Heartless

by Zizi Cole

  I heard the door open, and turned my head slightly to see who it was. Luquin was standing at the doorway, watching me.

  “Yes, milord?” I asked. There was no inflection in my voice. I didn’t really care that he was standing there.

  “You put on quite the show for the staff today. Burning your clothing. I am not sure what you are trying to pull, but you aren’t going to show such a display again. Do you understand me?”

  “Yes, milord.”

  He walked back out without another word. I was surprised that he didn’t strike me or cause more of a fuss. I leaned back in the chair and turned back to the fire. There was a coldness that had seeped inside me, sometime since the baby had died, that I couldn’t get out. The fire wasn’t helping either.

  I started to consider what that could mean. I knew that it had changed me, but I wasn’t quite sure how. I decided that I was going to embrace it. It was time for me to be the queen everyone expected me to be. If I was going to survive here, I wasn’t going to be able to be kind and loving.

  Picking up the blanket, I stood and walked over to the fire. I tossed it in. As the fire ate the yarn, I thought about how quickly dreams changed. Everything I had loved was gone, and now I had nothing left. I was going to do what I could to survive, for Rosa, but that was it. I didn’t care what happened to me anymore.

  The blanket disappeared, fully engulfed in flames. I turned and walked away from it without looking back.

  I was trying on one of my new dresses when I heard a commotion out my window. I walked over and looked out to see one of the guards dragging someone into the castle. I shook my head and went back to the mirror.

  There was something about the figure that the guard was dragging that made me pause. I couldn’t help but think they looked familiar. I tried to shake the thought from my head. In the last weeks, I had managed to distance myself from the majority of the people at the castle. I didn’t spend time in court. If I did leave my rooms, I would go to the church.

  The word was, I was suffering from the death of our child. The lie made me want to vomit. I didn’t see how anyone believed that the baby died from natural causes within an hour of birth. The only bright side of the lie was that I was able to stay out of the limelight and away from Luquin.

  I had envisioned his death several times, but knew how dangerous it was for us not to have a king. I knew that I was better off with him alive. I also had bored him since the baby had been born. He rarely came to my room now. I knew he had a mistress, but I really didn’t care as long as he didn’t flaunt her around the castle.

  Rosa burst through the door, short of breath.

  “Lina, come quick. A guard from your father’s castle is here. He was intercepted by the guards. There was an altercation and he has been arrested.”

  I frowned at her. “Why do I care that a guard has been brought into custody?”

  “It’s Raynor.”

  I took off out of the room and raced to the throne room where the commotion was getting louder. I walked into the room, head high and shoulders back. Listening to the arguments, I stepped up beside Luquin. He looked at me out of the corner of his eye, but didn’t say a word.

  “Your Majesty, I found this spy lurking in the bushes. He claims that he was here on behalf of King Cornelius, but he brings no parchment, no messages. When I asked that he come with me, he became aggressive and began to assault me.”

  Luquin looked down a Raynor. “What is your name?”

  “Raynor. I am the head of the guard in Eflana. King Cornelius sent me to give a private word to King Luquin.”

  I made eye contact with Raynor and his eyes widened slightly. I could feel that my face had stayed the same.

  Luquin looked down at me. “Milady, is he who he says?”

  “Yes, milord. He is my father’s head of the guard.”

  He gave me a slight nod. “Very well, I will have a private word with him.” He glanced at the guard that had brought Raynor in. “Dane, please escort the queen back to her quarters. I do not want her walking about unattended until after the guard leaves.”

  The guard nodded and offered me his arm. I debated what to do, but in the end, I decided to take his proffered arm and let him take me back to my rooms. I was curious as to what was going on, though. When I returned to my room, I stopped a maid and asked her to send Scarlet up to me. She nodded and headed off.

  Scarlet opened the door and stepped in the room. She curtsied at me.

  “You asked for me, Majesty?”

  I motioned her closer. She looked so much like her mother, it made my heart ache a little. “How are you holding up?”

  She shrugged and shuffled her feet. “Okay.”

  “We can talk about what is on your mind, if you want.”

  “I miss her. Why did the king hate her so much?”

  I gave her a quick squeeze. “I don’t know. He is impossible to explain.”

  We sat and talked for a little bit and I worked on teaching her how to read. I felt it was important she knew how. Most of the staff couldn’t, but she wasn’t just staff. She was royalty and deserved some of the luxuries of such.

  I had finally found my new mission. I was going to teach Scarlet the things she needed to know to be a successful royal. I was hoping that one day she would be able to get back into her rightful place in the hierarchy. As a blood born royal, she would be the next heir if I didn’t produce a child, so she would become queen. As part of the blood family of the crown, she wouldn’t be threatened, bullied, or forced to marry. She would have a secure throne.

  I just had to keep her safe and prepare her for the day I helped her take the throne.

  Chapter 7

  I had worked with Scarlet for months. I had her reading beautifully and her handwriting was very careful. She was a very pleasant child and a quick learner. I felt myself growing closer to her, yet no one knew that we were. I tried to send the ladies off on errands and spent our time alone. Sometimes I would go down to the servants’ quarters, other times, she would come to my chambers.

  We were sitting in my parlor; Scarlet was reading a weathered copy of my favorite book. It was about a Faery Queen who had went through hell trying to protect her child from a mad, evil king. It had always been the book I read when I wanted to escape. Now, as Scarlet read it to me, I realized that it had become my life. But I had failed. I hadn’t saved my child, but I was going to try to save this one.

  The door flew open and Luquin and several of the guards walked into the room. He stopped and looked down at us. My heart rate picked up and stomach dropped. It had to be bad that they were in this room. It then occurred to me that maybe he hadn’t forgotten about her, but had been waiting for the perfect moment to ruin her life as well. She began to tremble next to me and it was obvious that she knew that it was going to be bad as well.

  They stood over us, and I slipped my arm around her waist, pulling her a little closer to me. Raising my chin, I looked Luquin in the eyes. “Do you need something?”

  He crossed his arms and looked down at me with disdain. “What are you doing with this lowly servant?”

  “I’m helping her prepare to become a lady-in-waiting. I want her to replace Amelia.”

  “I didn’t say she could be a replacement for Amelia. She wasn’t born noble and she is a simple maid.”

  I stood so I wasn’t at such a disadvantage. “It’s been months and you haven’t replaced her, so I made the decision on my own. Now if you will excuse us, we were in the middle of a lesson.”

  Luquin reared his arm back and backhanded me across the face. My veil flew off my head and I landed on the ground. I heard a scream and shot back up to see Scarlet watching in fear. Then something else, which scared me more than fear, flashed across her face. Bravery.

  “Leave her alone! You need to stop being such a bully! You murdered my m-” I shot up off the floor and covered her mouth before she could finish her sentence.

  Luquin glared at the little girl. “I didn’t
murder anyone.”

  Scarlet nodded her head as she attempted to argue with him. I tightened my grip over her mouth and hoped she would shut up and stop mouthing. It was just going to get worse.

  “Calling the king a murderer and lying about royalty is a capital offense. You could be put to death for this. But I know a better punishment.” He leaned closer to her and I could feel his breath on my hand. “We are going to show you what happens to women who can’t hold their tongue.”

  My heart stopped. I hated the thought of what he was planning. I objected immediately. “No, Luquin. That is too harsh. She is just a child.”

  His eyes shot to mine. It was daring, but I wasn’t able to stop myself. If I could prevent it, I was going to. “Do you need to be reminded who is in charge here?”

  “I know you are in charge, but milord, please have mercy on the child. She is just that. A child.”

  “I won’t let her go unpunished.” He snapped and signaled to the guards. “Take the girl down to the dungeon. And take Malina to my chambers and lock her in. I’ll be in there shortly.”

  I fought and struggled, but it was useless. There was no escaping the guards. Scarlet screamed and fought as they pulled her along, out of the room and down the hall. Her screams echoed through the castle and my head.

  I was led to his chamber and locked in. I knew what was coming, so I just paced and waited. I imagined that I could hear Scarlet’s screams as they strapped her to the chair and proceeded with the punishment. I forced myself to blank my mind out. I needed to go to my safe place before Luquin came into the room.

  My footsteps echoed as I walked down the hallway to the infirmary. I had to see Scarlet. It had been almost a week since she had been tortured and her tongue cut out. I was nervous to see her because I felt like it was my fault that she had been tortured. I stopped outside the curtain that she was behind and tried to get my breathing under control.

  When I opened the curtain, she was lying on the bed with her eyes closed. She was so still she almost looked dead. Her face was all wrapped in bandages. I felt my stomach flip and I was tempted to back away. I wanted to flee like a frightened child.

  Her eyes opened and stared straight into mine. I felt trapped, heart racing. I stepped closer and dropped into the chair beside the bed. I wasn’t sure what to say. Everything was my fault. If I hadn’t come here, her mother wouldn’t have been killed and I wouldn’t have taken her under my wing. If I hadn’t done that, she wouldn’t have mouthed off to Luquin and she would still have her tongue.

  I felt the tears building. I leaned close and began to whisper to her. “I’m so sorry, Scarlet. This is all my fault.”

  She took my hand and squeezed. She shook her head no.

  I nodded. “Yes, Scarlet. It is my fault. I should have anticipated what he would do.”

  She shook her head more vehemently. She tried to talk but it just came out as groans and grunts that ended in a moan and whine. Trying to speak without a tongue must have been painful.

  “Don’t try to speak, Scarlet.”

  She whimpered again. I reached out and brushed my hand along her head. She looked at me with tear-filled eyes. My heart broke a little bit more, even though I didn’t think it was possible.

  “Don’t worry. We will teach you how to communicate as soon as you are well enough to leave this bed. I promise we will figure it out.”

  She nodded and closed her eyes. I continued to hold her hand after she stilled. I sighed. I didn’t know what I was going to do, but I was beginning to feel unsure again. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

  I stood and kissed her on the forehead. I left orders with the nurse to let me know when Scarlet was well enough to leave the infirmary and went back to my chambers to plan.

  After Scarlet was released from the infirmary we began working on learning to communicate. I had found some old books in the library about sign language and we poured over the books, learning the basics of it so we could communicate. When she needed to say something while we were learning, she would write it down, and we would burn it immediately. It was just between us that we were learning communication.

  When we finally had the communication between us, we started planning for what needed to be done to get rid of Luquin, and Scarlet began to run my errands for me. It kept Rosa off the radar and no one thought twice about the mute girl running around and doing errands. She was just another fixture in the kingdom now.

  Scarlet had become the one that knew all my secrets. She wasn’t going to share them with anyone. She was also telling me about the comings and goings of the king. That was when I found out that he’s had a mistress for years.

  She wouldn’t tell me who it was, just that he had been buying the mistress gifts lately. She had seen his valet running the errands for him and followed him around for a day. I thanked her for the information and dismissed her so she could go to bed.

  I paced the room, trying to decide what to do with the fact that Luquin had a mistress. I personally didn’t care that he had one. What I didn’t like was he was buying her gifts, while I was putting my life on the line. I tried to decided if this was a good thing or a bad thing. I could see both sides of the situation.

  I decided to venture out of my rooms the next morning to see if I could find out who she was. I had come to the conclusion that it did not matter how I felt about him having a mistress, I had to act like the slighted wife, if it was known around the castle.

  I walked into the dining room for breakfast and the chatter stopped. Heads bowed in acknowledgement of my presence. Luquin stood and pulled my chair out for me. I was seated, and he pushed it back in before sitting back down.

  He smiled at me. “Well, wife, it is nice of you to join us this morning.”

  “Thank you, milord. I am feeling much better today and thought I would join everyone, especially you, my loving husband.”

  There were awes around the room as I stared adoringly at Luquin. I could see his eyebrows twitch as he managed to keep his face neutral. I knew he was suspicious of my behavior, but I was being nothing except a doting, admiring wife. Exactly what he wanted.

  When the meal was served, I turned to my plate and began to eat without speaking to anyone else. I watched the interactions, yet no one seemed to hold his interest more than a moment. The breakfast was uneventful.

  Afterwards, Luquin stood up and offered an arm. “Would you care to go for a walk with me, milady?”

  I smiled and took his arm. We walked outside and into the garden. I kept my eyes adverted when we walked past the fountain. I could hear the water tinkling and it made my blood run cold.

  Once we had walked for a bit, he turned and looked at me. “What are you up to, Malina?”

  My eyebrows shot up into my hairline. “Whatever do you mean? You want a wife, I thought I would do my best to be what you wanted. I am trying to be a better wife and queen.”

  He stared at me for a moment without saying anything. Then we continued to walk until we made our way back around the gardens to the castle. When we were in front of several people from court, he bowed and kissed my hand. “Thank you for the walk, My Queen. I will see you at dinner, I have things I must attend to.”

  I curtsied and watched him walk away. After he disappeared into his meeting room, I joined the other ladies of court for a few minutes in the sun room. I decided that I couldn’t handle that, so I begged off with a headache and went back to my chambers.

  I was almost to my doors when I heard a couple of women heading my way. When they walked around the corner, I saw it was the Duchess of Eshen and one of her ladies. They stopped when they saw me, and the duchess rushed to me and gave me a tight hug.

  “My Queen. It is so nice to see you out and about. I have missed you dearly. I haven’t seen you since you were with child. I am so sorry to hear about that my dear.”

  “Thank you, Duchess.” I felt awkward and wanted to get away from her.

  She turned to her lady and dismissed her. �
�You go ahead, Lucille. I want to speak with the queen in private.” She turned to me. “Shall we?”

  I inclined my head and followed her down the hall, back the way they had come. We stopped in front of a door, and she slowly turned the knob and ushered me in. When the door was shut, she led me to a sitting room.

  Once settled, she began. “Oh, dear. I can only imagine what you have been going through, but I have a confession. I know the stories that Luquin has told about what happened, are false. I could see it on his face.”

  I leaned back in the chair and crossed my legs. Smoothing my skirts, I looked back up at her. “I am sorry, but I don’t know what you mean.”

  She inclined her head when she realized that I wasn’t going to discuss it further. “I know what you were doing down at breakfast. You want to know who Luquin is having an affair with. I can tell you she isn’t a noble. There is a lot of talk about it, but he isn’t stupid enough to pick a noble, now that he’s married. I heard it was one of your ladies, but I do not know for sure.”

  I nodded. “I suspected as much, thank you.”

  “What are you going to do about it?”

  I shrugged. “What any wife and queen would do.”

  With a trembling hand, I knocked on Luquin’s door. He called out his consent to enter and I walked into the chambers. He was sitting in front of the fire, smoking a pipe. He turned and looked at me. I walked up to him, keeping my hands folded in front of me.

  I knew how I looked. I was the picture of serenity and calm. I knew that I had an air of authority around me as well. Luquin wouldn’t like that, but he would respect it. I knew that being straight forward with him was the best move.

  “I have a request, milord.”

  Cocking an eyebrow, he blew smoke out of the corner of his mouth. “What is that, milady?”

  The fact that he kept the formality between us wasn’t lost on me. I maintained the proper dignity. “There have been whispers of your mistress and it is becoming frequent enough, that even I am hearing it. I am not going to say I don’t want you to have a mistress, but I am going to ask that you keep it more discreet. I do not want people laughing at me behind my back, since my husband has the wandering eye. No offense, My King.”