Finding Justus

by Bretz, Amanda

Justus felt as though her nipples were on fire, and ready to explode if he didn’t touch them soon. Her breathing was nothing but short, shallow pants, and she began grinding her hips against the front of his body.

  As if reading her mind, he finally succumbed and closed his mouth around one of her nipples. In spite of herself, Justus fairly shouted his name. Her hands were desperately tugging on the front of his shirt, and she was sure she heard the unmistakable sound of ripping fabric, but she didn’t care. She had to get Miguel’s clothes off and her hands on his flesh.

  Once she did, she was captivated by the feel of his warm silky skin and hair smattered chest. Their mouths connected once again, while their hands roamed freely, it seemed they couldn’t touch each other enough. When Justus ran a finger over one of Miguel’s nipples he moaned. Delighted she could evoke this kind of pleasure, she touched it again and got the same response.

  He placed his hand over hers and lowered it to his abdomen. Justus broke free of their kiss to look Miguel in the eyes. His eyes were dark, and hungry. She was sure hers looked large and wild from desire. She moved her hand in small, slow, agonizing circles over his flat stomach.

  When she got to his navel, he closed his eyes and sucked in his breath sharply. He seemed to be waiting for her to move her hand lower, into his waistband. Justus grasped the button on his pants, not knowing whether she wanted to see or feel Miguel first. She quickly returned her mouth to his and began unzipping his fly.

  When her hand reached the tip of his arousal, her pulse rate accelerated. It was apparent Mother Nature had blessed him. A simultaneous gasp filled the air when she ran her hand along the length of his shaft. His was a cry to a deity, and hers was one of lust and excitement.

  No longer able to contain himself, Miguel closed both hands around the side of her face and kissed her fiercely. He removed them only long enough to impatiently tug off his pants and underwear and crumple them in the floor, while his mouth never ceased its sweet sucking motion on her lips. When he replaced his hands on her body, he put them around her waist, and roamed down over her hips and buttocks. He hooked his thumbs in either side of her underwear and like magic they were off her body and at her ankles.

  Their promise to go slow and take their time was long forgotten by both of them. She stepped out of her panties, and Miguel, while still kissing her, slowly walked her backward toward the bed. When Justus felt the back of her knees hit the bed, she slowly lowered herself onto it. Miguel released her and allowed her to get comfortable on the bed.

  Neither of them moved. They simply stared at each other’s naked forms. Justus, for the first time in her life, felt absolutely no insecurities when Miguel’s eyes toured her body. Justus shivered as her eyes moved the length of Miguel’s physique. He was beautiful. When her eyes landed on his penis, she inadvertently licked her lips.

  He was completely hard, and indubitably male. He slowly lowered himself to the bed, and crept toward her sexily, like a lion closing in on its prey. He put both legs on either side of her and straddled her body while on his knees. He slowly lowered his head and kissed her naked flesh, softly on her collarbone. His lips trailed the length of her body, all the while Justus squirmed beneath him.

  He continued his low, soft murmurings in Spanish. The sound of his voice and the soft melodic way in which he spoke was enough to place Justus in a trance. She moaned when his tongue found her navel.

  “Miguel.”

  At the sound of his name on her lips he paused, and looked up into her face. Justus seized him by placing both of her hands on the sides of his head and virtually pulled him toward her. Once he was lying directly on top of her, she kissed him.

  “Miguel,” she cried again. She rubbed her hands down the length of his back and torso. Miguel must have realized she was telling him this was the moment. He wasted no time. He leaned over her and opened a drawer on his nightstand and grabbed a small plastic wrapped package. He ripped it open somewhat savagely with his teeth.

  ***

  Justus and Miguel lay tangled in a mass of limbs on his bed. She was wearing the kind of glow only a satisfied woman can. Eyes glassy, skin dewy, make up destroyed, hair irreparably and hopelessly tangled, and a large, lazy smile on her face. Despite her disheveled appearance, Miguel thought she had never looked more beautiful.

  He also thought the way she made love was beautiful and pure and unlike any he had ever encountered before. He had never experienced a total union of mind, body, spirit, lust, everything. Most of the time when he had sex it had been about love, and others it had been about hormones. However, he didn’t quite know how to label what had just happened.

  An act of God, maybe? Nah, he doubted that He was that interested in Miguel’s sex life. As Miguel’s fingers lazily strummed Justus’ hip, he knew that what he and Justus had shared was unique.

  It was something he had definitely never experienced before and from her reactions, she must’ve felt the same way. He knew he would more than likely never find what he had with Justus with anyone else. And that scared the hell out of him. From the sound of her steady, even breathing Miguel guessed Justus must have dozed off.

  After the workout they had shared, sleep sounded heavenly. He knew that his mind would continue to work on him in his sleep, and he would be forced to think about the inevitable once again when he awakened. He didn’t want to think about it, yet it was there constantly in the forefront of his mind. How was he ever going to be able to say goodbye to this amazing woman in two days? Even if it wasn’t a permanent goodbye, which he hoped it wouldn’t be.

  ***

  Justus woke up to find her face in the hollow of Miguel’s throat. She inhaled deeply and loved the smell of him. Cologne and sweat and Miguel. She kissed the base of his throat softly once, twice. Her hair tickled his nose, and he stirred.

  When he opened his eyes, he found hers in the darkness. She smiled at him expectantly.

  “Hi.”

  “Hola, mi amor,” he murmured sleepily.

  She continued to look at him with a look of hunger in her eyes.

  “What?” Then he must’ve realized what she wanted. “Again?”

  She nodded her head and giggled, while her mouth did wicked things to his nipple.

  “Okay, you’ve convinced me,” he said before seizing her mouth.

  They took leisure in their lovemaking this time. It had the same intensity as the first time, but their movements were less frenzied. Justus took her time exploring Miguel’s body with her mouth and hands, and vice versa. They learned each other.

  They became tuned to each other’s bodies, right down to each breath they took. When they climaxed at the same time, Justus received a chill throughout her whole body. It wasn’t merely from satisfaction. As she collapsed on top of Miguel she realized this was the first time she had ever experienced a simultaneous climax before. It had to be some sort of sign, with that thought in her head she drifted off to sleep with a smile on her face.

  ***

  Justus awoke to the sound of Miguel humming softly, while his hand glided over her hair. “Hey. So, what are you humming about? You’re awfully chipper this morning.”

  “Good morning to you, too. I have a reason to be chipper.”

  Justus chuckled because when Miguel said chipper, it sounded like ‘cheaper.’

  “Oh, and what reason is that?” Justus asked innocently.

  “I don’t know. Maybe it’s because a certain woman made me very happy last night.”

  Justus said nothing, and merely smiled. Her stomach growled ferociously, and it suddenly occurred to her the dinner she had picked at had taken place over twelve hours ago.

  “Are you hungry?”

  Miguel nodded his head while he yawned and disentangled his body from hers.

  “Do you want room service or would you like to go to one of the restaurants?”

  “Um, let’s go upstairs to the restaurants. Do you mind if I take a quick shower first, at my cabin?”

  “No, I�
�ll shower and come pick you up in about forty-five minutes?”

  “Okay,” she said to his back. While Miguel used the restroom and brushed his teeth, Justus hunted for her clothing scattered about the room. She felt strange putting on her cocktail dress at seven in the morning. Hopefully, she could make it back to her room without too many people seeing her disheveled state. And without waking Krystal. Thinking of the barrage of questions Krystal would no doubt unload on her, Justus groaned inwardly.

  When she was dressed and ready to walk out the door, Miguel was still in the bathroom. She knocked timidly on the door. He opened it, and she was surprised to see shaving cream on his face and a razor in his hand. She laughed in spite of herself.

  “I’ll see you in a little bit.”

  “See you.” He leaned in for a kiss, but Justus moved her head quickly.

  “Yuck, I don’t want that on my face.” But the sight of him was too much for her and she quickly relented. “Bye.”

  “Adios,” was Miguel’s distorted reply. He spoke out of the right side of his mouth, while he shaved his left.

  Justus left Miguel’s cabin feeling as if she were gliding, more than walking, toward her and Krystal’s room. For the first time since she could remember she felt completely at ease, not only with herself, but with everything in her life. Her mind felt relaxed, and at peace. She felt, what did she feel exactly? It was so hard to put into words, but she felt good. Damn good.

  She felt home. She felt as though all her life she had been searching for something, and she had finally found that something in Miguel. Some people would say she was in love. She knew that’s what Krystal would say.

  Somehow though, she didn’t care anymore. She didn’t care if Krystal made her face the truth which was yes, she was in fact, in love with Miguel. She didn’t care she was beaming from ear to ear like an idiot, and gushing like a schoolgirl. It felt good to be this way. To trust someone enough to know acting like this was okay, that allowing herself to feel everything was okay. It felt good to finally let go, and be herself with someone without worrying about them hurting her.

  She knew being hurt was a great possibility, but somehow she also knew there was no way Miguel was going to do that to her. As she approached her door, she slid the electronic card into the slot, and opened and closed the door as silently as possible.

  She opened the closet and pulled out the first thing she felt her hands on, a cotton dress, suitable for breakfast. After that, she stealthily moved toward the dresser and pulled out a clean pair of panties and a matching bra. She then surreptitiously went to the bathroom and showered, brushed her teeth and quickly braided her long, damp hair. She was waiting by the door when Miguel arrived, and anticipated his knock. She opened the door to find him with his fist poised in the air, and a surprised look on his face.

  They strolled to breakfast together hand in hand. From there the day went on, and Justus continued to feel more relaxed and at ease than she ever had before. After their breakfast, they toured the ship in leisure, and shopped at many of the stores on board.

  As they lay tanning on the lido deck, Justus loved the feel of the warm sun on her back. She lifted her head and glanced around, she was feeling thirsty. She spotted one of the waiters on the deck and flagged him over.

  “Are you thirsty?” Justus asked.

  “Mm-hm.” Miguel was lying on his back, one arm held over his face to keep the sun’s powerful rays from his eyes as he looked toward the waiter with Justus. The waiter was a cute, young guy and she was suddenly aware that lying on her stomach put her butt in plain sight to him. Justus felt self-conscious, but as if reading her mind, Miguel reached over and absent mindedly stroked her bottom.

  She smiled to herself, it seemed he always knew what to say and do at the right moment. He always knew what she felt, and thinking back upon last night, what she needed. Their waiter put speed to their order, and was back with their drinks within a matter of minutes. Justus sipped the frothy, tropical concoction, and noticed some men setting up equipment on the outdoor stage that was located to the left of the bar.

  “Do you know what they’re doing?”

  “Where, who?”

  “Those men, over there,” she pointed toward the stage.

  “Oh, probably a concert, they usually put on a salsa or reggae concert out here toward the end of the cruise, as a sort of farewell.”

  She was excited at the prospect. For one reason, because she enjoyed music and the second was she could probably sweet talk Miguel into dancing with her. The thought of being held in his arms while they danced together, perhaps for the last time on the ship, was bittersweet.

  “Want to get into the pool?” Miguel asked her.

  “Sure, last one in is a rotten egg,” she said as she laughed and ran toward the pool.

  They had a water fight in the pool, and were on the receiving end of strange stares from kids who weren’t accustomed to seeing adults act so childish. Miguel repeatedly dunked her underwater, and she in turn, splashed him wildly. However, once the band started playing, they quickly got out of the pool, and began drying.

  Miguel didn’t want to wait even that long, the reggae group opened with a rendition of a Bob Marley classic, and he couldn’t wait to dance. He grabbed Justus by the waist and literally hauled her toward the stage, without even giving her a chance to grab her sarong. At first she felt mortified at the thought of dancing in front of everyone in only her bathing suit.

  Once Miguel started grinding slowly, and moving his legs and pelvis seductively toward her, she forgot about everyone else. She rested her arms on top of his shoulders as he instructed her to, and got lost in the rhythm. She gently swayed to the steel drum and pounding bass beat, listening to the lilting, melodic sound of the singer’s voice.

  A few other couples had joined them on the make-shift dance floor, however Justus failed to notice. She saw only the man in front of her with the caramel skin, sensual mouth, sparkling eyes, and the erotic way he moved his beautiful body. She felt a heat wash over her, and she was quite sure it had nothing to do with the temperature on the lido deck.

  Never had she been so comfortable in not only her bathing suit, but in her own skin. She had avoided walking about the deck, or anywhere for that matter, in her suit the entire cruise. She always wore her shorts, a dress, sarong, or a towel. She was always covering up, always hiding, never showing who and what she really was.

  It was in that moment she knew she would tell Miguel about her life before she had moved to St. Louis. It was the life she had tried, unsuccessfully, to forget. The life that had left her emotionally scarred and insecure of almost her every move. She was ready to face things now, ready to become whole again and to start really living her life. She would tell him, tonight. No more hiding. No more running from the woman she was destined to be, the woman she knew deep in her soul that she already was.

  ***

  Miguel peered at himself in the mirror and wondered if he should shave for dinner or not. He decided he would, not because he gave a damn what anyone thought, but because he didn’t want to risk scratching Justus when he kissed her. He smiled to himself as he pictured the look on her face when they danced together this afternoon.

  She had looked up at him in that way of hers, the smile and look in her eyes both innocent and sensual. That was an incredible combination he had never experienced in a woman before. Justus was sexy without knowing it. She seemed to exude a quality that was alive and rich, and genuine. That was something that he didn’t find a lot of in Miami, genuine anything.

  He had noticed in getting to know her that this quality wasn’t something that she bestowed on everyone. It was only something that she shined on a select few, once she felt comfortable with them. Oh, and she was so damned beautiful. Justus didn’t seem concerned with the fact that she was beautiful, but her aloofness and almost disdain for it was what had kept him interested in her and made him want to know so much more of her.

  It still boggled his m
ind that an attractive woman didn’t use her beauty to try to manipulate men, and bend them to her every whim. In fact, Justus was not at all demanding. She was the exact opposite. That was only one of the reasons he loved her.

  He hung his head heavily over the sink, momentarily dejected at the thought of admitting it. He knew what he felt for Justus and he was somewhat sure that she felt the same for him. What he didn’t know was how he was going to go without seeing her after tomorrow. Something had to be done, there had to be a way for them to see each other again. They had to be together.

  He knew it wouldn’t be easy, especially with both of them heavily pursuing careers in separate parts of the country. He didn’t expect Justus to give up her job, and her dream, and come running to Miami to be with him. He certainly couldn’t up and leave Miami either. He had invested too much time there, made too many contacts, and he was so close to making his dreams come true. He had never been to St. Louis, but he knew enough about the Midwest to know that a Latin night club and dance studio wouldn’t be a financial success there.

  Therein lay Miguel’s dilemma. His dream and career was in Miami, but his heart would be in St. Louis.

  ***

  “Dinner was wonderful,” Justus murmured as she patted her full stomach.

  They had eaten and were now walking the ship, something that had become so familiar to them over the past week. It saddened her to think that this was the last time they would stroll the ship together. She stopped on a secluded corner of the boat and grasped the railing until her knuckles were white. She took in several deep, salty breaths.

  Mentally preparing herself for what she was about to tell Miguel hadn’t been easy. She had mulled It over in her mind all night. She knew that she wanted to tell Miguel and that somehow by telling him, even though it wasn’t necessary, would finally liberate her once and for all.

  “I never really knew my father,” she stated quietly.

  Miguel looked at her tenderly, although quizzically.

  “My parents, well, split up shortly after I was born and neither I nor my mother has seen him since. I’m telling you this because I’m sure you’re wondering why I have never spoken about my family this whole time.