I Can't Let Go

by Chenell Parker

  “What does that have to do with you? You can let her spend time with her father and come back home to your man,” he argued.

  “That’s not happening. My daughter just met her father for the first time ever. Now, I know him very well, but to her, he’s still a stranger. Until she gets to know him a little better, I’m not leaving her here alone.”

  “Are you sure that’s the only reason why you want to stay?” Hassan asked.

  “Have I ever given you a reason to question my fidelity to you?” Kimora countered.

  “No and I’m sorry baby. I know that you would never do anything like that to me. I just miss you,” Hassan said.

  “I miss you too. I’m gonna try my best to work out a schedule with her father so that I can come back home as soon as possible,” Kimora promised.

  “Please do. I love you baby. Call me before you turn in for the night.”

  “I will and I love you too,” Kimora replied before she hung up.

  It was a little after seven and it was dark outside. She needed to get back to Prince’s house since that was where all of her and Santina’s things were. She didn’t know where they were gonna sleep but she at least wanted to have something for her baby to take a bath. As soon as she walked into the house, she heard Santina laughing. When she walked into the living room, she shook her head when she saw Ced on all fours giving Tina a pony ride.

  “Don’t try to play my baby with this low budget stuff. Your daddy gon’ buy you a real pony if you want one,” Tino laughed.

  “We need to go by Prince to get her some clothes,” Kimora said.

  “Noooo, I don’t wanna leave,” Santina whined.

  “Let her stay here Kimora, please. We have more than enough room. You can stay too,” Val offered.

  “We still have to get clothes and stuff,” Kimora noted.

  “Let’s hit up the mall before they close. We got a little time,” Tino said as he checked his watch.

  “I’m coming,” Val said as she got up to get her purse.

  “I guess I’ll come take that ride too.” Ced shrugged. He already had two grandsons but Santina was his first granddaughter. He was excited but not more than his wife and son.

  Since his truck was bigger, they all piled into Ced’s Suburban and headed to Lakeside Mall. Tino was talking all that shit about her being on her own, but he cashed out on Santina and Kimora too. They had more than enough of everything, and Val gave them one of the closets in the spare bedrooms to store it all. They ate dinner while they were out, so Kimora took a shower while Val gave Santina a bath. She wanted her granddaughter to sleep with her, but Tina wasn’t quite ready for that yet. She climbed into bed with Kimora and was asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. Kimora talked to Autumn and Prince for a while, telling them both about what happened. Prince was happy that Tino finally knew about his daughter. That was the only thing that was keeping Kimora away and he wanted his best friend to move back home. He knew that Kimora was still worried from Tino being shot but that was years ago. Whoever did it were probably long gone or dead by now.

  “Is she sleeping?” Tino asked as he opened the bedroom door and peeked inside.

  “She’s knocked out. Are you about to go home?” Kimora questioned.

  “Nope. I want my face to be the first one that she sees when she wakes up in the morning,” Tino replied as he walked into the room and closed the door.

  “What are you doing?” Kimora asked when he laid down in the bed and got under the cover.

  “Sleeping next to my daughter. Since she wants to sleep next to you, you’ll just have to deal with it. And tell that nigga not to be blowing your phone up all night. My baby is sleeping and I’m tired,” he yawned, making Kimora shake her head and laugh.

  She silenced her ringer and turned over before drifting off to sleep right next to the two loves of her life.

  “ I love you friend, but I have to keep it real. You know I tend to mind my business, but I have to speak up this time. I love Tino too, but you take entirely too much shit off him. He’s not doing no more than what you allow,” Zoe said as she talked on the phone with Venus.

  “Usually, I would be agreeing with you but not this time. I’m really worried Zoe. He told me that some shit came up and he would tell me about it later. That was two days ago, and he hasn’t answered his phone since then. He hasn’t been home because I’ve been there several times,” Venus noted.

  “Yeah and neither is his car. That nigga is just fine,” Zoe pointed out.

  That was the one part that had Venus perplexed. Tino’s car had been there the entire time he was in Miami because Venus had been to his house a few times when he was gone. When he didn’t come to her house or answer his phone after the first night, she went to his house and his truck was gone. Venus didn’t want to believe that Tino was laid up with another woman, but she didn’t know what to think.

  “What if something bad happened?” she questioned Zoe.

  “Nothing bad happened Venus. Dirty handles all the business now anyway. What did he say when you called him?” Zoe asked.

  “You know how Dirty is girl. Yes and no are the only answers he gives. He won’t elaborate beyond that. I’m about to go swing by Val and Ced. I don’t know why I didn’t think to go over there first.”

  “Bitch, you better not go over there on that dumb shit. You already know how Val is,” Zoe fussed.

  “Fuck Val! Nobody ain’t going to her house with no bullshit.” Venus frowned.

  Venus was loud and Zoe was happy that her husband wasn’t right next to her at the time. He and his brothers didn’t play when it came to their only sister.

  “Just wait until Saturday. I’m sure he’ll be at the family dinner since it’s at his mama’s house,” Zoe said.

  “What family dinner?” Venus asked.

  “Oh, um nothing. Never mind,” Zoe replied nervously.

  “No, you’ve already said something about it! Don’t try to backpaddle now!” Venus yelled.

  “Shit! Miguel is gonna kill me. Please don’t say nothing Venus but I thought you might have already known. Mateo is flying in with their mother and everybody is meeting up by Val’s house. I thought this was something that they been planned.”

  “If they did, I didn’t know anything about it. It’s all good though. I’m over going to places where I’m not wanted,” Venus assured her.

  “Tino was probably going to tell you. Just give him time. Please don’t mention it to him first,” Zoe begged.

  “I won’t Zoe. You got my word,” Venus promised.

  “Come on baby. Pick one and let’s go,” Venus heard Miguel say in the background. He and Zoe were out shopping and her sister had their kids.

  “Can I get both?” Zoe asked.

  “Yes baby, whatever you want,” Miguel answered.

  He was the perfect husband and Zoe was lucky to have him. She had a fine ass husband with money who spoiled her rotten. And if that wasn’t enough, he was faithful too. Venus had never heard about Miguel running around on her friend. If he was, he was doing a great job of covering it up. The one night that Venus decided to take a break from the club and Zoe hit the jackpot. She met Miguel when she went to the bar to get a drink and they had been inseparable since then. Zoe didn’t even have a shape back then. She was pencil thin with barely a handful of ass. Having her kids gave her a few curves and Miguel paid top dollar for the rest. Venus was sure that if he’d seen her first, she would have been the one that he chose but things didn’t work out that way. Once Venus saw how he catered to her friend, she made it her life’s mission to find her a man just like him. Not just any man though. She wanted a man with Lopez blood flowing through his veins.

  “I’ll call you later Zoe,” Venus said after a while.

  “Okay boo,” Zoe replied.

  When she started giggling at something her husband said, Venus hurriedly hung up the phone. They were disgustingly happy, and she wasn’t in the mood for that. Venus turned onto Val’s stree
t and she got angry as soon as she did. Tino’s car was parked in his mother’s driveway but that wasn’t all. He was standing out front talking on his phone like he didn’t have a care in the world. He was all smiles until Venus pulled up and hopped out of the car.

  “Aye, let me get at you a little later,” Tino said to whoever he was on the phone with.

  “Yeah, tell that hoe that your fiancée just pulled up,” Venus snapped.

  “Chill out with that shit Vee,” Tino replied.

  “Don’t tell me to chill out when you haven’t been home or answering your phone for the past two days!” Venus yelled.

  “You better lower your damn voice. Don’t be trying to bring all this drama to my mama’s house. I told you that some shit came up and I would get at you later,” Tino fumed. The way he disregarded her feelings had Venus heated.

  “What could have possibly come up to make you ignore me for the past two days?” Venus asked.

  As if on cue, Val’s front door opened and Kimora walked out and onto the porch. One of Venus’ worst nightmares was coming true and she felt like she was about to start hyperventilating. The thought of her man staying out all night to lay up with his ex never crossed her mind. She would have preferred him to backtrack with Marisa before he did it with Kimora.

  “Hey Venus girl. You look great. You don’t even look like you’re fifty.” Kimora smiled as she waved at her.

  Venus wasn’t even forty yet but, just like always, Kimora enjoyed getting under her skin. Admittedly, Kimora was a little salty about seeing her there. She didn’t expect Tino to remain single when she left. She wasn’t expecting him to get back with Venus either.

  “Come down the steps and say that shit, so I can lay you the fuck out,” Venus threatened.

  “I’ll pass. I respect my elders and I don’t fight senior citizens.” Kimora smiled.

  “Y’all chill out,” Tino said while trying to hide his smile. Kimora always did get under Venus’ skin and Venus always let her.

  “Wow. Is this what was so important that you couldn’t pick up the phone?” Venus asked. And once again, the front door opened to reveal yet another surprise.

  “Daddy, can we go get ice cream?” a little girl walked outside and asked.

  Hearing her call him daddy went right over Venus’ head. She was too busy staring at the pretty little girl who looked like an identical version of her man. Everything about her was all Tino and no one could dispute that.

  “Later Santina,” Kimora replied, making Venus gasp in shock. Even her name was a duplicate of her father’s and Venus was sick to her stomach.

  “Let me talk to you right quick,” Tino said as he walked down the stairs and up to Venus’ car. He got inside and she followed his lead.

  “What the hell is going on Tino? You out here hiding kids and shit now,” Venus snapped as she turned to face him.

  “You sound crazy as hell right now. It won’t ever get that real. I didn’t even know about her until two days ago,” Tino replied.

  Venus listened as he told her how he saw Kimora and his daughter in the airport when he came back from Miami. She was sick to her stomach to know that the woman who once held his heart now had an even bigger piece of him. She couldn’t compete with Kimora before and she knew that she couldn’t do it now that a baby was involved.

  “So, she just pops up out of the blue with a baby that she claims to be yours. Are you even sure that you’re the father?” Venus asked.

  “Stop reaching Venus. I saw the way you just looked at her. You know she’s mine just as well as I do. She looks just like me,” Tino said, calling her out.

  He had Venus right because she did stare at Santina a lot longer than she should have. The nerve of that bitch Kimora to stay gone for so long, only to pop up with a damn baby.

  “Now what?” Venus asked him.

  “What you mean, now what? I have a daughter now Venus. I’m gonna handle my business like I’m supposed to. I missed out on almost four years of her life. I’m not missing out on anymore. If I have to catch a flight to Carmel a few times a month, then so be it. I’m about to get some shit at my house, so she can spend time there with me too,” Tino answered.

  He had already booked an Airbnb that wasn’t too far from where Kimora lived. She was planning to go back home soon, and Tino was flying out with her. He was serious about spending time with his baby. It didn’t matter where she was, he was going to be there too.

  “I guess that means that Kimora will have to be there too,” Venus said while rolling her eyes.

  “I’m not even about to start this with you. Kimora is her mother so, yeah, she’ll be around too. I’m being straight up with you right now Vee. I don’t have anything to hide.”

  “Yeah, I guess that’s why I had to hear about the family gathering from Zoe.” Venus frowned. She didn’t care that she was breaking a promise to her best friend. She needed answers and she needed them now.

  “That wasn’t on me though. My mama wants Tina to meet everybody and she put that together at the last minute,” Tino pointed out.

  “When do I get to meet her?” Venus asked.

  “Soon,” Tino replied as he grabbed her hand and kissed it. He was still getting to know her himself, so he wasn’t rushing to introduce her to Venus.

  “What about Saturday? Am I invited or is it just for family?” Venus inquired.

  Tino took too long to answer and she felt her temperature rising. She thought back to some of the things that Franco had said to her, but she didn’t want to believe that he was right.

  “Never mind. It’s obvious that I’m not welcomed,” Venus snapped in anger.

  “Just sit this one out Vee. I’ll let you meet her soon, I promise,” Tino replied.

  “Whatever Santino. That bitch left you for dead and you’re already trying to brush me off for her,” Venus said while shaking her head.

  “Man, that shit is in the past Venus. No matter how I feel about Kimora, the fact remains that we share a child. This shit ain’t even about me and her. She got a man and the only thing between us is Santina,” Tino replied.

  Hearing that Kimora had a man made Venus feel a little better. She was hoping that she and Tino could co-parent without feelings getting involved but she wasn’t so sure. She saw how hard Tino loved Kimora when they were together. She also saw how much he grieved for her when she left. She was the one who was there to pick up the pieces. Losing Tino to Kimora a second time would break her, and she was sure that she couldn’t go through that again.

  “How long are you gonna be here?” Venus asked.

  “I don’t know. I’m gonna come chill with you for a little while before I leave though,” Tino answered.

  “Leave to go where?” Venus asked.

  “I’m going to Carmel for a few days. And before you ask, no, I’m not staying with Kimora,” Tino replied, easing her mind.

  “I miss you baby. I haven’t seen you since before you went to Miami. Can we do dinner and a movie tonight?” Venus asked as she pouted.

  “Yeah, we can do that. Just find a movie that starts after nine. I want to put Tina to be first. Call me and let me know,” Tino said as he kissed her lips softly before exiting the car.

  Kimora was still sitting on the porch talking on her phone. Venus made sure that her man went inside before she pulled off and drove away. As soon as she turned the corner, she pulled over and dropped her head on the steering wheel. She pulled her phone from her purse and dialed Zoe’s number. She knew that she was with her husband, but she really needed her best friend.

  “Why couldn’t she just stay away?” Venus cried as soon as Zoe answered the phone.

  “What’s wrong Venus? Why couldn’t who stay away?” Zoe asked in confusion.

  Venus calmed down a little and told her friend about what had just happened. Zoe obviously hadn’t heard about it or she was doing a great job of pretending. Just like always, Zoe was there to console her friend and offer some words of encouragement. After talki
ng with her, Venus felt better and she was ready to have a date night with her man. His feelings for Kimora had obviously changed. After all, he was leaving her behind to go spend time with Venus. That was all the reassurance that she needed.

  Hassan was pissed but he did a great job of concealing his emotions. It was two weeks before Christmas and Kimora was on some bullshit. It was never a question of where they would spend the holidays before but, now, she was claiming to be undecided. Suddenly, everything about Carmel was a problem. She always did complain about the food and attire but, now, every little thing about Indiana annoyed her. Although Carmel had been named the best place to live in the United States more than once, Kimora didn’t see it that way. The crime rate was exceptionally low, but she was in love with a place where multiple crimes occurred every day.