The Fight Within

by Laveen, Tiana

  What he didn’t tell Brian was that while he stood on that bustling sidewalk next to Natasha, a hot Starbucks coffee in one hand and his new leather briefcase in the other, he’d thought about Treasure and her children. It was the damndest thing. He thought about how excited he had been to finally meet her, Brian and Asia after how she’d talked the two up and all the photos he’d seen of the two of them. It presented an opportunity like the woman could never understand—gave him a second chance to right the wrongs of history, and script a brand new version of things. All of this gave him the ability to help nurture a seed, but not be fully rewarded by having one of his own. It gave him a second chance from a distance, and he greedily accepted it, promising to do right by Brian and Asia. He felt he owed it to that nineteen year old that never got a chance to enter the world. And though he wasn’t convinced he’d necessarily made the wrong choice, he knew he had too many questions and doubts to be one hundred percent certain, and that had been what haunted him the most, year after year.

  Brian and Asia were his. The two people he’d come to quickly love, he’d shield and encourage. Should that young man be a father soon, they’d handle it together. They were a family now, looking out for one another. Sometimes things just don’t go as planned. Sean knew this all too well. Life is, more times than not, unscripted. The heart cannot be choreographed, drawn out on architectural paper, and rehearsed beforehand like a Broadway production. No…the heart does things on the spur of the moment, impulsive, looking for pleasure and love, looking for acceptance and a gentle soul to slide next to, integrate and wrap around as tight as possible in the effort to become one.

  The heart could be broken…like Natasha’s, after she took her pregnancy test and the aftermath. Or like Treasure’s, once she discovered her ex-husband’s infidelity and the realization her marriage had ended. Or like Sean’s, after being told, once again, that he simply wasn’t good enough.

  But the heart could also be mended. It bends, twists and accepts the glue offered by a well-intended passerby or potential suitor. It relies on the opportunity to be repaired and healed. And healing comes, oh yes; it comes if you allow it. It navigates and finds you, and rectifies your broken self by lifting you high in love, and gifting you with additional time…

  The heart always wants to mend. We simply have to let it…

  *

  The following day…

  “You want to explain this to me?” Treasure crossed her legs, causing her robe to sway open, expose her silky panties. On this Saturday afternoon, the breakfast nook table was covered in scattered open mail, glossy magazine subscriptions, and a pair of tiny, navy blue reading glasses she’d purchased but refused to wear despite seeing double on occasion.

  Sean casually picked up his yellow cup of coffee with the picture of a boy peeing in a pile of leaves, took a leisurely sip, and turned the page of her interior decoration magazines, as if he were truly interested. She rolled her eyes at the man, sitting there putting on airs.

  “You ever wonder about zombies falling in love?” he asked, his tone serious as another lustrous page fell casually open in his grip, exposing a sepia and wine colored comforter set.

  “Sean.” Treasure slumped in her chair and looked at him woefully. The man was certifiable. Of this, she had no doubt. “I’ve fallen in love and married a lunatic. Answer my question about this bank notice.” She tapped the thing with her fingertip, scooting the ‘Paid in Full’ notice a bit closer to the man.

  “What happens if they break up? Does he threaten to eat her? I guess that would be like sex to them though, right? But their demise, too…What if it were reversed? The girl zombie was mad? She’d eat him but would he enjoy it if she nibbled on his privates? Maybe he’d sacrifice himself for sex, for the thrill of it, like a widow spider’s mate.”

  “Sean!”

  “Back to the zombie boy for a minute.” He raised his hand in the air as if he were discussing deep philosophical situations that begged for answers. “If she breaks his heart, does he tell her in a fit of rage, ‘You’re dead to me!’?”

  She burst out laughing and slapped her hand against the table, causing her coffee cup to rattle.

  “Stop it!” she said, pointing at him. “I’m serious, stop bein’ silly and answer me.”

  “I paid off your mortgage. So what?” He turned another page of the magazine, this time glancing at a set of silver wicker baskets.

  “These look like something Wonder Woman would have in her house if she knitted…She’d put all her super-powered yarn in them. Waaaaanda Waaaaa-muuuuuun! She’s knit-tin lasss-ohs, to catch tha bad guuuuys! Waaaaanda Waaaaa-muuuuuun!”

  “Sean!” She refused to laugh though it was damn hard! “And what do you mean so what? I mean, I appreciate it, but you could have said something. You didn’t have to do—”

  “I know I didn’t have to do it.” He looked at her sternly. Placing the magazine face down, he positioned his hand over it as if he were being sworn in. “I wanted to do it. You’re my wife now. This is our house. This is for our family. You said you didn’t want to move into a new house, disrupt the children’s lives.” He shrugged. “Cool. I made up my mind at that time that I was going to do it. I don’t need your ex-husband’s money, nor do you. His name will be off here, and then we’re in the clear. Besides, it wasn’t that much.”

  “…It was more than a little bit.”

  “It wasn’t a whole lot. Anyway, answer me about this zombie love.”

  “I refuse to acknowledge that silliness with a response.”

  “You just did.”

  “You’re dead to me,” she quipped.

  “I’ll eat you alive…”

  “The kids aren’t here. You ready to put your money where your mouth is?” she goaded.

  “Braaaaaiinnns! Braaaiiinnns!” He rose from his chair, extended his arms like a zombie and dropped his jaw in a parody of the horror movie character.

  “Get away from me!” she squealed as she popped up from her seat, tossing a napkin in his direction.

  “Puuussssy! Pussssssy! I’m going to eeeaaaaaat tha pussy!”

  “Oh My God!” She cackled and raced out of the kitchen down the hall, then waited for the slow poke at the bottom of the stairs that led to their bedroom.

  “Assss! I need asssss!” he yelled, stomping toward her like some Frankenstein monster, legs stiff, void of working kneecaps.

  “You’re too slow, zombie boy! If this were a real game of cat and mouse, I would have been on a plane to Peru by now and you’d just be making your way out the kitchen,” she mocked as she took her first trek up the steps.

  “Peru sounds too much like pussy…” he said matter-of-factly. “Don’t tease me this way.”

  “No, it doesn’t. The only similarity is they both begin with the letter, ‘P’.”

  “Try saying Peruvian Pussy Placed Perfectly Perpendicular real fast! Then tell me it doesn’t sound similar!” he protested with a silly grin.

  “…I want you drug tested.” Smirking, she swung the bedroom door open and rushed inside as he was now hot on her heels.

  “Now I’ve got cha!” he screamed before beating his chest.

  “You went from a zombie to Dr. Seuss to Tarzan! Pick a struggle!”

  The maniac chased her around the bed, disrobing simultaneously. He tossed a shirt here, a sock there, until his cock saluted her, saying a ‘How do ya mothafuckin’ do?’

  “I’d prefer to pick you up off the ground, slam you down on this bed, and fuck you good ’nd hard, Jane of the Jungle!”

  “Oh, hold up now!” Treasure grabbed a pillow off the bed, covering her body as if needing protection from the ravenous beast.

  “How about a little Horton Hears a Who? ‘I’ll find the pussy!’ cried Horton! ‘I’ll find it and bust. I shall find her sweet spot, with my big dick and consuming lust!’”

  “Ahhhhh!!!!” Treasure screamed, laughing all the way.

  The fiend continued to chase her around and around, his
cock bouncing about with each step he took.

  …And with that, he paused, slammed the door behind them and took her like a thief in the night…

  ‡

  Chapter Thirty

  “Look, you dodged a bullet in some regards, okay? Wipe that smile off your face. This isn’t funny and I hope you learned your lesson.”

  Brian sat in Sean’s office, wearing a big grin, and his eyes filled with relief.

  “I know, I know, but I’m so glad this shit is over.”

  “Look.” Sean leaned lazily over in his chair. “You’ve been given another chance. Shanice’s doctor confirmed she wasn’t pregnant, and of course I’m relieved for both of you. Regardless, you’ve got to be more careful in the future, Brian. I know it’s hard sometimes, but you’ve got to wear protection because there are much worse things than a baby that can happen if you don’t.”

  “I know, I know.” The boy looked down into his lap.

  “Not to lecture you…not trying to. Obviously from what I told you I didn’t follow my own advice, either. I just don’t want you in this boat again. Unless you’re ready to be a father, which clearly you aren’t, just watch yourself. Now,” he cleared his throat and looked down at his stack of papers, “you’ve got your senior year coming up and you wanted to go on that trip to Italy with your class. I think we can swing it.”

  “My dad already paid for it.”

  Sean paused, tossed and turned the revelation over in his mind.

  “And you have no reservations with that? I’m just making sure.”

  “Yeah, it’s cool. He’s trying, ya know? So I don’t see this money as him trying to throw cash at a problem. He knew I wanted to go and he took care of it. Oh, and uh, thanks for not tellin’ Mama about Shanice and me. I appreciate you giving me time and not running back to her, sayin’ anything.”

  “I told you I’d never do that, and I meant that. It was hard, I won’t deny it, but at least we needed it confirmed before she knew anything.”

  “Yeah…”

  “I don’t like keeping secrets from her, but this time, it was for the best. No sense in getting her all worked up and we didn’t even have all the information first.”

  “Right…right. So…” Brian ran his fingers through his braids, a slight look of concern on his face. “I want to give you a heads up about something.”

  “What?” Sean opened his computer and began the task of sorting through his afternoon emails.

  “My dad doesn’t like you, Sean. I know you don’t care, and I’ve tried to tell him that you’re real good to me and Asia, but he says a lot of messed up stuff to us about you. He’s jealous, man.”

  Sean shrugged. Although he listened to what Brian was saying, he didn’t give a fraction of a damn.

  “As long as he just focuses on being a good and active father, and stays out of my and your mother’s way, then I couldn’t care less how he feels, what he says behind my back, or what he wants.”

  “Yeah…I know, I know but uh…” He slid his hand in his slouchy jean pocket and looked Sean in the eye. “He told me he was comin’ over to the house today to wait for you and have a talk. He was real mad when you two got married, Sean. I had never seen him like that before. On top of it, I think he was kinda mad at me for walking Mama down the aisle, too. I guess he felt like I betrayed him, but I’m glad I did it. Anyway, I told him that wasn’t a good idea, you know, coming over to do that, but he seemed hell-bent on it.”

  “That’s fine.” Sean began to type across his keyboard, composing an email to his boss with the latest project status reports. “Don’t you worry about this, okay? I’ll take care of it.”

  Brian nodded, but still didn’t look convinced things would blow over, easy, breezy, and peasy.

  If this son of a bitch thinks he’s going to pick another fight with me and walk away in one piece, he’s got another damn think coming. Now he’s trying to be ‘Father of the Year’. Yeah, come on over, Jackson… You might walk in like Tito, but at the end you’ll whimper like Michael…

  “HeeeHeeeee!”

  “Huh?” Brian’s brow shot upward.

  Shit! Did I say that out loud?

  “What?”

  “You just made a strange noise, like the one Michael Jackson would make in most of his songs.” Brian looked at him inquisitively.

  “Oh… uh, hey, you want something to drink? Are you hungry? We had catered lunches today.” He quickly rose from his seat.

  “Yeah, I’m a little hungry. Practically starved myself as I waited for Shanice to call me from the doctor’s office. I didn’t have an appetite.”

  Sean nodded in understanding. “Go out my door, make a quick left, walk down the hall all the way to the back. There’s a break room. Inside is a television and a table set with sandwich fixings, chips, and drinks, and I think some chocolate chip cookies. Make yourself at home. Oh and here…” He removed his door badge from his suit jacket and handed it to the boy as he got on his feet. “You’ll need this to enter and get back inside of here. After you eat, we’ll leave. It’s almost six but your mom has to work late so make sure you grab some of that for Asia, too.”

  Brian nodded, made his way to the office door then disappeared to stuff his face and quench his thirst.

  Sean resumed his typing once more, then paused, his deliberating thoughts dipped in annoyance and sinking in budding anger. His jaw twitched as he bit down on the side of his mouth, attempting to pacify himself to no avail.

  I’ve really had about enough of you. Yeah, you come on over. It’s time we squash this once and for all…

  *

  Jackson unzipped his dark gray wool coat and swallowed something green and sticky that refused to go down easy…jealousy. He’d made peace with the whole thing after speaking to Treasure, having a heart-to-heart, but then his insides turned hot and fiery once he learned of their nuptials. He’d resigned himself to the fact that he’d not be invited, and he was correct. Moreover, he knew his attendance would do nothing but throw salt in his damn wound. He’d won the Leary case, but celebration was fleeting. He and Brian were growing a bit closer, though the boy was still cautious around him. Regardless, progress was in fact being made.

  He hated himself for his confusion and continued frustration. When he received the call that his last alimony check was being sent, he realized he was finally off the financial hook. However, instead of rejoicing, he felt a sting in his heart. In some ways, the flow of money kept him connected to her, an unbroken line could have gone on, without stopping. The fucker she’d entered holy matrimony with then turned around and paid off the damn mortgage loan, leaving him nothing but his children…and he felt so guilty when he played those words back in his mind.

  …Nothing but my children?

  And now here he stood, looking at the bastard who’d ruined his second chance. The man was built like a brick wall, his big presence filling the massive kitchen. DMX’s, ‘Here Comes the Boom’ pounded out from the speakers, and the stainless steel appliances picked up the hues of clothing and skin tone of the beast before him. Sean pushed the button on the blender, causing the powder in his protein shake to spurt and spin about until it was completely absorbed in the Blue Diamond almond milk he’d emptied inside of it a moment or two earlier. He stood there in a pair of black jogging pants, his big, long feet far apart as he made himself at home in the house that his ass shouldn’t have even been dwelling inside!

  Treasure and I selected this home!

  The guy seemed far too comfortable, moving about as if he owned the place…but now, he in fact did.

  “I hear you got a new job.” Jackson crossed his arms and kept his distance.

  “Yeah…” Sean replied over the buzz of the loud blender until it came to a complete stop. He removed the pitcher and poured the contents into a glass, then downed it in ten seconds flat. “So, what is it? What do you want?”

  The man made his way over to the kitchen table and plopped down in a seat. He looked up at Jackson,
his expression unmistakable. It reeked of annoyance, possibly even detestation.

  “I didn’t come over here to argue.” Jackson sighed as he leisurely strolled over to the table and sat across from him.

  “Good. Just in case, I asked Treasure to please leave with the children before you got over here. Once she heard you may come, she wanted to stay here and have it out with you but I insisted that if you did, they just step out and let us handle this. None of them need to see us goin’ at it like we did at your sister’s wedding. I was taking precautions.” The man drummed his fingers along the table, as if bored after making his declarations.

  “I agree. Look, Sean, I want to have a conversation with you, man to man. You’ve married my wife. I mean…” he clasped his hands and lowered his head, “my ex-wife.” He looked back up at him. “It’s done now.”

  “Yeah, it is.”

  “I can’t help how I feel. But I can help how I behave. I don’t have to like you, but I’m going to be honest with you. I do respect you.”

  “Oh, really?” Sean stared at him in disbelief, sarcasm etched on his face. “And why is that? What changed? You haven’t been respecting me.” The man sat back in his seat and folded his arms over his chest. “You haven’t been on your best behavior, treated me like an equal. You’ve called my house at late hours, pretending to want to speak to your children when you really wanted to talk to Treasure. You’ve been asking Brian and Asia things about our marriage… You want it to fail; you’re banking on it. Sorry to inform you but I’m in this for the long haul and you need to—”

  “Sean, Sean….you can stop right there.” He raised his hand, speaking calmly. “I know you don’t trust me because of the things I’ve said in the past and I’ve made it no secret that I wanted to attempt to repair my family, put it back together, but that doesn’t mean I’m not being sincere right now.”

  Sean kept silent, simply glared at him, his obvious suspicion written all over his face.

  “Jackson, you’ve done nothing but try to intimidate, alienate, hurt, argue, fight and control people in a situation that was never under your power. So you’ll have to excuse me if I take your peace offering with a grain of salt.”