Brave

by Natalie Gayle

  “What’s wrong with it?”

  Sophia shook her head with obvious exasperation. “And they let you stroll down a catwalk. What the hell were they thinking? I’ve seen hessian sacks that are sexier.”

  I paced some more and started to panic about what I was wearing. Was it okay? I just didn’t think I could wear something tight fitting.

  “You’re going to wear a hole in the carpet. I guarantee he’ll be here and right on time. Sensei is punctual.”

  I knew all of that. How could I be so excited and terrified all at the same time?

  “What am I doing, Soph? Am I crazy, even thinking we could have something?”

  “Oh stop it! For the hundredth time this morning, you’re not crazy. He’s a good guy and you’re doing the right thing. We went through this last night and again this morning. It’s just new. Just relax and enjoy the day. He’ll look after you.” Soph was frowning and shaking her head. I knew she was right, but I had so little dating experience and I was so far behind the eight ball.

  “Should I get changed?”

  Sophia looked at her watch. “I would, but that’s me and I’m not you.”

  What she was actually saying was she’d never had to contend with the looks that I got. Okay, it was time to focus on what he’d asked me to do. That would hopefully take my mind off what I worried about. I couldn’t sleep when I got home, I’d been way too excited after the evening, so I’d spent time online getting some ideas for interior design for his barn apartment. I think I had a really good concept, but I wanted to run it past him first. Then if he was okay, we could go and get started on the shopping.

  “What have you got there?” I was flicking through the folder that I’d thrown together with print outs and ideas.

  “Xander asked me to help him with a little decorating. So I threw a few ideas together last night, and finished them off this morning,” I explained and quickly flicked through the folder for Sophia to see. She was used to me doing things like this. I had all sorts of design concepts that I’d built for various rooms and settings. Nearly every single one remained unimplemented. The only three that had been done were our bedrooms. Oh well, everyone was entitled to a hobby or a dream. Maybe one day I’d have a house of my own to decorate.

  “Well, Sensei going home wares shopping. Now that’s something I didn’t see coming. I’d start texting that around amongst the Onigashima crew, but I can only imagine what my life would be like at my next class if Sensei found out. He has an uncanny knack for finding out things.”

  “There’s absolutely nothing wrong with living and enjoying spaces that are aesthetically pleasing,” I argued.

  “Except for the fact that shopping for home decorating stuff is a girly thing to do.”

  “It’s not. There are lots of male designers. Just because you like things to look good, it doesn’t make you a sissy.” I was so busy arguing with Sophia I didn’t notice Xander and Tori standing in the doorway until Sophia looked up. My heart leapt into my mouth and I suddenly felt all giddy. What did I do now?

  “What do you think about it, Sensei?” Sophia took the opportunity to drag Xander into the conversation.

  “Well to start off with Sophia, I have no idea what you’re talking about. But good morning.” Then he moved over to me and leant in and kissed me briefly on the cheek right there in front of both of my sisters. I could have frozen on the spot. I was actually wondering if I had. “Morning, Gem.” His voice was barely more than a whisper beside my ear as he turned his attention back to Sophia’s comments.

  “We were just talking about shopping for home stuff. I’m saying it’s a sissy, girly thing to do. Eden’s trying to tell me it isn’t.”

  Xander looked between us as if trying to gauge exactly what side of the argument he should take.

  “Why does it matter?”

  Both Sophia and I paused for a second.

  “It doesn’t. Sophia just hates to lose an argument,” I clarified and Tori giggled and nodded her head in agreement.

  “Oh, stop it. I’m not that bad. And say what you want now. But once you’ve done a day of home wares shopping, you’ll be agreeing with me. I guarantee it.”

  Xander shrugged his right shoulder in a non-committal way. “I’ll take my chances.” I saw a little smile pull the corner of his mouth up and I got the feeling that he was amused by our carry on. He turned to me and took my hand like it was the most natural thing in the world to do. “Why don’t we make a start on it? Then I’ll be able to provide honest feedback, but something tells me if I’m with your sister, it’s not going to be too much of a trial.” There was a twinkle in the dark pools of his eyes as we headed to the door and I probably enjoyed the gapping open mouth look on Sophia’s face just a little too much.

  Chapter 12

  Eden

  “Did you get those measurements I needed?” I asked as we headed into the first large furniture store. We’d discussed my ideas on the way here and when we pulled up out front, I showed Xander some ideas I had put together in my file. He’d seemed genuinely impressed and happy with what I was suggesting so, rather than second-guess it, I was going to run with it.

  Last night after Xander dropped me off I sent him a text asking him to get the exact measurements of the space so I knew just how much room there really was and how I could put it together.

  “Sure did.” He pulled his phone out and showed me what he’d taken down as we got just inside the door. It was hard to focus on what he was showing me because rather than just passing me the phone, he’d opted to pull me into him with an arm around my waist and his head looking over my right shoulder.

  “So this is the length of…” Xander kissed my ear a little, the scar not seeming to bother him and I totally forgot what I was saying. All I managed was a little giggle and a bit of a shudder.

  “Mmm, you smell really good, Gem. Lucky we’re out in public or I think I’d be spending a lot of time kissing you and I did promise I was going to take it slow.” His voice was a sexy whisper and I immediately felt the hormones he’d been slowly awakening kick in. I was also wondering just how lucky it was that we were out shopping. Exploring a lot of kissing with Xander was suddenly sounding like a very enticing option and I was starting to very much wonder about taking things slowly.

  “And yes, it is the total length of the space and underneath it I broke it into the three basic sections of bedroom...” He kissed my ear again as if to emphasise that word. “…lounge area and kitchen.”

  I dragged my focus from his wicked lips and quickly scanned my eyes around the store and realised with a good deal of relief, it was fairly quiet. There were a few other couples looking at various different pieces throughout the store. But what we were here to find was a new bedframe and a dining table and chairs. The basic tubing of the one he had was exactly that—basic. A new bedframe would really add some character to the bedroom portion of the mezzanine apartment and the extent of seating when eating were the two stools at the bench. There was no shortage of scope to work with in his apartment.

  “So I’m working from the starting point that you want to keep the sectional sofa you already have—right? The chocolate brown looks good in the room; you just need some other pieces to make it feel like a room. I think that you need to have all the pieces look like they blend and enhance but not necessarily match.”

  He kissed me again, but this time on the neck. “Sounds good. I like that sofa. But explain to me why we don’t match stuff.” I pulled away and started heading over to where the bed display was. He let me go but snagged my right hand before I had a chance to take more than a step. His fingers were warm and reassuring as they tangled with mine. The store not having many people in it, certainly helped me feel a little less anxious, and just having him there beside me made everything a whole lot better.

  I tried to focus on the task at hand rather than the distraction he seemed to be creating for my body. “The reason you don’t match everything is because it’s predictable an
d says “I walked into XYZ Furniture Store and bought the whole suite because I lacked the imagination to put anything else together.””

  Xander chuckled a little. “Well, that describes exactly what I would do.” Xander didn’t seem to be embarrassed about it at all.

  “That’s not to say that matching pieces wouldn’t look nice but, it doesn’t show any personality or creativity. It screams someone else had great taste and built a whole heap of really nice furniture. So what we do is look for pieces that complement each other and help to jointly tell a story for your room.” I was talking to him over my shoulder as I was walking through the massive store space.

  Xander was looking at me intensely. “I just didn’t realise there was so much to this whole decorating thing. I knew I had no clues but seriously, now I’m glad I decided to let you guide this process. Because if I thought I didn’t know anything about home decorating before, then now I’m absolutely certain I know less than zero.”

  We moved into the edge of the bedroom furniture display area. “Okay, to start off with let’s just have a wander around and look at all the displays.” The area was broken into themed areas, showcasing not only the furniture but also linen and other soft furnishings. “If you see something you’re drawn to, or you like, let me know. Let’s try to get an idea for what you actually like without me influencing the process.”

  For the first time ever, he looked a little hesitant. “Go on,” I encouraged him and motioned with my hand for him to lead the way down the walkway between the little cubicle type areas that had been delineated to represent rooms. He walked past the first room which featured a black lacquered bed frame with matching side tables and a tall boy dresser. He barely even looked at it, which was a huge relief because it was a gaudy looking setting in my opinion, but I thought the black may have appealed to him.

  We walked past a few more that showed more promise but didn’t seem to appeal to him either. Then he stopped about six displays in.

  “I like that.” He motioned with his head and pulled me into his side once again, keeping my scarred side closest to his body. Another couple moved past us and I kept my face averted into his chest rather than look towards them.

  The bed frame he’d indicated was a stunning piece. It was quite a unique mixture of sleek modern styling but achieved with materials that made the bedframe look like it had aged character. The headboard was quite tall; a solid timber rail ran across the top. It was circular in shape and made from a darker hardwood timber—Jarra, I suspected. Supporting the rail was a very symmetrical steel frame of brushed chrome pipe that had an almost industrial feel to it. The tubing ran across the frame in two distinct panels. The footboard end was a reduced size replica and the timber rail sat at the same height as the mattress.

  “It’s stunning and a really beautiful piece. It says so many things all at once, but looks so unique and classy.” I was trying to describe how I felt about the piece. Instead, I moved forward and touched it. The timber just seemed to be calling out to me to run my hand over. Just as I expected, the timber was warm and smooth to touch. The finish was satiny against my skin and it seemed to encourage me to draw my palm back and forth over it. “It’s been really beautifully finished. Touch it.”

  That was all the encouragement Xander needed and suddenly he was running his hand over the rail along with me.

  “It does feel good.”

  “I don’t like the bed linen they’ve put on it for your apartment though.” It was a quilt of purples and blacks—quite striking, but totally the wrong tone for his barn apartment. I bent down and flipped up the floor length valance and noticed the bed frame was designed to either work with a mattress or to connect to an ensemble.

  “Do you need a new mattress or ensemble?” I knew without looking at the price tag the bedframe was not going to be cheap; add in the cost of a new mattress or ensemble and it was going to quickly be a very expensive exercise. One thing I hated was waste or spending money when there was no need. I’d grown up respecting the value of every dollar. My parents were battlers and had made every dollar stretch.

  “The bed I have is only about twelve months old. I bought it when I moved in and I happen to love it. It’s great to sleep on.” Well, that answered my question and was plenty good enough for me. Xander moved over to the top of the bed and turned the swing tag to read the price. His expression gave nothing away, and although I didn’t see the exact amount, I noticed there were four figures and I felt a moment of anxiousness. I didn’t want him spending a whole heap of money because he had some misplaced idea of giving me some sort of project.

  We needed to move on. I didn’t want him to feel he was pressured to buy this piece. Suddenly the whole decorating thing seemed like a really bad idea.

  “Okay then. Your current bed stays. We just need a bed head or frame, but we don’t have to get it today. This is more about getting ideas.” I tried to make the whole day sound less like a big shopping trip and more like a fact finding mission. I didn’t want him to feel obligated to buy anything. “Let’s have a look at a few more. There’s always the option of attaching a headboard to the wall in a fabric or something. That can look amazing with the right choice of fabric and it can be very cost effective.”

  I moved down the walkway further and paused in front of an ensemble bed with a padded fabric bedhead. “That’s what I was talking about. Well, not that exactly but you get the idea. We’d just find a fabric or even a leather that would look good.”

  “I don’t like that so much. I like the bedframe back there. It feels right for some reason.” And I knew exactly what he meant. It was definitely a piece that made an impression and called to you. He moved me back that way, to stand in front of the display once again.

  “Would I be committing a decorating sin to get the bedside tables that are beside it?” The tables that had been matched to the frame were gorgeous. They were made from the same timber as the top rails. The drawers and the sizing were done to match the same shapes of the metal rails.

  “Not at all. The timber in the bedframe is used as an accent whereas the timber is the feature in the bedside tables. This is one place where it’s fine to use matching pieces. The designer has already created the story by just using the rail as an accent. That’s the bit that ties it all together.” I then stopped because I realised I’d been prattling on about design rubbish and felt embarrassed. Why would he even care? “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to bore you to tears with a design lecture. I just tend to get carried away with this sort of stuff. It’s hardly like I’m an expert. I just enjoy looking at this sort of stuff and designing rooms in my head.”

  Xander took my hand again and squeezed it. “Don’t be sorry. I was enjoying listening to you chat about it all. I can tell how much you’re into this by your voice and how passionate you are about it.” He caught my eyes with his. “It’s a good thing, Gem, to be passionate about something.” Then he took me totally by surprise and leant in and brushed his lips across mine.

  The kiss was warm and friendly but I could tell there was a lot more to it than what was on the surface. I could feel the restrained power, the need and desire. It was a wakeup call to the things I’d been missing and a promise of the things to come. Just as quick as his lips met mine, they were gone and he was pressing another light kiss to my forehead. “I couldn’t resist, Eden. I’ve behaved myself all morning so far, but I had to have a little taste.” I don’t know whether he meant it or whether he did it subconsciously, but either way, when the tip of his tongue flicked out and swept along those gloriously full lips of his, I suddenly wished we weren’t here in a public place.

  “I’ve got a good idea I know what you’re thinking, Gem, and I promise you it’s going to be every bit as good.”

  I could feel my cheeks heating and my neck felt down right hot. Was the air-conditioning working properly in here? I suddenly started to wonder. I didn’t get to think on it much more because a sales assistant finally appeared and on instinct I dr
opped my face and turned towards Xander to shield me.

  “Hey folks, how can I help you today?”

  “We’d like to buy this bedframe and those bedside tables.” And just like that the decision was made and Xander was buying a new bed, even if he’d politely used the term ‘we’ to include me. It suddenly felt really good to be part of a ‘we’ even if it was just for the benefit of the sales assistant.

  * * *

  Xander

  Today had been surprisingly good fun. Shopping really wasn’t my thing, but hanging out with Eden had made the whole experience much more enjoyable. I now had a new bedframe, dining suite, coffee table and a couple of other pieces I needed arriving in a few days’ time. We’d also gone from store to store looking for the “perfect” bed linen. Eden found it after about the seventh store.

  She’d also blushed a beautiful shade of pink when I whispered in her ear how I was imagining her lying in it. When I said I wasn’t going to pressure her, I meant it, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t going to do my best to warm her up to the idea. Eden had been living in a bubble for far too long in all aspects of her life. Although we hadn’t talked about it, I didn’t need to be Einstein to know she hadn’t had any contact with a man since before the fire. I was going to have to broach that with her sometime soon in a non-threatening way.

  It was just one of the many things on my mind today. That discussion with Reed was playing heavily on my mind. I was worried about Dane stepping into the pro-ring. It was one thing to fight in club tournaments and interclub stuff. It was a whole other level of competition and commitment to step into the professional ranks. Killer instinct is what it took. I hated that term because that was exactly what I was. I was also torn about what I was going to do. My own personal integrity was weighing on my mind as well. How could I keep preaching to the students I taught and more specifically to Eden if I couldn’t live by the code myself. I was supposed to be a role model, an example for the students I taught and the fighters I trained. That was a responsibility I took very seriously. It was something Reed’s father and my own had drummed into me since I was small.