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Narrative Poems

Page 5

by C. S. Lewis


  19

  ‘Then one by one at random (no word spoken)

  We slipt out to the sunlight and away.

  We felt the empty sense of something broken

  And comfortless adventure all that day.

  Men loitered at their work and could not say

  What trembled at their lips or what new light

  Was in girls’ eyes. Yet we endured till night.

  20

  ‘Then . . . I was lying awake in bed,

  Shot through with tremulous thought, lame hopes, and sweet

  Desire of reckless days—with burning head.

  And then there came a clamour from the street,

  Came nearer, nearer, nearer—stamping feet

  And screaming song and curses and a shout

  Of “Who’s for Dymer, Dymer?—Up and out!”

  21

  ‘We looked out from our window. Thronging there

  A thousand of our people, girls and men,

  Raved and reviled and shouted by the glare

  Of torches and of bonfire blaze. And then

  Came tumult from the street beyond: again

  “Dymer!” they cried. And farther off there came

  The sound of gun-fire and the gleam of flame.

  22

  ‘I rushed down with the rest. Oh, we were mad!

  After this, it’s all nightmare. The black sky

  Between the housetops framed was all we had

  To tell us that the old world could not die

  And that we were no gods. The flood ran high

  When first I came, but after was the worse,

  Oh, to recall . . . ! On Dymer rest the curse!

  23

  ‘Our leader was a hunchback with red hair

  —Bran was his name. He had that kind of force

  About him that will hold your eyes fast there

  As in ten miles of green one patch of gorse

  Will hold them—do you know? His lips were coarse,

  But his eyes like a prophet’s—seemed to fill

  The whole face. And his tongue was never still.

  24

  ‘He cried: “As Dymer broke, we’ll break the chain.

  The world is free. They taught you to be chaste

  And labour and bear orders and refrain.

  Refrain? From what? All’s good enough. We’ll taste

  Whatever is. Life murmurs from the waste

  Beneath the mind . . . who made the reasoning part

  The jailer of the wild gods in the heart?”

  25

  ‘We were a ragtail crew—wild-haired, half-dressed,

  All shouting, “Up, for Dymer! Up away!”

  Yet each one always watching all the rest

  And looking to his back. And some were gay

  Like drunk men, some were cringing, pinched and grey

  With terror dry on the lip. (The older ones

  Had had the sense enough to bring their guns.)

  26

  ‘The wave where I was swallowed swelled and broke,

  After long surge, into the open square.

  And here there was more light: new clamour woke.

  Here first I heard the bullets sting the air

  And went hot round the heart. Our lords were there

  In barricade with all their loyal men.

  For every one man loyal Bran led ten.

  27

  ‘Then charge and cheer and bubbling sobs of death,

  We hovered on their front. Like swarming bees

  Their spraying bullets came—no time for breath.

  I saw men’s stomachs fall out on their knees;

  And shouting faces, while they shouted, freeze

  Into black, bony masks. Before we knew

  We’re into them . . . “Swine!”—“Die, then!”—“That’s for you!”

  28

  ‘The next that I remember was a lull

  And sated pause. I saw an old, old man

  Lying before my feet with shattered skull,

  And both my arms dripped red. And then came Bran

  And at his heels a hundred murderers ran,

  With prisoners now, clamouring to take and try them

  And burn them, wedge their nails up, crucify them.

  29

  ‘God! . . . Once the lying spirit of a cause

  With maddening words dethrones the mind of men,

  They’re past the reach of prayer. The eternal laws

  Hate them. Their eyes will not come clean again,

  But doom and strong delusion drive them then

  Without ruth, without rest . . . the iron laughter

  Of the immortal mouths goes hooting after.

  30

  ‘And we had firebrands too. Tower after tower

  Fell sheathed in thundering flame. The street was like

  A furnace mouth. We had them in our power!

  Then was the time to mock them and to strike,

  To flay men and spit women on the pike,

  Bidding them dance. Wherever the most shame

  Was done the doer called on Dymer’s name.

  31

  ‘Faces of men in torture . . . from my mind

  They will not go away. The East lay still

  In darkness when we left the town behind

  Flaming to light the fields. We’d had our will:

  We sang, “Oh, we will make the frost distil

  From Time’s grey forehead into living dew

  And break whatever has been and build new.”

  32

  ‘Day found us on the border of this wood,

  Blear-eyed and pale. Then the most part began

  To murmur and to lag, crying for food

  And shelter. But we dared not answer Bran.

  Wherever in the ranks the murmur ran

  He’d find it—“You, there, whispering. Up, you sneak,

  Reactionary, eh? Come out and speak.”

  33

  ‘Then there’d be shrieks, a pistol shot, a cry,

  And someone down. I was the third he caught.

  The others pushed me out beneath his eye,

  Saying, “He’s here; here, Captain.” Who’d have thought—

  My old friends? But I know now. I’ve been taught . . .

  They cut away my two hands and my feet

  And laughed and left me for the birds to eat.

  34

  ‘Oh, God’s name! If I had my hands again

  And Dymer here . . . it would not be my blood.

  I am stronger now than he is, old with pain,

  One grip would make him mine. But it’s no good,

  I’m dying fast. Look stranger, where the wood

  Grows lighter. It’s the morning. Stranger dear,

  Don’t leave me. Talk a little while. Come near.’

  35

  But Dymer, sitting hunched with knee to chin,

  Close to the dying man, answered no word.

  His face was stone. There was no meaning in

  His wakeful eyes. Sometimes the other stirred

  And fretted, near his death; and Dymer heard,

  Yet sat like one that neither hears nor sees.

  And the cold East whitened beyond the trees.

  CANTO V

  1

  Through bearded cliffs a valley has driven thus deep

  Its wedge into the mountain and no more.

  The faint track of the farthest-wandering sheep

  Ends here, and the grey hollows at their core

  Of silence feel the dulled continuous roar

  Of higher streams. At every step the skies

  Grow less and in their place black ridges rise.

  2

  Hither, long after noon, with plodding tread

  And eyes on earth, grown dogged, Dymer came,

  Who all the long day in the woods had fled

  From the horror of those lips that screamed his name

  And cursed him. Bu
sy wonder and keen shame

  Were driving him, and little thoughts like bees

  Followed and pricked him on and left no ease.

  3

  Now, when he looked and saw this emptiness

  Seven times enfolded in the idle hills,

  There came a chilly pause to his distress,

  A cloud of the deep world-despair that fills

  A man’s heart like the incoming tide and kills

  All pains except its own. In that broad sea

  No hope, no change, and no regret can be.

  4

  He felt the eternal strength of the silly earth,

  The unhastening circuit of the stars and sea,

  The business of perpetual death and birth,

  The meaningless precision. All must be

  The same and still the same in each degree—

  Who cared now? And he smiled and could forgive,

  Believing that for sure he would not live.

  5

  Then, where he saw a little water run

  Beneath a bush, he slept. The chills of May

  Came dropping and the stars peered one by one

  Out of the deepening blue, while far away

  The western brightness dulled to bars of grey.

  Half-way to midnight, suddenly, from dreaming

  He woke wide into present horror, screaming.

  6

  For he had dreamt of being in the arms

  Of his beloved and in quiet places;

  But all at once it filled with night alarms

  And rapping guns: and men with splintered faces,

  —No eyes, no nose, all red—were running races

  With worms along the floor. And he ran out

  To find the girl and shouted: and that shout

  7

  Had carried him into the waking world.

  There stood the concave, vast, unfriendly night,

  And over him the scroll of stars unfurled.

  Then wailing like a child he rose upright,

  Heart-sick with desolation. The new blight

  Of loss had nipt him sore, and sad self-pity

  Thinking of her—then thinking of the City.

  8

  For, in each moment’s thought, the deeds of Bran,

  The burning and the blood and his own shame,

  Would tease him into madness till he ran

  For refuge to the thought of her; whence came

  Utter and endless loss—no, not a name,

  Not a word, nothing left—himself alone

  Crying amid that valley of old stone:

  9

  ‘How soon it all ran out! And I suppose

  They, they up there, the old contriving powers,

  They knew it all the time—for someone knows

  And waits and watches till we pluck the flowers,

  Then leaps. So soon—my store of happy hours

  All gone before I knew. I have expended

  My whole wealth in a day. It’s finished, ended.

  10

  ‘And nothing left. Can it be possible

  That joy flows through and, when the course is run,

  It leaves no change, no mark on us to tell

  Its passing? And as poor as we’ve begun

  We end the richest day? What we have won,

  Can it all die like this? . . . Joy flickers on

  The razor-edge of the present and is gone.

  11

  ‘What have I done to bear upon my name

  The curse of Bran? I was not of his crew,

  Nor any man’s. And Dymer has the blame—

  What have I done? Wronged whom? I never knew.

  What’s Bran to me? I had my deed to do

  And ran out by myself, alone and free.

  —Why should earth sing with joy and not for me?

  12

  ‘Ah, but the earth never did sing for joy . . .

  There is a glamour on the leaf and flower

  And April comes and whistles to a boy

  Over white fields: and, beauty has such power

  Upon us, he believes her in that hour,

  For who could not believe? Can it be false,

  All that the blackbird says and the wind calls?

  13

  ‘What have I done? No living thing I made

  Nor wished to suffer harm. I sought my good

  Because the spring was gloriously arrayed

  And the blue eyebright misted all the wood.

  Yet to obey that springtime and my blood,

  This was to be unarmed and off my guard

  And gave God time to hit once and hit hard.

  14

  ‘The men built right who made that City of ours,

  They knew their world. A man must crouch to face

  Infinite malice, watching at all hours,

  Shut Nature out—give her no moment’s space

  For entry. The first needs of all our race

  Are walls, a den, a cover. Traitor I

  Who first ran out beneath the open sky.

  15

  ‘Our fortress and fenced place I made to fall,

  I slipt the sentries and let in the foe.

  I have lost my brothers and my love and all.

  Nothing is left but me. Now let me go.

  I have seen the world stripped naked and I know.

  Great God, take back your world. I will have none

  Of all your glittering gauds but death alone.’

  16

  Meanwhile the earth swung round in hollow night.

  Souls without number in all nations slept

  Snug on her back, safe speeding towards the light;

  Hours tolled, and in damp woods the night beast crept,

  And over the long seas the watch was kept

  In black ships, twinkling onward, green and red:

  Always the ordered stars moved overhead.

  17

  And no one knew that Dymer in his scales

  Had weighed all these and found them nothing worth.

  Indifferently the dawn that never fails

  Troubled the east of night with gradual birth,

  Whispering a change of colours on cold earth,

  And a bird woke, then two. The sunlight ran

  Along the hills and yellow day began.

  18

  But stagnant gloom clung in the valley yet;

  Hills crowded out a third part of the sky,

  Black-looking, and the boulders dripped with wet:

  No bird sang. Dymer, shivering, heaved a sigh

  And yawned and said: ‘It’s cruel work to die

  Of hunger’; and again, with cloudy breath

  Blown between chattering teeth, ‘It’s a bad death.’

  19

  He crouched and clasped his hands about his knees

  And hugged his own limbs for the pitiful sense

  Of homeliness they had—familiars these,

  This body, at least, his own, his last defence.

  But soon his morning misery drove him thence,

  Eating his heart, to wander as chance led

  On, upward, to the narrowing gully’s head.

  20

  The cloud lay on the nearest mountain-top

  As from a giant’s chimney smoking there,

  But Dymer took no heed. Sometimes he’d stop,

  Sometimes he hurried faster, as despair

  Pricked deeper, and cried out: ‘Even now, somewhere,

  Bran with his crew’s at work. They rack, they burn,

  And there’s no help in me. I’ve served their turn.’

  21

  Meanwhile the furrowed fog rolled down ahead,

  Long tatters of its vanguard smearing round

  The bases of the crags. Like cobweb shed

  Down the deep combes it dulled the tinkling sound

  Of water on the hills. The spongy ground

  Faded three yards ahead: then nearer yet

&nbs
p; Fell the cold wreaths, the white depth gleaming wet.

  22

  Then after a long time the path he trod

  Led downward. Then all suddenly it dipped

  Far steeper, and yet steeper, with smooth sod.

  He was half running now. A stone that slipped

  Beneath him, rattled headlong down: he tripped,

  Stumbled and clutched—then panic, and no hope

  To stop himself, once lost upon that slope.

  23

  And faster, ever faster, and his eye

  Caught tree-tops far below. The nightmare feeling

  Had gripped him. He was screaming: and the sky

  Seemed hanging upside down. Then struggling, reeling,

  With effort beyond thought he hung half kneeling,

  Halted one saving moment. With wild will

  He clawed into the hillside and lay still,

  24

  Half hanging on both arms. His idle feet

  Dangled and found no hold. The moor lay wet

  Against him and he sweated with the heat

  Of terror, all alive. His teeth were set.

  ‘By God, I will not die,’ said he; ‘not yet.’

  Then slowly, slowly, with enormous strain,

  He heaved himself an inch: then heaved again,

  25

  Till saved and spent he lay. He felt indeed

  It was the big, round world beneath his breast,

  The mother planet proven at his need.

  The shame of glad surrender stood confessed,

  He cared not for his boasts. This, this was best,

  This giving up of all. He need not strive;

  He panted, he lay still, he was alive.

  26

  And now his eyes were closed. Perhaps he slept,

  Lapt in unearthly quiet—never knew

  How bit by bit the fog’s white rearguard crept

  Over the crest and faded, and the blue

  First brightening at the zenith trembled through,

  And deepening shadows took a sharper form

  Each moment, and the sandy earth grew warm.

  27

  Yet, dreaming of blue skies, in dream he heard

  The pure voice of a lark that seemed to send

  Its song from heights beyond all height. That bird

  Sang out of heaven, ‘The world will never end,’

  Sang from the gates of heaven, ‘Will never end.’

  Sang till it seemed there was no other thing

  But bright space and one voice set there to sing.

  28

  It seemed to be the murmur and the voice

  Of beings beyond number, each and all

  Singing I AM. Each of itself made choice

  And was: whence flows the justice that men call

  Divine. She keeps the great worlds lest they fall

  From hour to hour, and makes the hills renew

  Their ancient youth and sweetens all things through.

  29

  It seemed to be the low voice of the world

 

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