Shattered by Love

by C. A. Harms

  The moment we crawled into Riley’s car and she backed out of the lot, I let out a sigh of relief. I had no idea I was being so obvious until Riley laughed and Kate wrinkled up her nose. “Not you, too? I’m not that bad.”

  I laughed and hid my mouth.

  “Whatever.” Kate smiled and began looking through her millions of bags as we drove back to Riley’s apartment.

  Being around Riley and Kate and getting out of my apartment should have made me feel better. But the moment I entered Riley’s apartment, it hit me, because pictures sat around showing Max in the middle of all the others--his eyes holding that familiar heated sex appeal, and that damn smile. He is so much bigger than his brothers, thick and solid. He spends so much time working out and staying fit. He stayed committed to his body.

  Fighting my desire for him was hard, as I wanted him so much. I just knew that he couldn’t give me what I needed in return. It was never Max’s thing. He likes to be free, and that wasn’t something I could handle anymore.

  Chapter Eleven

  Max

  During the last week, I spent all my time setting things up for Kate and Carson’s wedding. They decided to have the ceremony in a local church, small and intimate. The reception was being held at the country club, compliments of Kate’s father. That guy had really done a complete turnaround. He was happy and pretty decent to be around, without his stuck-up bitch of a wife dragging him down. The dumb broad actually had the nerve to show up at the wedding with her nose up in the air. She didn’t last long once Kara laid into her. I’ve got to admit I never thought that girl had it in her, but damn she was brutal. She had every right to be, though, after what they had gone through recently.

  Other than that one small snag, the wedding went over without a hitch.

  Mason and my very pregnant sister-in-law were attempting to dance, but Mariah continued to butt her way in between the two of them. I laughed at the sight, because she was one determined little shit and she wasn’t giving in.

  I tugged on her little hand, pulling her toward me. “Hey Riah, how about you dance with Uncle Max for a little bit? I feel a little sad because I don’t have a pretty girl to dance with; do you think you can fix that for me, princess?” Her little eyes beamed, and damn if that shit didn’t make my chest swell. With her sweet little smile, she could melt your heart. The look of relief set on Kelly’s face almost made me laugh when I picked up Riah and turned away, giving them privacy.

  I spent the next half hour making Riah giggle as I sang the words to the songs, doing my best to swing her around the dance floor. With only one good leg, it was a little difficult.

  Eventually I made my way back to the table, joining Riley and Zander for a much needed drink.

  ***

  I sat watching Bree from across the room and it was killing me. I wanted to go to her. I wanted to wrap my arms around her and force her to listen to me. I needed to feel her close. I had been mentally punishing myself for weeks over the way I had treated her.

  My Dad told me one day I would wake the fuck up and hell if that wasn’t happening now. I regretted everything I ever put that sweet girl through. She never deserved it, she has always given her all, and I was the prick who kept taking without giving anything back.

  She looked beautiful, with her dark hair flowing down her back and over her shoulders. She was wearing a backless dress, the dark blue silk material clinging to her sweet curves. Bree is perfect, a gorgeous girl, and I let her go. I had been too foolish to admit that she was more than just someone to spend the occasional night with.

  But it was time I went after what I wanted for a change. It was time I let go of my ego and admitted that I fucking loved her. I have for quite some time. It was time to man up and show her how she deserves to be treated.

  I finished my beer in one quick gulp before pushing up from the table to stabilize myself. This fucking cast could not come off soon enough. “Where are you going?”

  I looked over to see Riley watching me closely.

  “I’m gonna go get the girl.” I winked and walked away, leaving a knowing smile on my sister’s face.

  I kept my eyes on her, her back still to me. She was talking to Lily and Kate’s sister, Kara. I was so glad the wedding was small. It was more personal and just their style.

  Lily’s eyes met mine over Bree’s shoulder and I smiled. I reached out my hand and gently brushed the hair from Bree’s shoulder, as I slid my hand around her waist, pulling her back against me. I could feel her take in a deep breath, and I silently prayed that she wouldn’t push me away. I took the opportunity to breathe in her sweet scent, before letting my lips rest just next to her ear.

  I slowly began swaying to the music. Neither of us spoke a word, as I just listened to the beautiful sound of her shallow breaths. She allowed me to hold her close and continue to rock from side to side.

  “I’m so sorry. I wasn’t good to you, Bree. I know I was an ass. I didn’t do right by you, all those times I pushed you away and pulled you back; it was so unfair and heartless. You have every reason to question my every move. I should have realized what I had when I had it.” I took in a deep breath and thanked god she hadn’t pushed me away yet.

  I expected her to tell me to get the hell away from her.

  “I’m just so sorry for everything I’ve ever put you through. You deserved better than I ever gave you, baby.” I took in another deep breath, running my next words over and over again through my head. Then I just went for it.

  Chapter Twelve

  Bree

  “I’ve missed you, Angel.” He whispered against my ear from behind. Chills broke out over my skin with the feel of his breath against my neck.

  I never turned to face him. I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to say what I needed to if I saw his eyes, his smile.

  “I’ve missed you too, Max, so much.” His hand slipped around my side as it came to rest on my lower stomach. “I can’t do it again. I can’t go back to the way things were. I’m sorry, I just can’t.” I took in a deep breath before continuing. “I deserve more Max, and I have to remember that. Missing you isn’t enough of a reason for me to settle. I need more.”

  His lips brushing against my temple had me on the edge of surrender. When he tucked his head into the crevice of my neck and lightly kissed my shoulder, my stomach tightened and ached. “What if I want more, too?”

  There was no hope this time. I turned and faced him, looking up into his eyes and trying to read him. What the hell was he talking about? “What?”

  Max rested his forehead against mine, closing his eyes tightly. “I know that in the past I never took the time to get to know you. I never asked the things I should have. That wasn’t fair to you.” He leaned back just enough to look into my eyes. “I wanna start over. I want us to get to know each other. I know it’s gonna take time, and I know it may be rough. We’ll fight and argue because I’m pigheaded and I need control.”

  He smiled and winked. The comment had double meaning, and I knew it. He was dominant in all aspects.

  “Why now, what’s different this time? How am I supposed to know that things won’t be the same, Max?” I still wasn’t sure this was real.

  “Nothing changed, Angel, you’re just worth more than I ever gave. You mean more to me, you always have. It’s time I pull my head out of my ass and show you just how much more.” He held my gaze without faltering. For the longest time, we stared at one another without speaking, until Tanner broke through the silence.

  “Dude, seriously, will you two just fucking make up already? You guys are driving me nuts with all this girly, lovey fucking dopey shit.” I heard what resembled a gentle growl from Max, and I placed my hand on his chest. He looked down at me and smiled.

  Licking my lower lip, I returned his smile. “Slow, we take things slow.”

  His nodded his head in agreement, his eyes never once leaving mine. “Does that mean I can’t kiss you?”

  I laughed lightly. “You better kiss me; k
issing is definitely mandatory.”

  Max widened his stance so his mouth was lower and closer to mine. “Thank god, because if you would have said no, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have listened anyway.” Before I could speak, his lips crashed against mine. This kiss was hungry, yet sweet. We stood in the middle of the room, with his family around us. No one else mattered at that moment because the second his lips touched mine, everyone else disappeared. Feeling his tongue trace mine sent chills throughout me. I had missed Max so much. I knew deep down I could be heading right back into the burning building, but I was lost. I had tried to move on and tried to get over him. The one problem with that task was that Max is unforgettable. He is addictive, and I was head over heels for him. I had no hope of survival without him in my life.

  Taking the time to really get to know one another is what we needed. Skipping over all of that was our mistake the first time. We just went straight for the sex and never stopped.

  It would be different this time, and I needed to walk into this with my eyes wide open and my heart guarded. Max had the ability to cripple me, and I had to be careful this time. I had to stand strong and remember that, if this was going to work, we had to be all in, both of us this time. It could no longer be one sided.

  Max pulled back, resting his forehead against mine once more, with his eyes closed. I waited quietly for him to speak, to give me a sign about what was going on inside his head.

  “Tomorrow night is my last night off before I go back to the firehouse. Will you have dinner with me? Just you and me, on a real date.” He opened his eyes and leaned back to look into my eyes. He skimmed his nose against mine gently before whispering his plea. “Please, angel.”

  “Okay.” I agreed with a slight hesitation. “I’ll have dinner with you.”

  This dinner would not lead us to my apartment afterward, naked and panting. I would not slip back into that with Max. If things were going to be different, I needed to make sure I kept Max at a distance, at least for a while.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Max

  You would think I was attempting to perform brain surgery. But no, I was standing in the florist shop staring at all the different arrangements of flowers. What the hell was wrong with me? They are just flowers dumbass, how hard can it be to pick out a bouquet? Aren’t they all the same?

  Pulling my phone from my back pocket, I dialed Riley’s number. After two rings she picked up, sounding a little winded. “Yeah?”

  “What kind of flowers should I bring? I’m standing here staring at about a million different kinds and I have no fucking idea which ones to get.”

  She laughed. “What’s her favorite?”

  I ran a frustrated hand through my hair and let my head sag forward. I was a total fucking douche…this confirmed it. “I have no idea, Ry. If I knew I wouldn’t be calling to ask you what to get.”

  Maybe this was why I never committed; this shit was stressful. I never took the time to get to know Bree. I never cared before about what she loved. I never worried about bringing her gifts or making her smile. She was always convenient, and that was the biggest dick move I had ever made.

  “Calm down, Max, just breathe.” I took her advice and took a relaxing breath. “Think about this,” she paused. “You have never brought her flowers; you have never made any type of romantic gesture. She is going to be so moved by the fact that you took the time to do it now. The last thought going through her mind will be, ‘I can’t believe he brought pink roses instead of red.”

  Riley was right. I was standing in the middle of a florist’s and my heart was racing. The damn thing felt like it was going to beat out of my chest. I hadn’t even made it to her apartment yet and a panic attack was about to take over. I just wanted things to be different this time, because she deserved better than I had ever taken the time to give her before. I planned to do everything I could to make this work…to make her smile.

  “Okay, I guess you’re right. Thanks, Ry.” I hung up and decided on an arrangement of hybrid lilies in light pinks. It was surrounded with daisies and a few random purple flowers mixed in. The arrangement was gathered in a glass vase with a white bow tied in the center.

  When I walked up to the counter, the young girl behind it smiled and her cheeks reddened slightly. “Lucky girl. These are beautiful.”

  I only smiled in return, thinking of Bree. “She’s a special girl, she deserves beautiful things.”

  The old me would have stood here and flirted with the young cashier. I wouldn’t have thought twice about how wrong that was. Tonight it never crossed my mind. All I wanted to do was get the flowers paid for and get to my girl.

  ***

  Pulling up in front of Bree’s apartment, I felt like a teenager on prom night. This shit was nuts, I had been here a hundred times, but this time it felt different. This time it meant so much more than just a hook-up. I was trying to be a different guy, a guy she could trust and maybe one day let back into her heart.

  After a few deep breaths, I grabbed the flowers from the passenger seat and made my way upstairs. Just as I was about to knock, the door came open and Ryan stepped out. He looked up and smiled.

  “Max,” he said and nodded his head. I returned the gesture and stepped aside to allow him to pass. “Treat her right this time, Max. I’m not sure her heart could take it if this thing between you two went to shit again. For some reason she can’t move on from you. I don’t like seeing her hurt.”

  “Don’t worry, man, I’m gonna make things right.” He nodded once more before turning and walking away.

  Just then Bree stepped into the open doorway and my heart raced once again. She looked gorgeous and all I could do was smile. She wore a tight little dress with only one sleeve. Her other shoulder was completely exposed, and the pink color of the material only made her naturally tanned skin seem darker. Her hair was pinned up on one side, flowing down over the other shoulder and across her chest. One side of her neck called my name and begged me to kiss it softly.

  “Are those for me?” She smiled sweetly, pointing to the flowers. I had forgotten about them once I saw the sexy as hell vixen standing before me. I fought against the threat of a raging hard on. It was becoming difficult to form words, so I just lifted the vase and held the flowers out toward her. “There are beautiful, thank you.”

  I observed as she turned around and placed the flowers onto the table, just inside the door. Eyeing the back of her barely there dress, I think I might have groaned out loud. The damn thing was backless and cut just above her very sexy little ass, with just a thin strap crossing in the center.

  Shaking my head lightly and remembering that I was not a horny teenager, I reeled in my sex- deprived mind and found my inner man.

  When Bree turned back to face me, I leaned forward and kissed her cheek softly. “You look gorgeous, Angel, but this dress of yours…” I let my fingers run over the bare skin of her exposed back gently. “It might cause some poor guy to get his ass kicked tonight.”

  I stood up straight and smiled when she cocked her eyebrow, questioning my comment.

  “You know that guys are gonna look. When they look, it’s only gonna cause my inner caveman to get pissed off. Those men gawking at you might lead to a brutal beat down.” She smiled and shook her head, just before leaning forward to brush her lips gently over mine.

  “Max, just because they look doesn’t mean they get,” she whispered.

  “Damn fucking straight they don’t get.” I gripped her hip tightly and pulled her to me. “I’m trying here, baby. I’m trying real hard to control myself, but this dress and you in it are making it real hard.” I licked my lower lip. “Real damn hard, Angel.” Just then her eyes wandered down lower, giving her the visual of exactly how hard it was.

  I couldn’t help but chuckle when her cheeks reddened and her eyes squeezed together tightly. I grabbed her elbow and led her out of the building, chuckling against her temple.

  We drove to the opposite side of town to a li
ttle Italian restaurant that Kate told me about. Carson had taken her there a few weeks ago and she loved it. I needed all the help I could get, because this whole damn dating thing was foreign territory. Bree deserved to be wooed and pampered. I wanted to make sure it was a good night, a great memory. She and I didn’t have many to share. and it was time that changed.

  The hostess approached us, eyeing Bree and then letting her eyes focus on me. “Good evening, do you have a reservation?”

  “Yes, Parks for two.” I watched Bree as she observed the hostess--the two of them quietly sizing up one another. I chuckled and pulled Bree in just a little closer, brushing my lips against her ear. I felt her shiver, and goose bumps broke out over her back.

  “Right this way.” The hostess led us toward a table near the back of the restaurant. It did not go unnoticed that she swayed her hips seductively to draw attention. The problem was that it only made the girl seem ridiculous. Did she really think that shit would work? I mean, here I am with a gorgeous girl and the hostess is laying it on thick.

  Once we were seated, I watched Bree from across the table. Her eyes followed the movements of the girl as she placed our menus on the table in front of us, her hand brushing mine and pausing for a second too long.

  I leaned back in my chair and looked up at the girl, her eyes holding a familiar flirtatious gleam I have seen so many times. I pointed toward Bree with my finger. “You see that beautiful girl right there?” The girl looked over at Bree and forced a smile, before looking back at me. “I am one lucky son of a bitch to have such a perfect, sexy and amazing girl. Don’t you think so?”