Love Inspired March 2014 - Bundle 2 of 2: North Country FamilySmall-Town MidwifeProtecting the Widow's Heart

by Lois Richer

  “Cassie.” Rick rested his hand on her shoulder. “You don’t have to be afraid. God has His hand on that boy. I’ll be here if Noah needs me. Trust me.”

  Trust me.

  “Thank you,” she said with heartfelt gratitude.

  Part of her hated to leave. Questions about Rick plagued her. But another part of her was afraid he didn’t want anything more to do with her. The very idea filled her with sadness and she realized that Rick had become a large part of her world.

  Cassie felt Rick’s gaze follow her as she grabbed her bag. His hand covered hers as he took it from her and they headed out to the car with Michael and Laurel. Rick helped Michael into his seat and offered his iPod with music for the boy to listen to. Before he got into the driver’s seat, he leaned in to check on Cassie in the passenger’s seat. His face came so near to hers, Cassie had to force herself not to reach out and cup his cheek in her palm.

  Trust me.

  At the last second, Cassie touched his hand and leaned forward.

  “I do trust you, Rick.”

  His eyes blazed a brilliant jade-green. A smile stretched across his face. For a brief second, Cassie thought she saw sadness in his smile. Then he took her hand in his. “You won’t be sorry you did, Cassie.”

  She hoped not.

  * * *

  “We’ve had two storms in the two days since you left. Somehow you’ve managed to return before the next one hits,” Laurel informed her as she drove Cassie to Lives from the airport. “Michael comes back when?”

  “A week, maybe.” Cassie gazed at the beauty of the white landscape blazing in the winter sun. Funny how good it felt to leave Winnipeg. Funny how it felt as if she was coming home.

  Funny how much she wanted to see Rick.

  “That is, a week if he does okay on his new medication.”

  Cassie didn’t hear much of the rest of Laurel’s comments. She was too anxious to see Noah again, to make sure he was safe. To make sure Rick had kept his promise. So when they pulled into the yard she jumped out, grabbed her case and hurried inside Lives.

  As she set the bag in the foyer, she heard Rick’s voice in the family room. Her silly heart bounced with joy when she found him and Noah together, focused on a chessboard.

  “Hi, Mom,” Noah said. His smile flashed at her.

  “Hi, yourself.” She bent and hugged him, surprised that he not only allowed it but he returned it. Stunned, she stood back to survey him. Her son seemed calmer. Her eyes met Rick’s. Whatever wariness she’d seen in him before she left was gone now. “How are you, Rick?”

  “Getting beaten to a pulp by this guy,” he said with a growl at Noah. “Otherwise I’m fine. Michael?”

  “He’s on some new medication. Once he’s settled into it, he should start feeling better.” Cassie sat down. “And everyone else?”

  “Fine as frog’s hair, as an old friend used to say.” Rick kept staring at her, as if he couldn’t get enough of watching her. Cassie felt the same. Finally he broke the connection between them when Noah reminded him it was his turn. He moved his piece too quickly and Noah seized it, checkmating him. “See what I mean?” he groaned.

  “I keep t-telling you, y-you have to concentrate.” Noah rolled his eyes. “You always f-forget.”

  “Yes, I do,” Rick agreed, his gaze returning to Cassie.

  “Do you have homework, son?” Cassie asked. When Noah nodded she raised one eyebrow. Without a single argument, Noah rose, thanked Rick for the game then left. Cassie looked at Rick. “What have you done with the real Noah?”

  Rick shrugged.

  “I’m serious. It sounds like he’s stuttering less and he’s certainly less belligerent. No problems?”

  “Nary a one. We’ve been talking a lot. I think he’s begun to heal, maybe.” Rick smiled, then tilted his head to study her. “You look rested.”

  “I feel rested. Once I got Michael to the hospital, the staff took over. There were some long consultations with his doctors but other than that, I was free until the plane left today. I managed a little wool shopping.” Cassie chuckled when he rolled his eyes. “Because the two boxes I have in my room aren’t enough.”

  “Alicia will be glad. She’s sold out of everything you made. I guess that means you’ll be busy for a while.” Rick’s smile flashed again. “As if that’s anything new.”

  “Anything interesting happen while I was gone?” she asked.

  “Some of the kids who don’t want to sing in the choir asked if they can form a band. Kyle’s been encouraging it by pounding on a set of drums.” Rick rolled his eyes. “Lucy’s gotten on board, too, with her latest online purchase—used instruments from a school band.”

  “A saxophone?” she asked hopefully.

  “Not yet, but soon I hope. I’ve now got half the town’s adolescents nagging me to get the band started.”

  “You wanted youth participation, right?” she teased.

  His smile warmed her. It felt as if the part inside her that had frozen hard against letting anyone get too close had begun to thaw. Cassie could hardly believe it.

  “I have to make some calls. I’d better get going.” Rick led the way to the front door, and Cassie caught the scent of his aftershave. She found herself inhaling deeply.

  “I’ll be glad when Michael returns,” Rick said. “We’ve missed him. I don’t think the boys like the change. I guess most people don’t. They find it threatening.”

  Cassie frowned. Was Rick hinting at something?

  “I appreciate your help with the choir, Cassie. A lot.” He slipped his fingers into his leather gloves as if delaying looking at her.

  “And I appreciate yours with Noah. Did he tell you anything I should know?”

  “We mostly just talked.” Rick’s gaze slid away.

  “Well, thank you for doing that.” She kept her tone even, though something inside her went on alert.

  “You’re welcome.” Rick seemed mesmerized by the collage of Northern Lights photos hanging on the wall above her head.

  “Noah admires you,” Cassie murmured. “I think he’ll consider whatever advice you give him.”

  “I should go,” Rick said somewhat suddenly.

  “Wait.” Cassie’s bag sat in one corner, reminding her. “I brought you a present.” He raised his eyebrows. “Don’t get excited because it’s nothing big.”

  “You didn’t need to bring me anything,” he said quietly.

  “I was at the airport newsstand when I suddenly remembered all those newspapers you love to read. I know how expensive it is to get the big city papers here so I thought I’d save you some money.” She zipped open her bag and lifted out a thick roll, bound with two elastic bands. “These are the two most recent Toronto papers. I thought some of the stories might be of interest. I didn’t read them, though, so if they’re duds, chuck ’em.”

  “I’m sure they’ll make great reading. Thank you.” Rick sounded as if he was losing his voice. He accepted the roll as if it was hot, tucked it under one arm and put his hand on the doorknob.

  “Rick?”

  “Yes.” He finally looked directly at her. His green eyes swirled with thoughts Cassie couldn’t understand.

  “I just wanted to say thank you again for helping me realize I can trust you. It’s a relief to know that after—” She paused, inhaled and continued. “Well, after I didn’t think I could trust anyone. You’ve been so open and honest. That’s something new for me.”

  “Well, that’s...” He looked so uncomfortable with her praise, Cassie was about to ask him what was wrong when he exhaled deeply and said, “Cassie, I need to tell you—”

  The door opened and Laurel entered.

  “Hi. You’re leaving?” she asked Rick. When he nodded, she said, “Probably a good idea if you want to sleep at
home tonight. By the looks of it, this storm will be worse than predicted. The snow’s already started.”

  “Then I’d better go.” Rick paused. His gaze rested on Cassie for a moment longer. The hunted look she saw there confused her, but before she could ask, he pulled open the door and stepped into the swirling white world.

  The door closed behind him. A moment later they heard the sound of his snowmobile roaring away.

  “Rick wasn’t very talkative. Is anything wrong?” Laurel glanced at Cassie as she slipped out of her coat.

  “I don’t know.” Cassie excused herself, picked up her bag and carried it up to her room, unsettled by Rick’s strange behavior. She left her bag unpacked and sat down on her window seat as old uncertainties came rushing back. Maybe she’d done something to upset him.

  Her mind circled back to the newfound trust she felt for Rick. For the first time in a very long time, Cassie felt right about trusting.

  “Rick’s not like Eric and my father,” she whispered. “He’s generous and good. But—”

  And that was the issue. But what came next?

  Tired and confused, Cassie rose and unpacked. But she couldn’t dislodge the wobbly uncertainty in her stomach that something was wrong.

  * * *

  Rick raced away from Lives, his mind replaying Cassie talking about how trusting him had changed things for her. The roll of newspapers burned like a hot coal where it lay inside his snowsuit. When he got home, he dropped Cassie’s gift on the floor before shedding his outdoor clothes. He tried to calm the anguish her words had aroused, to no avail.

  You should have told her the truth. She deserves that.

  Yes, she deserved to know. But he needed privacy to tell her the whole story—how he’d renounced his old life of greed after losing money that belonged to her father and others, turned his back on wealth, dedicated himself to God and serving Him. He needed to explain those past mistakes.

  Rick tried to pray about it. But the only voice he heard inside his head reminded him, be sure your sins will find you out.

  The truth was he’d deliberately kept his secret. Because if he’d told Cassie, he knew she would refuse to let him help Noah. The boy was finally emerging from his bitterness. He couldn’t interfere with that just to appease his guilt.

  A knock on his door interrupted his self-condemnation.

  “What are you doing out in this weather?” Rick asked Kyle, drawing his friend inside and shutting out the snow.

  “You left Lives in a rush looking pretty grim. I was worried about you.” Kyle’s gaze fell on the roll Rick had dropped on the floor. “Are those new?”

  “Yes.” Kyle gave a whoop of excitement and began unrolling them. Rick headed for the kitchen. “I’ll put the kettle on—hot chocolate okay?”

  When Kyle didn’t answer, Rick turned. Kyle’s gaze was locked on a one-page ad in the newspaper. After a moment he raised his eyes to stare at Rick.

  “Yes. They’re rereleasing my book.” Rick swallowed.

  “Is that why you’ve been so out of sorts lately?”

  “Not exactly.”

  “What’s going on, Rick?”

  Rick took a deep breath and told Kyle about the strange connection that he and Cassie shared—that it was her father who’d saved Rick from the streets. And that Rick had gone on to lose all of her father’s money for him, which he felt had caused tension between Cassie and her father after Eric had died.

  “Does she know about this—?” Kyle flopped down, his eyes widening as he read the ad.

  “She knows that I know John, and that John saved my life. But she doesn’t know what I did to him. I was going to tell her the truth.” Rick held up his hand, forefinger and thumb millimeters apart. “I was this close. Then Laurel came in. It’s not the kind of thing I can explain in front of others,” he defended when Kyle frowned. “I need to tell Cassie the truth in private.”

  “You need to tell her the truth right away,” Kyle corrected. “She’s going to struggle with knowing that you played a bigger role in their estrangement and kept it a secret.”

  “I know.” Rick made the chocolate in two big mugs and handed one to Kyle. He placed his on a nearby table, unable to drink it.

  “The truth always outs, pal. Always.”

  “I know. It’s just hard to think of myself as that greedy jerk, even harder to explain it to someone else. Cassie’s father was the only thing between me and death so many times.”

  “Did you tell her that?” Kyle leaned back, his mug in his hand.

  “I told her some of it, but not all. After I hit bottom, Cassie’s father was the one who introduced me to the Savior.” Rick shook his head. “I’d never have made it but for John. I was hoping Cassie would see that maybe she misjudged her father, that maybe she didn’t know the whole story.”

  “And?” Kyle leaned forward.

  “I’m not sure. She hasn’t said anything about him for a while, and I haven’t wanted to bring him up, for obvious reasons.” He shook his head sadly. “The sad thing is, Kyle, John adored his daughter. He was so proud of the way she struggled to keep strong in her faith after her mom died. When I last saw him a year ago, I guessed there was some resentment between them, but I never imagined they would stop speaking.”

  “Money can do that to relationships. Sara told me Cassie’s dad calls every week but she mostly doesn't speak to him. That can’t go on.” Kyle tipped up his mug, swallowed the last of his hot chocolate, then rose. “For Noah’s sake, if not for her own, Cassie needs to rebuild that relationship. She might not admit it but she needs her father. You’re a minister. Your job is to help facilitate Cassie’s healing.”

  Rick hadn’t known about the phone calls, but now that he did, it only added to his guilt and fueled his determination to find a way to tell Cassie the truth.

  Kyle didn’t hesitate. He led out in a plea for God’s leading, direction, preparation of Cassie’s heart and for Rick to find the words he needed to say. Finished praying, he clapped a hand on Rick’s back. “I know this will be a delicate talk. She might be furious at you. Any number of things might happen. But don’t put this off, Rick. Tell her the truth. If you don’t, it will only get worse.” Kyle glanced at the newspaper and then at Rick. “There’s something else we need to discuss. Are you falling for Cassie?”

  Rick paused to consider his answer. The wind outside howled, rattling the windows with fury, causing a tinkling sound as it threw icy particles against the glass.

  “I care about her,” Rick admitted finally.

  “Care, how? Like a pastor? Like a friend? Or more than that?” Kyle rose. “You don’t need to tell me but I do think you need to figure out what you expect from her.”

  “I know.” Rick glanced out the window. “It’s gotten much worse out there,” he said. “Are you sure you can make it home?”

  “Are you kidding? I’ve been getting around Churchill since I was a kid. I could find my way blindfolded.” Kyle pulled on his snowmobile helmet. “Thanks for sharing,” he said, his voice muffled.

  “Thanks for listening. Have Sara call when you get home. I want to know I won’t have to go searching tonight.” Rick waited until Kyle nodded.

  “Such a worrier,” he teased. Then he yanked open the door and strode into the storm.

  Rick listened for the roar of the snowmobile’s engine, then closed the door. After Sara called to say Kyle was home safely, Rick turned off the lights, sank onto his sofa and stared into the storm that swept across the bay.

  “I care about her,” he whispered, looking toward the heavens. “A lot. More than an objective pastor should. But I know what I promised You. I’m not going to act on my feelings because nothing can happen between us and I don’t want to hurt her.”

  But Rick couldn’t see a way around causing pain to the woman he cared
about. In fact, after he told her that he was the reason her father had no money—either for her or for himself—it was very likely that Cassie Crockett would hate him.

  Rick tried to pray for strength and the right words to confess. But as the storm outside raged, all he heard was Cassie’s sweet voice, and those words that caused him to hang his head in shame.

  I trust you, Rick.

  Chapter Nine

  “Cassie this is stunning. I’ve never seen such creativity with yarn.”

  Alicia Featherstone lifted the piece Cassie had just finished, her fingers deft but inquisitive as she examined the sweater once meant for Eric. “Did you bring anything else?”

  “An afghan. I was inspired by the Northern Lights’ display we had a couple of weeks ago.” She waited anxiously while Alicia examined the throw. “Are they suitable?”

  “Suitable? They’re amazing.” Alicia tilted her head to one side. “Can you do some kids’ things?”

  “Sure.” Cassie looked into Alicia’s dark eyes and wished she could unburden her heart.

  “You seem troubled. Is something wrong?”

  “I’m just confused and mixed up.” Cassie prepared to leave, but Alicia persuaded her to stay and share a coffee at the tiny table in the rear of the store.

  “Please tell me what’s wrong. I’d like to help if I can.” Alicia handed her a steaming cup. “Is it Rick?”

  “Why do you say that?” Had everyone noticed that she couldn’t seem to stay away from him?

  “Just a guess. You help him a lot with the choir and now the band he’s started.” Alicia smiled. “Besides, he’s a very nice guy. I can understand why you’d care for him.”

  “I think I care,” Cassie admitted. “But I don’t really trust him. I want to but—” After a gentle prod from Alicia, Cassie poured out her story. “Dad, Eric, God—I feel like they all betrayed me and I don’t want to be tricked again,” she ended.

  “God will never betray you, Cassie. I don’t believe Rick would, either.” Alicia frowned. “I don’t know anything about relationships so maybe I’m off base, but it seems to me that it isn’t that you’re afraid to trust Rick. It sounds more like you don’t want to trust him in case you get hurt again.”