Saving My Submission BN

by Jenna Jacob

  “I could stay here all night long, drinking in your sweet, slick juice, little one. You taste so warm and tart, it makes me dizzy.”

  Floating on a cloud of surreal splendor, Joshua sailed me even higher when he inched his fingers back inside me. Curling and circling, he beckoned the growing fire as he crept deeper still. He pinpointed that secret bundle of nerves and I whimpered as he stroked the screaming tissue. Writhing and moaning, I ground my pussy against his mouth and hand. Circling my clit with his tongue, he purposefully prolonged the exquisite agony, and the maddening torture was glorious. I didn’t want it to end.

  “Your cunt is sweltering,” he murmured against my folds. “And the way your silky tunnel sucks at my fingers… it feels incredible, baby. Fucking incredible. My cock’s so jealous right now.”

  Each raspy syllable vibrated straight up my spine.

  “Please,” I begged. “I need…”

  “You need what, little one? Tell me.”

  Even as he asked the question, his tongue didn’t stop dancing its taunting trail alongside my clit.

  “I need to come, Sir. Please.” The desperation in my voice was shocking, even to my own ears.

  “Yes, I know you do.” Joshua increased the tempo of his coaxing stroke. “You’re going to give it to me, because I demand it from you, little one. And I want it. Now. Right now. Come for me, girl.” he commanded in a harsh roar.

  Latching my throbbing clit between his lips, Joshua sucked. The pool of blood behind the tender nub seemed to expand and the muscles in my legs tightened and trembled. I tried to arch from the bed, but his powerful hand held me down.

  His wicked fingers strummed.

  His ravenous mouth consumed.

  A sizzling ball of electricity shot through my limbs, collided with my brain, and slammed down my spine. Shards of light exploded behind my eyes, and I threw my head back, screaming to the heavens as I shattered all over his face.

  Contracting, my tunnel sucked at his fingers in brutal spasms. Still, Joshua didn’t relent. He continued licking my clit while his fingers churned in silent demand for more.

  “Again,” he bellowed. “I want to drink you in… possess every drop of you, girl.”

  Another wave started cresting over the one still annihilating me. Helpless, I swirled in the eye of the cyclone as Joshua drove me up, fast and hard. Streaking to the crest once more, I fisted my hands in his hair, holding on for dear life, and sailed over the edge. Shrieking, the convulsing explosion felt as if it had obliterated every cell in my body.

  Boneless, panting, and spent, I felt Joshua crawl up from between my thighs. Lifting my heavy eyelids, I watched as he smiled and licked my offering from his lips before wiping his chin on the back of his hand. A sated smile curled one side of my mouth as he reached up and brushed strands of sweat-soaked hair from my face.

  “God, you’re amazing,” he praised, gazing at me as if I were the most beautiful creature on the planet.

  “No,” I choked out on a hoarse whisper. “You’re the amazing one… the things you do to me…”

  “I’ve only just begun to unravel you, little one.”

  A twinkle of delight danced in his eyes as an aftershock rippled through me. Oh yes, he’d unravel me, all right. I just prayed that his masterful hands would be able to weave me back together when we were through.

  I managed to lift one limp arm and drape it around his shoulder before pulling his mouth to mine. Tasting my essence on his tongue, Joshua bathed me in a poignant kiss so brimmed with emotion I felt tears burning the back of my eyes.

  Careful. You’re in over your head.

  As if challenging my internal warning, I moaned and fell deeper into his kiss. Shifting his weight, Joshua positioned his body over mine. The heat of his steely erection pressed against my stomach, igniting the fires I thought had been extinguished.

  His unique sexual magic left me utterly amazed. He’d taken me from quenched to parched with just a kiss and the touch of his body. I was unaccustomed to such unrelenting pleasure; Joshua stoked an insatiable side I didn’t know existed. But I knew one thing: I’d never get my fill of the man.

  “Whatever this is… whatever it means, we’ll sort it out.”

  His reassuring words sang in my brain as he reached out and palmed a condom from the nightstand. I put my ponderings to rest as he sheathed his stunning shaft.

  “Fuck. You test my control, little one. The need to be gentle and not hurt you battles with my demand to consume you,” he hissed through clenched teeth. Stroking his thick shaft as if trying to soothe its ache, he edged in, aligning the wide crest with my swollen folds.

  “Don’t be gentle. I won’t break. I need to feel all of you, again.”

  He lunged inside me, fast and hard. That unforgettable burn flared through my core and rippled like a bubbling brook. Joshua stilled and I held my breath, struggling to relax my quivering passage and accept his glorious invasion.

  “Christ, girl. You’re strangling me,” he growled.

  “I’m not trying to,” I gasped, closing my eyes to focus past the exquisite sting.

  “It’s okay. I’m not complaining. Trust me. I’m going to stay right here until you relax and give me room to move in that pretty pussy of yours.”

  I tried to widen my thighs, but it only served to stretch my searing flesh further. I hissed and bit back a curse.

  “Easy, baby. There’s no rush,” he whispered.

  Circling my nipples with his tongue, he flicked the hard tips. I moaned and pressed my lower back into the mattress, then drew up my legs and wrapped them around his narrow hips. The pain had lessened even as Joshua wedged in deeper. I closed my eyes, enveloped in sensations too wonderful for words.

  He slanted his mouth over mine and we became fused together in every way possible. I wasn’t sure where I ended and Joshua began, until he started slowly rocking in and out of me and the universe seemed to settle into an unfathomable rightness.

  As he devoured me in fervid kisses, I moaned in a carnal melody of delight. With his long, languid strokes, he seemed as if he were struggling to hold back. A part of me felt cheated. I didn’t want him censoring a single need or emotion, not when he demanded I give him my all. Watching the growing toll play across his face, I dipped my chin and swiped my tongue over his flat nipple. His body grew even more rigid as a growling curse rolled off his tongue. Determined to find the key to release the beast he held caged, a wicked idea slid though my brain.

  “Harder, Master Stephen,” I whispered. “Use me. Use me hard. I want so bad to… God, please… let me please you, Master.”

  “Fuckkk,” he roared.

  A streak of something wild flashed in his eyes. Joshua clenched his teeth and began to drive into my cunt like a man possessed.

  Inside I cheered. This is what I wanted… For him to shuck off his kid gloves and unleash his animalistic desires. Wild and untamed, Joshua claimed me in a frenzy of thrusts, grunts, and growls. Pounding into me, I realized that neither Joshua nor his alter ego Master Stephen had allowed their inhibitions to run free for a very long time.

  An unexpected wave of submission swelled, swallowing me whole. Stripped of my resolve to never unfurl my surrender, I floated like a bird toward the heavens. Surrounded in the surreal, white peace, I tried to claw my way back to reality, but the hold of completeness was too strong. Serenity saturated my pores, seeped into my bones, and left me feeling small and fragile... breakable, and so very frail.

  “You’re fucking perfect,” he spat. His tone held an icy, savage edge, and damn, if it didn’t turn me on even more.

  “Take me… all of me, Master Stephen,” I cried. “Use me hard. I’m yours.”

  There was no need to bait Joshua’s beast further, but I couldn’t stop myself. My submissive pleas nurtured us both. Freed, he feasted on my acquiescence, ruthless and feral, as I willingly fed him the pieces of my resurrected submission.

  “When I tell you to come, girl, come hard for me. It’s
mine,” he hissed.

  Jerking back, he yanked me onto his thighs. Pinching my waist in a grip so tight I’d be wearing his bruises for weeks, Joshua hurtled me up and down his cock. Burnishing my clit against the root of his shaft, the swell of release burned. Clawing at his back, I held tight to his body… to my orgasm… and to what shards of sanity hadn’t slipped through my fingers.

  A fierce expression etched his face.

  Narrowing his eyes, he delved deep into my soul, and in that one precious moment in time, he owned me. Remnants of my independence vanished like smoke. Losing myself so freely, I waited for the toll of pain to pierce my heart, but it didn’t. Instead, an unequivocal liberation consumed me—all because of his command.

  “Give it to me now, girl,” he insisted. “Come for me. Now. Fucking come hard!”

  As if I were a bird, Joshua snipped my wings and I plummeted into a swirling abyss of pleasure. I closed my eyes to savor our mingling screams, and the feel of his cock jerking and sputtering as he spilled his hot seed into the latex barrier.

  He gripped me to his chest and my pussy compressed around his shaft, gnawing with spontaneous spasms. His drumming heart pounded against my cheek. Sweat soaked, we clung to each other, holding tight long after our breathing evened out, and the rippling quivers of pleasure faded.

  He was unusually quiet. In fact, Joshua hadn’t uttered a single word since he’d ordered me to come. Silently he lifted me off his cock and stood.

  “I’ll go get a shower started for us,”

  “That’s okay. I’ll grab one back at Sanna’s place.”

  He froze as if I’d cast a spell on him. Turning slowly, he pinned me with an angry scowl. “No. You’re staying the night here. With me. In my bed.”

  Without another word, he stormed into the bathroom. I watched as he flushed the soiled condom down the toilet, then twisted the knobs inside the shower.

  My inner sub bowed her head in compliance, while the sovereign woman I feared had been lost bristled at his callous directive.

  “Joshua, I’d like—”

  “So, it’s back to Joshua again now, is it?” Standing in the doorway of the bathroom he arched an arrogant brow.

  What the hell?

  Undaunted, I raised my chin; all semblance of submission disappeared without a trace. “I’d like to discuss the fact that you want me to spend the night with you.”

  “No, you’re searching for an excuse to run from me again. Christ, it’s written all over your face,” he spat in disgust.

  “What is wrong with you?” My tone was combative, but I didn’t give a shit. He was acting like a pompous prick and I aimed to find out why. “I’m not running, but it sure seems as if you are. You’re not even listening to me. You’re shutting me out behind an impenetrable wall of Dominance. I didn’t give you my submission to toss in the garbage like a pile of dog shit. Why are you being so callous and rude?”

  “Is that why you’ve decided to lock the sub back in her cage?” he countered with an angry sneer.

  “I asked you first.” My reply sounded stupid and childish, but he’d backed me into a corner. Right or wrong, I came out fighting… it was my nature.

  He lowered his jaw and flashed me a condescending smirk as if to say; ‘Really? That’s the best you can do?’

  Blinded by a red haze of rage, I leapt from the bed and gathered up my purse and clothes. “You know what? It doesn’t matter. You’re going to think exactly what you want to regardless of anything I try to say. But just for your information, I wasn’t questioning the great and powerful Master. I was trying to communicate with you. But you’ve got your bad-ass Dom persona slathered on so thick you can’t see past your own fucking ego.”

  Storming out the door, I slammed it behind me. Naked as a jaybird, I nearly collided with James as he walked down the hall.

  “Whoa,” he declared in stunned surprise.

  Rage oozed from my every pour. James’s expression immediately softened with concern. He didn’t say a word. He simply wrapped his hand around my elbow, in a tender show of compassion and drew me to his side.

  “Come on,” he whispered softly. “Let’s get you someplace quiet.”

  The door to Joshua’s room opened with a bang. Wearing nothing but his pants and pissed-off glare, he stepped into the hallway. Zeroing in on James’ hand clasped at my elbow, Joshua’s nostrils flared.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  “We need to talk, Mellie.” Although he’d kept his voice low, it was rife with fury. I could feel his anger bubbling below the surface, even though he kept it in check.

  “Call me tomorrow… Sir. I think we both need some time to cool off.”

  I hadn’t intended for my tone to sound so arctic, but I couldn’t take it back. Joshua closed his eyes briefly and inhaled a deep, irate breath.

  “Fine. Expect a call from me in the morning, but for now, come inside and get dressed.”

  I didn’t have a clue where James planned to take me, but I knew going back inside the room with him would be catastrophic. We were both seething; it would be like tossing a match to gasoline.

  “No thank you. James is taking me someplace private so I can dress, Sir.” At least I hoped he was. And why the hell was I still calling Joshua Sir? Dammit.

  He turned toward James. “Exactly where do you plan on taking her? Surely not your own private room, I hope.” His words were slathered in jealous suspicion.

  What the fuck had crawled up his ass? He’d gone from a compassionate, understanding knight on a white horse to a full-fledged son of a bitch in the blink of an eye.

  “No. I’m taking her to Dylan and Nick’s room. They’re sitting at the bar with Savannah. Mellie will have privacy there.” James tone was matter-of-fact. I admired the man for not letting Joshua bait him with ridiculous innuendos.

  “I appreciate your concern.” Joshua looked as if he’d rather cut off his left nut than choke out an ounce of gratitude to James.

  Both men glanced my way. Awkwardness scraped, like nails on a chalkboard. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” I snapped.

  I had no intention of answering my phone if and when he called. There was nothing Joshua could do or say to take back the hurt he’d inflicted.

  For a split second, the same haunting sadness I’d seen in the photo after his wife and daughter died settled in his eyes. A sudden pang of guilt sliced through me. But before I could open my mouth to say anything, Joshua turned, walked inside his room and closed the door.

  James didn’t ask a word, simply led me down the hall to Dylan and Nick’s room while a torrent of questions whirled in my brain.

  Was Joshua still struggling with the loss of his family?

  Of course he was. You of all people should know the unrelenting hurt never goes away. The best you can do is survive the emptiness… one day at a time.

  “Do you need to file a formal report?” James asked as he turned the key and opened the door.

  “What?”

  “A formal report about Stephen? Do I need to get Mika down here?”

  “No, of course not. Master Stephen didn’t do… Really? You honestly think he’d…” I couldn’t believe James would insinuate such a thing. “He’s the last person in this club who would ever do something non-consensual. We had an argument. It wasn’t even lifestyle related.”

  “Don’t get all riled up and in my face. I’m just doing my job, girl.”

  “Our friendship is new but Stephen… err, Master Stephen is an outstanding Dominant.”

  Just not at the moment.

  “I know. But even so, you’re upset and I need to find out if he crossed a line. Look, I’ll let your sister and her Masters know where you are.”

  “No.” I demanded. “I’ll join them at the bar in a few minutes. Just don’t say anything to anyone, all right?”

  “All right. All right. Calm your horses. Christ, are you always this high strung?” James frowned.

  I shot him a pained expression. “Look. Thank you for your
help, okay?” It was a half-assed show of gratitude, but I was all talked out. With a sad sigh, I closed the door in his face.

  Fuming, I threw on my clothes, well… all except the stupid corset. No matter how hard I tried to attach the metal busks, the damn things kept coming undone. Too frustrated to deal with it, I tossed the garment aside and began to pace.

  I had no idea what I’d done to enrage Joshua. Maybe it wasn’t me that tripped his trigger. Maybe it was self-inflicted. Pondering the time between our mind-blowing orgasms to his icy silent withdraw, I grew increasingly convinced his mood shift had nothing to do with me, and everything to do with his late wife.

  It would be an ironic and fatal combination if both of us suffered from the same fear of attachment. No, he was too confident, too successful, too… much like me. Shit. We probably wore identical masks, but simply couldn’t see them... or chose to ignore them. I knew well how to align smoke and mirrors to hide my soul; I’d been doing it for years. Did Joshua possess the same knack to keep people from crawling inside too deep, as well?

  Sanna’s confession swirled in my brain. She’d closed herself off after the death of our parents. Dammit, she’d hit the nail on the head when she accused me of being afraid to love for fear of losing someone. I wasn’t afraid to fall in love; I was terrified. Maybe Joshua was too. The similarities between us weighed like a medicine ball in my gut. He was right about one thing… we did need to talk.

  I’d learned two important rules that day… Never pick a fight with a Dominant until you know what ghosts are rattling around in his closet, and never try to put on a corset alone.

  As I made my way toward the dungeon, my boobs peeked out from beneath the skewed top. Pausing outside Joshua’s door, indecision had me in a stranglehold. Should I leave him alone, or should I reach out to him? If he were battling demons from his past, I could lend him a shoulder. After all, I had experience with the emotional fallout, not to mention it was a compassionate thing to do.