Till Death Us Do Part

by V, Krissy

  "I wanted Dad there because I knew if anything went wrong then Dad would take care of it, but Luca I really appreciate it thanks" I hug him back.

  "No worries Tasha, I know you probably think that I shouldn't make sure he is ok, but he has been my friend for a very long time and this is so out of character for him. He needs someone to take care of him for a while" he says shaking his head.

  "I know Luca and I think you are amazing to do this for him and I hope he appreciates it" I smile at him. "I'm glad someone is looking out for him"

  "So, Luca do you want to stay for dinner, Kammie is coming over" Mum says smiling at Luca. Everyone knows what she is doing.

  "I'd love to stay Jean thanks" he smiles back at her. Just then the doorbell rings and Kammie walks in "Hey everyone. Oh hey Luca" she blushes.

  "Hey Kammie how's things?" I say walking over to her and hugging her.

  "Good Tasha, good. How did you get on with Felix today? You all look so serious" she says looking at all of us.

  "Tasha, why don't you three go and sit in the lounge while I finish dinner? Brian will you get them all a glass of wine?" Mum says as she walks out the door.

  Kammie, Luca and I walk into the lounge and sit down, I deliberately take the armchair so that they have to sit on the couch together. Kammie looks at me and raises her brow, she knows what I'm doing, she laughs and I join in. Luca looks at us and then realises what I did and he laughs too.

  We tell Kammie what happened today and we discuss it, she knows I can't go back to him but she is worried about Luca being with him all the time. But she can't really show it too much, their relationship is very new and they are keeping it low key.

  "Luca, I worry about you living with Felix" she says, she obviously decided that she can't keep it to herself. "I know we've talked about this and you know how I feel, but he treats you like shite. I don't like the way he talks to you, you've been so good to him through all of this and I know you want him to get better, but I worry Luca." She looks sad and looks down at her feet. I smile at her and go over and kneel in front of her.

  "Kammie, I'm sorry I never even thought about how you felt about all of this, I've been so selfish I'm sorry" I take her hand and pull it to my face, she looks me in the eye and I can see a few tears ready to overflow. "I love you Kammie and I don't want you to hurt, I'm sorry"

  We all sit quietly for a few minutes and then I get back up and sit in the chair. Luca turns to her and takes her hand "Baby you know how I feel about you, I don't want you to hurt, I know this has been so hard for you to see Tasha going through all of this. I know you hate Felix with a passion and you don't want to be anywhere near him again, but I have to do this for my friend. You would do anything for Tasha and it's the same for me. I now what he did was wrong, but I know that underneath all of this hatred, the real Felix is waiting to be rescued." He leans forward and kisses her on the lips very gently. This is the first time I have seen them together being affectionate and it makes me so happy for the both of them. They look so good together and once again me and Felix are keeping them apart.

  "Guys, I'm so sorry that Felix and I said to both of you not to get together because it would make things awkward, that was not our right to say that. I can see that you both belong together and that you can be very happy together, please don't fight it any longer, please give in and take what you both deserve. I love you guys and I want you both to be happy and I know that you can make each other happy" I can feel a tear leaving my eye and running down my cheek, these two are meant to be together and they must know that themselves.

  We have dinner and afterwards, Kammie and Luca leave together and me and Mum and Dad sit down and talk about the day. It’s soon time for bed and I realise that I'm exhausted and really need a good night sleep, I'm going for my check up tomorrow and I know they will let me take the neck brace off so I'm sure I'll be able to go back to work on Monday, thank god, I'm going stir crazy here.

  Chapter 36

  WHEN I GO UPSTAIRS and get dressed for bed I realise I haven't heard from Caleb all day, that's really strange, I know I didn't reply last night but I'm certain I would have heard something because he was adamant that I told him how I got on with Felix.

  Maybe he decided that I was too much trouble, I wasn't worth being friends with. Maybe he decided that because I didn't reply to his text message last night that I wasn't interested in him and that he really didn't want to keep pursuing me. I start to get a bit angry because he had said that he wanted to be my friend and I thought he was. Maybe I'm just a bad judge of character.

  I check my phone and it's only then I realise that I haven't had it turned on at all today. I start to panic as I realise that he will have been worried about me all day, I start to cry a little because I don't want him to think I was ignoring him. I can only begin to imagine how worried he will have been.

  My phone seems to take ages to turn on and I can feel myself starting to panic, when it does turns on there are a number of messages and missed calls.

  "Tasha, I'm so sorry about my text messages last night, I've read over them again and I was such a prick, I can't believe I told you all of that last night"

  Yes you were being a prick I think to myself.

  "Don't ignore me please, I really am sorry"

  He thinks I'm ignoring him, that's not good.

  "Tasha, please"

  "OK so you're pissed off with me that's ok I deserve it, but you promised to let me know how your meeting with Felix went, please let me know you're ok"

  "That's all I need, a little text to tell me you're ok, you promised, you know how much I have worried about you"

  Oh no, I'd say he is seriously angry with me right now. I'd better ring him and let him know that I'm ok.

  The last text was 10 minutes ago.

  "That's it I'm on my way round to your house to find out what happened, if you don't text me then I'm going to knock on your door and ask your Mum and Dad how you are. I can't waste another minute without knowing that you are ok Tasha."

  Crap, crap! I quickly ring his phone "Caleb, Caleb I'm sorry my phone has been off all day"

  "Oh my god Tasha I've been so worried, I've been going out of my mind with worry. I'm just pulling up outside your house, any chance you can come out to me please, I need to see you. I need to know that you're ok, I need to see it with my own eyes."

  "Caleb I can't come out, I'm in bed. I'm fine honestly, don't worry"

  "Please, I need to see you Tasha, I won't rest until I see you're not hurt and you're not lying to me about how today went"

  "Ok, ok I'll come downstairs, just let me put some clothes on" I can hear him groan and I giggle "I'll see you outside in a couple of minutes" I hang up the phone. I don't know how I'm going to explain this to Mum and Dad, if they're still up.

  I put some trousers and a jumper on over my pyjama and creep down the stairs, its all dark and quiet down here so they must be in bed. I open the front door and put it on the latch so that I can get back in afterwards.

  I can see Caleb leaning against his car. I walk towards him and he walks towards me, when we meet he takes me in his arms and pulls me into him "Tasha I was so worried when you didn't answer me, but I was worried for two reasons, I thought you'd be pissed off about my text messages and then when you didn't reply after your meeting with him, I was worried he'd done something to you again. I don't know what I would do if he had hurt you again Tasha, I really don't"

  I hug him back and he feels so warm and his body feels so hard. "Caleb, I didn't turn my phone on today, I was worried about seeing Felix and the counsellor and I just forgot. I did think it strange that you didn't text me, but my mind was occupied all day. There was no need to worry Caleb"

  "There was every need Tasha, you've been through a lot recently and I don't want you to feel you are going through it alone. I know you have your friends and I know I'm not in their league but I'm here for you."

  "You must be cold Angel, come and sit in the back of the car wit
h me. I promise you'll be safe" he smiles at me. I know I shouldn't, but he makes me feel safe, and I am feeling cold!

  "OK come on then, it's getting cold out here" he opens the door for me to get in and he slides in behind me.

  We sit on the back seat and he says "Tell me everything that happened today Tasha, I want to know so I can help you" he is sitting next to me with his body turned towards mine, he has one leg bent up on the seat and his arm is draped across the back of the seat. I can feel the heat from his arm, his hand is so close to my neck I can feel my hairs standing up on my neck. If he just moves it slightly his hand will be touching my neck, I start to feel warm and I feel nervous.

  I sit and I tell him what happened with the counsellor and then what happened with Felix, he's surprised when I say that I told Felix that I wouldn't be going back to him "I thought you said you love him and you miss him, why won't you go back to him?"

  I look at him, I'm slightly confused, I thought that would be the last thing he wanted me to do "I have loved him for a long time and I can't stop that feeling straight away, even though he did all those terrible things to me. I miss him because I miss his company and someone to talk to when things are going wrong, but I realise that I have good friends, including you, to talk to. But most of all I don't trust him and never will again"

  I look up at Caleb and he's looking at me while I'm talking, he leans over and kisses me on the lips very gently and then he pulls away "Tasha you are one of the most amazing people that I have ever met, you still care for the man that hurt you so terribly, but I'm so glad you can see that you shouldn't have to be hurt anymore" he smiles at me.

  I should go mad that he has kissed me when I'm telling him all of this, but my lips feel like they are on fire and I realise that I want more so I lean forward and kiss his lips very gently. I can tell he's startled and he kisses me back, slowly, then I feel his hand creep round the back of my neck and very gently pull me closer, I groan and willingly move in to be closer to him. He starts to moan too and I can feel his tongue pushing its way into my mouth, I can taste him and I suck his tongue deep into my mouth. We move our tongues in unison and then I pull back slightly and take his bottom lip into my mouth and suck on it a little bit, now he moans really loud and this brings me back to reality.

  I pull away quickly and just sit there looking at him, I don't know what to say and I reach for the door handle to get out. I shouldn't have done that, I shouldn't have kissed him like that. He reaches out and takes my hand to stop me from leaving "Tasha don't leave please, let's talk about it. I'm sorry I took advantage of you when you are feeling low, I'm sorry, please" he says trying to stop me from leaving.

  "Ok, I won't leave Caleb, but I shouldn't have done that, I'm sorry. My life is so difficult right now, I don't need another complication and Caleb, you are a big distraction!" I can't look at him.

  "I know I'm a problem Tasha and I'm sorry, but as I told you before, I want you in my life, you mean too much to me to lose over a kiss. I'm not sorry for doing it though, because it was one of the most amazing kisses I've ever had and I want nothing more than to have those every day for the rest of my life, but, if I were given a choice of one night with you, or your friendship forever then I would take your friendship any day" he takes my hand and kisses it.

  "Caleb you always say the nicest things to me, but I would take your friendship any day too. Now listen, I have to go back to bed and sleep it's been a long and exhausting day. Thank you for caring so much about me to come over to my house because you hadn't heard from me, that means so much" he looks at me and then he gets out of the car.

  When I step out past him he takes my hand and pulls me into him one more time "I'm here anytime, day or night Tasha, don't forget that" and he lets me go.

  I look up at him and all I want to do is to kiss him again, but I fight the urge and say "I know Caleb, I know and I thank you again for everything" I reach up and lightly peck him on the cheek. "Talk to you tomorrow ok?"

  "Yes of course" he says with a little smirk "By the way I meant what I said in my texts the other night, I know it frightens you but I'm not going anywhere my Angel" he turns and gets in the car. He leaves the window open so that he can see me though.

  I walk slowly to the house and when I go to close the door I see him close his window and drive off. What is it about this man that makes my insides get hot?

  Chapter 37

  I STOOD LEANING UP against the front door for a long time, just thinking about what happened to me today. I slowly carry myself upstairs and get into bed. I don't fall asleep easily and fear I will have a fretful sleep.

  I don't sleep particularly well as I had a bad dream, I dreamt that Felix was hitting me and shouting at me that I was a slut, just like he did after my presentation at work. I was sitting in the corner of the room, screaming and he just wouldn't shut up. Suddenly, the door flew open and Caleb came in shouting at Felix to stop. Felix turned around to Caleb and started to get in his face, shouting at him that he was the reason I was sitting in the corner of the room scared of my shadow. It was Caleb's fault. Caleb hit Felix in the face and then they started to fight, I was still screaming, I was shouting at the two of them to stop. I see a flash of something bright and see Felix with a knife – he turns to me and asks me to chose between him and Caleb. I can't make that decision, I can't and because I hesitate he plunges the knife into Caleb's chest. Just as he does I start to scream and then I wake up.

  I'm sweating, shaking and I'm in the corner of the room. I must have got out of bed during my dream. I hear a gentle knock on the door and Mum comes in and sees me on the floor. "Baby girl are you ok? I heard you screaming, were you having a bad dream?" she asks getting down onto the floor with me. She reaches out to touch me and when I don't flinch she pulls me into her. "Come on lets go downstairs and I'll make you some cocoa, you know that will help you to sleep".

  She stands and takes my hand to pull me up. I put on my dressing gown and we go downstairs. We go into the kitchen and she makes me a cup of cocoa, I love it and it always brings back so many memories of her mum, my Nan. When I was a child, I used to stay with my Nan for weekends and she used to make me cocoa and it always felt like a treat. We would always butter some bread and dip it into the cocoa. Felix always said it was a disgusting habit, but I still did it when he wasn't around. I take a sip of my cocoa and see Mum coming towards me with a plate of bread and butter. I smile and we sit and dip the bread into the cocoa, we talk about Nan and laugh about some of the things that she used to get up to.

  I feel so much happier when we've tidied up and gone back up the stairs, as we get to my room I turn and hug Mum and tell her I love her. Then I go back into my room and climb into bed, I feel much more at peace and sleep well for the rest of the night.

  When I wake up I'm feeling much better and feeling positive, I go down for breakfast and Mum and Dad are already there. Dad kisses me on the cheek and says "Did you and your Mum have some sneaky cocoa with bread and butter last night? I can't believe you had it without me" he laughs. Dad loves it too, but he would never admit it to anyone else.

  I HAVE TO BE at the hospital at 12pm and so after breakfast I go and get dressed and then Dad takes me to the hospital. I'm tempted to go and visit Felix, but I know Dad won't let me after yesterday. I walk past his room though, and look through the window. I can see his Mum and Dad in there, I hope they don't see me, Barbara is crying and Felix looks angry. I move past his room before he sees me, I don't want a repeat of yesterday. I remind myself to ring his Mum and talk to her, she might be able to help him.

  I go to the outpatient clinic and wait for my appointment. When my name is called I go into the room and Dad stays outside, I don't want him in the room with me, just in case they ask any awkward questions.

  The doctor examines me and he tells me that I can take the neck brace off when I go back to work, but that I still need to wear it for a few hours after work, just to rest the muscles. I can live with that.

&nbs
p; I go home and it feels great to not have to wear the neck brace for a while. I text Kammie and Caleb and let them know what the doctor said and that I was happy to be able to go back to work on Monday. Caleb replies and tells me that he is happy for me and he can't wait for me to start working for him, I don't tell him that I haven't told Mum or Kammie that he will be my boss, I'll leave that one until I have to tell them.

  When I get home, I make a cup of coffee, take a blanket and go and sit outside on the bench in the back garden. I think about Caleb, I'm really embarrassed I kissed him like that, I'm also really angry that I did that. I shouldn't lead him on like that, it's not fair to him and it's not fair to me. I think about what work is going to be like, seeing him every day, working with him every day. Will it be like working with Felix? I'm sure Caleb will be totally different to Felix, but am I allowing history to repeat itself?

  We don't do much today, we just relax, I'm tired after my disturbed nights sleep. I fall asleep on the couch while we are watching a film and when I wake up Kammie is there. "Hey bitch" she says "I thought I'd come over and see how you were getting on now that you don't have the neck brace on"

  I smile at her, she knew I would be happy about it and wanted to share in my happiness. I get up and give her a hug "Thanks Kammie for being here for me, I love you" she hugs me back and then pulls back and looks at me.

  "Where else would I be Tasha, you're like the sister I never had" she kisses me on the cheek. "Now what's for dinner?" she asks looking at Mum. I laugh because she always makes herself at home.

  Chapter 38

  KAMMIE ONLY STAYS FOR a couple of hours and then we arrange to do something on her day off the next week.

  On Saturday Mum, Dad and I drive off to The White Lion Bar for lunch. I love this place it is one of my favourite spots, but it brings back memories of the wedding. I look around me and remember that beautiful day and how happy I was.