Reasons to Leave (Reasons #1)

by Lisa J. Hobman

  She nodded, but bitterness washed over her on hearing his words. “You got four A’s, Jason.”

  His eyes widened and he opened his mouth, but no sound came out. Standing, he shook his head and paced the floor for a few minutes before walking over to lean on the kitchen counter top.

  Eventually, he snorted. “Well fuck me sideways.” He shook his head again. “In your fucking face, father dear.” He clasped his hands atop his head, puffing out his cheeks and closing his eyes briefly. Then he glanced over at her, grimacing. “The fucker would have been so very proud.” His voice dripped with sarcasm as he wiped both hands over his face and dropped his arms by his side.

  She walked over to stand beside him and then bit her lip. “I’m so sorry. I seem to be dishing up lots of things that maybe you’d rather not know, don’t I?”

  He shrugged his shoulders and huffed out a long breath. “It’s okay. I’m just a little…shocked by everything. This time last week, I was still a total failure with only one decent parent. Now I’m a grade A student with no parents.” Sadness washed over his features, and a line appeared between his brows.

  She reached up and squeezed his arm. “Hey, you’re in no way a failure. Okay, so you no longer have the…you know…clean-cut-head-boy look going on.” She gestured up and down his body. “I mean…now you’re all ripped muscles, long hair, and tats, but I’m not complaining.”

  He laughed at her words and rolled his eyes. The heat rose in her cheeks once again when she realised she’d just said the whole sentence out loud and had admitted she actually did find him attractive.

  Oh shitty shit. Ground, swallow me up now!

  When her embarrassment had subsided a little, she stroked his arm up and down in a weak effort to comfort him. He responded with a warm smile. Turning to face her, he ran his fingertips down her flushed cheek. “You haven’t changed at all. You’re still very beautiful.” His voice was soft, and her heart ached at his words. “I used to feel like the luckiest boy at school, you know? I’d sit there, in the biology lab, looking over at you when I was supposed to be answering textbook questions, but I just couldn’t concentrate. It was the class where I had the best view of you. And that’s why I used to love biology.”

  He took her face in his hands, caressing her cheeks tenderly with his thumbs, and she shivered at the contact, closing her eyes.

  “I couldn’t concentrate because all I could do was stare at you. You’d be laughing at something Carrie had said…or you’d be chewing on your pen looking all intense and studious. It was such a turn on, you know? And all I could do was think about taking you in my arms and kissing you. I used to dream of undressing you and touching your bare skin…kissing you all over. To just…be with you…have you naked in my arms…skin on skin…sharing my body with you…and us taking that next, intimate step together. To feel you around me as I moved inside you. God, Stevie, it was all I wanted.”

  Her heart began to race. A deep ache throbbed between her thighs, and she suddenly became a little light headed. “It was all I wanted too. But I thought you didn’t want me. Because I didn’t know what was going on, I was left thinking that I somehow wasn’t who you really wanted.”

  He closed his eyes and shook his head slowly. When he opened them again, he bent to rest his forehead on hers. “No, don’t ever think that. You were all I wanted. You’ve always been the one I wanted…even now… I can’t give my heart away because you still have it in your hands.”

  She gasped just before Jason’s lips crushed hers. His hands slipped roughly into her hair, and he cradled her head. His lips were firm and the kiss demanding. The trace of stubble on his jaw grazed against her skin, sending shivers down her entire body. He tasted of wine, and she just couldn’t get enough. His tongue thrust into her mouth, and she met it with her own as she found herself gripping his T-shirt in case her legs gave way beneath her. Her heart hammered as she pulled herself into his hard chest while his lips moved urgently over hers.

  He deepened the intense kiss as one of his hands slid from her hair and trailed down her back, leaving tingles as it travelled. When his hand reached her lower back, he pulled her closer so that their bodies were completely aligned and his prominent arousal pressed into her. His tongue explored her mouth, and his breath hissed in and out of his nose. The noise that emanated from within his body sounded almost pained. He pulled away, his chest rising and falling rapidly. She was panting as she gazed dreamily into his eyes that were now dark with desire.

  He caressed her face as he spoke. “I want to take your hand and lead you to my bedroom…and then I want to undress us both…and if you’ll let me I want to lay you down and sink myself inside you…like I should have done all those years ago…because unlike then I have nothing to hide from you now and I need to show you how I feel in a way that I couldn’t back then.”

  His intense gaze caused her muscles to clench again with the need to feel his touch. She wanted this. She wanted him. Desperately. She nodded her acquiescence and he took her hand, pulling her behind him through the door leading away from the lounge.

  Once inside his bedroom, he stood before her, still breathing heavily. She glanced around the cosy space and smiled. It was just how she pictured it, whitewashed walls and white bed linens. Simple but beautiful. Soon her eyes were locked on his again as he almost devoured her with his chocolate brown gaze.

  He pushed her hair away from her shoulders and ran his index finger around the collar of her T-shirt. Goose bumps rose on her skin, and she closed her eyes anticipating his next move. Reaching for the hem, he grasped it and dragged it up and off her body in one swift move. He paused and she opened her eyes to look deeply into his.

  He slid his palms along the curve of her waist and inhaled sharply, biting his bottom lip as his thumbs caressed the underside of her lace-covered breasts. In a split second his mouth was on hers again, tasting and teasing. She was overwhelmed with desire and something that felt a little bit like fear. She didn’t want to think too much about what she was allowing to happen, lest she stop him and regret it forever.

  He pulled away again, and his eyes stared intently into hers, his hands moved up and fisted in her hair. Regarding her with a look of intense hunger, his voice came out in a husky whisper. “I’ve dreamed of this moment for the last ten years. But I never imagined it would actually happen. To have you here…now…and to know that I can touch you.” He inhaled deeply through his nose and shook his head. “I’m almost afraid to do it in case you turn out to be a figment of my imagination.”

  She held his face in her palms. “I’m here. I’m real, and I want you so bad right now…touch me…please?”

  Her words seemed to fuel his already evident arousal, and he reached out and slipped both of her white lace bra straps from her shoulders.

  With a confidence she didn’t realise she had, she bent her arms around and unhooked her bra letting it fall to the floor but keeping her eyes firmly fixed on his to gauge his reaction. He was mesmerised. He stepped closer again and smoothed his hands slowly from her collarbone, down over her breasts. He cupped them reverently and ran his thumbs in circles over her nipples, which peaked as he moved. She couldn’t help the whimper that escaped as she closed her eyes relishing his touch.

  Stopping his ministrations briefly, he removed his own T-shirt, which he tossed onto a chair in the corner of the white, wood panelled room. She reached up and smoothed her hands over the taut, tattooed skin of his chest until her hands were tangled in his hair.

  He pulled her into him so that her nipples brushed against his warm skin. The contact felt so good and set her blood afire. He bent so that his breath teased her ear, sending pleasure-filled electric shocks through her body, finishing at the junction of her thighs where the ache had deepened further. “Skin on skin,” he whispered. “It feels so good, just like I imagined.”

  Sliding his hands down her back, he cupped her bottom, squeezing as he kissed and nibbled at her neck. His movements became faster, roug
her. She moaned and let her head fall back, absorbing the sensations radiating through her. Slipping her hands into his waistband, she pushed until his pyjama pants slid below his erection and it sprang toward her. He let the pants slip down and stepped out of them, kicking them aside. He was magnificent. She wanted to touch him but fear got the better of her.

  Jason’s fingers came around to the front of her linen trousers, and after unfastening them, he dropped to his knees before her and grasped them, tugging away the last remaining barriers as quickly as he could. He gazed up to look at her standing naked before him and shook his head slowly.

  “What? What is it?” She was suddenly very self-conscious and wanted to cover her curves up again.

  “Just…look at you…you have to be one of the most beautiful sights I’ve ever been lucky enough to behold.”

  Her cheeks flushed, and she clenched her hands at her sides. “Oh stop…I’m ten years older than when you should’ve seen me like this. Then I would’ve been worth looking at, but now—”

  “No. Don’t do that. Don’t take anything away from this moment. Please. To me…looking at you now…like this… You’re perfection. Just as you are.” He grasped her hips and rested his forehead on her belly. “I had no idea I’d missed you this much. I had no idea how incomplete I was without you. Please forgive me.” His words choked as they left his mouth.

  Overcome with emotion, more tears escaped and slipped down her face, leaving cold, wet trails in their wake. “I do forgive you, Jason. But really…there’s nothing to forgive. What you did…yes, it hurt…but now that I know why you left, how could I be angry?” She stroked his hair, and his tears dampened her skin as he clung to her.

  Once he had calmed, he began to trail kisses all over her from where he crouched. His fingers dug into her hips, and he nuzzled the soft curls at the apex of her thighs and inhaled deeply.

  “God, I love your smell.” Horrified at his words, she tried to step back, but his eyes shot up to meet hers. “I mean it. Don’t be embarrassed.” He turned back and nuzzled her again. She began to relax until his tongue slipped between her folds. Her head rolled back, and she couldn’t help the groan that released from her throat. “Mmmm…and you taste amazing too.” He lapped at her until she began to tighten. Her breathing became shallow. Miles had never been able to make her come this way. It had never felt this good. It was as if Jason had known the best way to mark her. To ruin her for every other man. She clenched and tugged at his hair as her legs began to weaken.

  “Jason…Jason stop,” she whispered desperately.

  “It’s okay, Stevie…just let go…I’ve got you.” His voice vibrated deep inside her and pushed her over the edge. She cried out as her legs gave way beneath her and pleasure pulsed from her core all the way to her fingertips and curled toes. He grabbed her body and pulled her against him as he stood.

  Once on his feet again, he took her mouth with such fervour that he stole her breath. Their tongues tangled and caressed each other in a passionate duel as their touches gained urgency. Taking what they had lost ten years before.

  As he kissed her, Jason backed them toward the bed and tumbled, taking her with him. She was pulled on top of his hard body as he squeezed and moulded her breast with one hand, the other tugging at her hair. His breathing was heavy and fevered, mirroring hers. She broke away from his mouth and nibbled along his jaw, down his neck, making him groan with desire as his hand slipped around to pull her into him. It was as if he couldn’t quite get her close enough. She scratched at his chest and back feeling the same urgency making his erection flinch against her, refuelling her need for him.

  Suddenly, he moved her so that she was beneath him. He had one leg between her thighs as he trailed kisses down her chest and along to her breast where he drew a nipple between his teeth, swirling his tongue around the peak, making her moan and grasp at his hair to pull him even closer. Heat enflamed her body as her muscles clenched once again. She needed his touch elsewhere. His hand stroked roughly down her body until he found her dampness and began to tease her with his fingers.

  As his touch picked up speed, Jason closed his eyes. “Oh God, I want you so, so much. Please, say yes.”

  She reached up and caressed his face until he once again met her gaze. “I think you already know that my answer is yes.”

  Caressing her sensitive flesh again, he made her cry out. He teased her tender nub once more until pleasure shot through her body and she bucked beneath him, her breathing becoming faster. “Oh, Jason…Jason please,” she cried as she soared skyward once again.

  “You look so beautiful when you just let yourself go like that. I love to see you.” Jason caught her cries with his mouth as she clung to him whilst she floated back down to earth. As her breathing calmed, the bed moved. She opened her eyes and looked up to see Jason sheathing himself. He really was staggeringly beautiful. His broad chest glistened with sweat in the dim light, and his bicep muscles flexed and tensed as he moved. Jason naked was certainly one mental picture she wanted to etch into her mind and keep forever.

  He leaned back over her again and kissed her deeply, exploring her mouth once again with his delicious tongue and rebuilding her desire for him. “When I said that seeing you naked before me was the most beautiful sight I’d ever beheld…I was wrong…it was seeing you fall apart in ecstasy like that, in my arms. And knowing that I made it happen is just… Wow! Words just…fail me.”

  She couldn’t find the words to respond either at that point. She simply gazed up at him as her breathing calmed, unable to believe how amazing she felt. How connected to him she felt.

  He positioned himself between her thighs and hesitated. “Are you sure you’re real? Am I going to wake up from a dream the moment I sink myself inside of you?”

  She slowly moved her head from side to side. “I’m here. This is real.” She hadn’t been with a man in a long while and was a little nervous, but she had never wanted to be with any man as much as she wanted Jason.

  He thrust himself inside her as a loud groan erupted from deep within his chest. “Stevie…my soul mate.” Tears escaped her eyes at the words she had loved so much before he left. Once he was fully immersed in her, he stopped and nuzzled her neck. He lifted so that he rested above her on his forearms and looked into her eyes. “My soul mate.” He whispered possessively as he ran his nose along hers, before kissing her with all the passion and longing ten years apart had built.

  She threaded one hand in his hair and slid the other down to his bottom where she kneaded and squeezed, encouraging him to move. It was all the motivation he needed. Picking up his pace, he crashed his mouth into hers once again, urgency and hunger so clearly evident in his heated movements, holding her as his eyes remained locked on hers. She lifted her legs and wrapped them around his waist, inhaling sharply at their deeper connection. She clung to him, never wanting to let him go.

  The feeling of him moving inside her was exquisite, like nothing she had experienced before. She had always loved sex, but nothing came close to making love with Jason. Because even though there was desperation in his movements, she felt sure that’s what this was; making love. She too had fantasised about this moment. And now that it was happening, it was all she had hoped for, and more.

  Resting his forehead on hers, he gained momentum, and she tightened again. Soon she was gasping, with her head thrown back and her eyes closed.

  “Stevie…look at me…please…I want to see you. I need to know this is real.” Jason’s pain-filled words pulled her back from the edge. Her eyes snapped open and met the intensity of his. His brow creased and his expression was a mask of myriad emotions. He thrust forward once more, and she shattered into a million microscopic pieces beneath him.

  A split second later a guttural roar erupted from his chest as he joined her. “Stevie!” Her name was a drawn-out sounding cry falling from his lips. “My soul mate,” he whispered once again.

  Chapter Ten

  Jason glanced over at the cl
ock. It was almost two in the morning. Stevie was curled into his side with her head resting on his chest. Her breathing told him that she was asleep, yet he continued to stroke his fingers up and down her back, feeling soothed by his own actions.

  Making love to her had blown his mind. He’d had plenty of sex in his adult life since he left her, but he had never connected with anyone like that before. This was way beyond sex. He’d felt it deep in his soul. The pleasure intensified a hundred fold just because he actually cared. He’d never been a selfish lover, but his partner’s gratification was always a means to a selfish end. This, however, had been all about her, watching her overwhelmed with pleasure. The fact that he experienced the most astounding orgasm of his life was just a bonus. The way she’d looked when she came… Wow…just beautiful. He wanted to experience that over and over again, to hold her and feel her clench as she fell apart just for him.

  All for him.

  This wasn’t how he had intended things to go tonight. He wanted to talk, to find out about her life since he’d been absent. But hearing her talk about sex with another man had sparked possessiveness in him that he had no idea existed. He had never felt that way before, but at that moment, hearing her talking about how Miles had made her come every time hurt him so deeply that he suddenly needed her to experience with him what he had wanted her to experience all those years ago. He needed to show her how things could be with him.

  Seeing her naked had stunned him. Back when they were eighteen they had never gone beyond kissing and holding each other. He had no idea what had lain beneath her clothes, although he was a teenaged guy with a libido like any other teenaged guy. But he had never even touched her breast for fear things would get heated and they’d end up going further. This would have revealed his secret pain to her, and he hadn’t wanted that.

  But now she was a woman in every sense of the word. Her smooth skin and her curves took his breath away. She had been self-conscious, but he had no clue why. She was in no way skinny, but that was such a good thing. Women these days were obsessed with being thin. But from experience, he knew there was nothing remotely sexy about fucking a skeleton with skin. Women like that didn’t give him a raging hard on like the one he’d had since the day she had re-entered his life. Women were supposed to be soft and curvy to complement the flat, hard planes of a man. Well, of him anyway.