Being Celeste

by Tshetsana Senau

  I giggled. “Fortunately for you, I’m not in the mood to hold anyone hostage today.”

  “Actually I’m thinking, what a shame!” he replied, a smile on his face.

  We both laughed. By golly, are we flirting? No, that can’t be possible. I don’t know how to flirt. There was a brief silence after the laugh. I started to panic, worried about what I should say to him. I can’t stand the awkwardness. He’s so good looking. Thabang has deep brown eyes, depicting all the humble a man can possess. And his thick eyebrows intensifying the brown in them, it’s so...good looking. But I can’t just stare at him. I let my eyes fall away to my nails while I thought of something to say to him. I don’t know, maybe I should talk about music.

  “So what kind of music to do you listen to?” he asked.

  Really? Now that’s just weird, we’re thinking the same thing at the same time. I only have that thing with Kate and no one else. Is it a coincidence or are the gods of love trying to tell me something over here? No! I’m not going to read too much into it, I am a different woman now. Now Celeste, the man asked you a question, so answer it.

  “Music, hmm let’s see. Most people find it weird, but by nature I listen to a lot of rock music,” I replied.

  “No way, me too!” His eyes filled with excitement and he began listing some of his favourite bands.

  My heart started filling up with all kinds of joys from all kinds of direction. It’s fate, all of this. Now most people around me don’t listen to rock music, as much as I do. I’m like a disciple to the stuff. You don’t even want to know how deep I can get because it can take years to perfect the explanation. Kate also loves rock music. That’s mostly part of the reason why we became such good friends, through the music. When you go up to a person and tell them you like rock, they look at you like you’re crazy for even saying it. I now have faith in the world again.

  “So who’s your favourite band?” he asked.

  Yes! We have found something to talk about.

  “I’m into a lot of classic rock, so it would have to be Queen. Their music just speaks to me,” I replied, looking all inspired by what I was saying. “Under Pressure is such a beautiful song. When I hear it playing, my imagination goes to all kinds of places, with just the tune. The message the song has is a whole other story.”

  He smiled, looking like he was devoted to every word that came out of my mouth.

  “You surprise me, you know that?”

  I stopped my inspiration thing and looked at him. “Why do you say that?”

  “It’s nothing. I just thought I knew the kind of person you are, but clearly I don’t. At the gym you’re this shy girl, but right now when you talk about music, your eyes just light up, and I can see the real you.”

  Really? Now he’s getting me shy again. My eyes dropped to my fingers and I felt all jelly like.

  “Oh.”

  “Don’t- don’t do that,” he continued. “That shine in your eyes really suits you, Celeste.”

  I looked up and met his smile, flashing at me.

  “I’m sorry,” I said in an almost whisper. I was losing the ability to talk again.

  What? Why did I just say that? But he was still smiling, so maybe he didn’t hear me apologize instead of thanking him for his complement.

  “Celeste, I actually came here to see if you wanted to hang out today...with me.”

  What? Cue the mental dancing and hopping about. I knew it, I knew it! But this is unbelievable. I had to be dreaming, right? Maybe I was starring in a movie I didn’t know about. How the hell does a girl like me, get asked out twice in one day, on her first time? Maybe the boy repellent wore of. Or maybe, it’s just based on the general like of my personality (that’s hilarious for me to think that. Yeah, right!). I wanted to ask him though, why he wanted to hang with me. But wait, he wanted to just hang out, does that mean it’s a date or just purely as platonic friends because he enjoys my company? Ugh, crap! Hold the mental dancing and hopping about. This is confusing. Maybe I should ask him. I always see it done in the movies when the girl asks the guy if it’s a date. But what if it’s not a date, then my question will freak him out and he’ll run away. And then I’ll be disappointed and go back to being afraid to opening up to boys like him. What does hanging out mean? You know what, one step at a time; that’s what Kate would say. I’m not going to ask complicated questions anymore, I’ll just go with the flow.

  I began invisible, deep breathing in and out, to calm myself. “Sure. What did you have in mind?”

  “I don’t know yet. You’ll just have to trust that I can come up with the perfect place I can take you,” he said, oozing with excitement.

  That’s when I remembered my non official lunch date with Taboka. Of course there had to be a minor complication in all of this. I had to be super babe and attract the attention of two cousins. If they were not related then this situation would be easy. But how do I tell Thabang that I sort of agreed to lunch with his cousin and that we can’t hang out until I get out of it. I don’t get why they would approach me separately. If they are always together, don’t they talk about the girls they like? Oh no! My boy repellent had to leave me in this situation. I guess being a babe comes with its consequences. I have to be the good deed doer and tell Thabang that I can’t go out and hang with him because I promised Taboka I’d hang with him. Fucking idiot, Taboka is. Why didn’t I have a rough morning and miss the gym? Now I have to sacrifice the boy I like for him. Wait, I might have to sacrifice him too if I don’t want to cause a riff in the family. But am I that much of a catch to have two cousins fighting over me. Whoa! That’s accelerated progress, I must admit. To go from nothing, to boys fighting over me!

  I put a serious face on and said, “You know what, on second thought, I can’t hang today.”

  His smile washed away all of a sudden. It killed me.

  “What, why?” he replied.

  “My best friend is coming home today, and I have to be there when she arrives. That’s why I’m closing early.” That was partly true, you know. But I was stalling time, so that I could find a solution out of this Taboka asking me out thing. Maybe there was a way for me to get out of it and no one ever having to find out...that’s impossible because they are related. What is Taboka going to say when he sees me out one day, snogging his cousin? He’s going to think I’m a bitch. But maybe there’s a way to let him know that he bores me to death and we have nothing in common, and that Thabang is more in my league than he is. He can’t blame us for our love, and he has to blame his boring personality. I’ll make him understand that our relationship can’t just survive on his good looks, but there has to be a balance. He’ll understand that, he’s bright, he goes to university.

  “Oh, that’s fine.”

  I knew he was disappointed. Who wouldn’t be, having a catch like me stand them up? “I should lock up now and go home.” I grabbed the keys, jangling them to show him that it was time to go. I did that on purpose too, so that I looked like hard to get material. Always keep him on his toes, and don’t be desperate. I should write a book! “Another time then.” I smiled and opened the door for him. And he left.

  Chapter 14

  Kate came home last night. I wanted to be super pissed about her missing in action stint, but then she explained to me why she couldn’t take my calls. But that was way after I had seen her. I was at her house, the minute I heard she had arrived, ready with a bag of news and snacks. I knew that I shouldn’t be snacking, but this was a special occasion. I almost got mauled by the beast she calls a dog.

  “Back!” I yelled, at it when it came running towards me all vicious and tenaciously. “Fotsek!” I couldn’t feel my whole body, I was so scared. Kate’s mother held it back, insisting that it would never bite me or hurt me. Dog owners; they never seize to amaze me, always claiming that their canines are harmless when obviously, they are not. I wonder if there’s a special convention they go to where they are told to lie to visitors and tell them that their dogs don’t bite
. They probably take joy when they see someone yelling in fear at a dog so that it could back the hell up and leave them alone. I mean, it is kind of funny, when someone screams in fear at an on coming dog. Look at me, I yelled back! Some good that will do to save my skin from dog bites.

  Then I saw her, Kate, waiting for me inside her house with a huge smile on her face. It’s like we had never met, but we knew each other. She was so gorgeous and absolutely breathtaking. All my anger flew out the window. I had a hot best friend.

  “My god, what did they do to you?” I said, walking up to her in astonishment. “You look so pretty.”

  Kate was wearing a super tight mini halter dress with sequins at the boob area, and stilettos. I didn’t know she could wear high heels. Her hair, the pony tail was gone. It was all curled up and wavy and hot! And she had makeup on. At that instant, I’m not all that sure, but I think a tear just plummeted down one of the cheeks, a tear of joy. Kate ran up to me and gave me a grand hug. She honestly looked like one of those girls in the fashion magazines, the hot bombshells, and I’m not just saying that.

  “So do you like my transformation?” said Kate.

  I couldn’t take my eyes off her glittering eyes. She was literally glowing from all the makeup. She looked like a star.

  “You know I love it!” and I did. Phew! The mono coloured outfits were gone, of course I loved it. “What time’s the show?” I was there to watch the premier of her episode, like we promised we would do together. Her parents were just as excited as I was, her mother more than her father. I sensed that he was a little unhappy with the shortness of Kate’s dress. But he’s an old man, what do they know anyway?

  “I’m so happy to be back at home. And I missed you, Celeste!” said Kate, giving me a hug.

  “A lot has happened, best friend of mine. Wait until you hear what I’ve been up to while you were away.”

  “Really, I doubt it will be as life changing as mine.”

  What does she mean she doubts?

  Kate and I agreed to watch the show first. But I was so eager to tell her my news; the fact that I got asked out twice today. I wished I had the power to communicate through thoughts and somehow convey my experiences like that. Kate says that she had signed a legal contract which required her not to communicate with the outside world during the filming of the show, something about her transformation being leaked before the actual airing of the show. Her parents knew about it, they just couldn’t tell me, so they say. I just think that a simple text, explaining to me the circumstances would have worked, instead of me, calling her like an idiot while she wasn’t available. I kept my anger at bay because it’s very hard to be upset with Kate. It’s like I’m under her spell. Every time I feel like giving her hell, it just fades away. We watched Kate’s transformation, from ugly duckling to swan. I was rather impressed with the work the professionals did with her. But for some reason, I really wanted to get Kate into her really messy room and talk to her. I didn’t care about the fact that she had turned into a swan. Many people would agree that turning into a swan, versus having your first boy troubles is kind of a no brainer when it comes to priority.

  I dragged her into her room and shut the door as soon as the show was over.

  “That was me, on tv!” she screamed, holding me at the shoulders and jumping like a crazy person.

  I jumped with her for a while, and then I stopped and put on a straight face. “Kate, we really need to talk, because I need your help. Here’s the deal, you have a lot to tell me about your adventure in the city, as do I about my adventure in Palapye.”

  She stopped jumping but still kept her excitement. I guess it was because I had some juicy news to share. “I too have news for you, Celeste.”

  “Yes-yes, I know. But let me go first.” I sat her down and told her about Thabang and Taboka. I couldn’t wait any longer. I told her about my dilemma and the fact that I had no heart to break the cousins’ relationship apart. I think she was more stunned at the fact that I did not have feelings for Taboka then me being a babe. “Well, what should I do?”

  Kate got up and began walking around her cluttered room. This would be more relaxing if we were in another room in her house. I was having second thoughts about sleeping over. I wanted to bring out the list we compiled on the changes we wanted to make in our lives. She hadn’t lived up to her promise to keep her room tidy.

  “Celeste, I think you should just be honest with the both of them. If you like Thabang, don’t let Taboka’s feelings stand in your way. This is the time to be selfish.”

  “Yes!”

  “Be selfish, and confident!”

  “Yes!” I protested. I had missed her motivational speeches.

  Kate could not stop professing her delight in my progress. “I should leave you alone more often. I wonder how many boys will be falling at your feet then.”

  I laughed. “Yeah, you’re right. You should go away more often, and leave me in charge.” Well no, that sounded better in my head. I really didn’t want Kate to ever leave me again.

  Kate was really exhausted from her trip, so she went to bed early. I don’t get why she was so tired because the city is just three hours away. At first she sort of passed out, while I was talking about my boy troubles. I thought it was selfish of her, but she woke up and I managed to pull out another thirty minutes. She excused herself and went to sleep, still wearing makeup. Nevertheless, I was happy to have her home.

  ***************

  It was Sunday and I had spent all weekend at Kate’s house. I hoped my parents weren’t missing me too much. I guess not, because none of them took the liberty to call and ask me how I was doing. I wonder who’s making tea for them. I don’t think I’ve ever had this much fun with Kate. It’s probably the feeling one gets when they are hot property. You know, when you’re worry free after news come in from the future, notifying you that you will not die a spinster after all. I helped Kate unpack her luggage and clean her room. The show’s producers hooked her up with some fine clothes’ shops because she came home with an entirely new wardrobe. I hope that this means they threw away her pink pants. I had missed Kate so much that after breakfast we went to watch a movie, for all time’s sake.

  I said, after the movie was over, “It’s going to be very exciting tomorrow with you back at work. I think I have adapted this new habit where I pretend you’re there and as a result, I talk to myself.”

  Kate was quiet and gloomy. It was sort of a transition really. She went from really refreshed, from the movie, to expressionless.

  “Kate?” I called, waiting for her to comment on my last statement. I continued, “Then I have to make a decision about Taboka and Thabang. We can discuss that tomorrow too.”

  Kate grabbed my hand and pulled me from the sofa. “Come on Celeste, I need to tell you something.”

  As soon as we got to her room she shut her door and ordered me so sit on her bed....Okay? Kate was all serious and bossy. I kept on wondering what had possessed her. Maybe she was becoming a diva. She still hadn’t shown me how to wear makeup, she owes me that much. Oh, I just adore her new image.

  “Celeste, I still haven’t told you about my encounters in the city,” she said, pulling up a chair. She then smiled. I sensed it was excitement, you know, the kind one gets when they have news to share.

  In my mind I was thinking, she also found a boyfriend. But wait, I don’t have a boyfriend yet, but still. I sighed, sort of releasing the excitement that was building within me. It was not my fault, it was Kate who was making me excited.

  “I had a wonderful time in the city,” said Kate. She paused and looked at me for approval.

  Is that it? I thought to myself. Oh, now I get where she’s going with this. She wants me to say, “So, what happened?”

  “So I kept my mind open, during this makeover thing you entered me in. I did not refuse any kind of suggestions thrown my way...well, except that one time they wanted to pluck my eyebrows.”

  I knew it!

 
Kate continued. “I mean, personally I don’t think eyebrows should be plucked.”

  Ugh! Here were go again.

  “Eyebrows were not created to be plucked, they are there for a reason and we shouldn’t do anything to them. I tried to explain that to the nice man with the makeup bag, but of course he looked at me like I was a loon.”

  Shocker!

  “So how did they finally get you to get them plucked?” I asked, about to fall asleep from the eyebrow protest.

  “Well, I don’t know really. Something deep within me just ordered me to try it out. Then of course the end result was fantastic. I never knew I had such pretty eyes,” said Kate, leaning towards me and blinking out of control, to emphasize her pretty eyes.

  “Yep, you do have pretty eyes, Kate. Please continue with your story.”

  “Right! So after the makeup and hair people were done with me, which took a good three days, we went shopping for a complete new wardrobe.”

  Kate’s new wardrobe is to die for. I feel a little jealous that she has all these new clothes to flaunt and experiment with. But I am still very glad that she got the opportunity to have new clothes. I love shopping. I wish I would have gone along with her.

  “Which brings me to the news that I have been delaying,” said Kate, looking gloomy again. “I didn’t know how to tell you because this is major. It’s exciting really, if you think about it.”

  “What is it, Kate?” I wanted her to tell me already.

  “Celeste, I can’t work at the shop anymore.”

  Of course I was shocked, but for the most part, I thought she was joking. So I didn’t take her seriously and I pretended like she didn’t say anything.

  She continued. “While I was shopping for new clothes, we went into this other boutique to look for party dresses. When I came out of the change room to show the shopping expert my look, this woman came up to me, and she said her name was Nelly K. She is a fashion model scout and she said I had ‘the look’.”