Switching Gears

by Chantele Sedgwick

  “You doing okay, Em?” He stands a few feet away, concern etching his face.

  “I’m fine.” I lean over the edge of the trail and rinse out my mouth with some water, spitting it into the bushes below. I wasn’t planning on throwing up today, but … yeah. That happened.

  And when I throw up, it’s not some dainty sound. I’m pretty sure the entire valley below us heard it. I wouldn’t be surprised if someone thought a murder was happening up here. And I really wish I was exaggerating. I’m not.

  I stand up straight on shaky legs and roll my shoulders. I try not to look at Cole, since I’m humiliated as it is, so I stand there, hands on my hips, and stare into the trees, hoping he’ll forget about what he’s seen and leave me be. The smell of pine fills my senses, and I take deep breaths to calm my sick stomach.

  “Hey.” Cole’s hand touches my back and he slides his arm around me. “I’m sorry. I pushed you too hard.”

  I shake my head and surprise myself when I lean back against him. “No. You didn’t. I’m not used to pushing myself so hard.” A wave of dizziness passes over me, and I grab onto him for support.

  His arms tighten around my waist and his breath tickles my ear. “Oh, no you don’t. Don’t go passing out on me. If you need to, sit down and put your head between your legs.”

  I steady myself a little. “I’m okay. Just … exhausted.”

  He grabs my arm with his other hand and pulls me against him. I can’t help it. I wrap my arms around his waist and lay my head against his chest, listening to his heart beat wildly in my ear. I should pull away because the last thing I want to be doing is hugging someone at the bottom of our biking trail after I’ve thrown up in the bushes. But I’m too tired to protest.

  “You okay now?” He rests his chin on my head and I nod.

  And then I realize how disgusting I am. Sweaty and pukey? Not a good combination. I pull back at little, so I can look at him. His eyes are greenish today, the brown flecks lighter in the sunlight. I force myself back into reality and nod. “I think so. I shouldn’t have eaten pasta for lunch.”

  “You ate pasta? No wonder you’re sick.”

  I shrug. “I wasn’t planning on training today.”

  He takes a step back but keeps his hands on my arms. “Next time, I’ll call you before we go. Then you’ll know not to eat a big meal. I’m sorry.” He slides his hands up and down my arms and raises one to push a loose strand of hair out of my eyes. “Your head looks better.” He runs a finger just beneath my stupid cut, and my breath catches. His lips are totally calling my name, but then I remember I threw up. Not very romantic. Or hygienic, if we want to get technical.

  “Okay.” I pull away from him, not wanting him to smell my gross breath and really wishing I had a mint or something. My stomach is still a little uneasy as I put my stuff in his truck, but I’m feeling a lot better now. Besides wanting to curl into a ball and sleep for days. “The good news after all this … mess …” I gesture toward my bike and the spot where I threw up and look back at him. “My wheels are amazing.”

  “Just what I wanted to hear.” He studies me a second and gives me a smile before putting his gear away. I take off my gloves and stick them in my helmet. As I go to lift my bike in his truck, he grabs it instead. “I’ll do it. You get in and relax.”

  He doesn’t have to tell me twice. “Okay.” I climb in his truck, and he gets in a few minutes later. He shoots me a smile, and I give him a shaky one back. I lean my head against the seat and close my eyes, loving the air conditioner blowing right in my face. I really hope I don’t smell.

  “You did awesome out there.”

  “Not really. Did you not just see what happened?”

  “You’re not supposed to push yourself to the point of throwing up, but that being said, you really did amazing. My only suggestion is this: don’t be afraid to take more risks on your downhill. You’re pretty fast, but I saw you hesitate a few times. Don’t think about it. Just get in position and keep moving. If you think about it too much, you’ll lose time. Or … crash.”

  “I know. Sometimes I see those huge rocks on the trail and freak out a little.”

  He grabs my hand. “I used to, too.” He moves his eyes back on the road and keeps my hand in his.

  I don’t object.

  When we pull into my driveway, my legs feel like Jell-O as I jump down from the truck. I almost fall on my face, but grab the door to steady myself.

  Cole comes around and pulls my bike out of his truck before folding his arms and leaning against it. His hazel eyes search mine and I have to wonder what he’s thinking. “How about a truth?”

  “Right now?” All I want to do is get in a hot shower and into my pajamas. Maybe have someone massage my shoulders. And my feet.

  “Yep.”

  I find myself glancing around. I’m not really sure why. It’s not like anyone’s even by us. “Okay. I … uh … hmmm …” I wrack my brain for something. Anything that would be interesting about me. “I used to clog.”

  He raises an eyebrow, and the corner of his mouth raises up, too. “As in, dancing?”

  I blush. “Yes. As in dancing.”

  “What made you quit?”

  “I fell in love with biking.”

  “You clogged until high school?”

  I try not to laugh at his shocked expression. “Maybe.”

  He looks like he’s trying not to laugh. “So could you go all ‘Lord of the Dance’ right here and now?”

  “I do have some pretty awesome moves.” I do a little jig, sending both of us into a fit of laughter.

  “So if you were as awesome of a dancer as you say you were, how did you get into mountain biking?”

  I chuckle. “It’s kind of embarrassing.”

  “Oh, I’d love to hear this then.”

  “I was fifteen and this seventeen-year-old asked me out. I thought I was so cool going out with someone who could drive.” He gives me a goofy grin, but I keep talking. “Anyway, he decided to take me mountain biking. He thought he was pretty awesome wearing a bunch of gear and stuff. I just had a helmet and my old ten-speed. And I wore jeans. Nice, right?”

  “Hilarious.”

  “It was. So, he took me to this easy trail in Kaysville and after explaining all the rules to me and talking himself up, I ended up totally smoking him.”

  “No way!”

  I laugh. “I was a little nervous when I first started following him down the trail, because I’d never been before. But then as I made myself pedal faster and flew down the hills, it just clicked and I fell in love. Unfortunately, it wasn’t with my date.”

  “That’s the most awesome story ever. That poor kid.”

  “Yeah. We didn’t go out again. I started training myself and saved every penny for a new bike and now, two years later, here I am.” I smile, thinking of that first dumb date that turned out to be one of the best days ever. “So, what’s a truth from you?”

  “A truth from me, huh?” He pushes off the truck and takes a few steps toward me, his eyes not leaving mine. “I’d like to take you out again.”

  “That’s not a truth. That’s a fact.”

  “Same thing.”

  It’s hard, but I make myself look away from his gaze. “When were you thinking?”

  “I don’t know. How about tonight? If you’re feeling up to it after wearing yourself out.”

  “Sure.” I tuck my hair behind my ear. “I’d … uh … better go get ready.”

  “Great. I’ll pick you up around six.”

  I stop walking my bike to the garage and turn back. “Oh, what are we doing? So I can dress for the occasion.”

  He gives me a sly grin. “You’ll see.”

  Not helpful at all.

  CHAPTER 26

  Mom’s waiting for me when I walk inside. She smiles and sets her book down.

  “Hey, Emmy.”

  “Hi.” I go to walk past her, but she grabs my hand and pulls me to a stop.

  “Could you
come sit with me for a minute?”

  My heart speeds up. “Sure.” I wonder what she’s up to. I sit down on the couch, a few inches away.

  She searches my face for a moment and smiles. “I haven’t talked to you—really talked to you—since we told you what was going on with me. I’ve tried several times. We both know this.”

  “I know.”

  “So, the question is: are you doing okay?”

  I shrug. “I’m fine.”

  “Really? Because it seems to me that you’re still avoiding me. And not just me. Everyone. You’re not home much anymore, and when you are, you’re locked in your room.”

  “I’m busy.”

  “With biking. Right.”

  “Why’d you say it like that?”

  She sighs. “Honey, I know you’re into biking. I know you love it. But could you at least remember there are people in your family who miss you? I miss you. You won’t talk to me. You barely look at me anymore.”

  I bite my lip.

  “I know losing Lucas has been hard. And my diagnosis doesn’t help things at all. But right now, I’m okay. Sometimes I have memory lapses, but most of the time I’m fine.” She grabs my hand. “I don’t want you to push me away, Em. Please. I’m still here. Please stay with me. Don’t shut me out.”

  “I’m not.” I really don’t want to.

  “Honey …”

  I pull away from her. “I’m fine, Mom. Stop worrying about me.” And with that, I go downstairs and lock myself in my room.

  Kelsie comes over an hour later, complete with one of her mood lifters.

  She pours a bag onto my bedspread. “Nail polish? Check. Chocolate? Check. Chick flick? Check.”

  “Thanks, Kels.”

  “So, your mom, right? That’s what your emergency text was about?”

  I nod. “She wanted to talk to me today. I’m not sure what she wants from me. I’m not ignoring her. I’m keeping myself busy so I don’t have to think about her … disease.”

  “It’s okay to take some time to think, Em. But don’t shut her out forever.”

  “That’s what my mom said.” I sigh.

  She gives me a nervous smile. “Why don’t we start our mini girls’ night before Cole gets here? Take our minds off … everything.”

  “What do you want to start with?”

  “Nails. What are you wearing tonight?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “You look good in blue.” She goes in my closet and throws different shirts out. “Try all these on and we’ll pick the best one.”

  “Why can’t I just wear …” I pull a shirt out from the pile. “This.”

  Kelsie folds her arms and frowns. “Um … no.”

  “Kels, come on. Just pick something.”

  “Fine. This one’s cute.” She holds up a blue T-shirt with ruffles. I’ll admit it’s pretty cute.

  “That’s perfect.” I take it from her.

  She smiles, like she knows she’s awesome. “Put it on and let me see what it looks like. Also, where are those jeans I always borrow?”

  “Probably at your house.”

  She thinks about it and finally nods. “Yes. Let’s go get them. We can get ready at my house, and I’ll bring you back here before Cole gets here.”

  “Kelsie, is this really necessary? I can just throw something on and—”

  “Of course it’s necessary!”

  I sit back on the bed, defeated.

  CHAPTER 27

  Cole shows up at my house right on time for our date, of course. And he looks … amazing. Jeans, green button-up shirt that brings out his eyes. Hot.

  “Uh … hi.”

  “Hey.” He smiles as he gets a good look at me. “You ready to go?”

  “Yes.”

  He holds out his arm and leads me to his truck, being a total gentleman, like always.

  I raise an eyebrow as I buckle my seatbelt. “Where exactly are we going?”

  Cole glances at me out of the corner of his eye. “You’ll see. Why don’t you relax and enjoy my awesome music.”

  Rock music blasts through the truck and I pretend to cover my ears. “Oh, come on. Country is way better.”

  He puts the truck in drive and glances over at me. “Don’t swear in my truck, please.”

  “What are you talking about? I didn’t swear.”

  “Country music is equivalent to a swear word in here.”

  “Seriously?”

  “Do I look like I’m joking?” He’s so serious, but there’s a playfulness in his eyes. He cracks a smile, making me laugh. “I’m still serious about country music, though. Not a fan. Ever.”

  “Well, you’ll have to get used to it when you ride with me.” I push a button on the radio and scroll until I find my favorite station. I sneak a glance at him to see if he’s mad, but he sighs and mutters something under his breath. “You’re not gonna change it?”

  “You’re the only one I’d listen to this nonsense for.”

  I take that as a compliment. “It’s not nonsense. It’s romantic and fun.”

  “Half the songs are about someone breaking someone’s heart. Or leaving their lover and taking their dog with them.”

  “No they aren’t!” I argue, though I know he has a point.

  He chuckles again and we ease into conversation as he drives to wherever our destination is.

  It takes me a while, but once Cole starts driving up a dirt road, I realize where we’re going.

  “Cole …” I say as he turns into a dirt parking lot and backs the truck up.

  He takes my hand after he parks and meets my eyes. “I thought we could have a nice dinner up here.”

  “Wow. Bonus points for you, my friend.” I smile as I look out onto the valley below. The sun sets in the distance, and I pull out my phone to take a picture. “You’re awesome.”

  “Surprise isn’t over.” He smiles, opens his door, and jumps down in the dirt. “Hold on a sec. Oh, and don’t look in the back no matter what you hear.”

  He’s gone for a little bit, and I know he’s doing something in the bed of the truck since the truck keeps moving. Before I know it, he’s back. He opens my door and smiles. “My lady.”

  I roll my eyes as he grabs my hand and helps me out of the truck. He walks me back to the tailgate and my mouth falls open. There are pillows and blankets in the back, and as he reappears, binoculars and a bag of treats.

  “The sun is almost set and the stars are amazing up here.” He climbs in next to me. “Want to eat now or later?”

  “Whenever.” He jumps in next to me and hands me a bag. A very familiar bag.

  “In-N-Out?”

  “Of course.”

  “I could kiss you right now.” As soon as the words leave my mouth, my eyes grow wide and I freeze. “Uh … I mean …”

  Cole glances at my lips, but other than that isn’t even phased. “Here’s a bottle of water for you. It might be a little warm by now, but it should be okay.”

  I sneak a look at him as he holds out the water bottle. “Thanks.”

  He’s still watching me, maybe wondering if my little comment was serious or not. Was it? I’m not sure. Maybe. Okay, yes. I really do want to kiss him.

  I dig into my burger. “How did I not smell this?”

  “I put it in a cooler so you wouldn’t.”

  “Nicely done.”

  He pops a fry in his mouth. “I know.”

  I’ve never really been up here while the sun is setting. It’s beautiful. Yellows, oranges, and beautiful shades of red kiss the horizon. I close my eyes for a second, imagining the feel of the wind rushing across my face as I ride my bike down the mountain.

  “Wish you were riding right now?”

  I open my eyes to find him staring at me. “Always.”

  “Me too.”

  I look back at the sun disappearing. “Knowing me, though, I’d run into a tree this late. My eyes aren’t the best at night.”

  “Really?”

 
“When I don’t have my contacts in, I wouldn’t be able to tell who’s sitting next to me right now.”

  “That bad?”

  I nod. “They’re worse at night, even with my contacts in. Especially when I drive. I think I’m a little night-blind.”

  “Note to self: don’t let Emmy drive me around at night.”

  I chuckle. “Seriously. I scare myself.”

  We sit in comfortable silence, each finishing our food. “You know, I almost got bit by a rattlesnake up here once.”

  “Really?”

  “Yep. It was right on the edge of the trail. I stopped my bike a few feet away and it started rattling and coiled. I didn’t have a choice but to turn around and go back down the trail. It would have bit me if I tried to pass it.”

  “Holy cow. That’s crazy.” I search my memory for interesting things that have happened while biking. “A hornet hit my sunglasses once and fell down my shirt while I was riding.” I blush as his lips twitch. “It stung me three times before I got it out. It felt like I was on fire.”

  “You’re not allergic, are you?”

  “No.”

  He shivers. “That would have put me in the hospital.”

  “You’re allergic?”

  He nods and collects our trash to put back in his cooler. “Since I was a kid. I stepped on a bee when I was five and swelled up like a balloon.”

  “Oh. That’s … scary.” It’s hard to imagine someone being so allergic to something as tiny as a bee.

  “Haven’t been stung since, but they make me nervous. I have to carry an epinephrine shot with me all the time.”

  “Yuck. What else don’t I know about you?”

  He climbs back onto the truck and scoots back to rest against the cab. I follow. “Hmm … let’s see. I have three sisters and one brother.”

  “Older or younger? I know about your one sister you told me about. Older, yes?”

  “Yes. And so are the rest.”

  “Oh. So you’re the baby?”

  “Yep.”

  “Huh.”

  He raises an eyebrow. “Why do you say it like that?”

  I nudge his shoulder with my own. “Some things make more sense now.”

  “I have a feeling you’re making fun of me.”

  I laugh. “No, not at all. I’m the youngest, too, so we’re twins.”