Dirty Angel (The List #2)

by N. K. Love

  Beth’s moans of appreciation, which I’ve thankfully heard often, have been fucking distracting. I’ve tried to push them to the back of my filthy mind where they’ll stay until they decide to haunt me when I’m alone tonight… I say ‘haunt’, but ‘pleasure’ is probably more accurate.

  I completed my spinal work and repeated the techniques in the areas of concern whilst I decided on her treatment plan. Her shoulder and lower back will need more therapy if she’s to eradicate the issues long-term.

  Beth is obviously completely relaxed and utterly in the zone now, more than comfortable with my hands on her body. As am I, but my dick is understandably still confused as to why we’re not fucking yet.

  I follow my routine to iron out her back and end with more petrissage and my favourite feather light effleurage. As I finish, I take one last opportunity to admire the view, then slowly cover her with a towel.

  Pulling the curtain back around, I ask her to come out when she’s ready. I sit at the desk in the corner of the room to type out some notes and write down some exercises I want her to do at home. I give myself a mental pat on the back.

  When she pulls back the curtain I can finally see her face again. She’s got that satisfied just-fucked-glow accompanied by a shy smile. Now that look definitely suits her…

  “Jax, that was a-mazing! Why have I never done this before? Do you really think it’ll help me permanently?”

  “Eventually, yes. You’ve neglected yourself Beth. Why do you take the time to workout and maintain your commendable fitness but then neglect the basics of getting treatment when you’re in pain?”

  “I know, there’s no excuse, I’m such a dumbass. I’ve just gotten used to it over time I guess. When it comes on, I pop a few pain killers and ease off my cardio for a few days until the pain subsides. I suppose I’ve always been quick to prioritise other stuff before myself. But not anymore. Oh and Willow’s got me into yoga so that should help too shouldn’t it?”

  “If you keep it up, it’ll help, as well as doing these exercises at home every day. Just look these up on the internet and watch the demos, they’re straight forward. I’ll book you in with me for the same time next week. Hopefully you’ll see an improvement by then and we will concentrate on your shoulders more anyway.”

  I hand her the sheet and follow her over to the door, unnecessarily guiding her with my hand that’s instinctively drawn to that arch like a magnet. It’s like I’m eager to savour every touch until she disappears out the door into a cloud of the unknown. I’ve got to wait a whole week before I can touch her again—in real life anyway.

  This kind of attraction is almost foreign to me. This time with her has at least shown me exactly how restrained I can be when I need to. Having Beth alone in a room, on a bed, half-naked beneath my hands… Now that has got to be the ultimate test and I behaved well all things considered. I’m glad she didn’t bottle it. I’m glad she didn’t stay away.

  “Thanks for coming Beth.”

  She holds onto my forearm, leans up and unexpectedly plants her soft thick lips on my cheek. It sends me back to our farewell at Tricks. Our friendship has come a long way since then. Back then, her lips had basically just told me to ‘fuck off’ but right now, this kiss is full of silent promises.

  I inhale her familiar luxurious smell that evokes yet more memories. This time it’s of lap dancing, sexy texts, witty banter and smooth golden skin… As I try to remain composed despite her oblivious attack on my senses, my Little Miss Contradiction manages to throw me off guard once more by suggestively whispering, “Thanks for making me.”

  This girls got me so distracted I didn’t even notice I’d set myself up for that and Beth being Beth, doesn’t fail to optimise the situation in a battle of one-upmanship.

  She turns to walk off and I can’t help but pull her hand back as she steps through the door, flashing her a quizzical look. There’s some members chatting in the corridor so I keep my voice down. “You’ve got my number now. Use it, yeah?” She nods shyly, sliding her hand gently from mine. Then she casually turns and walks away. Leaving me reciting that overused but oh so relevant line; ‘I hate to see you go, but I love to watch you leave.’ Like a puppy pining for its owner, I wait in the doorway until she’s out of sight, my eyes stuck to her like glue. What the actual fuck!

  Reminded of Beth’s parting words they replay over in my head, which was likely to be her exact intention. Was she on about last night? How did I manage to let her get the upper hand again? I don’t know why it seems to matter but I’m curious to know if those messages last night did it for her, like they did for me—twice. Fuck, I need to get out of this place, go home and cook some food. Although I doubt I’m going to find anything suitable to fulfil my new Beth-shaped appetite.

  Beth

  I wave goodbye to Emma, walk out of the gym and inhale deeply, filling my lungs with non-Jax oxygen to help bring my feet back down to the pavement… It doesn’t work. So I float off to my car. Although the temperature has dropped, my body is on fire.

  The after-effects of his touch are embedded over every inch of skin. Every inch, especially in places he didn’t even touch.

  He certainly wasn’t exaggerating when he said that he is thorough. When he first touched me, he said he was going to just feel around and get to know my body. I was just thankful to have my face buried in the little hole in the bed. I kept digging my nails into the padded table just to divert my attention from turning everything he said into sordid dirty thoughts.

  I obviously tensed up but his professional expert touch soon washed away my lame defences. His attention to detail was impeccable; painstakingly searching out every area of trouble and working so thoughtfully. The fact that he made sure it wasn’t awkward was sweet but somehow backfired because I found his authoritative demeanour a fucking major turn on.

  Under different circumstances I could have completely let my mind follow my body on a cheeky trip to Comesville. That would’ve been a great initiation into Wills world of stealing free secret orgasms. Dammit! That would’ve also been another good one to have put on my list. I’ll have to remember that for the list’s sequel.

  Jax’s sweet strokes of his fingertips trailing down my back conflicted deliciously with his forceful kneading. It was so innocent but such a sexy turn on. One word; Foreplay.

  Although I still get shy around Jax, he teases out moments where I act on impulse, like kissing his cheek or dropping quirky one-liners. I relish every one of those moments like little gifts because they’re proof that, not only can I let myself go around him but I can also do and say the things I want to without feeling like I need to hold back. This is so novel to me because I’ve spent my life conditioning myself into quashing my sexual impulses, biting my tongue and curbing my desires.

  Inside the safety of my car, I put my windows down and lie back in my seat for a moment to cherish everything that’s just happened as I eagerly replay it. His huge strong, protective hands with the roughness of his skin at the base of his fingers; products of weightlifting I suspect. I swear his hand span nearly smothered my waistline. The dexterity of his fingers and especially his thumbs were so fulfilling I had to force myself to open my eyes more than a few times to bring me back to reality.

  My mind is still a mass full of contradicting whispers;

  Pursue him further.

  No I can’t handle it.

  I won’t know unless I try.

  I’ll be mortified if it went tits up.

  The last hour is more evidence of how he can undo me in minutes.

  Yes, but I did stay in control and I enjoyed it.

  Whatever anyway. My mind will have to work out a compromise because my body is already aching for Jax again and I haven’t even started the ignition.

  He’s told me that last night was just a bit of fun, so he isn’t expecting our flirting to lead anywhere, which means the pressure is off. So provided this remains the case, I reckon it’s still game on. Flirting—yes, fucking—no. />
  Decision made. We will find our flirty fun somewhere in the middle ground between fucking and fuck all, by mutual agreement.

  Okay, I’d better get home before I spontaneously combust. As I start the engine and put the car into reverse, I see Jax in my rear-view mirror coming out of 24/7. He walks across the car park to a black 4x4 with tinted windows. Nice wheels. He opens the back of the car and puts in his bag. Instead of shutting the boot straight away, he stands with his back to me with one hand on his hip, looking down. What is he doing?

  My phone beeps. I slide the gearstick back into neutral and grab my phone out of the holder.

  I’m really glad u came B.

  Butterflies send a lovely fluttering feeling all around my tummy. He is over there, thinking about me. I’m still on his mind. I smile at the mini victory of him taking the bait because I know he’s fishing for me to elaborate. After how magical my body is feeling, with my back still tingling, thanks to him, it’s the least I can do…

  Me too G… Then I had a great night’s sleep.

  Jax has shut the boot and he’s half-sitting in the driver’s seat with one foot still on the concrete, holding his phone.

  Sounds perfect. But I hope ur not texting & driving?

  No, I’m texting whilst perving on u. Nice car btw ;)

  Winky face right bakatcha. I slide down the upholstery and giggle like a little girl playing hide and seek. I peep in my wing mirror and see him scouting around the car park. Still undetected, he gives up and gets in his car.

  Stalkerish tendencies r a massive turn on 4 me B x

  Jax drives away so I leave it another minute and then follow suit, allowing myself to believe that things are looking up. I’m feeling more in control and nobody can shake this positive mood. Let’s hope I didn’t just jinx myself.

  Chapter Three

  Friday 10th April 2015

  This week has flown by.

  On Monday, Willow finalised her plans and booked a flight to travel over to Spain in the early hours of Saturday morning. It’ll be for a week. Mr Stryder was more than understanding of the short notice but she chose to swap as many as her shifts as she could to help him out, which also meant that she has had to work every night this week. But it’s kept her mind occupied.

  The flight is at 4:20am tomorrow morning so—typical of Wills—she’s decided it’d be a good idea for her to sleep today, go out for a few hours tonight and then get a taxi to the airport, bypassing the house to collect her suitcase.

  I thankfully received my final call from the clinic, giving me the all clear on my last result. That put the final nail in the whole split-condom coffin so I can bury it—deep—forever! Steve who, right?

  On Tuesday, Wills and I booked our places for the gyms annual bank holiday weekend away at the beginning of May. It’s an event the company holds for the top five performing 24/7 gyms to compete against each other. So our Birmingham gym has been performing against all the others across the country for the last month. They’ve taken the data from the cardio machines for usage time, calories burned, miles ran and rowed, steps taken, etc... They’ve held leagues for weightlifting, swimming and circuit work too. It’s all very organised and technical, they obviously take it very seriously. The good news is, they’ve ranked third place. Jax must be epically proud.

  The top five gyms are taken by the coach load to an event held in Devon. There’s fifty spaces per gym with the travel and accommodation all organised for us. We will travel on the Friday but the heats don’t start until the next day. It’ll be something to look forward to, giving me extra motivation to get beach body ready—or so Wills says.

  The gossip in the changing rooms this week tells me that most of the members are just going to ogle the half-naked bodies in the challenges and to party on the evenings. Not that I needed an ulterior motive but it certainly sounds like a great way to spend a long weekend to me! Let’s hope the sun is shining. Although I would like to see a list of the challenges because it’d be cool to actually contribute. I’m good with long distance running and swimming.

  The gym also confirmed that they’re going to throw a party to celebrate qualifying too, sweet!

  When I was telling my mom about it, she immediately offered to collect us on the Monday so we could extend the break further by staying with my parents, in St Ives, for a few more days and then catch the train home. I didn’t commit but it’s an open invitation so we can play it by ear. It would be lovely to see my parents and get a much needed mother-daughter hug.

  A few times during the week I’ve reminded myself of my list and the twenty-five items I still have to check off.

  Fuck It List

  1. Blowjob

  2. Handjob

  3. Cunnilingus

  4. Sex in a workplace

  5. Sex in a car

  6. Sex in the shower

  7. Multiple orgasm

  8. Get a tattoo

  9. Get a piercing

  10. Sex on the beach

  11. Phone sex

  12. Cybersex / Sexting

  13. Tantric sex

  14. Get stoned

  15. Use food / ice sexually

  16. 69

  17. Kiss a girl

  18. Tie somebody up

  19. Be tied up

  20. Watch a porno alone

  21. Watch a porno with a partner

  22. Do a lap dance

  23. Do a strip tease

  24. Sexual role-play

  25. Make a sex tape

  26. Sex outdoors

  27. Go to strip show / live sex show

  28. Be spanked

  29. Hit somebody

  30. Kinky sex

  The sexual items are all so appealing but whenever I imagine myself carrying any of them out, Jax is always there. Sometimes, I try and kid myself by not imagining the man’s head, but that’s pointless. There’s no question who the inked up, shredded body belongs to. I know I need to shake that feeling because it’s counterproductive and bordering obsessive. Maybe I need to find a new book boyfriend to focus my obsessions on for a while. That usually helps with satisfying unfulfilled sexual needs.

  Late Tuesday night, after I thought about Jax being in Devon, I sent him a text to let him know we’d be there. But when I didn’t get a response I did something irritating; I overthought. I imagined that he hadn’t replied because he was thinking that I was trying to put a claim on him for that weekend or something. I don’t want him to think that I have any expectations of him of any sort—I have hopes, but not expectations. That would put me on the back foot and make me feel like I’m hanging around for scraps of his attention. No thanks.

  Well, once I’d professionally blown the situation out of all proportion, I thought I’d make it better by following up with another dumbass message. I thought I’d try to play it cool and witty. I text; Ur not gonna turn into a green-eyed monster if I get with anybody whilst ur around r u?

  My logic told me 1. It’s good because he has beautiful green eyes 2. It’s relevant and makes my point and 3. It’s a question so hopefully he’ll actually reply this time…

  Hmm-nope! I regretted it as soon as I hit send and re-read it. My logic was way off. I sounded like an idiot fishing for reassurance. I thought he may let me off lightly though and say something sarcastic like, ‘the feeling’s mutual’—that’s what I would’ve said.

  But no, his reaction was actually harsh, he said; Beth, ur a good girl so I’m gonna try & b nice about this. We mean nothing 2 each other. U cud fuck a guy in front of me & I’d sit back & enjoy the show.

  It wasn’t quite what I was expecting, surely a smidgen over the top! What an absolute ass! I thought there’s no way he was being serious because I certainly wouldn’t like to watch him have sex with somebody else and I wouldn’t say that he means nothing to me either. I consider him to be a friend now and I care about my friends.

  I considered not responding but sent one anyway; Ok, I can c playful Jax isn’t around atm so I’ll try again so
me other time… mayb.

  I avoided the temptation to end it with ‘you dick.’ Unfortunately being mean doesn’t come as easy to me. Sheesh! It just made me think that I was stupid to feel like either of us has any allegiance to the others’ feelings.

  To throw me back off track again, the unpredictable man decided to randomly call me late last night. I was lying in bed reading, desperately hoping this fictional alpha was going to be the one. I freaked out when I saw it was him calling. What could he possibly have to say to me after that text? I decided to woman up and answer rather than bury my head in the sand and avoid him.

  When I heard his deep, sexy voice, every fickle nerve-ending in my body stood to attention. I transported him into my bed beside me. Jesus I am weak. He’d only said ‘Hey’ but it was enough to disturb those sulking, sleeping butterflies.

  Jax used the excuse that he was calling to check how I was getting on with the homework exercises he’d assigned me. I tried being standoffish and he got the icy vibe so apologised for his sharp text, saying he should have worded it differently. I told him that I didn’t appreciate the vulgarity but I did appreciate his apology.