Till Death Us Do Part

by V, Krissy

  "Hey babe how are you?"

  It's Felix! I didn't expect that. The smile that was on my face has now gone and I can feel myself frowning.

  "I'm fine thanks"

  "What time are you coming to see me? I can't wait"

  God, he's as impatient as ever. If I thought this episode might have changed him then I was mistaken.

  "I'm not sure. I have an appointment first and then I'll come over. Dad is coming with me"

  My phone is silent for a while, I knew he wouldn't like me bringing Dad, but he needs to know that I can do what I want, when I want, he can't dictate to me anymore.

  "NO! On your own you said!"

  Now I'm starting to get annoyed, he got away with bossing me around for too long.

  "Well Dad doesn't want me to go on my own. You have a lot of trust to build back up Felix. It's not all your way anymore"

  The phone is silent for a while then…

  "He can wait outside I want to talk to you alone, please?"

  "I'll see you tomorrow. Goodnight Felix"

  "Night babe, love you"

  I don't reply there's no need. He knows how I feel.

  I get into bed and stare at my phone it's strange I haven't heard from Caleb since he dropped me off. Maybe he didn't enjoy coffee as much as I did. I decide I'll text him because he is always texting me and not the other way round. I realise I want to hear from him, he makes me laugh but more than that he makes me smile.

  "Hey, thanks for coffee today"

  I start to drift off because I don't get a reply. After about an hour I'm suddenly woken by my text sound.

  "Tasha, Tasha where are you when I need you?"

  I start to panic, I hope he is ok.

  "OMG are you ok? What's the matter?"

  "Nothing's wrong I'm just a little drunk, I'm sorry"

  "Jesus Caleb, you frightened me."

  "I didn't mean to. I just wanted you to be here with me. You could help me up the stairs so I can go to bed."

  Thank god he's ok. I don't know what I would have done if something bad had happened to him.

  "Ha ha I never put you down as the type to drink Caleb. I bet you're a funny drunk"

  "Sometimes! I do when I need to forget things and it's not funny when I can't get up the stairs. Are you laughing at me lol"

  "Yeah I am lol. You're always so in control that I bet it's funny when you cut loose"

  "I'm not always in control. If I was you'd be mine now and forever xx I want you Tasha like I've never wanted anyone else before"

  "Caleb!! Stop don't text something you'll regret in the morning"

  "Tasha I would never regret anything with you, you are perfect in every way. I think about you all day, everyday and I dream about you every night. I can't concentrate at work and I know I can't have you so I went out for a few drinks with Dillon tonight ;-( "

  "I told you we can be friends, that's all I can give you right now and if you can't handle that then we can't be friends anymore"

  I start to cry because I want to be his friend. I'd miss him if I didn't hear from him.

  "I'm sorry Tasha I want to have you and I want to possess you, I know I can't have you like that and it makes me sad. I want to be your friend you know I do. But I do have feelings for you and I can't hide them. I can't stand the thought of you going to see HIM tomorrow. It scares me how much it will affect you and I want to comfort you and I can't. I can't explain to you how useless that makes me feel. You're my friend and I can't even be there for you when you need someone to lean on, it frustrates me Tasha"

  What am I going to do? I don't want lose him as a friend. I can't lose him as a friend.

  "Why are you telling me all of this now? I only wanted to check on you because I didn't hear from you and I missed talking to you"

  "So you missed me. That's a good start xx you sure you don't want to come over here and help me get into bed x you can undress me if you want I promise I won't try anything lol"

  "Ha ha yeah right. No I can't, I'm in bed and I've got a hard day ahead of me tomorrow"

  "I can give you something hard now if you want x"

  I don't reply, he's obviously very drunk but I'm not saying it didn't turn me on because it did.

  I turn my phone off because I need to sleep.

  When I'm asleep I dream of Caleb and how his hand would feel running up and down my body, how his lips capture mine and make me moan. I dream of how he tastes and how he feels when I take all of him in my mouth. I dream of how it feels when he enters me and how it feels when I cum. I wake up with a start and find I've been masturbating in my sleep, my fingers wet from my orgasm.

  I blush, but no one saw me thank god. I fall back asleep and have a dreamless night.

  Chapter 32

  WHEN I WAKE UP the next morning I'm a little bit annoyed with Caleb, I can't believe he sent me those text messages last night. If he starts saying things like that then it will change the relationship we have at the moment and I'm not sure I'm ready for that. I go down for breakfast, I know I'm being quiet, but they will think it's because of my meeting with Felix.

  If I am honest, I am really nervous about going in to see him, on one hand I want him to get better, but on the other hand I've started to see that what he did to me was wrong and I should never have to go through that again. We talk about Felix at breakfast and then when we've finished I go back upstairs and get dressed for the day.

  I come back down and Dad drives me to see the counsellor. I feel really embarrassed sitting in the waiting room, waiting to be called into see my counsellor, Sally. She is a mature woman, who looks very friendly. I follow her into her room and she tells me to take a seat, which I do.

  She asks me a lot of questions about me and Felix, especially about how he was before we got married. It was sad talking about how great things were before we were married and then talking about how things changed. She asked me about our routines and day to day activities, about how we met and how we manage working with each other.

  I'm exhausted and am glad we are getting to the end of our session. As I start to stand up and put my coat on, Sally says to me "I believe that Felix loves you very much Natasha, I also believe that he has been manipulating you for longer than you think. You talk about your routines and how they always revolve around him:- like you have to have the dinner on the table when he gets home because he doesn't like to wait. You ask his opinion on outfits and change them when he doesn't like them." She stops for a minute and lets me take this information on board.

  "Your mental abuse started even before you were married, Tasha, it escalated after the wedding because, even though he knew you were his, he was scared when you were in the company of others. He clearly thought that they would eventually see through his façade, and so he tried to alienate you from your friends and from what I understand he was slowly succeeding. The incident in the nightclub was like a catalyst for him and he needed to increase his hold on you and the only way he knew how to do that was to abuse you. When he started abusing you, you started to have secrets from the people you loved and slowly you would have alienated yourself from them. Then he would have won! He might even have stopped abusing you at that stage. Thank god we will never know. He is a sick man Natasha, he needs help and you need to decide in what capacity you want to help him, if at all."

  Wow, I really don't know what to say to all that. "Thank you so much Sally, you've really helped me, I'm going to go and see Felix. Hopefully he has realised he needs help and I will help him as much as I can, but it will take a long time for me to trust him again."

  She shows me out and I thank her again, I walk downstairs and Dad is waiting for me. He sees me coming out of the office and he comes over to me, he gives me a big hug and I cry. After a couple of minutes, he leads me to the car and on the drive to the hospital I tell him everything that happened.

  He says he agrees with Sally and tells me that he will always be there for me whatever decisions I make.

  When we get
to the hospital, Dad walks me to Felix's room, we've agreed that he will wait outside the room and if I need him then I'll call him.

  I walk into Felix's room and he's sitting up, he looks better than he has done in a while. He smiles at me when I cross the room, I kiss him on the cheek and he grabs my arm and pulls me down to kiss me on the lips. I'm startled and I can feel my heart racing but I know he won't hurt me. Will he?

  "That's better babe, I missed you and I missed your kisses. Did you miss me?" He's still got hold of my arm, he's not letting me go. In that one moment I realise he's not going to change, he's not going to give up until he has me exactly where he wants me. I can feel a lone tear running down my face, I have finally seen Felix for what he is – a bully.

  "Yes I did Felix" I feel like a robot. I pull slightly on my arm, just enough for him to let go, but he doesn't.

  "I'm getting out tomorrow Tasha and I'm going home, I know you have a check up here tomorrow, so you can collect me and bring your stuff back to the house so we can get on with our life" he looks so serious I can't believe it.

  "Felix, I love you and I miss you but I'm not moving home with you. I don't trust you and don't think I will ever again." I can't believe I said it, I wasn't going to, not while he was still in the hospital, but I feel better for having said it, although by the look on his face he's not going to let go that easily.

  He tries to pull me closer to him. "Tasha are you serious? You are my WIFE, you WILL move back in with me, I can't live without you I need you with me!" He's trying to get out of the bed.

  The next thing I know the door flies open and Dad comes rushing in and goes straight up to the bed "Stay where you are boy! You will NEVER raise your voice to my daughter again. I can't believe that she talked me into letting her come and see you today. You are a piece of trash who is not worthy of my beautiful daughter. She loves you but none of us will ever trust you with her again. Do you hear me?" Felix lets go of my arm and I move backwards until my back is touching the wall.

  Wow I've never heard my Dad get angry before. Go Dad!

  "Dad, Dad stop, calm down. Lets go. I've said what I wanted to say. Felix I'm sure Luca will take you home tomorrow and I'll talk to you when you've settled back in, but I'm not coming home"

  Felix is so angry his face is red and he looks like he is going to explode. "Get out" he says to my Dad. "If I can't have you Tasha then no one else is going to have you either" and with that he lays down on the bed and turns away from both of us.

  We both walk out and then I break down in tears, Dad hugs me and I start sobbing "How did I not know what he was capable of? What does he mean by what he said? He frightened me Dad"

  Dad rubs my back and then we walk out to the car and drive straight home. I go to my room and lay down, I just want to be on my own. I can't even talk to Mum. I stay in my room for a couple of hours thinking about when I met Felix and how good our relationship was.

  Chapter 33

  Felix

  I CAN'T BELIEVE BRIAN shouting at me like that, who would have thought he had it in him. I lay staring at the wall until I hear the door close and then I slowly roll onto my back.

  I am so mad, how dare Tasha tell me she isn't moving home. Of course she is going to move back home, we just got married, we have our whole lives together. She's mad that's all, she'll come around, she has done so far – why would this time be any different?

  She says she loves me – that's something I can work on.

  She says she doesn't trust me – I'll just have to prove to her that she can trust me. I'll send her some flowers - that should work.

  I smile to myself as I lay there thinking about sending her flowers and how she will love them and come running to the house, she will jump into my arms and we will make love like we always do and everything will be right again.

  I can feel myself getting a hard on, Tasha always makes me hard, that's one of the many things I love about her. Although she hasn't really been in the mood for sex recently, so I've had to make do with fucking her when she's asleep. It's not as much fun but it gives the same result, if you know what I mean.

  Luca comes into the room "How did it go with Tasha? I saw her Dad holding her up outside" he says as he sits in the chair next to the bed.

  Whatever hard on I had has quickly deflated "Her Dad is a pain in the arse Luca, he came in here shouting the odds when he had no right." I can feel myself getting angry again.

  "Felix what do you mean he has no right? You've attacked his daughter repeatedly over the last couple of months, of course he has a right to be angry." Luca is getting mad now, what is wrong with everyone today.

  "Luca this has nothing to do with you, this is between Tasha and me. We are married and what we do is no one else's business. So what if we are into rough sex, that's between Tasha and me and she shouldn't keep bringing other people into it." He's really making me angry, who does he think he is coming in here and telling me what I can and cannot do with my wife. Who gets away with that?

  "You have to be joking right? Rough sex, you think this is about rough sex. Firstly, Tasha is the last person I know that would enjoy rough sex, she is a gentle, beautiful person. She is not damaged or she wasn't until you got your claws into her, I can't believe you've hurt her so bad and you are still not willing to see what damage you have done to her." He is standing up now, he has his hands in his hair and he moves away from the bed.

  "Listen, if you're going to get all prudish on me then you need to go. You of all people should know what I'm talking about Luca" He is really starting to piss me off.

  "What are you talking about? Are you talking about my sexual tendencies, that has nothing to do with what you have done Felix, you are not dominating Tasha – you are abusing her" he has come up and is stood next to the bed, he is leaning down over me and shouting in my face.

  That's it I've had enough "Get out Luca, just go! I don't want you to move in with me and stay with me, I don't need you there. I'm not sick I just need to go home and get my wife to come home to me. Piss off!" I roll and face the wall again, this is becoming a habit of mine.

  "I'm going to go Felix, because I don't want to say anything that I will regret, but this conversation is not over. I can't believe that you are really this person Felix, I will be there to help you when you realise you need help"

  Luca turns away and leaves the room, peace at last! I roll onto my back again and look at the ceiling, did you know there are 49 ceiling tiles in this room.

  I think about getting out tomorrow and going home, it won't feel like home until Tasha moves back in but she will move back in, I just know it.

  I start to think about what I will do if she really doesn't want to move back in with me, I just can't think about it, it hurts too much. I can't live without her I just can't. I don't even want to begin to think about her with someone else, I can feel the bile rising in my throat – if I can't have her then nobody else will, that is not going to happen. I'll make sure of it!

  Chapter 34

  WHILE I LAY ON the bed thinking about Felix, I remember when he told me about his old girlfriend, Fiona. He told me that he didn't have any serious relationships until he met her, they were inseparable and he had wanted to marry her. It upset me at first, you know that he had been so in love with someone else and he was going to marry her, but if it wasn't for Fiona, then I wouldn't have met Felix.

  They did everything together and they were very happy, or so Felix thought. Apparently Fiona started having an affair with one of his friends and it broke his heart. It had been going on for two months before he found out, he has had trust issues ever since then.

  I think about all the things we have done over the last couple of years. The holidays we have been on and how much fun we have had. Felix never showed any sign of mistrusting me throughout our relationship, so I don't know where his problems have come from and why he has changed so much.

  I think about how my life will be so different without Felix in it every day, we have
always done everything together, it will be strange for a while. I know I am going back to work next week and I'm not sure when Felix will be going back, I don't think it will be soon. I hope he doesn't go back to work until after I've left, it would be hard to work with him, seeing him every day and not going home with him, not kissing him and not loving him.

  I hope he looks after himself and he gets better, I still love him even though I hate him at the same time, I hope we can be friends. I'll miss him in my life.

  I can feel myself drifting off to sleep, this morning has drained my energy. I start thinking of Caleb and how he makes me feel, he is such a wonderful man. He cares so much about me that it scares me, I know I care about him, maybe more than I should, but he really is amazing. I feel like I need him in my life and I miss him when I don't talk to him, when I don't hear from him.

  I know I want more out of our relationship but it really isn't the right time to be thinking about a relationship when I am having all this trouble with Felix. My eyes are getting heavier and I lay there thinking about Caleb's lips when he was drinking his coffee and I feel myself smile as I fall asleep.

  Chapter 35

  I HAD A GOOD sleep and must have been asleep for a while, because it is dark when I wake up and decide to go downstairs. As I walk downstairs I can hear voices, Luca is here. "So that is what he said Luca, he frightened her and to be honest I don't like it" Dad is saying.

  "I'll collect him tomorrow Brian, don't worry about that, I'm going to stay in the house for a few days to make sure he settles back in ok. I know he won't like it but he will need someone there" Luca is saying.

  I am at the bottom of the stairs now "Thanks Luca I appreciate it" they all turn to look at me, wondering what I heard.

  "Tasha honey are you ok?" he says coming over and hugging me. "Your Dad told me about your visit, why didn't you tell me? I would have come with you"