Secrets According to Humphrey

by Betty G. Birney

  But I still wanted to find him a book with a story in it that he liked.

  One that wasn’t about Robot the Rabbit.

  “We should have a meeting for our secret club,” Rosie told Sophie and Cassie when they came back from lunch. “Here’s the sign for when we want to have a meeting.”

  Then Rosie tapped the top of her head three times.

  Sophie and Cassie giggled and tapped their heads three times.

  Tall-Paul was listening to them talking, and soon I heard him ask Small-Paul if he wanted to start a secret club.

  “We could make up a code and a secret signal. We could even make it Egyptian,” Tall-Paul explained. “Maybe Felipe could be in it, too.”

  “Great idea! But we need a name,” Small-Paul said. “How about the Flying Pharaohs?”

  Tall-Paul nodded and the two boys huddled together, so I couldn’t hear any more.

  “What’s going on?” Thomas asked as he headed toward his table.

  Tall-Paul and Small-Paul looked at each other, then looked at Thomas.

  “Nothing,” Tall-Paul said.

  “Nothing,” Small-Paul said.

  Luckily, just then Mrs. Brisbane told everyone to take a seat so she could give out the homework assignment.

  I was unsqueakably surprised when I heard what it was.

  The homework was a riddle, but this riddle wasn’t about a mummy.

  It was about the Sphinx.

  I loved learning about the pyramids with their treasures inside. I thought the mummy jokes were funny. And I loved pictures of the graceful boats that sailed down the Nile.

  But I didn’t like to think about that Sphinx. Especially after the dream I’d had.

  “Class, remember that there was a Sphinx in ancient Greece? The Sphinx was usually shown as a female in Greece and a male in Egypt. And the Greek Sphinx always had a riddle.”

  Thomas raised his hand and Mrs. Brisbane called on him.

  “I remember that the Sphinx guarded the city and if a stranger came and couldn’t answer the riddle, something really bad happened.”

  “That’s right,” Mrs. Brisbane said. “And your homework for tonight is to solve one. Here is what the Sphinx asked: What creature walks on four legs in the morning, two legs in the afternoon and three legs in the evening?”

  Most of my classmates turned and looked at Thomas.

  He just shrugged. “That one wasn’t in the books I read.”

  Mrs. Brisbane wrote the riddle on the board and my friends copied it down.

  I’m usually sad to see the other students leave at the end of the day, but that day, I was almost glad when the classroom was empty.

  I didn’t want to see any more of my friends whispering.

  I didn’t want to see any more of my other friends feeling left out.

  And I wanted to work on the riddle.

  Mrs. Brisbane had already left, so I reached up behind my mirror for my notebook.

  Suddenly, the door to the room opened, which surprised me, because it was way too early for Aldo to come in and clean.

  I scrambled to the front of my cage and saw Ms. Mac coming toward me.

  Ms. Mac is the wonderful human who brought me to Room 26 in the first place.

  She was the one who told me that the students would learn a lot from me. She even told me I was handsome and smart.

  I didn’t know she was a substitute teacher, so when she left, my heart was broken.

  She was away a LONG-LONG-LONG time. But then she came back to teach first grade at Longfellow School and my heart feels a lot better now.

  I love all my friends and Mrs. Brisbane, too. But no one understands me like Ms. Mac.

  “Hey, Humphrey.” She smiled as she leaned in close to the cage. “How’s my buddy?”

  There she was, with her bouncy black curls and her big dark eyes. She still smelled like apples.

  I love apples and I love Ms. Mac.

  “HI-HI-HI!” I greeted her.

  Og bounced up and down. “BOING-BOING!”

  “Oh, Og, I didn’t mean to forget you. How’s my favorite frog?” she asked.

  It was fine with me if Og happened to be Ms. Mac’s favorite frog. If she’d said he was her favorite animal, though, I might feel a little bit jealous.

  Ms. Mac turned back to me. “Humphrey, I have a secret to tell you. I love teaching first grade now, but I miss you!”

  My whiskers quivered a little. “I miss you, too, Ms. Mac,” I squeaked.

  “I thought of getting another hamster, but to tell you the truth, I don’t think there’s a hamster in the world that can measure up to you,” she said.

  My tail wiggle-waggled.

  “But I think the students in Room Twelve deserve a classroom pet. It would help them.” Ms. Mac sighed. “Maybe I’ll get something different, like a turtle.”

  Turtles are nice but they are extremely slow. It would take a long time for a turtle to teach students anything!

  “Anyway, I’ve been thinking about you a lot, so I stopped by to say ‘Hi’ and tell you I miss you,” she said. “I’ll come see you again soon.”

  “YES-YES-YES, please do!” I told her.

  She started to leave, but then turned back. “You know I wouldn’t forget this,” she said as she reached into her coat pocket.

  She opened the door to my cage and left a generous piece of apple on my bedding.

  “Enjoy,” she said.

  I couldn’t wait to sink my teeth into its crunchy sweetness.

  “I will,” I squeaked.

  Ms. Mac smiled. “Oh, and please don’t tell anybody what I said. It’s just our little secret.”

  HUMPHREY’S TOP SECRET SCRIBBLES

  The Sphinx and her riddle give me quite a fright.

  To solve her ancient secret, I might stay up all night!

  7

  Secret Pages

  Og, you heard her secret, too,” I squeaked to my neighbor once we were alone.

  Og splashed loudly.

  “She said no other hamster can measure up to me,” I said.

  “BOING-BOING!”

  I was pretty sure Og agreed with her.

  “But she still might get a class hamster.” I swallowed hard. “I’m sorry to say that bothers me.”

  “BOING-BOING-BOING!” Og sounded bothered, too.

  “Of course, she might get a frog,” I continued.

  Og suddenly leaped so high out of the water part of his tank, he almost popped its top.

  “BOING!!!!”

  I guess he didn’t like the idea of Ms. Mac getting a frog, either.

  “There are so many secrets going on, my head is spinning like a hamster wheel,” I complained. “And then there’s that Riddle of the Sphinx! How on earth could the same creature walk on four legs in the morning, two feet in the afternoon and three feet in the evening?”

  Really, it was perfectly ridiculous! Who ever heard of any creature walking on three legs?

  “If you think of the answer, let me know!” I squeaked to Og.

  Of course, even if he knew the answer, all I would hear would be BOING-BOING-BOING!

  I was glad that Aldo worked quickly that night, because I needed time to answer the Riddle of the Sphinx for my homework. I also needed to find a book that Joey would love.

  I hoped I could solve both of those problems in the same place: the library!

  “Here I go, Og,” I squeaked as I slid under the door. “Wish me luck!”

  Even in the hallway, I could hear his loud “BOING-BOING!”

  It didn’t take me long to scurry down the hallways of Longfellow School to reach the library.

  “Hi! It’s me—Humphrey,” I announced to the fish when I arrived in the library.

  They floated around in their glowing ta
nk as if they didn’t notice me, so I went right to work.

  First, I needed to find out what kind of creature walked on four legs in the morning, two legs in the afternoon and three legs in the evening.

  There are plenty of four-legged creatures, from elephants to hamsters!

  And there are some two-legged animals, such as humans.

  But I’ve never seen a three-legged animal or even a picture of one.

  Even if I couldn’t pull the big heavy books off the shelves, I might get an idea from the titles.

  I scurried over to where I’d seen rows of animal books on my last visit. There they were: elephants and tigers and hippopotamuseses. (I know I didn’t get that right but I tried.)

  They all had numbers that started with 5 on them.

  Those animals walk on four legs in the morning but I couldn’t picture them on two legs in the afternoon!

  There were books about birds. They walk on two legs in the afternoon, but they don’t have four legs ever!

  And then there were scary creatures, such as snakes, that don’t have legs at all!

  Come to think of it, neither did my fish friends in the library.

  But none of them—from aardvarks to foxes to leopards to squirrels to woodchucks—walked on three legs!

  I was puzzled because I didn’t see hamsters and frogs in that section, but I found them later in another section. No animals there had three legs, either.

  I wasn’t even getting close to answering the Riddle of the Sphinx, but I never realized there were so many interesting animals in the world! Hyenas, ocelots and prairie dogs! (I’m not too fond of dogs, though these looked more like hamsters.)

  Then I had an idea about my other quest. “Joey likes rabbits. And he loves his dog. Oh, and he likes Og and me, too!” I squeaked out loud. “I think he’d like to read about animals. He was so happy to get the book about creatures in ancient Egypt.”

  That could be it!

  The fish opened and closed their mouths, but I didn’t hear a thing.

  Were they trying to tell me something? Maybe they could help me find an animal book for Joey. They ought to know the library pretty well. After all, they are library fish.

  I scampered over, closer to their tank. “Can you hear me?” I squeaked at the top of my tiny lungs.

  They did have a glass wall and all that water around them—maybe they couldn’t hear me.

  “The thing is, I need to find an animal story that Joey will like,” I shouted. “He REALLY-REALLY-REALLY likes animals! I’m sure he likes fish, too!”

  Their mouths opened and closed, but nothing came out that I could hear.

  The tank was on a shelf behind the big desk where people check out books.

  If I could only get a little closer to the tank, maybe the fish could hear me. But the desk was much taller than a regular desk. How could one small hamster get to the top?

  I hurried around the back of the desk, where the librarian sat to check out books. There was a tall stool with long legs, but there was no way I could pull myself up to the top.

  Then I noticed that there were many, many drawers on this side of the desk. And Mr. Fitch had left some of them open. In fact, he had left most of them open.

  Maybe he’d been in a hurry.

  I started to come up with a Plan. And maybe, just maybe, my Plan would work.

  I reached up with my front paws stretched toward the handle of the drawer closest to the floor and took hold.

  Got it! I managed to swing one of my back paws up on the handle. Then I reached one of my front paws up to the edge of the drawer, made sure I had a firm grip and pulled myself up. Now I was standing with my back paws on the handle and my front paws on the edge of the drawer.

  I swung my rear end back and forth until I was even with the top of the drawer and let go. Made it! I landed on a tall stack of notepads.

  Standing on my tippy toes, I grabbed the handle of the next drawer up.

  I pulled myself up, vaulted over the top of the drawer and landed—plop—right in a box of tissues! That was a lucky break.

  I rested for a few seconds, then used the tissues like a bouncy trampoline and bounced high enough for me to grab hold of the handle of the next drawer up.

  Made it! This drawer had a stack of tins marked “Stamp Pad” and a set of rubber stamps labeled “Donated By,” “Do Not Remove from Library” and “Reference Only.”

  They were unsqueakably interesting but I was only halfway up the desk, so I reached UP-UP-UP and pulled myself to the next drawer. This one had stacks of little notes printed with “Hold For” and “Past Due Notice.”

  Forgetful-Phoebe and Hurry-Up-Harry had received a few of those Past Due notes, because they never managed to return their books on time.

  Unfortunately, when I reached the next drawer, I fell into a jumble of things: paper clips and staples, a bottle of glue, pushpins—ouch—glad I didn’t step on them! There were big clips and small clips, a box of labels, some batteries and a wrinkled piece of paper that turned out to be fire drill instructions.

  The books in Mr. Fitch’s library are very organized, but I think he needs to organize his drawers a bit!

  I was almost to the top, so I took a deep breath, and grabbed onto the edge of the desk. Then I PULLED-PULLED-PULLED myself up and there I was, sitting on top of the tall desk along with stacks of books, a telephone, a computer and several pencils.

  Right behind me was the fish tank, glowing so brightly the light hurt my eyes.

  I rested for a few seconds, chewing on the bit of celery I had tucked away in my cheek pouch.

  When I felt stronger, I scurried closer to the fish tank and looked up.

  My, the fish were very beautiful. They were blue, pink, orange and yellow. There were striped fish and fish with polka dots.

  I stared and stared as they circled around the tank, opening and closing their mouths.

  I remembered my Plan and so I began to shout. “Fish friends, I am a classroom hamster. One of my classmates, Joey, doesn’t think he likes books. I think he would love an animal story from the fiction section. You live in the library. Do you have any ideas?”

  They kept on circling and opening and closing their mouths.

  One of them, with a bright blue body and white stripes, caught my eye.

  “Did you hear me?” I shouted.

  If I kept it up, I’d probably lose my voice.

  Still looking at me, he opened and closed his mouth.

  It looked as if he were talking but I couldn’t hear anything but the BUBBLE-BUBBLE-BUBBLE sound the tank made.

  I sighed. I was disappointed to learn that the fish weren’t going to be helpful at all.

  I’d worked very hard to get up to the top of the desk and my Plan failed.

  So I sat for a while, trying to figure out what to do next.

  I didn’t want to see the fish opening and closing their mouths but saying nothing, so I turned away.

  That’s when I started to notice the books that were stacked on the checkout desk.

  Some of them had wonderful titles, such as If You Lived on the Moon, and The Mysterious Magic Wand. I’m not sure if I’d like to live on the moon, but I’d like to read about it. And if I had a magic wand, helping my friends would be a lot easier!

  I walked around to see the other books on the desk.

  A book about a girl with funny red braids that stuck straight out from her head.

  A book about rocks.

  But the next book I saw got my attention.

  There was a little boy on the dark red cover. He had big eyes, just like Joey’s.

  And he was surrounded by animals: a bear, a snake, a panther and a tiger!

  The Jungle Book was the title and it was written by someone with a very strange name (at least to me). It was Rudyard Kipling. />
  A boy who lives in the jungle and is friends with the animals? All kinds of animals?

  That sounded like a book Joey would like.

  But how could a small hamster like me get a great big book to Room 26?

  I sighed. My Plan had a giant glitch, because I’m so tiny. Joey might never get this book that was perfect for him!

  Then, I remembered my trip up the drawers.

  I’d seen rubber stamps and paper clips and sharp pushpins.

  And I’d also seen those notes that said “Hold For.”

  It wasn’t easy, but I managed to hop my way back down one drawer.

  There they were! “Hold For” notes.

  I carefully pulled one off the top, held it in my teeth, and pulled myself up to the next drawer and back to the desktop.

  I set the “Hold For” note on the desk and I grabbed a pencil.

  I’m used to writing with the tiny pencil that goes with my notebook. This was a BIG-BIG-BIG pencil, but I could lift it with two paws.

  It wasn’t easy—and it took a long time—but I managed to write Joey’s name.

  My writing was small and shaky, but I was pleased when I looked at the note and saw:

  HOLD FOR:

  Joey

  Rm. 26

  I crossed my toes hard.

  “Wish me luck!” I squeaked to the fish.

  They didn’t answer, but maybe they glowed a little more brightly.

  Then I started my slow climb down the drawers, across the library floor and under the door, back to Room 26.

  Back to the place I love best of all!

  When I got back, I was too tired to tell Og everything that had happened.

  “Cross your fingers, um, paws, um, webbed feet that my Plan will work,” I said.

  Og splashed around as I hurried back to the safety of my cage.

  A little nap would have been nice, but I had too much on my mind. I pulled my notebook out from behind my little mirror.

  I hadn’t solved the Riddle of the Sphinx.

  I wasn’t sure if Joey would ever get The Jungle Book.

  But I’d done my best and I had other things on my mind.

  I opened my little notebook and began to write.