Beside Your Heart

by Mary Whitney

  Rachel’s reaction made Tom’s smile disappear, and he gave me a parental look. “Nicki, this little flirtation with David doesn’t have anything to do with Adam, does it? You’re not trying to make him jealous or something, are you?”

  Wanting to nip that thought in the bud, my tone was firm. “Um. No.”

  Rachel placed her hand on Tom’s arm and shook her head. “Babe, no woman would need a motivation other than David himself to want to be with him. He’s hot, and he’s got that accent. I’m sure Adam is the last thing on Nicki’s mind.”

  I tried to shrug it off with a joke. “She’s right. Adam who?”

  After English, Adam, David, and I were at the lockers again when David asked, “So do we get to see you tonight?”

  His saucy grin made me feel like he wanted to do more than just see me tonight. Somehow I kept my voice even as I answered, “Well, I think that depends on whether Adam is going to Lance’s party.” I didn’t look at Adam when I said it.

  David turned to Adam and laughed. “We’re going to Lance’s party, all right.”

  Adam gave a half-smile. “Happy to oblige.”

  Lance’s house was often the site of parties because his parents traveled a lot, plus it was really cool. His family was very wealthy, and his house was a giant art museum. When we arrived around nine-thirty, New Order blasted through the house, and with the décor, it felt like a club.

  It was an unseasonably warm night, so we found Adam, David, and Tom by the keg on the deck. We all said hello to one another, and I immediately knew something was different with David. Adam seemed to be acting the same as he had at school—a little quieter than usual. David was still very nice to me, but he seemed more reserved.

  The guys were talking about the perennial topic of whether alternative music was really alternative if it was played on top-forty radio. Rachel and I plopped down on a sofa in one of the many sitting areas on the big deck. Lisa had left us as soon as we walked in because she spied an old crush of hers, Peter, who was now in college in Austin.

  I was pleased that it took only two minutes before David walked over to us. The sexy smirk was back as he asked, “Fancy some company?”

  “Of course,” Rachel said with a grin. She eyed me and stood up. “I’ll be back, though. I need to get some water.”

  She lied so fluidly that I think David actually believed her. He smiled. “No worries. I’ll save your place.”

  When he sat down beside me, he sat much closer than Rachel had been. I smiled at the close proximity and asked, “How was the rest of your afternoon?”

  “Good. We went back to Adam’s place. When I walked in, Adam’s mum, my Aunt Judith, was on the phone to me mum. They’re sisters.”

  “Was she checking up on you?”

  “Probably.” He laughed. “I didn’t think of that, but you’re right. She hasn’t been able to keep tabs on me for the last six months.”

  We talked for a while about his travels, and I could tell something had changed from the afternoon. He wasn’t really flirting anymore. Maybe flakiness runs in their family.

  When our conversation lulled, I started to feel awkward. I was about to grab at any sentence I could find in my brain, but David startled me by putting his hand on my left arm. My dress was just a simple shift, so my arm was bare, and when I looked down, I saw his tanned fingers were very gently touching the mauve scar on my pale skin. What was he doing? It wasn’t like I wanted to hide my scars, but the only other person who had touched one was my doctor. I was embarrassed and nervous, so I tried to make light of it. “It’s kind of scary, I know.”

  He kept tracing the railroad track up and down. It felt exquisite. And to have someone touch one of my damaged parts was especially sweet. I was shocked when he softly said, “Aunt Judith told me about it.”

  “What?”

  “We were talking, and I mentioned that I met you. Apparently, she knows your mum from church. She said she was impressed by how well your mum was doing.”

  A fleeting memory came back to me of seeing Adam in the packed congregation on Easter Sunday last spring. It made sense that they would go to an Episcopal church if they were English and in the States. But I hadn’t gone to church since Lauren’s funeral and had no plans on going back until Mom made me.

  “I don’t think that I’ve met your aunt,” I said, shaking my head.

  “Yeah, Aunt Judith said that. She said that she really didn’t know your mum either but that she went to the funeral.”

  Adam’s mom was at Lauren’s funeral? That’s weird. Even if I’d known what she looked like, I probably wouldn’t have recognized her. I had kept to myself that day as much as I could.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t get to meet her,” I said.

  He continued feeling my scar. It felt so nice. Actually, a little more than nice; it felt sexual. All of a sudden, I realized that I was getting a little aroused. Had my mind left my body? I was getting turned on while talking about my sister’s death.

  “I’m sure she understands,” he said as his finger crossed my skin. “It’s not exactly the place to meet people. Anyway, she said your mum seemed like a wonderful woman, raising a level-headed daughter by herself.”

  “Ha!” I snorted. “Your aunt really doesn’t know my mom, or she would have heard her opinions on my hair and wardrobe. I don’t think she would say I’m levelheaded.”

  David chuckled, but he then removed his hand from my arm and looked at me intently. “After hearing your story, I’m gobsmacked Adam hadn’t mentioned it earlier.”

  “Why didn’t he? It’s not a secret.” I tried to joke. “It’s been in the paper, for God’s sake.”

  “I asked. He said he didn’t know if you’d want people talking about it. He also said you seemed to have good days and bad days.”

  “Well, that’s true.” I looked over at Adam. He was about twenty feet away talking with Tom. He didn’t appear to be paying any attention to us. I really wanted to change the subject.

  “Yes, that makes sense to me, but I didn’t think it was the whole story.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well, I thought it was strange that Adam hadn’t told me anything about you before we met. You’re in his circle of friends.” He touched one of my stray curls. “And you’re quite something.”

  I could feel the heat of a deep blush on my cheeks. “My scars are something, at least.”

  “No, I’m serious. This afternoon, I asked him if he ever fancied you, and he didn’t really answer.”

  “He has a girlfriend,” I said nonchalantly, hoping the topic would close.

  “That don’t mean anything,” David said, shaking his head. “Sylvia told me that he liked talking with you.”

  “Yeah. He likes talking with me because I remind him of his old girlfriend.” Boy, did I sound bitter…

  “Did he say that to you? Kate? You remind him of Kate? What a prat! I can’t believe he said that. Though I s’pose you’re more like Kate than Meredith. You two are both clever and pretty, but Kate is very conventional.”

  The conversation had become so bizarre that I went silent. And I really didn’t like having to hear about Kate and Meredith in the same sentence.

  While I was quiet, David kept talking. “Have you ever fancied Adam?”

  He was staring at me with those blue eyes, and there was something about his Cockney accent that was so humble and genuine. I had to be honest. “I’m not sure if I’ve fancied him, but I did start to think about him when he was so nice to me all the time. But I knew he wasn’t into me. I mean, he and Meredith make out in front of my locker every morning.”

  Nodding, David looked down at my arm and started tracing the scar once more. “Well, I have to ask if you were only flirting with me because you’re actually keen on Adam.”

  I frowned at being asked that again. “That question doesn’t speak very highly of me, and it’s silly.”

  “I’m sorry. I know it ain’t nice to think that, but I’m curious.
”

  His blue eyes were locked on mine. It felt like he was pulling information out of me. I stumbled as I said, “There are a lot of reasons why I like being with you, but honestly…none of them have anything to do with making Adam jealous.”

  “Is that right?” The smile from earlier that day came across his face again.

  Absolutely, I thought. I wanted to be with this guy. I bit my lip before replying in almost a whisper, “That’s right.”

  I was expecting him to turn and give me a kiss—like most guys would do. Instead, he turned, gazed at me for a moment, and asked, “Don’t be offended, but can I see your other scars?”

  I smiled at the sudden change in mood. “You didn’t see the one on my ankle?”

  He bent down and swept his fingers around the ugly mark. His touch felt so erotic, slightly uncomfortable. I had to readjust my sitting position.

  After a minute he said, “With that bad of an accident, I’d think there were more.”

  “Well, there’s one on my thigh that I would show you right now, but it might cause some stares if I were to raise my dress.”

  “I’d certainly stare.”

  His grin was so devilish that I swatted him on the shoulder. Shaking my head, I covered my stomach with my arms. “There’s no reason to stare anyway. I have a pretty gruesome scar on my stomach. It’s really ugly and big. No more bikinis for me.”

  “Now that’s really disappointing.”

  “The rest are small and scattered around here and there. Only my face came out okay.”

  “I’d say it came out more than okay.” He raised his hand up to my hair and tousled it. “You’re so lovely.”

  I wanted to kiss him badly, but there were too many people around, including Adam. Despite everything, I really didn’t want to rub it in Adam’s face. I looked down at our empty beers and asked, “Should we get another drink?”

  “Sure.” He got up and gave me his hand. But when I stood, he let it go. I immediately thought that was a bad sign until he put his arm around me, guiding me into the house. As we walked by Adam and Tom, he asked, “Do you two want another drink?”

  Adam answered David but looked at me. “In a bit,” he said.

  When we got in the kitchen, I excused myself and went to the bathroom. I tipped my head over and fluffed up my hair; otherwise, I decided that the rest of me still looked okay. When I returned to the kitchen, David was gone. I wandered around looking for him, and we ended up walking into one another in a tight hallway off the kitchen. Right as we exchanged hellos, a loud group of guys started barreling down the hallway just as another couple came from the other side. I had no idea what was behind me, but David moved his arm around me. He must have opened a door, because he said, “Let’s get out of their way.”

  We ended up in a large pantry, and he closed the door as the noisy crew walked by. Not knowing what to do, I flicked the switch, but the light had a dead bulb. Being alone in a small, dark room with David made me nervous, so I joked, “Even Lance’s pantry is nicely done.”

  “True,” he said.

  With only a one-word reply, he obviously wasn’t interested in conversation. I could sense this was it. We were already very close, but we stepped toward each other. He leaned down and moved his right hand behind my neck and into my hair and put his left hand on my hip. And then we kissed. Even the first simple peck was tantalizing. I couldn’t remember the last time I had felt that alive.

  At first it was a series of long kisses with our mouths closed. I wove my fingers into his hair and had my other hand on his chest. Soon our tongues met, and everything became very soulful. Since I had already been aroused just sitting by him before, I was losing my mind now. I pressed my body to his. We both started to breathe a little heavily.

  He pulled away and looked to a stepladder at our side. He grinned. “This might be fun. How ’bout we move you?” All of a sudden, he sat me down on the top step of the ladder, evening out our height, and he was kissing me again.

  I parted my legs, which hiked up my dress, and he moved in between my thighs. Repositioning me, he pulled me closer to him. Oh my God. He was hard against me, and the fact there was almost nothing between us didn’t seem lost on him. He began kissing my neck and pressing himself against my panties. His hands traveled down my side, grazing my breasts before settling on my hips, giving him some leverage to rub his dick against me in earnest. I was pretty sure my crotch would explode. In my mind, though, I knew there was only so much that could be done in a pantry.

  “I think…I think we should go outside.” I tried to cover up the gasp that I’d let out by enunciating a little more clearly. “Maybe by the pool?”

  “That sounds nice,” he said and kissed my neck. “But I never knew how much I liked ladders.”

  Giving him a giddy peck on the lips, I jumped down from the ladder and straightened myself up. He kissed me again before he took my hand. To my joy, this time he didn’t let go. I led the way out of the pantry only to see Lance heading down the hallway with Adam and Tom behind him.

  Oh shit. Lance had a big smile on his face. I knew something snarky would come out of him. “Nicki, it is so nice of you to give such a thorough tour of my home to our international guest. I would have never thought to show David our pantry.”

  There was no good way out of this. Adam stared at me with that curious look. Tom laughed heartily. I forced a smile and turned away, but I heard David say, “It’s just as nice as the rest of the house.”

  “Oh, I think you probably liked it more than the other rooms,” said Lance.

  Before it got any worse for me, I ignored them and dragged David out of the most uncomfortable of uncomfortable situations. Leading him outside, I walked us down the steps to the pool. I remembered that it had some intricate gardens with hedges in a modern pattern around it. There was pool furniture everywhere, and it was easy to find a secluded chaise lounge.

  When we sat down, we didn’t immediately pick up where we left off. Instead, we talked for at least an hour about school and books and the places he had traveled. I was jealous of his journeys. I sat there thinking, This is what I need. Someone who is kind and adventurous and who genuinely likes me. Then at one point when the conversation waned, David smiled and tousled my hair. That’s when things picked up again.

  The kisses began sweetly, but they soon became incredibly passionate—all playful tongues searching out the other person. He was holding me very gently, running his fingers all over my arms and neck. I was so happy. This wonderful man—and he was a man, not a boy—was loving me.

  The kissing continued as we lay down on the lounge. I was off in some la la land and didn’t realize that I had immediately opened up my legs to him. He groaned while positioning himself between them again. If I had any presence of mind, I should have been embarrassed being so forward. After all, I was flat on my back spread-eagle for a stranger, but I was off the charts aroused now. I even had a brief thought that this really wouldn’t be a bad way to lose my virginity. But that was kind of stupid—I’d said no to my old boyfriend because he was leaving for college, yet here I was, ready to go with a tourist.

  My dress had shimmied up to my waist so that I was really only half-clad. He looked down at me, brought his hand to my face. “Nicki, you are so gorgeous. Incredibly so.”

  “Oh, David,” was all I managed to get out of my mouth. My body said the rest as I rubbed myself into his rock-hard erection. Kissing me again, he began thrusting gently against me—the latter starting to send me over the edge. He was wearing khakis, not jeans, so I felt him distinctly through my panties—so distinctly that I thought he might have gone commando.

  When he moved his body away and began tickling me over my panties, I went nuts. And I was only climbing to another plateau when his fingers found the right spot, making my brain blur. My whimpers spurred his fingers on while his other hand went under my panties and grabbed my ass.

  I faintly heard him ask, “What do you want me to do, Nicki? I’l
l do whatever you want.”

  I was so far gone at that point, though. I gasped, and my body shuddered into his from an intense orgasm.

  Holding me close to him, he gave me tiny kisses everywhere. As soon as my mind registered what had just happened, I was really embarrassed. Nothing like that had ever happened to me before. John had only gotten me there once, and it had taken a long time. All I could say was, “That was embarrassing.”

  He chuckled and stroked my hair. “Embarrassing? Jesus, not at all. That was bloody fantastic. And you…you are lovelier than ever.”

  I froze when I heard my name called from over the hedge. “Nicki? Nicki?”

  Thank God, it was Rachel’s voice. If there was one person I could handle talking to right now, it would be Rachel. “Yeah?”

  “I just wanted to let you know that I’m going home with Tom now. Lisa left with Peter a few minutes ago. Do you want to go? We can wait for you.”

  I really didn’t want to go, but I knew that I should. I needed to be doing things that made sense, not crazy things like losing my virginity to a Cockney Brit in Lance’s backyard. Of course, I also didn’t want to face any aftermath with Adam.

  I whispered to David, “I really should get going.”

  He furrowed his brow. “Hmm. Shame. I don’t like that idea at all.”

  I thought for a moment and had an idea. “Everybody has been drinking, so I’m going to walk home. You can walk with me if you want.”

  “I guess that shall have to do, won’t it?” he said with a kiss on my nose.

  Rachel called again to me, “Nicki? Are you coming with us?”

  “It’s okay. I’ll walk myself.”

  “Are you sure?”

  I could tell that actually meant, Are you sure you want to be with David? So I assured her, “Not a problem. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

  “Okay.” Then she laughed. “Bye, David. Nice meeting you.”

  David laughed with her. “You as well, Rachel.”

  And then we heard it—Adam’s voice from up on the steps. “Where are they?” he asked.