Fatalism

by LK Collins

  “I’m sorry I wasn’t here for you sooner,” he said.

  I looked into his eyes. They had so much care and compassion in them. “It’s okay. You didn’t know this would happen. How did you know something was wrong?”

  “You said that I would see you this morning, and when you didn’t show up for the meeting, I panicked. It’s not like you to no call, no show. When I called you, your phone went straight to voicemail, so I came here to make sure you were okay. Lex, I can’t be without you anymore. This last week has been a living hell. You and I are meant for each other, and I’m not going to give up on that. I fucked up. I should’ve talked to you before I told Liam and C.J., but damn it Alexa you’re mine, and I want the whole world to know that. There is no one else out there for me. And Angela, she’s a fucking psycho. She called me when I moved out here, and said her boyfriend left her. She wanted to get back together with me. I told her that she and I were done. I met someone else, and I said that you are the only one in the world meant for me. I haven’t spoken to Angela since that call.”

  “I don’t know what to say or how to respond to all of that. When I saw you yesterday, you looked great. You seemed so rested and happy. How could you have been in pain? And if you were in pain, what kept you away from me for those three days? It killed me to not see you, but it also killed me when I finally did see you.”

  “Baby, the only reason I’m rested is because Abel forced me to go to the doctor on Monday. I was put on a sleeping pill, and between him and my dad, they’ve been babysitting me, ensuring I take the medication the doctors prescribed. I literally slept for three days straight, and when I woke up, I had to see you. It killed me to be away from you. You have to know that.”

  “It killed me just as bad, Vincent. What’s happening between us it isn’t natural. The connection I feel is so strong that it scares the shit out of me.”

  “I know. I feel the same way, but we’ll figure it out. It’s not a bad thing to have a connection like we do. Please just give me another chance. I promise, I won’t let you down. I know I said it once, but no matter what happens this time, we’ll make it through together. I love you Alexa, more than anything in this world. I cannot live or breathe without you.”

  As much as I knew I needed to push him away to keep from ever hurting again, I couldn’t. Being with him for half a millisecond was worth the risk of my heart being ripped out of my chest every day for the rest of my life.

  “Vince, I love you too more than you know. I have been dying to say those words to you. To be honest, I have loved you since the night I fell into your arms.”

  He sealed his lips around mine, and our mouths molded together. It felt as though there hadn’t been a lapse in time. The feeling of kissing him was indescribable. I missed it more than I had even known possible. Vincent kept the kiss sweet and tender, never forcing anything, just allowing our lips to do as they pleased while we stay pressed together. When he stopped, I looked deep into his beautiful hazel eyes. I knew in that moment, that I would fight to make things work.

  He smiled at me. “You have the same look in your eyes as you did the night I met you. I’ve missed seeing that sparkle in your eyes.”

  I gave him a small smile. Butterflies raced in my stomach as I was wrapped in his arms.

  “Don’t get shy with me, Lex. You’re sitting naked in my arms. Speaking of which, we should get you dressed before Bridgette and Cara get here.”

  I went to stand but he gripped me tighter to him and stood with me in his arms. He sat me on my bed and went to my dresser, pulling out my favorite sweats and one of his t-shirts.

  As I dressed myself, he watched me intently and said, “God, I fucking love you so much.”

  I smiled at him as my heart began to race. “I love you more.”

  The front door opened, and I heard Bridgette crying. This was my turn to be the big sister I was meant to be. I needed to be strong for her. She, unlike me, didn’t have anyone to turn to. I thankfully had Vincent, and I was grateful, now more than ever, for that.

  We went into the living room, and my little sister was a mess. She looked awful. She had dark circles under her eyes, her hair was a stringy mess, and her make-up was smeared. Her eyes glazed over: puffy, swollen, and red. I ran to her and wrapped her in my arms. She sobbed, and so did I. I never wanted to see my sister in this much pain. I know that I didn’t have a good relationship with my mother, but she on the other hand was extremely close with her. She loved her unconditionally, even with her crazy moods.

  I walked us over to the couch, and we sank into the plush fabric. Vincent and Cara went out the front door together, I assume to give us some time alone.

  “Bridgette, I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you.”

  “It’s okay. There was nothing that you or anyone else could’ve done. She was strong and thinking back on things, I feel like deep down, she knew something was going to happen.”

  A cry escaped my throat. I thought of my last interaction with her, seeing the hatred she had towards me in her eyes. I didn’t think losing her would hurt, but it did. Little did I know that would be that last time we would ever see or speak to each other.

  The weekend was exhausting, to say the least. I was drained physically and emotionally. Although I had managed to take a few naps and was finally able to sleep through the nights, I was still bone tired. I had Vincent to cuddle me as I fell asleep, listening to his breathing. He’d been amazing, taking care of us girls and making sure we had what we needed. I had even managed to eat a little food.

  He called the funeral home and arranged for them to pick up Vivian as well as discussed what Bridgette’s wishes where for the service.

  Cara and Bridgette were asleep upstairs as I sat on the front porch, enjoying one of the last warm nights of the summer. I looked to the stars and took in a breath of fresh air. Vincent came outside and sat behind me, wrapping his large frame around me. He rested his chin on my shoulder, and his feet were on the stairs next to mine.

  “What are you thinking about, babe?” he asked.

  “About Vivian and how horrible I feel for not mourning her death. It hurt at first, but now it’s like that pain is gone and I feel bad.”

  “Baby, you shouldn’t feel bad. That woman was nasty to you for your entire life. She not only mistreated you, but she was verbally abusive until the day she died. You can’t help how you feel, she made you feel this way.”

  “You always know what to say. Thank you for making me feel better.”

  I turned to kiss him, and he cupped my face with one of his large hands. Pressing his soft lips against mine, I closed my eyes and got lost in our kiss.

  Fuck. I overslept again. Vincent’s whole body was draped over mine, and he was sound asleep, which I knew was something that didn’t come easily to him. His head rested in the crook of my neck with his arm and leg thrown over me. He looked as peaceful as ever. I didn’t want to wake him up, but I needed to so we could get to work. I turned my head to get a better glimpse of his face. His lips were parted as tiny breaths escaped them. I ran my fingers over his mouth, and he began to stir, moving slightly but ultimately just holding onto me tighter.

  “Good Morning,” I said in a hushed voice while gently kissing him.

  He blinked a few times and closed his eyes tight. I couldn’t help but giggle at him. Who was the grumpy one now? I stroked his hair and wrapped my free arm around him. He slid completely on top of me, finally looking at me with those alluring eyes.

  “Good morning, beautiful.”

  “We over slept again. I’m not mad, but we have to get to work.”

  He pressed his lips against mine and then got comfy, cuddling in the crook of my neck again.

  “No, we don’t. We’re not going anywhere. You’re taking the week off for bereavement, and I’m going to take it with you. So unless you have somewhere else to be, I’m perfectly happy right here in your arms.”

  My heart scrambled into my throat, he was incredible. I couldn�
��t believe he gave me the week off and was taking the time with me.

  I shook my head. “No, there is nowhere else I would rather be. Can we stay in bed all day?”

  He took my face in his hands, bracing his weight on his elbows at either side of my shoulders. Leaning down, so slowly, he pinned me with his gaze. A flame inside of me burst, and I needed him. Now. It had been too long and I missed him. Before I could get lost in a kiss with him, I wrapped my legs around his waist and grabbed his ass guiding him into my slick folds. Thankfully we were both naked, because had we been clothed and needed to take the time to get undressed, I may have perished. I moaned as he obliged and buried himself deep inside of me. I clenched my muscles tightly around his cock.

  “Fuck, baby. You’re so wet and tight. I’ve missed you so much.”

  I didn’t speak but squeezed him again.

  He groaned, “It’s been too long. If you do that again, I’ll come.”

  I tightened my pussy around him again and rocked my hips. We each exploded. It had been too long for the both of us. He threw his head back, biting his bottom lip and pumped long slow strokes of himself into me. I leaned up to suck on his neck and muffle my cries.

  Vincent didn’t stop moving after the trembles of our orgasms stopped. He continued to rub the inside of my pussy with a need and urgency that I missed. He kissed me, and I indulged in him. We didn’t stop or slow our movements as we loved one another. Our bodies worked together as they knew how to do so well.

  “I’ve missed your body,” he said.

  “I’ve missed you too babe. Will you let me on top?”

  A warm smile spread across his face. “By all means.”

  He instantly flipped us over. I loved controlling him and how comfortable he was with letting me. I stayed braced down so I was close to him. I didn’t want to be any further away than needed.

  I kissed his face, jaw, neck, ears, and chest. I ensured that my lips had touched every inch of his body. When I stopped kissing him, he leaned up and kissed my necklace.

  “I’m so happy that you’re still wearing this,” he said.

  “I’ll never take it off. I love it.”

  He gripped my ass, slowly guiding me up and down. The feeling pushed so hard inside of me that the pleasure took my breath away. We both moved like animals as our bodies loved one another, and I was close to coming again.

  “Vince,” I whispered.

  “Come with me, love,” he commanded.

  I crashed my lips into his neck to quiet my sounds and gripped his hair. We both came together, whimpering and groaning, pressed firmly against one another. His powerful movements below me slowed and I stayed on top of him. Like always, he didn’t force me to move to. I rested my head into his neck and relished the feeling of being relaxed. For the first time in over a week, I felt calm. I was where I was supposed to be. No matter what challenges we faced, we would do it together.

  “Can we stay in bed like this for the whole week?” I asked.

  “You have no idea how much I want to do that, but we can’t. I’m sure Bridgette and Cara are awake, and we have a lot to do for the service tomorrow. But I promise, we will not spend a moment apart. I might even hire a driver so I can have sex with you anytime I please when we’re not in bed.”

  I laughed at him, but deep down I knew he was serious. “I think I remember you saying that if anyone ever saw me naked you would, and I quote, ‘go ape shit on them.’”

  “You’re right. I did say that. But if I buy a limo and a driver, I could bury myself deep inside of you any time I pleased. Don’t tempt me.”

  “Trust me, Vince, I don’t doubt that you would do that, but isn’t it illegal to buy a driver?” I teased.

  “You know what I meant; hire one. I’m glad to see that your attitude is back and in full swing this morning. I’ve missed that mouth of yours. I wouldn’t have you any other way.”

  “Good to know, and in that case, I’m going to suggest that you make yourself useful and go get us Starbucks.”

  He kissed my nose. “It would be my pleasure, love.”

  I got out of bed and looked at Vincent sprawled out. He looked sexy as hell. His right arm was above his head, and the sheet was just across his waist. He watched me move around the room naked. I rummaged through my dresser for something to wear. I pulled on my navy blue cotton capris and a tan tank top. I blew him a kiss and headed into the living room.

  When I saw Bridgette and Cara I felt like I was making the walk of shame. They were on the couch, and I wondered if they had heard us having sex.

  “Good Morning, girls. How did you guys sleep?”

  “Good. How about you?” Cara asked.

  Before I could answer, Vincent came out of my room wearing only a pair of basketball shorts and a panty-dropping smile. His shorts hung low on his hips and his hair was a mess. He walked over to me, giving me a kiss on the nose.

  “Morning, ladies. Do you mind if I shower? Then I’ll go to Starbucks.”

  I nodded my head, unable to speak. His beauty mesmerized me.

  “Are you okay?” he asked.

  I nodded my head again, and he laughed. Leaning over me with his large frame, he rested his hands on my thighs and kissed me again. Without another word, he turned and walked back into my room to shower. His back muscles mimicked his movements as he strolled away. My eyes traveled farther down to his ass, and I couldn’t take them off of it. He was so yummy.

  “I’m sorry, girl, but that man is fucking gorgeous. I don’t care what he does, you’re not breaking up with him again,” Cara said.

  I laughed at her but knew it was true. “Well, good thing for you, he has a brother that is just as delicious and very single.”

  “He’s all yours, Bridgette. There is no way I would ever get involved with that douche waffle.”

  We all laughed at Cara’s blunt comment. “Douche waffle? Cara, really?” Bridgette asked.

  She shrugged her shoulders and said, “What? That’s how he acts.”

  “He’s a good guy. She’s just judging him because of his tattoos, and he’s really outgoing.”

  Cara’s phone rang, and she glared at me. She answered it and went out front.

  “I’m going to get in the shower real quick,” Bridgette said.

  “Okay, take your time.”

  I walked back into my room. Vincent had his back to me and was in the bathroom drying off from his shower. Damn. He looked absolutely edible. I sprawled across my bed laying on my stomach and stared at him as he towel dried his hair and then his body. He turned around, naked, and I had a grin on my face. I motioned with one finger for him to come towards me, and he did, dropping the towel on the floor. He walked with his usual confidence and authority. His beautiful cock was hard and ready for me.

  He stopped at the side of the bed, and I took him in my mouth without using my hands. I sucked up and down, swirling my tongue over the end as I pulled him out of my mouth each time. I moaned with pleasure and pushed him as far back in my throat as I could. He reached his hand into my hair, threading his fingers into it. He didn’t control my movements or push into me. He allowed me to love him with my mouth at my own pace, and I enjoyed every second of it. As I picked up speed, I felt his fingers twist in my hair. I moved fast and hard causing him to explode in my mouth. I swallowed quickly and continued to suck him up and down, lapping up every last drop of him. I looked up into his eyes, still holding him in my mouth.

  He smiled down at me, and I released him and sat up on my knees. He sat next to me and pulled me onto his lap. He kissed me on the forehead and rested his cheek against my hair.

  I took a deep breath enjoying the comfort of his arms. “I love you, Vince.”

  “I love you too, beautiful. I hate to tell you this, but I have to run home and grab a few things and then stop by the office.”

  “Do you have to go? You promised we wouldn’t be apart,” I said as I leaned into him and looked into his gorgeous eyes. I felt sick at the thought of hi
m leaving. For some reason, it felt like he was never going to come back.

  “As much as I would love to make you beg for me to stay, yes, I have to go. But you should know that your pouty face does things to me. I’ll only be a few hours. Enjoy some quality time with your sister. You guys can go out if you want or stay in, but whatever you decide, just enjoy being together.”

  He grabbed his wallet off of the night stand and handed me his black Amex card.

  “I can’t take your card again and keep spending your money.”

  “You can’t or you won’t? Baby, let me take care of you. I want to take care of you. Take your sister out: eat, shop, or do what girls do. I don’t care what that is, but the card is there for you.”

  “But Vince—”

  He cut me off. “No ‘but Vince.’ This isn’t up for discussion.”

  When I rolled my eyes, he kissed my nose and placed the card in my hand.

  “Why do you always get your way?” I asked.

  “Stop it. Don’t act like you’re not a little excited.”

  He was right; I was excited. Between my outrageous car payment, credit card debt, and the up keep on this town home, I was maxed out each month.

  I rolled my eyes again, and he pinned me down climbing on top of me. “Keep that up and see what happens to you next time.” I nipped at his nose and he shook his head at me. “Behave while I’m gone. I’ll be back soon.”

  He kissed me again and I clung tightly to him, I don’t know how I ever survived without him. There’s no one more perfect in this world for me.

  Bridgette was reading on the front porch when I walked Vincent out. I watched him climb into his sleek Porsche. I loved that car, and him in it, was a sight to be seen.

  I sat next to Bridgette and she put her book down.

  “How are you holding up, sis?” I asked.

  She took a deep breath before speaking. “I’m okay. As weird as that sounds, I feel like mom knew that it was her time to go, and she was accepting that it might happen.”