attraction to her. This is getting out of hand.

  “Bianca, I—”

  Interrupting me, Bianca poked me in my chest. “You are a liar, Roman. You said you would never let anything happen to me, and then you happened to me. You said you didn’t want to see me hurt, and then you hurt me. You said you didn’t want to see me again, and then you keep showing up. And that’s probably the most fucked up thing about it because I actually care about you.”

  “I need to go,” I warned her, shaking my head and taking another step back. “I shouldn’t be here.”

  “Fine! Go! I don’t understand why you’re here anyway.” She threw her hands in the air. “This whole situation is fucked.”

  What’s fucked is that I can’t stop thinking about you. What’s fucked is that I miss you. That’s what’s fucked, I screamed silently while shaking my head.

  We just stared at each other from opposite sides of the hallway, neither of us talking or moving. We were just breathing harshly at one another, daring the other to speak. Even though I understood why she was mad, I felt justified in my anger...until I truly looked into her eyes.

  There was no denying that the little crease in between her eyebrows from her glaring at me was because she was pissed. Her full lips were pursed tightly and her hands were balled into fists as they rested on her hips. She was definitely angry, but her eyes looked sad.

  Bianca chewed on the corner of her lip for a second before
she threw my words back at me. “Leave. I don’t want you here, Roman.”

  Her voice broke as she said my name and it took everything in me not to push her into that darkened room and kiss the pain out of her voice and the tremble out of her lips.

  “Bianca,” I whispered. “I came here—”

  “You came here to dig the knife in a little deeper.”

  “No. No, that’s not…” I sighed, failing to explain myself without revealing feelings I didn’t understand. My emotions had reached their limit and I knew I wasn’t going to be able to stop myself. “Fuck it.”

  I charged across the hallway, pushing her against the wall. Without thinking about it, I grabbed her face and crashed my lips against hers. With my hands around her neck and my thumbs caressing her skin, I kissed her hard and with enough passion to take her breath away. She moaned in response and the sound drove me crazy. Something deep in my gut tightened as I felt her full lips move against mine. With each tiny suck of my bottom lip, she made me even harder. Impulsively, I groaned loudly when her tongue grazed mine, sending shivers up and down my spine. Her hands grabbed at my shirt, keeping our bodies constantly connected. My heart thudded in my chest and because we were so close, I could feel hers doing the same.

  “Roman,” she moaned sexily against my mouth, pushing herself against me.

  Just hearing her saying my name like that was too much for me. It wasn’t just that my dick was hard as a rock, my heart was beating so hard that it felt like it would explode. It was as if the more I got, the more I wanted from her.

  I let my lips hover over hers momentarily, testing my ability to stop kissing her and I was immediately drawn back in. Her lips were just too soft and she tasted too good.

  Reveling in the feeling of her hands making their way under my shirt, I deepened the kiss. Her warm hands moved over my back before pulling me so that I was leaning against her leaning against the wall. My dick pressed into her and she started rocking her body against it.

  I need to get her home. Our first time—

  As soon as I realized where my mind was going, I pulled away, leaving us both breathless.

  Her eyes flashed with the same intensity the kiss had carried. We stood staring at one another for a moment, winded. With her mouth opened slightly, she brought her fingers to her lips. Her body sagged against the wall.

  Oh shit, I thought as realization of what I’d just done dawned on me. My gut twisted viciously as lust and pain mixed.

  The wide-eyed shock on her face let me know that she was probably thinking the same thing, but the look in her eyes was the same one that always affected me.

  I swallowed thickly and forced myself to take another step back. I needed more distance. I could still feel her skin on mine. I could still feel her lips covering mine. I could still feel her body pressed up against me.

  Stop, I demanded of myself, tearing my eyes away from her. I needed to calm down so I shut my eyes and ran my hands down my face repeatedly. Once I had collected myself enough that I didn’t feel like I was going to rip her clothes off, I opened my eyes to find her watching me.

  I lost control. I fucked up.

  “I shouldn’t have done that,” I whispered as I backed up further, reaching the wall directly across from her. My body started to deflate as I realized how badly I’d messed things up by letting my emotions get the best of me. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t…I’m sorry.”

  Just as Bianca opened her mouth to respond, we heard Mrs. Baker’s voice cut through the music and the laughing partygoers.

  “Bianca!” Mrs. Baker called out, the sound ringing like a fire alarm.

  Bianca’s head snapped in the direction of her mother, but I didn’t bother to look, keeping my eyes trained on Bianca.

  I hurt her daughter by kicking her out of my house and telling her I didn’t want to see her again. Then I ruined her daughter’s date. Then I showed up to this party uninvited and put my lips and hands places they shouldn’t have been. Yeah, I’m not looking at Mrs. Baker. She might not even recognize my profile so I’m just going to act like I don’t see or hear her and then slip out the front door.

  “I need you and Roman to come here please.”

  Shit!

  _____

  Chapter Fifteen

  The hurt in Bianca’s eyes gutted me as she cast a glance at me before making her way back toward the party.

  I waited until she was a few steps ahead of me before following. Even with her mother’s eyes boring into me, I couldn’t help but appreciate the green of the dress against Bianca’s bronze skin. The way the dress flared out, hinting at her full hips and rounded ass, was sexy. But the confidence in her walk was hypnotic.

  She reached her mother first and after talking for a second, Bianca’s hand went to her mouth and then she headed through a nearby door. I glanced at the door as I approached Mrs. Baker.

  “She went to the powder room to clean up her smudged lipstick,” Mrs. Baker informed me with a raised eyebrow. “Just friends, huh?”

  Before I could respond, Bianca exited the bathroom looking just as beautiful as she had before. She looked between me and her mother with a guarded gaze.

  “You are supposed to be mingling with the guests, Bianca. You know the deal,” she chastised her quietly. “And now that word has spread that Roman Harper is here, you two will now mingle together.”

  I looked at Bianca quickly.

  We can’t do this.

  “Mother, we can’t,” Bianca said simply.

  “You can and you will,” Mrs. Baker countered, giving us a tight smile. “How else will I explain the little public display of affection you two were putting on at the end of the hall? I will not have you two and whatever happened down the hall be the focal point of my gathering. That is not the deal, Bianca.”

  I can’t listen to this anymore. It’s my fault and I’m not going to let B go down because of it.

  “We’ll do it,” I replied. “Whatever you need.”

  Bianca glared at me, but I turned my attention back to her mother.

  “Apparently I was wrong about you and your career choice, Roman. As word spread about your appearance here, I learned that a few of my friends were actually at a recent show of yours and that you have some sort of deal.” She nodded in apparent approval before turning on her heel and walking off.

  “That was the closest thing to an apology as you’re going to get,” Bianca muttered before turning her whole body to look at me. “Why did you say we’d do this?”

  “Because I keep fucking up and I didn’t want to fuck up your financial situation. I know your parents give you money if you do these appearances with them. If your mom wants me to be here for a little while, I will be here for a little while. I shouldn’t have gotten you into this mess.”

  “Apparently, there are a lot of things you shouldn’t have done,” she snapped sarcastically as we walked to the living room.

  “Roman!” Mr. Baker burst out in his booming voice.

  Bianca and I both startled, turning quickly as he approached us.

  “Bianca, you didn’t tell us that you’d invited Roman.” He shook my hand firmly. “It’s good to see you again, young man. Nice shirt.”

  “Thank you, sir. It was actually a gift from Bianca.”

  Mr. Baker smiled. “Bianca and her mother give great gifts.”

  I glanced over at Bianca and a small smile played on her lips.

  “So what’s this party for?” I asked, seeing more and more people around a fire pit in the backyard. It was a clear night with a perfect temperature so I didn’t think the fire pit was necessary, but it looked cool.

  “We have a buyer for the house,” Mr. Baker announced happily, seemingly oblivious to the tense look on Bianca’s face.

  I looked between the two of them. “How soon before you need to be out?”

  “In just a few weeks. May first, actually. Our realtor called yesterday with the news, so we decided we should see all of our Richmond friends before
we head to Paris.” He took a sip of his wine. “But enough about me. When you were here the other day, you didn’t mention you had graduated from art teacher to famed artist.”

  I shook my head. “I wouldn’t describe it exactly like that, but things are going well, yes.”

  “Good for you!” he cheered, lifting his glass and then putting it to his lips. “I’d like you to meet a few people who have been talking about you all night. You too, Bianca.”

  Mr. Baker ushered us across the room to one of the last groups of people still in the living room. Four women of varying ages stood in a semi-circle eyeing me as we walked up. I had the urge to drape my arm around Bianca’s shoulders to ward off any advances, but considering the circumstances, I didn’t think that was the best idea.

  “Ladies, I believe this is the young man you were just talking about,” Mr. Baker announced, introducing me to the group. “And this is my daughter, Bianca. Roman, Bianca, these ladies are part of the volunteer board at the Richmond Art Museum.” A man in a suit pulled him away before he was able to introduce each woman by name.

  “Roman Harper,” one woman squealed. “I’m such a fan! I was at your show a week ago and I just received my painting today. I haven’t had time to put it up yet, but that’s on the agenda for the weekend.”

  Flashing a gracious smile, I said, “Good, I’m glad you got it so soon and I’m happy that you’re happy with your purchase.”

  “I’ve been following your career for a while now and I even tried to get into one of your art classes a few semesters ago,” another woman chimed in.

  The first woman turned her sights to Bianca. Looking between the two of us suspiciously, she made a face. “So what are you doing now, Bianca? Your parents mentioned that you were in Italy.”

  “I was,” Bianca replied with a strained smile on her face. “I finished my program a couple of months ago and now I’m back here.”

  “So you’re not working?” another woman asked, glancing at Mr. Baker on his way back to us before returning her eyes to Bianca. Her voice dripped with judgment. “Do you think you’re going to find something?”