Remembrance

by Danielle Steel

  “Serena … tell me … I swear I'll help you. But I have to know.”

  “There's nothing you can do. It's just that—” She paused and then blurted it out. “She hates me.”

  “That's ridiculous.” He smiled into her hair. “What makes you think that?”

  And then suddenly, for no reason except that she trusted him, she decided to tell him about the confrontation the night before, the awful contract, and finally the paper she had signed.

  “You signed it?”

  She nodded. “Yes. What difference does it make? If he leaves me, I don't want his money anyway. I'll take care of the baby myself.”

  “Oh, Serena.” He gave her a hug. “But that's crazy. You'd have a right to support for you and the child. And if he dies—” Serena stopped him with her eyes. She wouldn't even hear about it.

  Teddy wanted only to ease her pain. “He'd never leave you and the baby unprovided for. But what a stinking thing to do.” He stared miserably at Serena, “Welcome to the family, love. Sweet, isn't it? Christ.” He looked at her again and then put his arms around her. “Poor baby.” And then with a serious look in his eyes he looked down at her gently with an odd smile. “If anything ever does happen to him, Serena, and he doesn't have a will, I'll take care of you and your children, I promise.”

  “Don't be silly …” And then with a little shudder, “Don't talk about that.” She looked at him gently then. “But thank you.”

  “I do think you should tell Brad though.”

  “I can't.”

  “Why not?”

  “It would make him furious with his mother.”

  “As well he should be.”

  She shook her head again. “I can't do that, to either of them.”

  “You're crazy, Serena. She deserves it. That was a stinking, sick, rotten thing to do.” But he didn't have a chance to go any further, Brad had just opened the door and came in carrying a tray with three fresh cups of tea.

  “How's my wife? Any better?”

  “Much.” She answered before Teddy could. “And your brother is going to make an excellent doctor. He took my pulse and just from that, he told me I was pregnant.”

  “What's the prognosis?”

  “At least twins. Possibly triplets.”

  But Brad could still see that his brother was worried, and despite the bravado and the gaiety it was obvious that Serena was still troubled. A moment later, when she went to the bathroom, he looked at Teddy. “Well? Do you think I should call the doctor?”

  “You want to know what I think? I think that the minute Greg marries that little bitch tomorrow, you two should get the hell out of New York and go somewhere healthy and pretty and just take it easy. She's been through a lot just getting here, from what you've said, and from what I gather from her. Just get her out of New York, away from the family, and go relax with her somewhere before you settle down in San Francisco.”

  Brad looked thoughtful. “That might be good advice. I'll think about it, Teddy.”

  “Don't think about it. Do it. And my other advice is not to leave her alone here for a second.”

  “You mean in New York?” Brad looked surprised.

  “I mean even in this apartment. She needs you every minute. She's in a strange country, with strange people, and she's more scared than she lets on. Besides which, she's pregnant, which is emotionally difficult for some women in the beginning. Just be there with her, Brad. All the time. I think that's what happened today. She just got upset, and you weren't around to turn to.”

  It sounded unusual for Serena, but Brad was willing to buy it. She had certainly fallen apart radically that morning in his absence, and there was no other way to explain it.

  “What are you two plotting?” Serena emerged again with a suspicious look directed at Teddy, but from the look in his eyes and the obvious calm on Brad's face she knew that he hadn't betrayed her.

  “I was telling your husband to take you on a honeymoon right away, like tomorrow.”

  “I don't think I'm eligible anymore.” She looked at her stomach and pretended to pout and her husband pulled her toward him and sat her on his lap.

  “You're going to be eligible for a honeymoon with me for the next ninety years, lady. Would you like that? I thought Teddy had a good idea.” She nodded slowly.

  “Don't you want to stay here?” She looked thoughtful as she asked him and he shook his head.

  “I think we'll both have had enough by the wedding.”

  “Why don't you think about it before you decide.” But Teddy burst into the conversation with a direct look at Serena.

  “I think it's bad for you to be here, Serena. You need fresh air and rest, and you won't get that in New York. How about it? Are you going?” He looked at them both and Brad laughed.

  “Christ, one would think you're trying to get us out of here.”

  “I am. I have friends coming to town next week, and I need the guest room.” He grinned impishly.

  “Where shall we go, Serena? Canada? The Grand Canyon? Denver on our way west?” None of it was familiar to Serena, but Teddy looked at Brad thoughtfully.

  “What about Aspen? I spent a few weeks there, visiting a friend last summer, and it's fabulous. You could drive there from Denver.”

  “I'll check it out.” Brad nodded, and then looked at his wife. “Now, let's settle something else. I want you to stay in bed tonight for the rehearsal dinner.”

  “No.” She shook her head quietly. “I'll come with you.”

  “Shouldn't she stay in bed?” Once again the elder brother turned to the younger, and both were amused.

  “I'm not a doctor yet, B.J., but I don't think she has to.” He looked quietly at Serena then. “But it might be a lot smarter.” He knew that she would know what he meant. But suddenly Serena knew that she would not give up another battle to that woman. She had got at least one of her papers signed and she was assured that Serena would not leave Brad and attempt to run off with the family fortune, but as for the rest of it, she would not be beaten yet again. If they hated her, she had to learn to live with it. But she wouldn't be shunned and forced to stay in her room like some dismal little mouse whom everyone had rejected. They thought that she was a tramp and a harlot and a maid and Lord knew what else, and if she didn't show up, everyone would think that Brad was ashamed of her. Instead she would go, and stand at his side, and make everyone look at him with envy. Her eyes danced as she thought about it, and she looked at her husband and her brother-in-law with a look that managed to combine both mischief and hauteur.

  “Gentlemen, I'm coming.”

  23

  When Serena came down the stairs of the apartment before the rehearsal dinner, it was easy to believe that she was a principessa. For the glimmer of an eye, even her mother-in-law looked slightly awed. She was wearing a shimmering white silk dress, woven with threads of gold, draped over one shoulder and falling in a gently draped cascade of shimmering folds. The dress fell straight from her shoulder to her feet, and didn't show her slowly enlarging waistline. She looked like a goddess, as she stood beside her husband, with a white flower in her hair, gold sandals on her feet, and her lovely face made up to perfection.

  Teddy whistled and even Greg looked more than a little stunned.

  The group left together a few minutes after they had assembled in the front hall, the three brothers, their parents, and Serena. Pattie and her parents were meeting them at the club, where a private room for the rehearsal dinner had been arranged.

  The groom's mother was wearing a floor-length red satin dress with a little cape in the same fabric, which she had ordered from Dior, and her white hair looked startling in contrast, as she swept into the car, with Greg and Teddy on either side. Her husband chose to sit on one of the jumpseats in the limousine, and Brad and Serena sat in front, which at least kept Serena away from Margaret, a fact for which Teddy was thankful, as he attempted to maneuver things that way from the first. He had promised himself that he would do a
ll he could to make Serena's evening bearable. Since her husband didn't know what agony his mother had caused, the least Teddy could do was be there for her. Serena was deeply grateful to him once again, as their eyes met, and she knew he understood and would not betray her. It was extraordinary to realize that she had only finally met him the day before and they were already fast friends. It was as though he were her brother too, and always had been, as she glanced into the backseat and caught his eye and he grinned at her.

  “Flirting with my brother?” Brad whispered it in her ear in the front seat and she shook her head with a little grin.

  “No. But it's like I have a real brother.”

  “He's a good kid.”

  “So are you.” She beamed up at him, and he kissed her gently on the tip of her nose, as she wondered if his mother was watching. It was odd, and unpleasant, to think of oneself always observed, always hated, always resented, even now that she had signed one of those papers. It was incredible to think that that woman had actually tried to get her to sign a paper giving up not only her husband but her child as well. She grew quiet again as she thought of it.

  “Are you feeling all right?” Brad was quick to ask her.

  “I'm fine. You don't need to worry. I'll be fine tonight.”

  “How do you know?” He was only half teasing.

  “Because you're here.”

  “Then I'll see to it that I am every minute.”

  But later in the evening, that was less easily arranged. His mother had placed him at a table with the rest of the wedding party, and since he was the best man, he was sitting on Pattie's left, and Teddy was also at the same table. Serena was put at a table with several older couples and a number of very homely girls, all of whom had known each other for years and spoke almost not at all to Serena. And she couldn't even see Brad or Teddy directly from where she was sitting. She felt as though she were stranded in the midst of strangers, and where he was sitting, Brad felt exactly the same way. He was particularly annoyed at the seating, which had been arranged by his mother. Sitting him next to Pattie seemed a tactless thing to do, but traditionally, as he was the best man, no one could really find fault with his sitting next to the bride. The maid of honor was seated next to Greg, and all of the other bridesmaids and ushers were seated down the sides of the table. On the whole it was a very convivial evening, and Brad managed to talk a great deal to the girl on his left, a tall girl with red hair who had gone to school with Pattie at Vassar, and she had just returned from a long stay with friends in Paris, so at least they had something in common and something to say. She had also spent several years in San Francisco as a child, so she knew that city, and she told him some of the things she thought he needed to know before moving out there, about parts of town that were more or less foggy in case he didn't want a house on the base, ideal spots to spend a day on the beach, places to fish, favorite parks, wonderful places to go with children. None of it was very serious conversation, but it gave them something to talk about and it relieved him at least of having to talk to Pattie, until he suddenly found himself alone with her right after the dancing started, the redheaded girl having been claimed by the usher on her left, and Greg having gone off with the matron of honor. It left Brad, next to Pattie, with almost all of the others on the dance floor, and it suddenly seemed very uncomfortable to be seated next to her alone.

  He glanced to his right, and found that she was looking at him, and somewhat ruefully he smiled at her, trying not to think of what had happened in Rome. “Looks like we've been deserted.” It was a dumb thing to say, but he couldn't imagine what to say to her. She turned her little heart-shaped face toward him, her mouth in a familiar pout.

  “Does that bother you, Brad?”

  “No.” Which was a blatant lie. He was finding it damn awkward.

  She sat there as though expecting something from him, like a kiss or an arm around her shoulders. Everyone knew that they had been engaged the year before, and now suddenly here she was, about to marry his brother, and they were sitting alone at the main table, side by side. Everyone must have been wondering what they were saying.

  “Don't you want to dance, Brad?” She looked at him petulantly and he blushed and nodded quickly.

  “Sure, Pattie. Why not?” At least she wasn't making a scene, or reminding him of what had happened between them. He stood up next to her chair, took her hand, and they went directly to the dance floor to dance a merengue. She was an expert dancer, and he was suddenly reminded of their nights at the Stork Club, when he'd been on leave after the war, and a little drunk on the excitement of Pattie. She was a damn pretty girl, but in a whole other style from Serena. Serena had elegance and grace, a face that people turned around to look at, and a kind of perfect beauty that took one's breath away. Pattie had something very warm blooded and sexy about her, until one knew her well, and then one knew that beneath the cuddly mannerisms lay a heart of ice. But at any rate she was a good dancer, and she was about to become his sister-in-law, so he was making the best of their moments on the floor. The merengue led into a samba, which became a fox trot and eventually a waltz, and no one seemed to change partners, so neither did Brad. He kept her out there, much to her delight, and when the waltz became a tango, they stuck with it, until finally Pattie looked at him with her Kewpie-doll smile, fanning her face with her hand.

  “Aren't you ready to die from the heat?”

  “I'm getting there.”

  “Want to get some air?”

  He hesitated for only a fraction of a second, and then felt that he was being unnecessarily ungracious. What was wrong with going out for some air, after all? “Sure.” He glanced over the dance floor, looking for Serena, but he couldn't find her. So he followed Pattie out of the private dining room and down the stairs to the street, where the June air was almost as hot and heavy as the hall.

  “I'd forgotten how well you dance.” He looked at her as he took a cigarette from his gold case, Pattie glanced at it, and then at his face quickly.

  “There's a lot you've forgotten about me, Brad.” He said nothing to her in answer, and she reached for the cigarette he had lit, took a long drag, and then put it back between his lips with traces of her deep cherry lipstick on it. “I still don't understand what you did. I mean why?” She looked straight at him and he was sorry they had come out for air. “Did you do it just to get at me? Was that it? I mean, why her? She may be pretty, but she's nothing. And how long will you want that, Brad? A year? Two? And then what, you've ruined your life for that little harlot?”

  He was about to go back inside, but he stopped dead in his tracks at her words, and his voice was like ice when he spoke to her. “Don't ever say anything like that to me again, you little bitch. From tomorrow on, for better or worse, you and I will be related. You'll be my brother's wife, and I'm still not sure what that means to you, but from where I sit that means that I'll do my damnedest to respect you.” He exhaled his cigarette slowly, and looked down at her with displeasure. “That, however, is going to be quite a challenge.”

  “You didn't answer my question.” She looked suddenly angry, and the pout had become more of a sneer. “Why did you marry her, Brad?”

  “Because I love her. Because she is a remarkable woman. Because she's special. And dammit, what business is it of yours?” He didn't have to explain anything to Partie. “Speaking of which, I might ask you the same thing. Or more to the point, do you love Greg, Partie?”

  “Would I marry him if I didn't?”

  “That's an interesting question. You might try answering that one too. Or is it just the family name you wanted, and one Fullerton is as good as another. Was Teddy next in line?” Suddenly, as he stood there, he realized that he hated her. She was spoiled, strident, and vicious, and he wondered now how he had ever even considered marrying her.

  “You're a son of a bitch, do you know that?” She narrowed her eyes and stood glaring at him as though she would have liked to slap him.

  “That's a
ll you deserve, Partie. You sure as hell don't deserve my brother.”

  “That's where you're wrong. I'm going to make something of him. Right now he's nothing.” For a horrifying instant she sounded like his mother.

  “Why don't you just leave him the hell alone?” Brad's eyes blazed into hers. “He's a decent guy. And he's happy as he is.” Or was he? Would he be drunk all the time if he was happy?

  “Greg needs direction.”

  “Toward what? A political career he doesn't want? Why don't you just stay home and have kids, instead of pushing him?” But at his words something ghastly happened to Pattie's face and she grew pale.

  “That's not in the cards.”

  “Why not?” Brad watched her eyes, there was something strange there that he didn't understand.

  “Your brother can't have children, Brad. He had syphilis when he was in college, and now he's sterile.” For a long moment Brad was shocked into silence.

  “Do you mean that?”

  “Yes.” There was something deeply unhappy in her eyes. “But he didn't bother to tell me, until last month, when everyone knew we were engaged. And he knew that I wouldn't go through another broken engagement. Christ.” She laughed a brittle little laugh. “Everyone in town would laugh till their sides split, poor little Pattie Atherton, dumped by another Fullerton.”

  “That's not the same thing.…” Brad reached out and touched her arm. “I'm sorry, Pattie. He should have told you before. That was a lousy thing to do.”

  “I thought so too.” And then in a soft distant voice. “He'll pay for that in the end.”

  “What the hell do you mean?” Brad looked shocked.

  Shr shrugged. “I don't know.” And then she looked up at Brad, with a grim little smile. “I wanted to marry him to get back at you. I guess you could say I used him. But the funny thing is that he used me. He got the last laugh. He got me to say I'd marry him, and then he tells me he's sterile a month before the wedding.”