Secrets According to Humphrey

by Betty G. Birney

  “Let’s talk about it at lunchtime,” Rosie said.

  As she rolled her wheelchair away, Sophie turned back to me. “Did you hear that? Isn’t that great?”

  “GREAT-GREAT-GREAT!” I agreed.

  Sophie leaned in close to my cage. “I still miss my old school and my best friend there—Annie. I keep asking my parents if we can move back.”

  I didn’t know that Sophie was new to Longfellow School or that she missed her best friend.

  “But if I have Rosie for a new best friend . . .” Sophie didn’t finish because the bell rang and class began.

  Mrs. Brisbane began the day with our HARD-HARD-HARD vocabulary words.

  At least now I knew that papyrus was like paper and that hieroglyphics was a way to write.

  And I knew that the pyramids were huge stone buildings and pharaohs were kings.

  That didn’t make those words any easier to spell, though.

  Mrs. Brisbane gave my friends papers where they had to fill in the blanks with the right words.

  Then she said, “Class, we’re taking a little break from ancient Egypt. It’s time to go to the library. If you have books to return, get them out now.”

  My classmates took their library books and lined up.

  Thomas had the most books. “Look, Mrs. Brisbane,” he said. “I’ve finished all of these.”

  “I want to check out a mummy book,” Simon said.

  “Me too!” Hurry-Up-Harry said. “And I’m going to get there first!”

  Usually, Simon is three steps ahead of Harry, but this time Harry was right by his side.

  Mrs. Brisbane smiled, and soon, Og and I were alone in the classroom again.

  As much as I like Og, I would rather have gone to the library with my friends. I’m too small to reach the tall shelves, but I like looking up at row after row of books.

  Tall books, small books, short books, long books. Books with pictures. Books without pictures. I only wished I could pick one out for myself.

  Every day, Mrs. Brisbane read aloud to the class. That was my favorite time of day—especially when it was an unsqueakably exciting story!

  When my friends came back, they were all clutching library books and chattering excitedly.

  “I got a mummy book!” Simon shouted as he rushed into the room.

  “I got one, too!” Harry held up his book.

  “So did I!” Nicole waved her book under Mrs. Brisbane’s nose. “See, there are great pictures!”

  Sometimes Not-Now-Nicole isn’t very patient.

  “I’ll look at it later,” Mrs. Brisbane told her.

  I never knew there were so many books about mummies!

  “I got a book all about what it was like to live in ancient Egypt,” Tall-Paul said.

  “Humphrey, I got a book about a hamster,” Stop-Talking-Sophie said as she passed by my cage. “Maybe I’ll read it to you!”

  “Please, do!” I squeaked and I meant it.

  All my friends seemed so excited about their books . . . except for one.

  Joey was the last to return to the classroom. He wasn’t smiling or chattering but he did have a small, thin book in his hand.

  “What book did you choose?” Mrs. Brisbane asked him.

  Joey wrinkled his nose and looked down at the book. “Um, just a book.”

  “What book?” I squeaked at the top of my lungs. Unfortunately, my voice isn’t very loud.

  “It’s, um, a book about, um, a rabbit,” he said softly.

  Mrs. Brisbane leaned down and looked at the book. “Oh, yes,” she said. “The New Adventures of Robot the Rabbit. Didn’t you read this before?”

  Joey stared down at his shoes. “Maybe I did. It was pretty good.”

  “It is good,” Mrs. Brisbane said. “But next time, try a new book. There are so many great ones in the library.”

  Joey didn’t look up. “Okay,” he said.

  Mrs. Brisbane patted him on the shoulder and Joey hurried back to his table.

  “A robot that is also a rabbit?” I squeaked.

  I didn’t mind Joey reading a book about a rabbit or a robot, but I minded him looking so unhappy. I guess Mrs. Brisbane felt the same way.

  When my classmates were rushing out of Room 26 for lunch, Mrs. Brisbane stopped Joey.

  “Can we talk alone for a minute?” she asked.

  He nodded.

  “Why don’t you eat your lunch here?” she asked. “Should I get you some milk?”

  Joey shook his head. “No, I have it in my lunch box.”

  Soon, Mrs. Brisbane and Joey were sitting at his table, eating their sandwiches.

  It was always funny to see Mrs. Brisbane sitting in a student chair. She wasn’t that tall for a human, and in a student chair she looked, well . . . almost like a student!

  “I have tuna,” Mrs. Brisbane said after taking a bite of her sandwich. “How about you?”

  Joey swallowed a bite of his sandwich. “Cheese,” he said.

  “So, Joey, I wanted to ask you about your library books,” she said. “The Robot Rabbit books are good, but you’ve read them already. Why do you like to read them over and over?”

  Joey took a bite out of his sandwich and spent a long time chewing it. “Robot the Rabbit’s funny,” he finally said. “And he has great adventures.”

  Mrs. Brisbane pushed a pile of yummy-looking carrot sticks toward Joey. “Have some,” she said.

  I wouldn’t have minded having a carrot myself! I guess loving carrots is something I have in common with rabbits. Though probably not robots.

  Joey took one and nibbled.

  “Did Mr. Fitch help you look for something new?” she asked.

  Mr. Fitch was the school librarian and he knew everything about books!

  “Yes,” Joey said. “He showed me a lot of books: a pirate book and a book about a soccer team and a book about landing on the moon.”

  “Those sound good.” Mrs. Brisbane crunched on her carrot.

  Joey didn’t say anything. They ate in silence for a minute.

  “If you tried something new, you could still read Robot the Rabbit books once in a while,” Mrs. Brisbane said.

  Joey put his sandwich down. “Maybe . . . I’m getting a little too old for them.”

  Mrs. Brisbane nodded. “I think you could try something at your reading level. What about a mummy book, like Simon and Harry and Nicole are reading?”

  Joey shook his head. I guess he wasn’t very interested in reading about mummies.

  I have to say, I don’t want to read books about mummies, either, because they sound unsqueakably scary!

  Mrs. Brisbane wiped her mouth with her napkin. “Joey, I’d like you to challenge yourself with your reading. Will you try?”

  Joey stared down at his desk, but he nodded his head. “Yes,” he whispered.

  “Great!” Mrs. Brisbane said.

  The bell rang and Mrs. Brisbane stood up.

  “I’m so glad we had this talk, aren’t you?”

  Joey nodded.

  I think Just-Joey is a very honest person, but at that moment, I’m not sure he was telling the truth.

  And then he spoke up. “Mrs. Brisbane? Maybe I’m not very good at reading.”

  Mrs. Brisbane looked surprised. “Really? Your grades could be a little better, but they’re not that bad.”

  Joey shrugged again. “I don’t know,” he said. “But when I read a book, I never seem to get anywhere.”

  Mrs. Brisbane looked at Joey for a while before she answered. “We’ll work on that,” she said. “Together.”

  Joey looked a little happier then.

  But I have to squeak the truth: I felt BAD-BAD-BAD.

  “You won’t tell anybody, will you? About my not liking to read?” Joey asked.

>   “No, it will be our little secret,” Mrs. Brisbane answered.

  After school was over, I jiggled my lock-that-doesn’t-lock and scrambled over to Og’s tank.

  “I can’t imagine not liking to read,” I squeaked.

  As soon as I said it, I realized something. I can read (because I’m an unsqueakably smart hamster) but Og probably can’t. Not because he’s not smart. It’s because he’s a frog—and books don’t hold up well in water!

  “I’ve got to find a book Joey likes,” I said.

  “BOING-BOING!” Og agreed.

  But I’d have to wait until later that night, after Aldo left.

  As soon as Aldo came into the room, he said, “Guys, I really want to tell somebody my big secret.”

  “Tell us!” I squeaked. “Please!”

  “I promised Maria I wouldn’t tell anybody yet,” he said. “But I’m about to burst!”

  “Don’t burst!” I said. “That sounds messy!”

  In the end, though, Aldo didn’t tell us his secret.

  And Mrs. Brisbane didn’t tell me her secret about what student would be leaving.

  Not knowing someone’s secret can make you feel terrible.

  I’d seen the look on Rosie’s face when she saw Phoebe and Kelsey with their secret signal and heard about their club.

  And yet, I had my own secret: a secret mission.

  I had to find a book for Joey.

  And it couldn’t be about Robot the Rabbit.

  HUMPHREY’S TOP SECRET SCRIBBLES

  Sometimes you have to LOOK-LOOK-LOOK

  To find the very perfect book.

  6

  Secret Books, Secret Looks

  When I got to the library, I was tempted to look at the Secrets of the Nile video again, but I was there to find a book for Joey.

  It wouldn’t be easy. I wasn’t even sure what kind of book he would like.

  And even if I knew, how would I possibly find the right one in the rows and rows and rows of books in the library?

  “Don’t mind me,” I greeted the fish swimming in the glowing tank. “I’m here to get a book.”

  I REALLY-REALLY-REALLY hoped that I would find the right book for Joey.

  And I REALLY-REALLY-REALLY hoped it would be on the bottom shelf, because it would be unsqueakably hard—or even impossible—to get to the high shelves.

  Even just looking at the books on the lowest shelves would take a long time, because the library is a big place.

  And it’s not easy to read the titles when you’re a small hamster on the floor and the names of the books on the shelves are sideways. I have to squinch my neck to one side to read them.

  As I scurried along, I noticed that books were grouped together by subject. All the art books were together. All the history books were together. And all the sports books were together.

  Mr. Fitch was a very smart man to think of that!

  But then suddenly all the books were different and I couldn’t make sense of the titles. They weren’t alike at all.

  When I saw a Robot Rabbit title, I realized that these books weren’t about real things, like the art books and the history books. These books were stories!

  Fiction. That’s what the big label above the shelves said.

  But the names on the books, next to the titles, were all grouped together.

  So there were the B names: Babcock, Bedarski, Benjamin, Bowman.

  Farther on, there were the K names: Kantor, Kelly, Kendricks.

  Those must be the authors’ names and they were in the order of the alphabet, so BE came ahead of BO. And KA came before KE.

  Mr. Fitch was even smarter than I thought before. I’ll bet he can find any book in the library.

  But could I find the right book for Joey?

  I spent a good part of the night roaming around the library, hoping I’d see something that Joey would like.

  When I saw light coming through the library windows, I scurried back to Room 26.

  “I’m back!” I squeaked as I slid under the door.

  “BOING-BOING-BOING!” Og sounded excited.

  I glanced up at the clock.

  Mrs. Brisbane would be arriving soon!

  I raced across the floor as fast as my legs could carry me, hopped up to grab the bottom of the long blinds’ cord, and began swinging and swinging until I was level with the table.

  Then I let go and leaped to the tabletop.

  “I didn’t find a book for Joey,” I squeaked to Og as I hurried to my cage. “But I learned something about the library. I’ll tell you later.”

  I closed the door behind me and dived under my bedding.

  Just then, I heard Mrs. Brisbane say, “Good morning, Humphrey and Og.”

  I squeaked weakly and promptly went to sleep.

  I took a longer nap than usual and when I woke up, Room 26 was buzzing with activity.

  My friends had split up into their groups and were working on their projects.

  Tall-Paul, Felipe and Holly were using modeling clay to make something that looked like a boat that curved up on the ends. They were with the Traders.

  Sophie, Nicole and Small-Paul were in the group lining up jars and bottles of different sizes that would be painted. Of course—they were the Artists.

  I knew that Phoebe was a Scribe, so the squiggly things she was drawing along with Cassie, Thomas and Daniel must have been the figures for the alphabet.

  The Builders were using blocks of different sizes to make pyramids, but they were having a hard time getting the right shape.

  “Slow-Down-Simon,” Kelsey said. “We need to start over because it’s going to be too small.”

  “Yeah. We want a BIG pyramid,” Rolling-Rosie reminded him.

  “Okay,” Simon said.

  Then Rosie did a very odd thing. She looked over at Sophie and, when she caught her eye, she circled her hand around her face, touched her shoulders with both hands and nodded. Sophie did the exact same thing. And then they both giggled!

  I wasn’t the only one who noticed.

  “What are you doing?” Kelsey asked.

  “Oh, it’s just a secret sign for our club,” Rosie said.

  Kelsey looked surprised.

  “What club?” Simon asked.

  “I can’t tell you because you’re not in it,” Rosie said.

  Simon shrugged.

  “You’re copying Phoebe and me,” Kelsey said. “You don’t even know what our club is about.”

  “And you don’t know what our club is about,” Rosie replied. “There’s Sophie and Cassie and me, so far.”

  “Come on. We’ll never get anywhere if we don’t get this started,” Simon complained.

  “BOING-BOING!” Og twanged.

  “I know,” I squeaked back. “Rosie was upset when Kelsey and Phoebe wouldn’t let her in the club, so she made up her own. But none of them are acting very nice.”

  I glanced around the room. The Artists seemed to be a lot happier than the Builders.

  Just-Joey seemed to be the happiest of all.

  “I’m going to make a lion, because that’s my favorite animal,” he said.

  “That’s good,” Small-Paul said. “The Egyptians decorated a lot of things with animals.”

  “I’m sure glad I’m an Artist then,” Joey said. “Because I like animals a lot. I think they’re more interesting than people.”

  “Oh, no!” I squeaked loudly. “Humans are incredibly interesting!”

  “Well, I want to put flowers on my jar,” Sophie said.

  “Flowers?” Small-Paul replied. “I don’t think the Egyptians did that.”

  Suddenly, I heard a lot of laughing and looked over at the Scribes.

  “I’ve got another one,” I heard Thomas say. “What did the pyramid say
to the baby pyramid?”

  “What?” Cassie asked.

  “How’s your mummy?”

  Everyone laughed again, including me.

  “How about this one? Why are mummies good at their jobs? Because they get wrapped up in their work!” Thomas said.

  That got an even bigger laugh.

  “Where did you learn all these mummy jokes?” Daniel asked.

  “In a joke book. I love joke books,” Thomas said. “I love all kinds of books.”

  “So do I,” Daniel said. “Can I look at yours?”

  “Sure,” Thomas said. “Hey, here’s another one: What do you call a mummy who eats cookies in bed?”

  “I know that one,” Daniel replied. “A crummy mummy!”

  Mrs. Brisbane came over to remind them to work on their hieroglyphics.

  When she turned away, I saw Phoebe look over at Kelsey. She waved her right hand, wiggled her fingers and winked.

  “What was that, Phoebe?” Mrs. Brisbane asked.

  I guess she saw her out of the corner of her eye.

  Phoebe swallowed hard. “I was waving to Kelsey.”

  “That’s a funny way to wave,” Mrs. Brisbane said, but she didn’t say anything more.

  She continued on to the Artists’ group. “You’re making a lot of progress,” she said. “I can already tell that’s a lion you’re making, Joey.”

  “Do you like my flowers, Mrs. Brisbane?” Sophie asked. “I’m going to make them all different colors.”

  “I do, Sophie,” Mrs. Brisbane said. “But I’m not sure if the ancient Egyptians actually put flowers on their jars. Joey, why don’t you go ask Mr. Fitch if he has more books with pictures of ancient Egyptian jars? Or something to show what kind of animals they had in Egypt back then.”

  Joey looked surprised. “He’d have a book like that?”

  “I think so,” Mrs. Brisbane said. “Just ask him.”

  Joey actually looked happy as he headed out the door.

  He looked even happier when he came back with a BIG-BIG-BIG book.

  “Wait till you see,” he told the other Artists. “Falcons and baboons and jackals!”

  He pointed to pictures in the books while Sophie and Small-Paul leaned in around him.

  I was glad there was at least one book Joey liked.