Till Death Us Do Part

by V, Krissy

  He has tears in his eyes, it always astounds me that a man as tough as Luca is capable of being so emotional. "I would have been there for you Tasha, and for Felix. It's not your fault either, don't ever blame yourself. He loves you in his own special way." he nods his head and then walks over to my Dad. The two of them are in deep conversation and I don't want to disturb them.

  I go over to Kammie and hug her "I'll miss you tonight" I say and she says the same back to me. "Hopefully you might have someone else to keep you company tonight" I say nodding my head towards Luca, she slaps my arm and laughs. I laugh too.

  When we get home Dad and I watch films until dinner is ready. I can see a little routine being established here, I'll have to make sure I try and get out everyday or I'll become a couch potato.

  "Mum, tomorrow I want to go into town, there's a couple of things I need to do. You can come with me if you want" she smiles.

  "Good for you I'll drop you in and then you can ring when you want collecting. I've jobs to do myself tomorrow" she says smiling, she knows I need a bit of time to myself.

  "Great, thanks Mum. I'm going to ring and book an appointment with a counsellor tomorrow too" I know I need to do it soon or I'll have more days like this morning.

  When it's time for bed I check my phone and I see a text from Caleb.

  "Hey Tasha how's today been, I've been anxious all day for some reason. Text me when you can. Please!"

  "Hey anxious I'm fine how's work been?"

  "Oh you're funny you must be feeling better"

  "Had a bad morning but much better now thanks"

  "So that's why I was anxious, glad you're better. What are you up to? X"

  "Getting ready for bed, but I guess you knew that ;-) "

  "Ha ha I was hoping! I'm laid in bed too ;-) "

  "So we are having a "virtual sleepover" cool"

  "Wish it was real ;-("

  "Caleb!"

  "Sorry! Too much info lol"

  "It's ok! Are you alone?"

  "Are you jealous?"

  "No! Yeah! No! I don't know! I just didn't want you neglecting someone so you can talk to me"

  "Woohoo even a little jealous is good enough for me lol. I told you I'd always talk to you Tasha"

  "I know! So what I really wanted was to see if you were free for coffee tomorrow. It seems I owe you one and it seems I can't wait either"

  "Hmm, coffee? Let me think about that for a minute!! Yes I'm free. What time?"

  "I'll let you choose as you're the one working, I'll meet you there as I'm not able to drive yet"

  "Ok well I can meet you around 2.00pm in the Bristol Marriott Hotel if that's ok?"

  "Yeah that's perfect Caleb I'm looking forward to it. Now I have to go to sleep but I'll see you tomorrow ok?"

  "You sure will and I know I'll sleep well tonight ;-) xx"

  "Night Caleb xx"

  "Night Angel xx"

  I turn my phone off and lay down to sleep. It takes me a while to drift off as I'm thinking about this morning, Felix and Caleb.

  Can I just be friends with Caleb? Do I just want to be friends? I'm not sure now, but I know I'm not ready for a relationship I'm still married to Felix and I don't know how I feel about him. I finally drift off an hour later.

  Chapter 30

  AFTER BREAKFAST I GET ready for going into town. I take a while to choose my outfit because I want to look nice for Caleb. The last time he saw me was when I was in hospital.

  Mum comments on my clothes and tells me that I look really well. I tell her that I needed to pamper myself to make myself feel better.

  She drops me off into town and I have a look around some shops, I'm not really sure what I'm looking for but I enjoy browsing. I want to buy something for Kammie to thank her for her help. My phone beeps and I see a message from Felix. I've not heard from him since the day I left the hospital.

  My heart starts racing and luckily I'm outside The Cozy Place Coffee Shop and I go inside, order a coffee and find a seat to sit down. I feel unsteady on my feet and I don't know what he is going to say. I sit looking at the phone for a couple of minutes before I open it. I'm scared to see what it says.

  "Hey Tasha hope you're well. I'm not very good, I'm finding it hard to cope without you. I need you babe, can you come and see me?"

  I want to see him, I want everything to go back to the way it was before this nightmare started, but at the same time I don't want to see him because he frightens me. I think for a while before I respond to his text.

  "Hi Felix, I'm sorry you're not doing so well, I'm not either. I have to go to see a counsellor because I had a mini breakdown yesterday. I will try to come and see you because I need to see you're ok, but I'm not sure my Dad will let me go alone"

  I know he won't like that, he didn't want me to see anyone before all this happened. I know it might make him angry that I want to take Dad with me, but I know that Dad won't let me go on my own. I know that I would feel better having Dad there to protect me. Just in case!

  "I don't want to see anyone else, I've even told Luca not to come back. I just want to see you babe, please?"

  I wonder what happened for him to tell Luca not to come back. Felix is obviously feeling stronger, maybe he can get better.

  "I'll see if I can get over tomorrow. I can't drive so I'll have to ask Mum or Dad for a lift"

  "Ok babe, let me know when you're coming in. Love you"

  I can't tell him I love him, because I don't know if I do. The more time I spend away from him, thinking about everything that happened, the more I start to hate him.

  "Ok Felix see you tomorrow"

  I don't know how I feel now, he's put me on edge. I'm nervous at seeing him, so I ring the counsellor's office and ask to make an appointment for tomorrow morning. I feel like I want to go to see them before I go to the hospital to see him, maybe the counsellor can give me some advice.

  Soon it's time to meet Caleb and I walk over to the hotel and when I walk into reception, he's already there and waiting for me. I think I forgot how gorgeous he is, he takes my breath away by just looking at him. When he sees me his eyes light up and he walks over to me with a huge smile on his face "Hey Tasha you look wonderful today, you must be on the mend" he kisses me on the cheek. I can feel a tingling sensation where his lips meet my cheek, I flinch a little bit and I can feel myself blush. He has his hand on the base of my spine as he leads me past reception. "How's the neck? Bet you can't wait to get that brace off"

  He ushers me to the couch and we sit and wait for the waiter to come over. "You're looking good yourself Caleb" I say and blush. I can't believe I just said that. It's one thing flirting by text but in person it's not a good idea. Then again the smile on his face right now is well worth it. His smile reaches his eyes and his eyes sparkle, yes they definitely twinkle. "I can't wait to get the brace off, I hate relying on someone else to drive me around. My neck feels a bit better to be honest but I have to wait for my check up on Friday to find out when it can come off."

  "I won't ask what happened the other night because I know you will tell me when you want to. Just remember I am here for you when you need me" he takes my hand and slowly lifts it to his lips and kisses it and then places it back down onto my lap, he smiles and I don't know what to say.

  "Thanks Caleb, I know you are and I like that you're there for me." I smile back.

  The waiter comes over at this moment and asks what we want, I'm delighted for the distraction as things were getting a little bit intense "Tasha what do you want?" Caleb says.

  "I'll have a skinny latte please" I say to the waiter.

  "I'll have a double shot americano please" Caleb says.

  The waiter walks off to make our drinks. "So Tasha, when are you going back to work? Have you told them you're leaving yet?"

  "I'm hoping to go back on Monday, like I said I have some projects I need to finish up before I leave, I don't like leaving anything unfinished" I say smiling at him.

  "Good that's what I l
ike to hear" he laughs "What did they say when you told them you were leaving? Because I know you will have told them already"

  "Well they tried to get me to stay, offered me more money, a bigger office" Caleb starts laughing "What?!? They did." I start laughing too because Caleb is so funny when he is laughing.

  "Did they really offer you more money and a bigger office, that is so funny, who wants a bigger office? More money yes, office no" he's still laughing when the waiter comes back over to us.

  We both say thank you to the waiter and then we take a sip of coffee. I take this time to watch him drink his coffee, he looks like he is savouring every single flavour in his drink, his lips are moist and then he licks his lips and I gulp because it is so sexy. He lifts his eyes and sees me watching him, the corners of his mouth turn upwards into a smile "Do you see something you like?"

  I blush because I was caught out "Your coffee looks lovely" I smile at him.

  He laughs "Would you like a taste?" he says leaning closer to me. I don't know if he is talking about his coffee or his lips, I can feel my heart beat faster and harder. What is he doing to me?

  "Hmm no thanks I like mine. I'd rather watch you drink yours"

  This is getting out of control, I need to bring it back in line. "Felix wants to see me tomorrow in the hospital, I'm not sure I should go. What do you think?" I know I shouldn't be asking him about Felix, but I really need to stop the flirting.

  "No way Tasha! No way!" I can see him getting angry, it totally changes his face, I start to sit back further in my chair, I'm a little scared. He looks at me and sees that I'm scared "Oh my god Tasha I'm sorry for shouting at you" he reaches across the table and tries to take my hand, but I pull it away. I know I probably over reacted, but it's hard to disassociate anger from what Felix did to me. I can see that he is regretting it and he looks so sad because he upset me.

  "It's Ok Caleb, it will take a while to forget what happened to me and in the meantime I just don't need to be around aggressive behaviour. It's fine honestly. I'm scared about going to see him, but there's no way my Dad will let me go on my own, even though Felix said he didn't want anyone else there"

  "I'm sorry, I wasn't getting aggressive with you honestly, I just don't like the thought of you going to see him on your own. He's so controlling and will mess with your mind. Promise me you won't go on your own, he doesn't call the shots anymore, just remember that. You control your life, no one else does ok! If you want I'll go with you and wait outside." He sits back in his chair and I can see all he wants to do is to take my hand.

  "I know you weren't getting angry at me Caleb, it just frightened me" I reach across the table and take his hand. "Thank you for worrying about me, I'm going to see my counsellor before I go and I'm hoping that she will be able to help me decide what to do for the best" I let go of his hand and sit back in my chair.

  "I try not to think about what he put you through because I think I would want to kill him, I don't know how anyone could hurt you, you care so much about people"

  Caleb is easy company and we sit chatting about nothing in particular for an hour, I see him glance at his watch "Oh god, I've kept you too long you must have a meeting to go to, I need to get off anyway" I say looking at him.

  He smiles and says "I have all the time in the world for you Tasha, do you want me to give you a lift home?"

  I think about the consequences of him giving me a lift: it's a very confined space, what would Mum say? how do I explain myself? So I smile at him and say "That would be lovely, if it's not too inconvenient" What!??! Where did that come from? Obviously my brain is not in sync with my mouth.

  He smiles at me "It's never inconvenient Tasha"

  We finish our coffees and then put our jackets on and he ushers me out of the hotel by placing his hand on my lower back. I'm starting to like the feel of it, I feel protected. I need to feel protected after what happened over the last month. We walk to his car, of course he has a driver, he holds the door open and we both slide into the back.

  When Caleb sits into the car beside me his thighs touch mine, I want to move and I don't want to move at the same time. I can feel the heat of his thighs going through my jeans, I just want to reach over and rub my hand up and down them. Woah what am I thinking? How can I think about things like that?

  "Are you ok Tasha?" He says with a little laugh. I guess I'm blushing a little.

  "Yeah I'm fine Caleb, I'm just a little warm" I open the window slightly.

  "I know how you feel" he says turning towards me and staring into my eyes. I'm the first to look away, I look out of the window. "You need to tell Tony where he needs to go Tasha"

  "Oh yeah sorry" I chuckle and give him my address.

  We don't say anything for a while and then Caleb puts his hand on my knee and I jump, he immediately takes it off and puts his hand back on his own leg. "Sorry Tasha, I didn't mean to scare you" he looks so contrite.

  "It's fine Caleb" I say as I reach over and put my hand on top of his "you just startled me, honestly I'm fine. I don't want to be treated like I'm going to break so it's fine" I rub his hand, somehow he has managed to turn his hand around and takes mine in his. I sit and stare at my small hand in his large one, it looks like it fits perfectly, I shake my head to get rid of these thoughts.

  He sees me shaking my head and lets my hand go "Will you let me know how you get on with the counsellor and Felix tomorrow please? I don't like to think of you with him, because I know you will be scared and I'd love to be there for you afterwards, just to give you a hug and make sure you're ok."

  "Thanks Caleb, my Dad will go with me but I will ring you I promise. Thanks for coffee, oh no I just realised you paid and it was supposed to be my treat. Caleb!" I say chastising him.

  He throws his head back and laughs "I sneakily paid for the bill so it looks like we will have to do it again then" he tries to look sad about having to have coffee with me again but he can't do it.

  I start to laugh and then I smack him on the leg, it hurts! Jesus he has hard thighs. And there I am right back to thinking about his thighs. They are my weakness in men.

  We pull up to my house and Caleb gets out and holds the door for me. I get out and then turn to face him, he pulls me into a hug "I want to kiss you but I can see your Mum looking at me and you probably wouldn't let me, but remember I'm here if you need me and please let me know how you get on Tasha, I'll be waiting to hear from you" as I pull back he sneakily puts a kiss on my cheek.

  I gasp and look at him with wide open eyes "Caleb!!"

  "I'm sorry I couldn't resist, you smell so wonderful" he smiles.

  I laugh "I'll talk to you soon and thanks for coffee. My treat next time. Thanks for the lift" I start to walk away and then turn and I see him wink at me. Wow that's a turn on. I turn away and walk to the house. I notice he doesn't get into the car until I shut the front door.

  Chapter 31

  I WALK INTO THE lounge and find Mum staring out the window. I knew it was a bad idea for him to bring me home. I take a deep breath and wait for the "Spanish Inquisition", I'm not disappointed!

  "Who was that Tasha? How come he brought you home?" She doesn't take a breath.

  "That is Caleb Mum, he's a friend, he's been helping me through the last month. I met him for coffee and he offered me a lift so I thought I'd save you coming in to town to collect me. He visited me in hospital, Kammie was there too" I talk real fast because I feel a little guilty.

  "Tasha, I don't need to tell you about becoming involved with a man right now. You have enough problems" I know she's trying not to get angry with me.

  "Mum, he is just a friend and he knows about Felix, he knows how I feel and he just wants to be there for me. Honestly nothing will happen." I realise I have my fingers crossed behind my back.

  "Felix text me today he wants to see me alone! I said Dad would go with me." I take a breath "I've made an appointment with the counsellor before I go, she might help me to get through it" I say and Mum walks over an
d hugs me.

  "I'm sorry Tasha I didn't mean to moan I just worry about you. Of course Dad will go with you. What do you think he wants?" She says hugging me.

  "He said he just wants to see me, he misses me, he loves me" I start crying because I know I miss him even after what he did, but I know I can't go back to him even if he gets better. "I miss him Mum, but I know I don't trust him, I'm scared. I don't want to be alone with him"

  "Tasha, Dad will be with you it's fine. You don't have to go if you don't want to. We won't make you"

  "I know Mum, I just feel I need to see him and then when he's better I need to tell him how I feel and that I can't have him back" I say wiping the tears from my eyes.

  "Come on, let's go and find Dad and then we can all sit down and talk about it" she says linking my arm.

  Dad agrees with Mum, of course, he said that he would go with me, but if I was worried about anything then I only needed to shout for him and he would be there. He said he will just stand outside the door so that he can be there quick, if I need him.

  Mum said that she will be worrying until we get home, but she knows that I need to see him, I need a little bit of closure I suppose.

  Kammie rings me later to see how I'm feeling and I tell her about my coffee date and about Felix, we talk on the phone for ages. She doesn't say much about me having coffee with Caleb except that she doesn't want me to get hurt, and not to read too much into him and for me to just accept his friendship. She said she's worried about me meeting Felix and that I have to ring her or Luca after I've been in to see him. She wishes me good luck and then it's bedtime when I hang up.

  "I'm off to bed, thanks for listening to me and Dad thanks for saying you'll come with me tomorrow" I kiss them both and go up the stairs. While I'm getting undressed my phone beeps and I know it's Caleb!