Lyfe Changing

by Desirae Williams

  ***

  I woke up breathless while left alone in a pool of my own sweat and desires. Damn, I thought. After sleeping peacefully for the past few weeks, my midnight lover had returned again in my dreams having his way with me any and every way he could. It had been a while since his last visit and this time felt more real than the last. It was not as often as usual but when I had it… I really had it. I stumbled out of bed and made my way to the bathroom.

  My hot and flustered body needed cold water immediately. As I wiped down my face and chest with a soaked hand towel, all I could do was feel his presence with me. I didn’t even have to turn around to know he was still there. The hairs on my neck raised when I started to feel his breathe on my skin. I closed my eyes and held onto the counter top to try and come to grips with reality for a moment. I finally knew I was alone again and took a reliving breath. I didn’t understand what the hell was going on. Why I kept having this fantasies. Was I just in need of male attention or was there a deeper meaning to these dreams? I smoothed my hair back and decided to head into the kitchen for some much needed coffee. The thought of being in bed again with him was much more than I could take for one night. I came into the living room and flipped through the channels and found an old feature film. It was one of my favorites, Mahogany, a big Diana Ross film from back in her heyday. It was at the bar scene where it was her first night to sing and she was nervous and uncomfortable.

  A shy soul who didn’t know what she was doing or why but had a passion to sing. Then one handsome stranger looks her way with his gorgeous face coming out of the darkness and into the light. He flashes that million dollar smile and steals her heart forever. I melted every time I saw that part where Billy Dee Williams makes his appearance, capturing every woman’s attention from the start.

  I often wondered would I ever meet a man that would make me feel like that, it turns out I had…two of them. It was so strange how Derrick and James were so different but could both make me feel so good and special like I was the only woman in the world. With James he was like a wish list of all the things you’re supposed to look for in a man. Good job, a lot of money, handsome, charming, pleasant, so on and so forth. I really enjoyed his company but I still didn’t feel all the way into him.

  With Derrick, he is all the things that smart women need to stay away from; Criminal record, multiple kids, multiple women, rude, slick, and everything else. Yet when I was with him I felt something so strong, so real that I couldn’t even comprehend it. Even with all that happened between us that night, I could only think about the good parts of our date; the intimacy, the connection, and the overall desire to be there with him. I lay down on the couch and tried to rest my troubled head…and could only wonder what tomorrow may bring.

  13

  Can’t turn away

  Destiny

  “Can you do it? Really? That’s great, I’m sure everyone will enjoy it…ok, thank you for your time.” I gently placed my office phone down and cheered. “Yes!” I squealed. It took many weeks and begging phone calls but I was able to get a performer for the charity ball. Anna Marie was a well know soul singer amongst urban society and it just so happened that she would be in NYC the weekend of the charity ball and somehow I got her agent to get her to perform for the night. I was in the middle of doing my happy dance when Marisol walked in.

  “Did I miss something she asked?” showing a confused smile. I chuckled at myself for a minute. “Oh yes…I got Anna Marie to perform at this weekend’s Charity Ball.” “No way?” Marisol asked astonished. “Yes…her agent just confirmed a minute ago.” We both jumped up and down like to teenaged girls at a Backstreet Boys concert.

  “Well the good news keeps on coming?” Marisol said giving me the I know something you might like to hear look. I stopped jumping around and eyed her playfully. “What do you know?” “I know that there is a handsome gentleman out in the lobby waiting to speak with you.” She said coyly. “Really?” I asked confused. James had no problem coming back to my office before, why would he wait out in the lobby now? I followed Marisol to the front desk and was shocked to see James was nowhere in sight…but Derrick was. He had a look on his face that I couldn’t read…it was not angry but it wasn’t happy either. Never the less he was just as handsome as I remembered him to be.

  With his hair slicked back once again exposing his handsome face, a red sweater and denim jeans. Marisol caught my fading smile and panicked. “Um is there a problem?” She asked wondering what to do. I looked away from him to her. “Um no…no problem. Why don’t you just take your lunch now ok?” Marisol nodded and hesitantly walked out of the building to the nearest cafe. Having had enough of the awkward silence between us…Derrick decided to speak up. “Hello Destiny…”

  He said in that deep sexy voice of his which had all the affect in the world on me. I looked at him sternly letting him now I was still upset with him from our date a few weeks ago. “Derrick.” I said brief and emotionless not showing any desire to converse with him any further...although my heart was pounding minute by minute. I couldn’t believe how excited I was that he was here. He chuckled at me knowing that I was giving him attitude, didn’t stop him for giving me that sexy stare of his trying to sway my anger. “You look good…” He said slyly. I nodded. “Well I do what I can for somebody in my age group.” Derrick’s slight chuckle turned into all out laughter as I stared at him pretending as if I didn’t find anything amusing. He sighed and rubbed his hands down his face in frustration.

  “You’re really not going to make this easy for me are you?” He said dejectedly. I rolled my eyes. “I’m not going to make what easy for you?” Derrick sighed again. “Look, one thing I hate doing in this world is apologizing even when I’m dead ass wrong…but Destiny I’m sorry….” I looked into his eyes and saw the sincerity and nodded, but it didn’t stop my raised brow from saying go on further with your apology. “My behavior on our date was rude and I want you to forgive my unpleasant actions.” I could tell he was trying to use proper sentences to mock me but hey an apology was an apology, so I continued nod and encourage him to elaborate. “The way I spoke to you was not appropriate and I didn’t mean to offend you.” Derrick rubbed the back of his neck feeling the frustration I was putting on him build up. “I keep thinking about you…”

  He said with an honest vulnerable look on his face that I had never seen on him before. I eased up repeating those same words in my head and loving how they sounded…I keep thinking about you. “You still thinking about me?” His question sounded more like a confident statement…something he already knew the answer to. I looked away from him trying not to make eye contact. “You may have entered my thoughts once or twice.” I lied, knowing that I had been thinking about him nonstop since our date. Derrick chuckled again. “Ok…ok.”

  We both shared a quick laugh at the whole situation, mainly how we got to this point. I brought my eyes back to his and was shocked to see him looking at me as if he were waiting for me to say something. “What?” I asked him confusingly. “Don’t you have something you would like to say to me?” He asked as if it was obvious. “Uh…no what do I need to say?” I asked him boldly. Derrick gave me a stern look as if he were annoyed having had enough of my childish antics. I decided to spare another insulting incident and cave in and apologize. “Ok I’m sorry for offending you as well. Happy?” Derrick nodded and leaned over the counter of Marisol’s receptionist desk and I came over and joined him.

  “What do you have going on here…with all shit lying round?” He asked in that blunt dialogue I just loved…not. “Um…I’m hosting this year’s charity ball. It’s where big business donates money to orphanages and homeless shelters.” I handed him a pamphlet explaining what the charity ball was all about. “Oh yeah…I heard about this. Pastor Wallace has been taking about it like crazy.” Derrick chuckled. “Oh Pastor Wallace…” I said looking up at him smiling. “I heard you were doing community service at his church. How do you like him?” “He’s a bit muc
h…but overall I do like the man.” I laughed a little enjoying the atmosphere around us. “I agree…it wouldn’t be a bad idea if you attended.”

  I told him sheepishly wondering if I jumped the gun too soon. Derrick shrugged while still looking at the pamphlet. “Well you never know…Mr. Lyfe loves supporting the kids.” I smiled at him. “Am I interrupting again?” Marisol asked as she came in the building holding coffee. Derrick and I broke out of our conversation and faced her. “No… we were just talking.” I smiled. Marisol kept smiling even though her eyes said she didn’t believe me. She quickly turned her attention to Derrick. “We never got properly introduced… I’m Marisol Destiny’s assistant.” Marisol extended her hand to Derrick eagerly. “Derrick…” He said shaking her small hand with his large one. Marisol gave him a little flirty smile letting him know she approved of how good he looked. Like the little nosy person she is, it didn’t take long for her to start the interrogation process. “So you and Destiny are…?” We both looked at each other then back to her not really knowing what to say. “Friends…” I answered for the both of us. “Were friends.” Derricked chuckled at my comment being that he knew as well as I did we were something but a friend wasn’t the correct term.

  He politely nodded and decided to leave before she burst out into more awkward questions. “Well I can see you ladies are busy, so I’m going to get out of your way. Destiny hopefully I’ll see you soon.” Derrick smiled at me as he turned to walk away. “Wait…” Marisol stopped him before he left. He paused and looked at both of us peculiarly. “Actually…we are closing up early today.” “We are?” I said looking at Marisol puzzled. She gave me a strained smile. “Yes…we are.” I nodded confusingly. “Oh…yeah.” “So I will lock up and I’m sure you two kids could find something to do.” Marisol said going behind her office desk collecting the keys to the gallery. I didn’t understand why I was going along with her little plan but something in me didn’t want Derrick to go either…not yet. Standing by the doorway he nodded somewhat aloof but overall pleased.

  “Ok…well I’ll wait for you outside.”

  “Ok.”

  I watched him walk out the double doors and breathed a sigh of relief. Marisol stood close, looking at me smiling. “Ok you mind telling me what that little stunt you just pulled was?” I asked her sternly. “Look boss, I haven’t seen you on a date in I don’t know how long…” She said as she put client files away and gathered her things…and mine. “Now out of nowhere you have two handsome studs chasing after your tail. I am doing you such a huge favor and you can thank me later.” Marisol grinned handing me my purse and coat. I turned to her and shook my head. “Listen he is just a friend…a friend that I haven’t seen in a while. So were going to do some catching up but that’s it.” She eyed me suspiciously. “Catching up huh? Is that what the kids are calling it?” I shook my head not wanting to divulge any further information. “Just lock up for me and enjoy your afternoon off.” Marisol nodded. “Will do.” As I walked outside Derrick was waiting for me holding the door to his truck open so I could get in. He stood watching me walk toward him as if he had been waiting for me all his life.

  The look in his eyes was very penetrating making my heart beat faster. Look this is just hanging out with a friend and nothing more. I told myself. There is nothing to be concerned about. I brushed against him as I made my way into the truck feeling the same friction I had once felt before when my skin made contact with his. It was electrifying. Closing the door for me Derrick came around the vehicle to the driver’s seat and strapped in. “So where to?” The air inside here was so thick with the heat between us I could barely breathe let along speak. “I guess dinner or something at Ellen’s Stardust.” Derrick nodded. “Ok.” He started up the engine and we made our way to the burger joint on Broadway. We took a seat near the window in the back. Conversation started off a bit slow with us but soon picked up as time passed. We began laughing, telling the same jokes, sharing the same stories, feeling that same connection we did from the first night we were together. “See…” I said sarcastically. “Aren’t you happy you finally manned up and apologized? Now you can see my pretty mug again.”

  “Oh please…” Derrick sighed. “I still can’t believe you made me give you that long ass drawn out apology. You would have thought I ran over your damn cat or some shit.” I laughed at his crude humor and he laughed too. Derrick’s smile somewhat faded though which puzzled me. “It’s crazy…any regular day of my life I would have never gone out of my way to apologize to anybody…and I mean never. But for someone reason it was as if…I needed to see you…” He paused for a moment. “I don’t understand why so don’t ask.” Derrick really looked confused and stressed. I instantly had compassion for him knowing what all he had been through. What I didn’t know was how to comfort him in his time of need. “Maybe it is because of the accident.” I suggested. Derrick turned his gaze to me not fully understanding. “I think it kind of bonded us in some crazy way. How have you been since?” I asked truly concerned. He sighed and shrugged again. “Shit…can’t complain…just glad I’m still here you know.” Derrick continued to stare at me as if he was searching for something…answers to all his questions. I faintly smiled liking the way our eyes connected. “I’m glad you’re here too.”

  I could feel those eyes of his pulling my body closer to him, drawing me in. My mouth watered as I could almost feel the softness of his lips…keyword almost. I instantly pulled back not sure if I wanted to go there with him again. Derrick picked up on my hesitancy. “What’s the problem?” He asked confused. “Do I have burger breath?” He breathed into his hand trying to check himself causing me to burst into a chuckle.

  “It’s not that it’s just…I don’t think we need to go there again.”

  “Why not? You still mad? I thought you forgave me for my actions and I forgave you for the things you said.”

  “Derrick I may not have liked the way I spoke to you but I meant what I said.”

  “So you still think I am trash but you meant it in a polite way.”

  “No…I didn’t say that.”

  “So what are you saying?”

  His voice got more aggressive than necessary. “I’m saying I have reason to be a little leery of this relationship…you have children with multiple women, your recovering from an accident, and to top it you have a gun charge on your record.” I blurted out, I felt like a dam that just had burst. “So excuse me if I am a little cautious.” Derrick looked away from me a moment and sighed until finally bringing his eyes back to mine. “Look Destiny I am not claiming to be the perfect man, in fact I am far from it but I know who I am and what I am bringing to the table. I am going to be honest with you and will never trick you or manipulate you into anything. So if you honestly feel that I am not worth your time just let me know right now.” He asked boldly. I looked away from him for a moment; I would be bold face lying if I said I didn’t want him. I just wasn’t sure if this could actually work. Derrick pulled my hands into his gently kissing the top of my skin. The feel of his lips on me was undeniable; I couldn’t even pretend it wasn’t good. I sighed for a moment and touched his face with my index finger. I guess there is no fighting this huh? I thought.

  Derrick

  Destiny and I arrived at her condo around midnight. Our entire evening together had been filled with a lot of laughter, passion and desire. I still wasn’t sure where our relationship stood but we both couldn’t deny the way we felt about each other. “Well this is my stop.” Destiny said finally breaking our silence. “Yeah looks like it is…When am I going to see you again?” I asked. She licked her dry lips and shrugged. “You have my number…use it.” I nodded. “Will do.” I placed a quick kiss on her before she slowly grabbed her purse and exited the truck. “Goodnight Derrick.” She said real sultry. “Night.” As she closed the door and walked up her building steps I stared her down hoping to convince her to come back inside and drive off with me.

  She ignored my pleas and sashayed ri
ght into the building. I shook my head not knowing how much of this cat and mouse game I could take. I forced myself to drive off and go home. I pulled off unto the main road feeling much better tonight than I had in weeks. Something about Destiny just made me forget all my troubles and focus only on her and it was a good feeling. So much confusion and stress seemed to be over powering me while I was trying to make this drastic change in my life, it was nice that even for a few hours I didn’t have to think about it for a while.

  I pulled off Fifth Ave enjoying the quiet and calm drive home when I noticed a pair of car lights that had been behind me for a while now. I looked into the review and couldn’t make out any faces but I definitely could see two husky men in both seats of the car. A slight chuckle escaped my lips. So tonight’s the night huh? I thought. I was wondering when Julio’s goons were going to make their appearance and they didn’t disappoint. I saw another dark car make its way into view and laughed. “It’s not going to be that easy bruh.” I smirked while gripping the steering wheel much tighter... Alright old boy let’s see what you can do.

  I abruptly switched lanes causing a panic in most of the drivers on the road. The two unmarked cars were sure to follow creating such an extreme commotion on the street. I quickly turned a sharp corner and made my way through oncoming traffic. I set them back a little but they quickly caught up. I turned into a back alley that I was familiar with during my younger days. I used to trick so many cops up all the time pulling these getaway moves on them.