The Gift

by Vanessa Miller

  It was that thought that kept her grounded. Because if all of her money had been lost due to someone else’s negligence, Tara probably would be looking for a window to throw herself out of rather than doing this stint in rehab.

  Rance leaned back in his chair and smiled at Tara. “You talk big, but you’re not so tough, are you?”

  “I wish I was tough. Would have changed a lot of things if I had been tougher.”

  “Nothing that happened, was your fault. You do know that right?”

  Shaking her head, she told him, “You don’t know anything about it.”

  “I know that you were just a kid.”

  Tara looked around as if expecting to see someone behind her. But when the person she was looking for wasn’t there. She turned back to Rance. “Whose been telling you my business? You’re just suppose to moderate our group meetings, not go snooping around, investigating us like we’re some kind of criminals.”

  “Relax Tara. I haven’t been snooping into your business. While we were in group, God revealed to me that your struggle began when you were a child.” He lifted a hand to silence her when she opened her mouth to respond. “Now, I don’t know what you went through as a child, but I have to believe that it wasn’t you’re fault. Am I right or not?”

  Tara wasn’t hungry anymore. She pushed her plate away and stood up. “Mind your own business.” She left the cafeteria without so much as a backward glance.

  Slamming the door, once she had entered her room, Tara kicked the sofa and punch the seat cushion. She was so angry. Rance had tricked her into having lunch with him just so he could pry into things that didn’t concern him. It was none of his business and none of anyone else’s business. Tar threw open the closet door and grabbed her suitcase. It was time to blow this joint. She hadn’t done drugs in a few days, so she was good. And anyway, drugs didn’t have a hold on her, she could quit anytime she wanted.

  She bent down and pulled her shoes from under the bed. Tara put three pairs of hills in her suitcase and then laced up her teal and blue, Curry Two sneakers and was ready to bounce when her cell phone rang. One look at the caller ID and Tara knew she was in trouble. She wanted to just ignore the call and keep moving toward the exit. But just as her best friend since childhood had never ignored any of her cries for help, Tara could never ignore Trinity. Especially now since they were so many miles apart from each other.

  She let go of her suitcase, plopped down on the bed and answered the phone. “Hey, what’s up?”

  “Nothing much, just thought I’d check on you… see how the rehab is going so far.”

  I hate it, Tara wanted to scream. But she couldn’t. Trinity had beaten her alcohol addiction. So, Tara didn’t want Trinity thinking that she was having problems kicking her addiction. “I just got out of group. Then I went to lunch with Rance Edwards.” She left out the part about how that lunch caused her to pack her bags so she could leave this treatment facility. But Tara was never a fan of telling all her business. Some things need to be left, where you left them. That was her motto, and the reason why Rance had rubbed her the wrong way.

  “Rance Edwards is one of the most sought after gospel singers in the industry today. I can’t believe he’s dealing with substance abuse issues.”

  “Why can’t Rance Edwards have a substance abuse problem? You and I have one… we’re all in the music business. Whether it’s gospel or R & B, there’s still a lot of stress to deal with.”

  “I’m going to correct you on one thing,” Trinity told her. “I did have a substance abuse problem and my drug of choice was alcohol, but God delivered me. I no longer have a desire for the taste of alcohol, I am free from all of that and you can be too… and so can Rance.”

  “Are you getting ready to pray for us or something?” Tara didn’t like the way Trinity was sounding. This was not the same ride-or-die chick she came out to California with.

  “That’s a good idea, Tara. Why don’t you and I pray right now and then I’ll pray for Rance when we hang up.”

  Tara started laughing. “I was just messing with you, Trinity. Rance is not a patient at the rehab. He moderated our group session. I guess that was his good deed for the day or something.”

  “That’s good to hear. I’ve always had respect for Rance. And I love his music. It’s so upbeat and yet it still ministers to the soul.”

  Tara was surprised that Trinity knew so much about Rance Edwards. It wasn’t like he ran in the same circles with them. But lately it seemed like Trinity was going in a different direction and Tara didn’t know how she felt about that. “When are you coming back to Cali? I miss you, girl.”

  “The thing is… I don’t think I’m coming back,” Trinity told her friend honestly.

  “Theresa said you wouldn’t be coming back. But I didn’t think she knew what she was talking about. How can you do this to me?” Tara exploded out of her seat. She started pacing the floor.

  “I’m finally where God wants me to be, Tara. I can’t just turn my back on Him again.”

  “This is a joke, right? You think I don’t know that you’re down there with Jarod Hartland. And all this God stuff you’re talking is just so you can convince him that you’re no longer a party girl.”

  “I don’t want to fight with you, Tara. You were too stoned to hear anything I had to say on Christmas Eve, but this is for real. I have re-dedicated my life to the Lord. And although I would love for Jarod to be a part of my life, my relationship with the Lord does not concern him.”

  Trinity was talking, but Tara was so angry that she hadn’t even processed Trinity’s comments about having a relationship with the Lord, she was only focused on what this meant for her. “So why am I even here if the group isn’t getting back together?”

  Sounding as calm as a cop, talking a lunatic down from a ledge, Trinity responded, “Hon, you knew that we weren’t getting back together when Tina decided on a solo career. And I’m still praying, seeking the Lord on what I’m supposed to do with the rest of my life.”

  “Then why is Theresa writing music for us? You do know that she won’t be able to keep a roof over her kids head if we don’t get another recording deal?”

  “I didn’t know Theresa was writing music. She didn’t tell me.”

  “Maybe that’s because she knows how selfish you are. And that it wouldn’t matter to you what happened to her and the kids, because you’re too busy seeking the Lord to worry about any of us.”

  “That’s not true, Tara and you know it.”

  Throwing up her hands as she glanced at her suitcase, Tara said, “Whatever. I’m done talking about it. And I’m done with this rehab. I’m going home.”

  Trinity practically screamed into the phone. “Please don’t do that. You have a lot of unresolved issues that need to be dealt with so you can get on with your life.”

  “I’m resolving one of my issues right now. Don’t call me anymore, Trinity. This friendship is over.” With that Tara hit the end button and then blocked her best friend’s number. She then picked up her suitcase and bounced.

  ~~~~

  “Have you heard from Tara,” Trinity said as she rushed past Theresa. “She’s not taking my calls and her counselor confirmed that she left the rehab last night.”

  “Hello to you, too.” Theresa closed the door behind Trinity and the two headed to Theresa’s office.

  The clock on the wall in her office indicated that it was six in the morning. She had been up since five, trying to finish a song that had been tugging on her heart since she’d prayed, asking God for help.

  “I had no idea that she left the rehab. I’ve been so busy working on these songs that I haven’t had a chance to reach out to her.”

  “I talked to her the other day. She got really upset when I told her that I’m coming back to California. She said their was no reason for her to stay clean and that she was leaving the rehab.”

  Theresa shook her head, then as her stomach growled she asked Trinity, “Are you hungry?”
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  “It’s too early for me to eat breakfast.”

  “Well, I’ll be right back. I’m starving.” Theresa rushed into the kitchen, pulled a cup of chocolate pudding out of the fridge, sliced some bananas into it, then topped it off with whip cream. As she walked back into her office, happily eating her snack, Theresa asked, “What is Tara’s problem? You’ve known her a long time, so please tell me why she freaks out around Christmas time every year?”

  Trinity hesitated a moment, but then she decided that secrets didn’t help anybody. “I know you care about Tara, or you wouldn’t be trying to help her, so I’m going to tell you about the one thing in her life that she has never been able to let go… when Tara was ten, she begged her grandmother to buy a real Christmas tree. Her mother used the same old fake tree every year, and Tara just wanted to know what it was like to smell a real tree inside the house.

  “Her grandmother bought the tree, and Tara and her mother would drive her over to her grandmother’s ever day, so she could water the tree and sweep up the pine needles as they fell to the floor. But she missed a couple of days because of choir practice. We were getting ready for a big Christmas production that year…. anyway, when Tara and her mother went to the grandmother’s house on Christmas Eve, they discovered that the house was on fire and her grandmother died.

  “Tara has always blamed herself, no matter how many people told her that it was not her fault.”

  “I’ve never heard her talk about her grandmother,” Theresa said, while licking the chocolate off of her spoon.

  “It’s that good, huh?” Trinity said as she watched Theresa devour her pudding.

  “I wish I had another one,” Theresa admitted as she wiped the chocolate from the bottom of the cup and then licked it off of her fingers.

  “You do know that you don’t like chocolate, right?”

  “Every now and then I get a taste for Chocolate pudding. I can’t explain it… that’s just the way it is,” Theresa said as she sat the cup down and looked away.

  “The only time I’ve known you to eat chocolate pudding like that is…” Trinity put her hand to her mouth as her eyes widened. “You’re not… Oh my God. Whose the daddy?”

  “What do you mean, ‘whose the daddy?” Okay, maybe she did have three kids by three different men, but Theresa was highly offended that Trinity thought she would add a fourth daddy to the mix.

  “I mean… w-well. You did break up with Tony. So, do you have a new boyfriend or what?”

  Theresa’s phone rang. She didn’t care who was on the other line. She was going to answer just so she could avoid Trinity’s inquisition. But the minute she heard Tony’s voice, she was tempted to hang the phone back up.

  “Turn on TMZ,” he shouted.

  She frowned into the phone. Theresa hadn’t watched TMZ since she caught that story about Tony and the mystery woman at his hotel. “I don’t watch that show.”

  “Please Theresa, just do this for me. I’m begging you.”

  Putting a hand over the phone, Theresa turned to Trinity. “It’s Tony. He wants me to see something on TMZ. Can you grab that remote and find the channel?” She then went back to her conversation with Tony. “I don’t know what you want me to see on that crazy show, but I’m telling you right now, if this is another humiliation, I will never speak to you again in life.”

  “I didn’t humiliate you the first time. I tried to honor our relationship by not letting that woman into my hotel room, but you wouldn’t believe me. So, just sit there and watch the next segment that’s coming up on TMZ and call me back when you’re ready to talk.”

  Tony hung up and Theresa was left staring at the phone, astonished that he would just hang up on her. But she didn’t have much time to dwell on it. Because Harvey Levin was saying, “Okay a couple months ago we told you about this woman that was seen with Tony Black, the running back for the San Diego Chargers at that time. Tony has since been traded to the Carolina Panthers, and we owe him a big apology.

  “For one thing,” Harvey continued, “We received the pictures we used from the mystery woman herself. And now we know that it was all part of some elaborate extortion plot.”

  “And how do we know that,” his co-anchor said, as a picture of a woman in handcuffs, getting into the back of a police car flashed on the screen. “Because this is Alisha Walker, the same woman who sent us those pictures of Tony Black. But she is also the same woman who is being arrested for having pictures taken of her encounter with one of the Los Angeles Lakers and then trying to extort money from him. She told him that if she didn’t get the money, the pictures would go to his wife.”

  Harvey Levin added, “Alisha had pictures of this baller in the nude and everything, We’re guessing that she didn’t get anywhere near Tony Black’s bedroom, or we would have received those pictures from her as well. So, Tony, please accept our apology.”

  By the time the segment ended, Theresa was shaking as tears flowed down her face like a river. Trinity handed her some tissue, but the tears kept coming.

  “Why are you so upset. This is good news, Theresa. Tony didn’t cheat on you.”

  “B-but I-I put him out. And I’m pregnant… you were right about that,” Theresa blurted.

  Trinity sat down next to her friend and put her arm around the girl. They hugged, and cried together until they were all cried out. When they pulled apart, and both women were wiping their eyes, Trinity asked, “So, the baby is Tony’s?”

  “Of course it’s Tony’s baby. That you would think I’d go out and get a fourth baby-daddy, just shows how little you must think of me.” Theresa had prayed, asking God to turn her life around, but she was still angry at the way things had turned out and willing to take her anger out on Trinity and anyone else who got in her way.

  “I’m sorry that I assumed the worst. But you and Tony broke up, so I didn’t know what else to think.”

  Dotting at her eyes with the tissue, Theresa said, “No, I’m the one who should apologize. I shouldn’t be taking anything out on you, when I’m the one who messed up… again, as usual.”

  “But Tony wants to marry you. So, just make up with him and you’ll finally have the family you’ve been searching for every since your dad left you and your mom.”

  Theresa smiled at the truth in Trinity’s statement. “I forgot that I told you about my dad. But Tony might not want to marry me anymore, especially after he finds out that I’ve been hiding this pregnancy from him.” She shook her head. “And to think that I prayed and asked God to turn my problems around just like He turned yours around. But nothing magical happened for me.”

  “What about what we just saw on TMZ? That girl getting arrested and the truth coming out may have been your magical moment. It just may be time for you to drop your pride and apologize to Tony like those God-awful people over at TMZ did.”

  “What if he doesn’t want to hear from me?” Theresa sounded scared. Because she was. What if she had lost her last chance to be a family with a man who truly loved her and her children?

  “He must want some kind of reaction from you, or why else would he have told you to watch the show?”

  A smile began to creep across Theresa’s face. She asked Trinity, “When are you going back to Charlotte?”

  “I was hoping to fly back out in the morning. I’d like to attend New Year’s Eve service at my church.”

  “Do you think that I could attend that service with you?”

  Trinity wrapped her arms around Theresa again. “Oh my God, yes! I’m so happy for you and Tony. Now if only I could knock some since into Tara’s head, then I would say that this has been the best Christmas season in my lifetime.”

  Theresa stood up. “Let me go fix some breakfast for my kids and then I’ll help you knock some since into Tara’s head.”

  8

  Theresa had the bowls in place as the kids stormed into the kitchen, ready to eat. But as Brielle took her seat and looked into her bowl, she frowned as she complained, “Oatmeal, again
?”

  “Better oatmeal than no meal at all,” Theresa mimicked the same words her grandmother used to tell her when she was a kid, complaining about the old faithful oatmeal that always found its way to the breakfast table. Back then Theresa didn’t understand how hard it was to keep food on the table for a growing family. If her grandmother was still alive she would thank the old girl for all those cooking lessons… and all the lessons on stretching meals. They just might come in handy right about now.

  TJ had climbed into his high chair and started beating the table, saying, “Oatmeal, oatmeal.”

  Smiling, Theresa handed TJ’s bowl to Mikey. “Take that to your brother. At least somebody appreciates the food around here.”

  Mikey put the bowl down in front of his brother. As he headed back to the table, he told his mother, “I like your oatmeal. But I like the oatmeal cookies you make the best. Those things should be packaged and sold.”

  “If these songs I’m writing don’t pan out. I just may have to package some cookies and sell them,” Theresa said jokingly.

  “If we can get Tara on the straight and narrow, then hopefully, your songs will hit the mark,” Trinity said as she sipped on her hot green tea.

  Theresa put the oatmeal pot back on the stove and sat down in front of Trinity. “The songs I’m writing aren’t for Tara.”

  “Well, that’s what she thinks. She told me that you were busy writing songs for the group. That’s why she got so mad when I told her I wasn’t coming back. I just don’t have it in me to sing right now.”

  “You don’t have it in you to sing R&B,” Theresa corrected. “But since I prayed to the Lord the other day, all I’ve been writing is gospel lyrics. And I believe the Lord wants you to sing them.”

  “Me, singing gospel music? That’s crazy.”

  “Why is it crazy?” Theresa asked. “Aren’t you a Christian now? Don’t you love the Lord just as much as any other Christian?”

  “Yes, I’m a Christian and of course I love the Lord. But it wasn’t too long ago that I was falling down drunk in front of millions of viewers during that award show. People haven’t forgotten about that. Nobody would take me seriously as a gospel singer.”