Sunlight

by Gwen Cole

  Seth shook his head. “No, he hasn’t forgotten about you. How could you even think that?”

  I didn’t answer, instead I took the conversation away all together. The subject was coming too close to whether I would ever see him again. “Do you want to make it an early night?” I asked.

  Seth kept his gaze level with mine, but just nodded his head after a moment. We dropped our packs near the door and made sure it was locked, bringing our guns with us near our beds. I found some heavy blankets in the small, and only closet, and spread them across the floor, making a makeshift bed for Seth. I kicked my shoes off and pushed Ethan over to the far side of the mattress. He didn’t even flinch. The poor kid was exhausted.

  Sleep didn’t come easily. I laid there awhile, long past after Seth fell into a deep dreamlike state. I listened to his breathing until the light left the sky, leaving me in the dark. Another night full of troubled sleep.

  And it would probably be that way until I found West again.

  ✢✢✢

  I woke to an empty cabin with sunlight streaming in through the windows. Muted voices came from somewhere outside, and a few early morning birds chirped away from a hidden branch. Quickly stomping into my shoes and fixing my hair, I stepped outside onto the damp ground. The sun was barely up, just skimming the forest floor, searching for any patches of black to turn into day. Dew glistened off the rare strands of grass and leaves that were littered across the ground.

  I instantly saw Ethan wave for me from the corner of my eye, and I made my way over to the small campfire, trying to ignore the people glancing at me. Many of them were still sleeping, but there were enough of them out to make me conscious of their eyes. In the back of my mind, I was just waiting for one of them to pull out a knife stab me in the back, finding out in that moment they were an enemy spy. One moment too late.

  Ethan stood and walked over before I reached the fire.

  “Hey Peanut, Abria said she would show you where you can wash up, if you want.”

  I glanced over his shoulder at a girl not older than myself who stood and gave a small wave. She was just a bit shorter than me with long dark hair that matched her eyes.

  Just thinking about washing my hair made me self conscious of how dirty it was. I could almost feel the grit in it. For a moment, I thought about doing dreadlocks and just be done with it all together.

  “Yeah, that would be great actually.”

  She smiled wide and said, “Okay! It’s not that warm but it’s better than nothing.” She shrugged.

  I was surprised at myself as I gave her a small smile in return, and it wasn’t fake. I guessed the notion of clean hair will do that to someone. “I’ll take whatever I can get,” I said. “Give me a minute and I’ll get another change of clothes.”

  I walked back to our cabin and dug through my pack with vigor. Everything in it was dirty. No, it was beyond dirty. I slung my pack over my shoulder, figuring I could wash everything while I was there, eager for clean clothes and determined to have them as soon as possible.

  Abria was waiting outside for me and I followed her out of camp. As we got deeper into the woods she veered off and picked her path carefully through a dense part of the forest with more greenery sprouting from the ground.

  “So you’re from the South City, right?” Abria asked over her shoulder.

  “Yeah.”

  “And you really walked the whole way?” she asked. “I could so not do that.”

  “Yeah, walked . . . ran,” I mumbled under my breath. “And maybe a half day of riding in a truck.” After I thought back on it, I had traveled a long way. It would have been so much harder if West hadn’t been with me. I probably would have never have made it this far without him. I was somehow stronger when he was around, and when he left, I went back to my regular self. I felt dull and plain. I frowned at the thought.

  “Did you get tired a lot?”

  I raise an eyebrow at her turned head, trying to think of the point to these questions and finding none. “Um, not really. It’s fine when you travel at a steady pace.”

  “Were you with your brother the whole time?”

  “No, just within the last week.”

  “How long do you think you will be staying here for?”

  So many questions. She seemed really nice, but . . . seriously, I felt as if I was taking a quiz. A thought came to me that she may be doing just that, pretending to be my friend, only to get information.

  I shook my head. I was getting too paranoid. She was just trying to be nice. I could tell by the sound of her voice. I wanted that bitterness that still lingered in me to disappear, so maybe this would be a good place to start; being a normal human and acting like one.

  “Maybe a day or two,” I finally answer. “We aren’t sure yet.”

  “Your friend Seth seems nice. He’s really quiet, though.” She dropped her head at that statement, hooking some hair behind her ear.

  I smiled at the thought of Seth with Abria being together. “He has his quiet days, but he’ll warm up, I’m sure.”

  “You think so?” Her question seemed to have two meanings behind it.

  I nodded as she turned to glance at me. “Yeah, I do. How long have you been living at camp?”

  “For the last month. My dad thought it would be best to leave the city just in case something happened.”

  “Wait—” I tried to process the exact words she used. “You mean nothing has happened there?”

  “Well, in the beginning of course, there was the initial attack, but after we took back control they haven’t been back since. Though, everyone there is getting ready for another attack, and they think it’ll be soon.”

  “So the army isn’t in control? We heard it was a possibility, but we never had any proof.”

  She glanced back at me again and smiled. “Yeah, it’s just us there now. Well, for now. Like I said, they’re not going to leave us alone for long.”

  That was good news for us; our enemy only had control of two of the three cities.

  We came around a soft bend made up of thick brush and young trees that led onto a shore of a small river. I could’ve jumped across it in two bounds but it looked deep, and the water was calm and flowing. The shore was littered of small rounds pebbles that seemed to match the forest; their earthy colors blending in with everything around them.

  Abria turned back towards, me and dug her hand into the pocket of her jeans, pulled it out, and handed me a small plastic shampoo bottle.

  “You can use the rest of it. I’ve got another.”

  I took the bottle from her gratefully. “Thanks.”

  “I’ll go back to camp.” Then she added, “Unless you’ll feel more comfortable if I’m within shouting distance, but Charley and the others make a good perimeter.”

  I shook my head. “No, it’s fine. I’ll see you when I get back, and thank you. My hair feels filthy.”

  She laughed a little. “I know what you mean.”

  I watched her disappear around the bend before turning back towards the water. My heart fluttered with eagerness of having a bath, even though it was no shower. I bent down, placed my bag on the pebbles, and pulled out all my dirty clothes, leaving my pistol on top of my empty pack.

  I stood at the shoreline for a moment, debating whether I should do everything at once or not. I kicked off my shoes and plunged into the river with the clothes wrapped in my arms; done with deciding and ready to be wet. The water was cool but felt fantastic, and just deep enough so it came up right below my neck. I just floated there for a while, enjoying the water and the warm sunlight on my face. It reminded me of my parent’s bathroom back home, when I snuck in there when nobody was home, relishing the small amount of luxury.

  I came back to reality with that thought, remembering I wasn’t home but somewhere in the middle of the forest while our country was in war. I was abruptly conscious of the surrounding trees and hidden places where a person could hide, just waiting for the right moment to attack. I was
really getting too paranoid. My mind was making conclusions before I had the chance to think them through properly.

  The first thing I did was clean the filth from of my clothes. I scrubbed them together until all the visible dirt and grit came out and there wasn’t much else I could do. I threw my extra clothes on the shore and took off my shirt and pants underwater, also washing them thoroughly.

  Now was the part I was really excited for: washing my hair. The first time was hard with trying to untangle the knots; there were a lot. I washed it three times and used up every ounce of shampoo in that tiny bottle. By the time I was finished there were goose bumps on my arms and the water felt cold after being in it so long.

  I waded to shore, slowly pushing against the soft tide, and quickly pulled on my wet shirt and pants along with my shoes. My ears heard the crunch of somebody’s feet on the pebbles behind me, and I flinched. My heart fluttered as I spun around with my pistol already in hand, ready for whoever was there. My veins seemed to be on fire with adrenaline.

  To be honest, I was surprised at my own reflexes.

  I never used to be this quick.

  “Whoa! Reese!”

  It was Seth. I immediately lowered my gun. “Sorry,” I mumbled. My cheeks warmed with embarrassment.

  He put his hands down and took a deep breath. “It’s all right, I understand. Everyone is a little jumpy nowadays.” He was soaking wet, just as I was, his hair tied back.

  “Decided to jump in with all your clothes too, huh?” I asked.

  He laughed a little, looking down at himself and shrugged. “I figured it was better to walk around wet for a few hours than have dirty clothes.”

  “Same here.”

  I picked up my pack and we started walking back through the woods together. My eyes regularly glanced at the tree line, watching for any movement; new habits thanks to the war.

  “Do you ever try to imagine what life was like before the Fall?” Seth asked warily, “Before the Three Cities?”

  “I think we all do. I guess it was like what it is now . . . just bigger.” I thought about the images forming in my head, but I could never see them clearly. “When I try to picture what it was like, I always think of the old movies that I watch. I suppose it was like that, but I don’t really know.”

  “I don’t see how you like watching all those classics over and over again.” Seth shook his head and laughed. “But in some ways, you could be right.”

  “It was different from our world, that’s for sure.”

  And that was the truth. The facts from the past were vague, and almost forgotten. Schools tended to skip over that part in our history lessons so we would eventually forget. People had no problem not discussing the near extinction of humankind. They wanted to think about what was present, and their future, the fact that the Cities were growing, and the forgotten sites were now crumbling and overgrown. It was something people never talked about.

  “Did you ever think about going down south?” Seth asked. “To look at the ruins?”

  I smiled. “I used to, but it’s been a while since it’s crossed my mind. I’ve always thought one day that I would make it down there, to see the old buildings.”

  “Me too, though, I’ve always been afraid of what I would find.”

  “You mean you’re afraid you’ll find out that everything is true?” I asked.

  Seth hesitated, staring down at his feet. He nodded. “Maybe. The truth just seems so unreal.”

  “Yeah, but so does this war too.”

  We shared a smile as we came near the cabins. The camp was bustling with activity now that everyone was awake, so we made a bee line towards our cabin and went inside.

  Seth glanced at me as we were opened our packs and started hanging our wet clothes over the chairs. He seemed distracted as he fingered his wet shirt, staring at it blankly. “It’s weird having all these people around,” he mumbled, finally draping the shirt over a chair.

  “Ethan seems all right with it.” I could see him out the window, surrounded by other kids his age, laughing at a joke I couldn’t hear. He always seemed at home wherever he was.

  “Yeah, he does. Ethan’s funny that way though. Like a chameleon.” Seth flashed a quick grin before returning to his previous state. “I’m thinking maybe we can leave tomorrow sometime?”

  I just nodded. We were both still in the place where people made us nervous.

  “I’m going to go talk to Charley, to let him know then.”

  I just nodded again, staring at the floor.

  Seth left through the door, leaving me in a drowning silence. I wasn’t sure how long I stood there, staring at something I wasn’t seeing, but it seemed forever.

  ✢✢✢

  After eating lunch a few hours later our clothes were dry and I was sitting a little ways in the woods with Ethan. It was relaxing being away from everyone; finally spending some time alone with my brother like we were back at home again.

  Then I told him, “We’re going to be leaving tomorrow.”

  He paused a moment before going back to making a pinecone house. He wiped a hand across his face, brushing the hair away from his eyes. He nodded. “Okay.”

  “I thought you would put up more of a fight.” I crossed my arms and leaned back against the tree.

  “No. I’ll do whatever you guys want to do, I trust you. Especially if you don’t feel safe here.”

  “It’s not that I don’t feel safe,” I said, “it’s . . . just—”

  “I know.” He didn’t look up.

  I felt restless here. I wanted to say it but he already knew; the benefits of being siblings I suppose.

  “Abria really likes Seth,” he stated, trying to put on a little pine needle roof. I was surprised at how steady his hands were.

  “Yeah, I’ve noticed.” I wanted to add, ‘it was kind of hard not to’, but decided against it.

  “I saw them together earlier this morning.”

  “Where at?”

  He just shrugged, not really caring. So much for my source of information.

  We both heard shouting at the same time and looked towards the camp, but the trees were blocking our sight. Ethan stood hurriedly but I stayed where I was, figuring it was probably a couple teenagers getting into a fight. He walked away for a moment and then came running back.

  “Reese!”

  I pushed myself up, alerted. “What?”

  He came to a halt before me, taking short breaths with his excitement, “They’re bringing someone in.”

  I wasn’t sure if that was exciting or not. “So?”

  He narrowed his eyes and said, “They’re not locals.”

  Not locals.

  He turned his back and I was right behind him, staying on his heels as he trotted out of the woods. We came into view of the camp.

  What I was expecting wasn’t what I saw. I was expecting to see a uniformed soldier with Charley and his friends surrounding him. A soldier found at the wrong place and wrong time.

  But that’s not what I was seeing.

  What I was seeing had my heart fluttering and my legs stopping in mid-stride.

  I suddenly realized I never truly lost hope when I thought I had.

  West.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  I was probably thirty feet away when my legs decided to stop working properly. They locked in place and wouldn’t let me go any closer. Or maybe it just me; there was no way of telling. A wave of thrill washed through me like electricity and my stomach twisted into a million knots.

  People just walked past me as I stood there, towards the small crowd of spectators surrounding the newcomers.

  I didn’t blink, afraid that I was dreaming.

  Afraid he would suddenly disappear if I did.

  It was strange—seeing him again. It felt like one of my nightmares, repeating itself over and over. The one I never want to wake up from, just to find out it wasn’t true. But as I stood there, I realized this wasn’t a dream. The air was too fresh in my l
ungs and his face too clear. Too perfect.

  Charley was arguing with another man beside him, for reasons I didn’t know. And I didn’t care. My mind only registered the boy before me.

  West stood there silently, just listening with his eyes on the ground, not seeming to care about anything. His expression was composed and his posture relaxed. His pack was still around his shoulders, but his gun had been taken away. The black sweatshirt he was wearing still looked clean, like he had recently washed it; probably did, knowing him. There was a grey beanie on his head, but I could still make out pieces of his dark hair inching out along the edges.

  For some odd reason, I wished that I could see his hair; that short and messy mop that I always had the urge to touch. I had tried to keep the images in my head clear, but a person’s memory can only last for so long.

  The thing that bothered me most was the fact that his skin seemed paler, and the dark circles under his eyes were prominent. He didn’t seem as healthy as I remembered. More drawn out.

  I heard Ethan’s voice coming weakly through my ears, and also Seth’s, but I couldn’t hear what he said. Like a whispering echo in the back of a cave. I just couldn’t believe he was really here.

  Charley stopped arguing suddenly and turned his attention to Seth, who had come up behind him.

  “Seth, what are you doing?” Ethan looked up at him with confusion written across his face.

  “It’s fine, Ethan,” he reassured him. “Trust me.”

  West suddenly raised his head, looking at Ethan as he stood there next to Seth, with an incredulous expression. Because he recognized his name from the few times I talked about Ethan, West had remembered.

  West peeled his eyes off Ethan after a moment and starting scanning the crowd of faces that were trained on him. He scanned them franticly, without hesitation, almost chaotic-like.

  Then his gaze landed on me.

  His eyes were the same as I remembered when they stopped wandering. Bluer than the sky. As strong as lightning could ever be. I felt my heart racing and couldn’t regulate my breathing. I wanted to run to him, to have his arms surround me, to have them block out the cold that was always seeping into my heart.