The Secret Story

by Cathy Hopkins

  Sometimes I hate my sister.

  ‘Have you introduced Daniel to Izzie, TJ and Nesta yet?’ asked Mum as she served up supper – spag bol with soya mince.

  ‘Tomorrow,’ I said. ‘TJ’s busy but Nesta and Izzie are coming to Notting Hill Gate with us.’

  Lal wrapped his arms round himself and made loud slurpy noises which I think were supposed to represent kissing. I ignored him. I have found that the best method to deal with most juvenile boys is to take no notice of their stupidity. That and a good thump to the solar plexus every now and again.

  I’d had the most amazing time with Daniel since I’d met him in Cornwall. Best of all, it had turned out that he didn’t live far from us in London so we had been able to meet up loads. In the last few weeks, we had done London as tourists and, seeing as both of us are into fashion and design, we’d done art galleries and exhibitions and some posh clothes shops. He seemed to know about so many things and I was learning so much from him.

  I could have introduced him to my mates but I hadn’t wanted to share him at first. It was only in the last week I had been missing my friends – but it was hard to make plans to see Izzie, TJ or Nesta because Daniel always had an itinerary for us. He was so sweet, sending me text messages saying what we could do the next day, five minutes after he’d left me. And he’d bought me a little teddy bear because he said it reminded him of me. He was so romantic and was the perfect remedy to help me get over Tony. In fact, I’d hardly thought about him at all.

  I was watching a DVD on Saturday evening when Nesta came in to the living room, threw down her bag then flung herself back on to the sofa.

  ‘Where have you been?’ I asked.

  ‘Notting Hill,’ she snapped.

  ‘Wow, you’re in a strop.’

  She crossed her arms and glowered. ‘So would you be.’

  ‘Why? Been dumped by Simon?’

  ‘No. As if,’ she said then she looked up at me. ‘I don’t know if I should tell you this . . . ’

  ‘Don’t then,’ I said. I knew she would. I could see a mile off that she was bursting to unload something.

  ‘OK, but you must never ever tell Lucy I told you.’

  Lucy. I paused the movie. ‘Cross my heart, your secret is safe with me.’

  Nesta sat up. ‘She is going out with this total loser.’

  ‘Loser?’ I tried to keep the enthusiasm out of my voice. ‘I thought he was supposed to be God’s gift.’

  ‘OK, not loser – granted, he is very good-looking, but boy, doesn’t he know it? I lost count of the number of times I caught him checking his reflection in a shop window.’

  ‘Really?’ Inwardly I punched the air. I hadn’t liked the idea of Lucy dating Mr Perfect Pants. What Nesta was saying was music to my ears.

  ‘Yeah and he was all over her in a really creepy way – but the sad thing is that Lucy can’t even see it. He’s so full of himself, like when we met, we asked him about himself but he didn’t ask one thing – not one question back about us.’

  I laughed. ‘Yeah I can see that would be very annoying for you, sis.’

  ‘Shut it. He lectured us all afternoon about what he knew about fashion and you know what? Lucy let him. She knew all that stuff he was telling us but she kept shtoom like it was new to her. She was acting like a total doormat pathetic drip and that’s not Luce. For example, he ordered for her in a café. He ordered an espresso for her.’

  ‘But she hates strong coffee.’

  ‘Exactly. And he had his arm round her the whole time and was kissing her and holding her hand. Honestly, Tone, it was well nauseating.’

  ‘Not feeling jealous are you, by any chance?’

  ‘No way. Ask Izzie, she thought he was yuk too. Izzie also said that a mate of Ben’s is going out with one of Daniel’s exes and apparently she said that Daniel could be difficult, like he was sweet in the beginning and then possessive and clingy in the end, telling her what to do, what to wear, who she could and couldn’t see. I think Lucy may be dating a potential psychopathic stalker.’

  ‘I think if she’s dating him willingly then he can’t be a stalker,’ I commented.

  ‘You know what I mean. He’s taking her over. Today was the first time in weeks that we have seen her. She has totally neglected her girlfriends for this arrogant plonker.’

  ‘Er . . . don’t hold back, Nesta.’

  ‘I won’t. I don’t like him. She’s gone into a couple bubble with him and it’s not as if the rest of us don’t have boyfriends, we do, but we still know that mates come first every time.’

  ‘Ah, so that’s what it’s about. You’re missing your mate.’

  ‘Yeah, course, but I don’t like him either and I don’t think he’s good for Lucy.’

  ‘That’s a shame,’ I said then clicked the movie back on like I was totally bored. In my head though, a choir was singing the hallelujah chorus.

  I met the man himself a few days later. I’d nipped into Hampstead to find a card for Mum’s birthday and there was Lucy on the opposite side of the road. It was the first time I had seen her all through the holidays because the girls hadn’t been over for one of their sleepovers lately. Nesta said that they liked to hang out at Izzie’s in the summer because her mum and stepfather were always at work so they had the run of the place, plus Mrs Foster’s house had the biggest garden. Anyway, there she was in a white T-shirt and shorts, cute as ever.

  ‘Hey Lucy,’ I called, then wondered if she was still mad with me and might blank me, but no, she waved so I crossed the road.

  ‘Hi, how are you?’ she asked.

  ‘Good. Are you speaking to me then?’

  ‘Yeah, course.’

  ‘I tried ringing you . . . ’

  ‘I know. Um, sorry . . . ’

  She looked great, a bit of tan which made her blue eyes stand out and her hair was bleached lighter than usual from the sun. So cute.

  ‘So what you doing?’ I asked.

  She held up a Ryman’s bag. ‘Not much. Just picked these up then I was going to have a wander around the shops.

  ‘Let’s go and get a drink and catch up, then,’ I said and I linked her arm through mine. ‘I haven’t seen you in ages.’

  We walked down to the Coffee Cup and got a table outside on the pavement. I ordered a Coke. ‘What would you like?’ I asked.

  ‘Blackcurrant,’ she said, pulling a face as a waitress went by with a tiny coffee cup. ‘Definitely not espresso.’

  I didn’t let on that I knew why she’d said that. ‘No. Way too bitter, I think.’

  ‘Me too.’

  ‘You’re looking good.’

  ‘So are you. Been out in the sun?’

  I nodded. ‘So, Nesta tells me that you have a new boyfriend.’

  ‘Sort of. And you’re still with your girlfriend?’

  ‘Sort of. Actually, no. That’s over. Um, she doesn’t know yet, though. I don’t know how to tell her but . . . nah, it’s not working.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘You know me, I’m not really into having the big relationship. You know, the world of coupledom. And she, well, she’s getting a bit heavy, if you know what I mean. Always wanting to see me, like every day, and always phoning wanting to know what I’m doing.’

  Lucy nodded like she knew exactly what I meant. ‘Too clingy?’

  ‘Yeah, I feel like she’s taking over my life.’

  ‘Yeah,’ Lucy said.

  ‘So how’s it going with what’s-his-name?’ I said, even though I knew exactly what his name was.

  ‘Daniel. Not sure . . . I mean, it was great in the beginning – brilliant, but . . . I don’t know. Same thing really. He wants to do the couple bubble thing, just us in there. I don’t know if I like it all the time.’

  ‘We got on though, didn’t we?’ I asked.

  She smiled back at me and I felt a rush of chemistry. ‘We did. And I’m sorry I over-reacted when you . . . you know, that time in Highgate. I hope we can be mates.’

  I
put my hand over hers. ‘You bet. Always. We get on, we always have. I tell you what, we’ll be lovers who used to go out and now we’re best of friends.’ I knew I was still coming out with the ‘let’s be friends’ line but so was she and I felt we both really meant it. It wasn’t a fob off.

  ‘Yeah, best of friends,’ she replied, smiling warmly at me.

  ‘Who fancy each other a bit.’ I knew I was flirting but there was no denying the chemistry was still there.

  She laughed and rolled her eyes. ‘Yeah. A bit.’

  I laughed too. She was so easy to be with. Fun. Not like Nicky who was so intense and lately coming out with those four words that terrify all boys: we need to talk.

  ‘So, this new bloke is clingy, is he?’ I asked. Across the road, I was aware of a tall blond boy who had done a double take when he saw Lucy and I sitting together.

  ‘Yeah. Always wanting to know what I’m doing, where I’m going. I feel like he’s always checking up on me.’

  ‘Like that boy over there,’ I said and nodded at blond boy. ‘He’s staring at you. You’ve got an admirer.’

  Lucy glanced over then stiffened. She waved and beckoned whoever it was over. He darted through the traffic and came to stand awkwardly besides us.

  ‘Tony, this is Daniel,’ said Lucy. ‘Daniel, Tony.’

  Ah, so this is Mr Perfect Pants. I had to admit he was reasonably good-looking, but he looked so serious. Not fun by anyone’s standards. I gave him a half-smile. ‘Sit down, join us.’

  Daniel shifted about on his feet but he seemed reluctant to sit. Oops, I thought. Time to make myself scarce. I got up.

  ‘Actually I was just off,’ I said. I leaned over and kissed Lucy on the cheek. ‘See you soon, Lucy.’

  As I walked away I turned back and gave her a look as if to say, ‘You’re in trouble, girl.’ She gave me a half-nod with her chin. She didn’t look happy. I carried on my way then turned back after a few moments. It looked like Lucy and Daniel were quarrelling. I felt bad. I didn’t want to ruin things for her but it had been dislike on sight with Daniel and witnessing the body language, even from a distance, I could see that Dan the Man was soon going to be history.

  Lucy’s Diary

  7th September

  Full circle. Almost the enda of the hols. Can’t believe the summer’s over. It all goes by too fast. I started off the hols as a singleton and I am a singleton again. So is Izzie. And so is Nesta! TJ’s still dating my brother but as Nesta said, just give them time. Cynic. I think they may last quite a lot longer – I’ve never seen Steve so serious about a girl before.

  Nesta got dumped – probably the first time ever. Simon’s going to uni soon and he felt that it woudn’t be fair to both of them if they were stuck in a long distance relationship. She was pretty cut up about it at first because she knew what he was saying – that he wants to be free to meet other girls. Then Nesta realised that it also meant that she could be free to meet other boys. She’s a survivor is Nesta and never stays down for long.

  Iz broke up with Ben because she was getting bored of only doing band stuff plus she feels she doesn’t want to be tied down just yet. Her and Ben have stayed good mates.

  And I dumped Daniel. My first time as a dumper! I felt pretty rotten about it, but that day in Hampstead seeing Dan next to Tony, I just knew that for me there was no comparison. I really didn’t like the way he’d been acting over the last week we were together, telling me that I spent too much time with my friends, and he’d get really uptight if I talked on the phone to one of them even for just a minute when he was there – like he wanted my total attention all the time. He’s been in touch since and even sent flowers and another teddy and I told him to stop. And actually it’s been nice to be free to hang out with Izzie, Nesta and TJ again. Tomorrow night we’re having a singles only, no boys, survivors’ night. Actually one boy is allowed and that’s Lal. He confessed to me that he’s been in love with Nesta for ages. I really feel for him because I know that Nesta would never fancy him. She likes older boys and Lal just isn’t her type. I didn’t tell him that, but I did say he could come to the party.

  The girls and I all got ready at my house on the night of the party and we had such a laugh when Lal came in dressed in a blond wig, Mum’s green silk dressing gown and his face plastered with make-up.

  ‘Hi,’ he purred in a girlie voice as he sashayed his way in. ‘My name’s Lalita. I heard that there was a party going on here.’

  ‘You’re right, Lalita,’ said Izzie. ‘Come right in.’

  Lal sat on the bed and crossed his legs gracefully and picked up some nail polish. ‘So what do you think? Am I a pink or a mauve kind of girl?’

  ‘I think you’re a very strange kind of girl,’ said Nesta, ‘but whatever.’

  The party was a total blast. We had invited everyone from our class at school who we knew was single and loads turned up with goodies to eat and CDs to play. We danced around the living room to songs about being single or girl power, sang our lungs out along to ‘All By Myself’ with Celine Dion – Lal hollering along the loudest. We stuffed our faces with crisps and chocolate then settled down to play party games including Spin the Bottle. There was only one snog forfeit and that was when the bottle pointed to Lal.

  ‘He has to snog Nesta,’ I said before anyone else could get in.

  She got up and raised an eyebrow at him. ‘Think you could take it?’ she asked.

  His face lit up in anticipation. ‘I’ll take the chance,’ he said.

  When they came back from the hall a few minutes later, he had to go and lie down. I swear there were stars and planets circling his head.

  At one point, I looked around the room. This is so easy, I thought as I watched my mates chat and laugh. Boys are fun but they can do your head in too. It had been such a fab evening, all the better for not having to think about what impression I was making on some boy.

  ‘Izzie has written a song,’ Nesta announced. ‘Come on Iz, sing it for us.’

  ‘Ne-esta . . . ’ Izzie began to object but everyone started stomping their feet, clapping and calling, ‘Izzie, Izzie, Izzie,’ so she had to get up.

  She closed her eyes for a few seconds then began to sing in her lovely, velvety voice.

  ‘I was a broken ship with ragged sails

  Now calm waters beckon me

  Lying out in warming sun, stretching, feeling free

  Waiting for a new wind and a wave upon my bow

  Wishing on a rainbow, following my star

  Welcoming my new world, I’m going to travel far

  Floating in the slip-stream, just going with the flow

  Booked a passage on tomorrow with no one else in tow

  Floating in the slip stream, just going with the flow.’

  I glanced over at Nesta and TJ and they both smiled back at me. Going with the flow. Yeah, now that sounds good to me.

  Next on the agenda was to watch Bridget Jones’s Diary so while everyone got settled in on the sofa and cushions on the floor, I got up to clear some dishes away. I was standing at the sink when I thought I saw movement in the garden. It was hard to see because it was dark out there. For a second, I felt a flash of panic and hoped that we weren’t going to be bothered by intruders. Sometimes when it got out that someone was having a party, all sorts of nutters turned up. I strained to see and then almost jumped out of my skin when I saw someone’s head pop over a bush just beyond the window. It was Tony! He grinned when he saw me, put his index finger up to his mouth as if to say ‘Shhh!’ and then he beckoned me outside.

  I closed the door to the living room then quietly opened the back door, and stepped outside.

  ‘What are you doing here?’ I asked.

  ‘Singles’ night,’ he said. ‘I’m single. Why wasn’t I invited?’

  ‘No boys.’

  ‘Lal’s in there.’

  ‘Yes. He’s a token girl for the night.’ I glanced back at the house. ‘I suppose you could come in, but the girls might kill m
e for breaking the no-boy rule again after I’ve already let Lal in.’

  ‘No prob, I only came to see you and . . . ’ He put his hand around my waist and pulled me to him. ‘Now that we’re both single, no ties . . . ’

  I could feel his warm breath on my face and could smell a slight scent of mint. I couldn’t resist and leaned forward at exactly the same time that he did and our lips met, soft then more urgent. It felt wonderful to be kissing Tony again, like I was melting into him and it also felt deliciously wicked to be out kissing a boy on a strictly no-boys evening. We pulled back, looked into each other’s eyes and smiled. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Izzie had come into the kitchen. I pulled Tony away into the shadows. ‘You’d better go,’ I said.

  He nodded then pulled me in for another divine snog.

  Izzie opened the back door and called, ‘Lucy, where are you? You out there?’

  I popped my head out of the shadows. ‘Yep, coming. Just putting out some rubbish.’

  ‘Thanks a bunch!’ whispered Tony.

  I laughed then gave him a push towards the back gate. ‘Don’t tell Nesta,’ I said.

  He smiled and gave me a last light kiss on my forehead. ‘Our secret,’ he said, then disappeared behind the hedge.

  ‘Are you ill?’ asked Nesta when she saw me at my desk in my bedroom. ‘You’ve been in here for hours. It’s a gorgeous sunny day outside.’

  I indicated all the books. ‘I know, but back to school next week and I have a ton of homework I should have done over the hols – and I’ve got to get good grades.’

  ‘Still want to go to Oxford?’

  ‘Top of my list,’ I replied. ‘Rob’s going for it too.’

  ‘But not for medicine like you are?’

  I shook my head. ‘He wants to do Classics.’

  Nesta laughed. ‘Who’d have thought I had a brainbox for a brother?’

  ‘Living proof, my dear sis, that beauty and brains do go together.’

  ‘I’d have thought I was that,’ Nesta said and did a twirl.

  ‘Now it’s my turn to laugh. Beauty maybe, but brains . . . ’