Love Is Relative

by Francis, Haven

  “Cheers to us,” she says, clinking her bottle against mine. “Fuck all those boys.”

  “Fuck all those boys,” I agree, tipping the bottle back to my mouth.

  #

  Jessa and I managed to stay hidden for a good hour before Nat came looking for us, followed closely by Luke and Noah. “Hey, you party poopers,” Nat says, taking a seat at the end of my lounge chair. “You gonna sit out here all night?”

  “That was the plan,” Jessa says.

  Nat looks at my tight smile and realizes we have a reason for our reclusive status. “What’s wrong,” she whispers.

  “She finally realized what a scheeze Noah is,” Jessa hisses giving the evil eye to the boys who have stopped by the cooler to get a drink.

  “Oh. Well good, I’m glad you finally figured that one out. I’ll keep him away,” she says standing and going to the cooler.

  “Girl talk… you boys need to stay far away from that.” She grabs onto Luke’s hand and pulls him away. Luke goes willingly but I can see in my peripheral vision that Noah hasn’t budged. “Noah, come on. There’s too much progesterone over there; Jessa has her period,” Nat says, grasping at straws but Noah ignores her and I can feel him walking towards us.

  “Hey,” he says hovering over me. “Is everything okay?”

  “Yea,” I say, unable to look at his face because I know his caring eyes will just make me want to smack him across his face. “We’ll be in later.”

  “Seriously, Em, what’s the matter?”

  “She just told you, everything’s fine,” Jessa snaps at him.

  Luke and Nat have walked back to us and things are suddenly tense. Why can’t he just go? “I wasn’t talking to you,” Noah tells her. “I’m talking to you, Emily, can you look at me?”

  I do then, not appreciating his tone and no longer concerned if I slap him or not. “Get out of here, Noah. I don’t want to talk to you right now.”

  “Are you fucking kidding me? Are you pulling a Danny on me; just gonna blow me off now that you’ve had enough.”

  “Oh my God, Jessa was right, you don’t give a shit about being my friend do you? You stopped talking to Danny so you could try and take me from him.”

  “Don’t be fucking stupid, Em,” he says, taking a step closer to me.

  I stand, not liking the way it feels to have him hovering over me. I feel dizzy as I do so, I suddenly don’t like the affect the alcohol’s having on me. Everything looks a little fuzzy. “Don’t call me fucking stupid. Just tell me the truth.”

  “Emily, you’re wrong, I care about you. I just want you to be happy again.”

  “You lying sack of shit,” Jessa pipes in from her lounge chair.

  “Stay the hell out of this, Jessa,” he says, shoving a finger at her.

  “She doesn’t need to stay the hell out of this. She’s just trying to protect me unlike you. You pretend like you’re trying to protect me from Danny. You were more than happy to tell me about all the girls he’s been with, what an asshole he’s turned into, that he’s an alcoholic who doesn’t care about anything but himself. If you were ever a friend to me or Danny you wouldn’t do that. All you care about is yourself.”

  “Where the hell is this coming from? I was just trying to protect you. What the hell did I ever do to you?”

  “You lied to me. You’re lying to me right now.”

  “Emily, I’m not.”

  “You know what, I don’t believe you.”

  He takes another step toward me and I take one away from him, stumbling over my feet. Jessa stands and grabs a hold of my side. “You think I like hanging around that stupid stinking farm? You think I don’t have anything better to do that sit around and watch you cry about that asshole. Do you know how many mornings I’ve left a beautiful and willing girl in my bed just to go listen to your pathetic sob stories? But I do it. Because, maybe I thought you’d get your head out of your ass and see that I was better for you than he is, but mostly I wasted all that time because I don’t think it’s right that your being seduced by your own fucking brother.”

  I gasp in a lungful of air and then I slap him hard across the face. It stuns him for a moment and then he lunges for me.

  Danny

  The kids have been sleeping for a while now, I’m about to go to bed myself. Luke’s texted me a few times saying that everything was cool. Em and Jessa took off before the party even started and Noah hasn’t gone to track her down. I’m guessing the two of them just left. I hope so at least. I think about pouring myself a drink but instead I go to the bathroom to brush my teeth. I’m just finishing up when my phone dings.

  You need to get your ass here. Dude’s drunk and talking crazy shit about your girl. Nat told him she left but he just figured out she’s still here. GTG

  Shit. I can’t just leave Jason and Maddie here alone but I can’t leave Emily to deal with Noah on her own either. I go to the kitchen and scribble on a note pad. Went to get Emily, call me if you’re awake. I lock the doors from the outside then jump in the truck and hit the gas.

  Nat just lives right inside town and at the speed I’m going it will only take a couple of minutes to get there but it seems like it’s been ten already. I pull onto her street that’s crowded with cars and jump out as soon as I have my truck in park.

  I book it to the house then throw the door open and start looking for Emily. People call my name but all I can do is ask where Noah is. Finally someone says they saw him heading toward the pool. I head to the kitchen and out the patio door.

  Across the pool I see the small group that’s gathered. Luke and Nat are on either side of Noah with their hands on him. I assume the person that he’s yelling at, that I can’t see, is Emily. As I start off toward her I see Noah lunging. “Noah,” I scream, “get your hands off her.” If he hears me he doesn’t respond. Luke is trying to pull him back. I throw him off before ripping Noah away. I look over my shoulder at Emily; she’s curled up in the chair with Jessa by her side. She’s crying. “Don’t you ever fucking lay a hand on her,” I say before punching him in the face. He goes down immediately and when he tries to get back up I push him back down with my boot. “What the hell did you do to her,” I scream at him.

  “Get the hell out of here, Danny, it’s none of your fucking business,” he says, as blood starts to trickle down his lips. I reach down and grab him by the shirt, lifting him up and dragging him over to the fence, I push his back against it hard.

  “Emily is always my fucking business. If you touch her again I will kill you, do you understand that?” He doesn’t answer immediately so I knee him in the gut. He buckles over but I lift him back up and push him back into the fence.

  “Danny, don’t,” I hear Emily’s frightened voice and I turn to look at her.

  “Did he touch you?”

  “No, Danny, he didn’t hurt me, I’m okay.” I know she’s lying but she doesn’t like to see anyone getting beat on.

  I turn back to Noah. “Do you fucking understand me?” I say under my breath.

  “Yea, Danny, I fucking understand you.”

  “Luke, can you get him out of here. I don’t think I should be alone with his sorry ass right now. I will fucking kill him.”

  “Yea,” Luke says coming to Noah’s side, “I’m good to drive.” Luke gives him a little push to get him walking. “Get going, idiot,” he tells him.

  I take a deep breath before turning back to Emily. She’s staring at me with wide eyes. She looks frightened and I don’t know if it’s because of Noah or because of me. “I’m sorry, Em. I know you don’t want to see me but Luke sent me a text. I had to come, but I’ll go now, if you’re okay?”

  She nods at me and my heart breaks as I look at her. I want to be there for her, I want to hold her and tell her everything will be okay, that I’ll never let that asshole touch her, but I know that’s not what she wants. “Thank you,” she whispers, “for coming.”

  “Did he hurt you?” I ask her again.

  “No,” she
answers. “He’s just a jerk.”

  “I believe I told you that more than once.” She wanted so badly to believe he was her friend but he never was.

  “I know. You were right; I should have listened to you.” I raise my eye brows, stunned that she’s admitting she was wrong. “I know- shocking right? I might have been wrong about a lot of things. I’m sorry I never explained anything to you.”

  My heart feels like it’s going to beat out of my chest. She’s talking to me, she’s telling me she may have been wrong. “It’s okay. I want to know why you’re mad at me, though. Will you call me tomorrow so we can talk about it?”

  “Are you leaving?” she asks and I swear it sounds like she doesn’t want me to go.

  Nat steps up to Emily’s side and I figure she’s going to drag her away from me but instead she says, “Jessa and I are going to get a drink, we’ll just be on the other side of the pool. Are you okay with that?”

  Emily looks into my eyes then says, “Yea, I think I’ll be fine.”

  Nat raises her eyebrows at me and I get her warning. I try to give her a reassuring smile; I’m not going to hurt Emily, she’s safe with me. She nods and walks away.

  I look back to Emily. “Can I please call you tomorrow, so we can talk about whatever’s going on?”

  “Don’t go,” she whispers and I’m not sure I’ve heard her right.

  I take a cautions step towards her. “You want me to stay?”

  “Yes.” She looks like she’s about to cry.

  I know I’m taking a chance but I can’t stop myself. I take one more step towards her and pull her up into my arms. She hesitates for a moment and then wraps her arms around my waist. Oh God, it feels so good to hold her again.

  “I need you so much right now,” she whispers. “It feels so good to be in yours arms again. But things haven’t changed. I can’t go back to how we were.”

  “Emily, this is all I need, to feel you again. I don’t ever want to let you go but if you need me to, I’ll try. You have to tell me why though. I’m dying here, it hurts so bad to lose you and to not even know why.”

  “Just don’t leave me.”

  “Em, come home with me.” She lifts her head and glares at me. “That’s not what I meant. Jason and Maddie are at my place, I can’t leave them there alone. Come back with me, just for a little bit and then I’ll walk you home.”

  “Why are they staying with you, is Mike okay?”

  “Everything’s fine, we’re just having a sleep over. I shouldn’t have left them but I did. I have to get back, please come with me. I don’t want to leave you right now.”

  She stares at me while she thinks it over. “Okay,” she finally says.

  #

  I notice as we walk to my truck that Emily seems like she’s swaying a little. I help her up into the passenger seat then go around to my side. I start the ignition and then I look at her. She smiles at me lazily, her pupils look a little bigger than normal. “Were you drinking?” I ask, smiling a little at the notion; I can’t imagine Emily drunk.

  “A little bit,” she admits.

  “First time?”

  “Yep.”

  I pull away from the curb wondering if the alcohol was a factor in her agreeing to leave with me. I hope not, I don’t want her regretting this then hating me even more. “Are you drunk?”

  “I might have been a little bit but Noah sobered me up pretty quickly.” I feel my body temperature rise. I decide not to comment on Noah. Not now. “I just feel a little light headed now.”

  “We’ll get you some water and aspirin when we get home, you’ll be okay.” She nods her head then looks out the window. “Are you okay?”

  “I don’t know,” she says.

  “You don’t have to come home with me; I can bring you back to your place if that’s what you want.”

  She turns from the window and looks at me. “That’s not what I want, and that scares me because I shouldn’t want to go home with you. I knew this day would come, that I would have to see you again, that I would have to talk to you. I knew I wouldn’t be strong enough…” she trails off and looks away from me.

  I pull in beside my cabin. There are no lights on so that means the kids aren’t up. I look back at Emily. “Why are you trying so hard to stay away from me?” I ask her.

  “Let's talk about it inside.” She opens her door and steps out. I meet her in front of the porch where she has stopped like she is apprehensive about going any further.

  I stand with her, waiting for her to move. “You ready?” I finally ask.

  “Yea,” she says, so I take her hand and help her up the steps. I have to let go of her to get the lock open and I get the feeling she’s considering running. I get the door open as fast as possible then wait for her to step through. I quickly follow her, shutting the door behind me. I notice she has her work boots on. She notices me looking at them and lets out a small laugh. ”Natalie didn’t give me a chance to grab any clothes before she brought me to her house. She found me some jeans and a shirt but we don’t wear the same size shoes.”

  “You look good,” I tell her. And she does. She looks damn good. I have to try hard to not let my eyes linger on her cleavage.

  “She didn’t have much for shirts,” she says crossing her arms over her chest, clearly uncomfortable with the amount of skin she’s showing.

  I reach over to the coat rack and grab a hoodie that’s hanging there. “You can wear this if Natalie’s shirt is making you uncomfortable.”

  “Thanks.” She takes it and slips it over her head. It hangs to her knees but she looks just as good, wearing my clothes, as she did in that tight shirt. I smile at her. “What?” She asks.

  “You look cute.” Her face drops but I don’t know why. Because I told her she looks cute? I make a mental note not to compliment her. “You want to sit down? I’m just going to go check on the kids.”

  She turns and goes to the couch. I open the door just enough to see that Maddie is still tucked into my bed and Jason is still curled up on the futon. I grab Emily some asprin and water before going to her. I want to sit next to her on the couch but I think she would prefer me in the chair so that’s where I go. I set the water and aspirin down on the coffee table. “You should take that.”

  “Thanks,” she says popping the aspirin in her mouth then taking a big gulp of water. She sets the water down and sits back on the couch. I notice her hands moving around like she doesn’t know what to do with them. Usually, when she’s on that couch, her hands are wrapped up in mine, or resting on my chest, or in my hair. I feel energy buzzing through my body at the memories.

  “Are you uncomfortable being here?” I ask her.

  “Yea, a little I guess.”

  “Why is that?” I lean towards her, resting my arms on my legs.

  “Listen, Danny, I’m sorry that I just stopped talking to you. I know it probably wasn’t right but I just couldn’t face you.” She pauses to take a deep breath before blowing it back out. She closes her eyes and I know she’s fighting back her tears.

  “What happened to you, Emily, I don’t understand?” I say, desperately fighting the urge to go wrap her in my arms.

  She opens her eyes and looks into mine. “The last time I talked to you, when I was at the bar with Jessa and Emily, there was a group of girls who sat at the table next to us. I overheard them talking about you. One girl, in particular, was talking to her friends about sleeping with you and your cozy little cabin.” She pauses to take another breath.

  Oh fuck, I didn’t even consider this- that she had run into one of the women I used to sleep with, why didn’t I fucking figure that out? “Emily…”

  “Danny, don’t. This is hard for me, just let me finish.” I nod my head and wait for her to go on. “I know that you have slept with a lot of girls and I’m not mad at you for that, but it was hard seeing one of them and hearing her talk about you. She made some comment about how you had been calling her five times a day and I don’t know if I b
elieved it or not, but just the thought made me sick. I made Nat and Jessa tell me what they knew about your past. The girl at the bar, her name is Kristie.” She stops to look me in the eye, to gauge my reaction. I feel the color drain out of my face, thinking that Emily had to hear her talk about us… that Kristie came here that night. I feel like I might throw up. “They told me they knew you slept with girls but didn’t date them. That you only used them for sex. I think they were trying to make me feel better but it just made me sick all over again- to think that the Danny I had always known could treat any woman that way. It hurt to think of you like that. It pissed me off.

  “I was still pissed when I got home that night so I walked down the hill to give you a piece of my mind. I didn’t make it to your door though because you were already there with someone else. It was that girl from the bar. I watched the way you held onto her, I watched you pull her close to you, I saw that her shirt was half undone, I saw the look in your eyes and I knew what the two of you were going to do, or what you had just got done doing, and it broke me.

  “I loved you so much, Danny. I didn’t think you would ever hurt me like that, that you could be with someone else while we were….. I could never look at another guy the way I look at you, I’ll never be able to, and there you were…” She starts crying silent tears that fall down her face.

  I am stunned; I don’t even know what to say. “God, Emily, the thought of you thinking I would ever do anything like that to you… that’s what you’ve thought this whole time? You’ve been living with the idea that I have even thought of anyone else, much less touched anyone, since you came back into my life… that kills me. How could you think that?” I make a move to go to her but she holds her hands up and pushes herself further into the couch. I stop.

  “Danny, did you hear me? I saw you with her. Don’t you get that?”