Pastures of Faith

by Sarah Price

  “I reckon,” he finally admitted. He watched her smile, laughing at something one of the girls said. Her face lit up in a way he had never seen before. “But she’s ornery as all get out. You should hear her and Samuel go at it. Have to keep them apart, that’s for sure and certain.”

  “Might just ask her to ride home with me,” Jacob said, lifting his shoulders and standing straighter. "I like ornery."

  His friend’s interest in Rachel surprised Daniel. But he was not about to warn him away from the girl. After all, if she said yes to Jacob Zook, then Daniel would be able to ride home in peace and quiet without any suspicion that he had a romantic interest in her. And, even more important, he wouldn’t get himself into a bind like he had on the way over to the singing.

  "By all means, Jacob. I sure would like to see how you fare," Daniel laughed. The challenge was set and he was pleased to see his friend disappear from their circle just a few moments later.

  Daniel spent the rest of the singing standing alongside his friends. He loved to listen to the different songs being sung, the deep voices of the men contrasting sharply with the soprano voices of the young women. Sometimes, he would shut his eyes to listen to the music. It touched his soul and he felt the hand of God on his heart. His faith grew even more when he realized that Rachel was nowhere to be seen and his friend Amos whispered that Jacob had, indeed, offered here a ride home and to everyone's surprise, she had smiled and nodded shyly.

  Amos nudged Daniel and gestured with a nod of his head toward the corner. "Best be asking Millie to ride home with ya," he teased.

  Daniel frowned. "No need to do so. Her brother can take her home."

  "Ach, Daniel. You know she fancies you."

  "Mayhaps," Daniel said. He had made the mistake of giving Millie several rides home from singings last year when her own brother was occupied courting Sarah Fischer. Daniel had offered Millie, one of Sylvia's friends, a ride home so that her brother could be alone with his girl. Now, Millie was at the age to take her baptism and often made eyes at Daniel.

  But Daniel wasn't looking to take his baptism yet. He knew that joining the church typically preceded marriage and he had no interest in that. Not now...perhaps not ever. He just wanted to farm and didn’t want to leave his father without help, especially since Samuel didn’t seem to take a shine to farming but wanted to follow in Junior’s footsteps of carpentry. "But a fancy needs to work both ways, ain’t so? And, in this case, it just plain don't."

  Amos laughed, slapping Daniel good-naturedly on the back. "Reckon you'll be the oldest bachelor in Lancaster County then! You never fancy any girl, ain’t so?"

  Daniel frowned and waved his hand at his friend, dismissing his teasing. "Go find your own girl to court, Amos. I'm just fine on my own."

  Two hours later, Daniel was sitting on the front porch, enjoying the night air. He had left shortly after his discussion with his friends, especially when Jacob had disappeared and it was apparent that Rachel had gone with him. With no further reason to hang around, Daniel had waited for an opportune moment to slip away.

  Back at home, he had been too awake to go to sleep. With the warm spring night air that marked the beginning of summer humidity, it was cooler outside than inside, especially upstairs in his small bedroom. He liked to sit by himself, staring up at the sky and watching for shooting stars. He was always amazed by the vastness of the night sky, a reminder of God’s power.

  So, he had gotten himself a glass of milk and sat on the porch, listening to the cicadas and looking at the stars. He loved to stare into the night sky, thinking about the magnificence of the Lord and His ability to create such a massive, brilliant, and complex existence. He liked to think about the sky and the stars and the moon and the sun. Yet, in doing so, he simply couldn’t comprehend the enormity of it all and often felt smaller and less significant because of it. On those nights, he appreciated his faith in more ways than he could imagine possible.

  But, on this night, as he stared into the sky, he found that he was perplexed by something. He wasn’t certain what. However, he could sense the gnawing feeling in his belly that told him something was just not quite right.

  It was about this time that he heard it. The familiar sound of horse hooves against the roadway and the gentle humming of buggy wheels. Daniel sat up straight and leaned forward, searching in the darkness to catch sight of the buggy. If it was on the road, it would pass right by. Yet, this one sounded much closer and was getting louder.

  Indeed, the rattle of the buggy wheels broke his train of thought, especially when he realized that it was pulling down his father’s lane. Standing up, he leaned against the side of the house as he watched and waited. The singing had ended over two hours ago. Was that Jacob Zook bringing Rachel home? Why had it taken him so long? Where could they possibly have been for the past two hours?

  His friend emerged from the buggy and disappeared around the other side. Daniel imagined that he was helping Rachel down from the open top buggy, although Daniel doubted she truly needed the help. He could hear their low voices and then a soft laugh escaping from Rachel. It was a pretty noise, light and carefree. It was also something Daniel had not heard too often. A frown crossed his face as he thought he heard Jacob thank her for accepting his ride and hinting that he’d see her at the next church Sunday. Was it possible, he wondered, that Jacob actually fancied Rachel?

  As he listened to the horse's hooves as they clapped against the driveway, Daniel found himself puzzling over what Jacob could possibly have seen in Rachel that he had certainly missed. Even more disturbing was the fact that he realized that, deep down, he might actually care to know what it was.

  Chapter Six

  It was Friday evening when his mother announced at dinner that they’d be going to Jake and Sylvia’s on Sunday afternoon. Since the Amish only attend church every other Sunday, they often put the non-church Sunday to good use by visiting friends and family. “Looks like Sylvia wants to picnic outside. With our winter having been so long and spring so wet, I’m looking forward to an afternoon outside. After all, good weather is to be enjoyed,” Katie said. The table was set with steaming plates of chicken and potatoes and cooked carrots.

  Jonas looked up. “Sure she’s up to it, with the baby so young?”

  Katie raised an eyebrow. “You know that daughter of ours, Jonas. Nothing seems to hold her back. And she wants everyone to come spend time with her. Wants the family around her.” Katie reached for a bowl of potatoes in front of her husband, dishing several spoonfuls on her own plate before passing it to him. “She’s keeping it small, just inviting us, is all.”

  “Ja, gut,” Jonas grunted. “Small is gut with a wee one.”

  Daniel took the potatoes from his father. He was hungry after working so hard all morning. Dinner was his favorite meal of the day, devouring as much as he could before they continued working during the afternoon hours. “Be gut to see what Jake is up to this season,” he said.

  Jonas laughed. “Knowing that Jake, he’s got something planted in each field with the hopes of plentiful harvests.”

  A shadow crossed over Katie’s face. Despite the good-natured feelings that Jonas and Daniel held for her youngest daughter’s husband, Katie had never quite warmed up to him. “Ach vell, as long as Sylvia is left alone to tend to her baby, he can plant and dream all he wants to,” she said, her words stiff and clipped.

  “Now, Katie,” Jonas said, his tone gentle but stern. “He’s a good man and a very good husband to our daughter. And since he’s soon to be committed to the church and community, it’s high time you get used to the idea that he’s family now.”

  The rest of the meal passed in silence, each member focused on their own thoughts as they ate the food that Katie had prepared.

  By Sunday, the temperature was close to 80 degrees and the sun shone bright in the sky. It was the perfect June weekend. Daniel was secretly glad that it was to be spent outdoors, rather than inside someone’s stuffy barn for church worship. P
lus, he thought, it was always interesting to be around Sylvia’s husband, Jake. He was quick with his stories and loved to laugh at his own learning curve with becoming a new farmer, husband, father, and Amish man.

  Daniel walked with his parents down the road toward Sylvia and Jake’s farm. While they only lived a mile as the crow flies, it was a nice two mile walk if one took the paved roads. With new fields having been planted, the roads were the only option for traveling today.

  They were halfway there when Katie stopped walking. She took a deep breath and raised a hand to her forehead. “Oh my,” she mumbled to herself.

  “What is it, Katie?” Jonas asked.

  She shook her head. “I forgot to bring that second basket with the pies and jar of beets.” She held up the one basket. “I had it set out with this one but moved it onto the table. Must’ve forgotten it since they weren’t set next to each other.” There was an apologetic look on her face as she glanced from her husband to her son.

  Daniel didn’t even hesitate before he volunteered, “I’ll run back for it, Mamm. No use you backtracking. I’ll be along in a jiffy,” he said and, without waiting for a response, he started jogging back toward the farm.

  The farm was quiet with no activity outside besides the animals grazing in the pastures. Daniel slowed down when he approached the driveway and walked the rest of the way. He loved watching the cows grazing in the fields, their heads down low to the ground, their tails switching the wayward flies that bothered them. Several of the larger cows had chains around their necks. Those cows would give birth to calves soon, calves that would be most likely sold for veal.

  Junior stood outside by the buggy, holding the horse’s head while he waited for his family to climb inside and get settled down for the short ride to Jake and Sylvia’s farm. He glanced up when he saw Daniel strolling down the lane. “The meal over so soon?” he teased.

  Daniel smiled back, waving his hand in dismissal of his brother’s jest. “Nah, just Mamm forgot something.”

  “Ach gut!” Junior said in reply. At the same moment, the door opened and Lillian came out, carrying the baby and followed by the other children. At the rear of the group, Rachel ventured forth. “You can walk with Rachel, then. I wasn’t certain how to fit everyone in the buggy.”

  For a moment, Daniel looked up, catching his breath. To walk with Rachel meant at least thirty minutes of uncomfortable silence or, even worse, uncomfortable discussion. But Daniel knew it would be unkind to argue with his brother.

  “Ja, sure,” he mumbled as he hurried into the house to retrieve his mother’s basket of food. At least he could put that in the buggy, rather than carrying it.

  When he returned to the driveway, Lillian and the children were already in the buggy and Junior was getting ready to drive out toward the road. Daniel lifted the basket and hurried over to the passenger door. Lillian opened it and reached for the basket. She smiled at her brother-in-law and whispered a quick, “Danke.”

  Daniel knew her gratitude was not for the basket but for agreeing to walk with Rachel. He felt ashamed of himself for having regretted running into them. Certainly it was hard on Lillian and her family to have Rachel around them every day. She hadn’t opened up to them yet and, from what Daniel could see, she still seemed withdrawn and sad. He couldn’t imagine having her at his dinner table every night, not if she was always so quiet and sullen. At least now Junior and Lillian would have a few minutes as a family without the presence of this strange cousin from Ohio.

  The buggy lurched forward, the wheels rattling against the driveway and the horse’s hooves clacking in the typical two-beat rhythm of a horse trotting. Daniel stood apart from Rachel, watching the orange triangle on the back of the black buggy as it disappeared down the lane and turned left onto Musser School Lane. Linda and Jacob leaned out the back, waving with big grins on their faces. Daniel smiled and raised his hand to wave back.

  When they were finally gone from sight, Daniel cleared his throat and, reluctantly, turned to look at Rachel. He shoved his hands into his pockets and made a clicking noise with his tongue against his teeth. “Best get started, ja? Will take us a good half hour to walk along the road.”

  “The road?” She tensed up and looked around nervously. “It’s hot to be walking today. Mayhaps we could walk through the field?”

  He tried to smile at her. “Aw, sure would hate to crush any crops that are growing. Besides, the walk will sure help to build up an appetite, ja? And my sister and mamm’s cooking is good enough to want to eat a lot so, it’s not too bad if you look at it that way.”

  Rachel straightened her shoulders. “In Ohio, my daed wouldn’t make me walk.”

  Daniel didn’t know how to reply to that so he didn’t. Instead, he began walking down the lane in the direction that the buggy had disappeared. For a few moments, he sensed that he was alone. He wondered, yet again, at her resistance to being outdoors. Clearly, she had some sort of issue with being outside of the confines of the home. But, after a few minutes, he was pleased to hear her run to catch up to him but she didn’t walk alongside him. Instead, she walked behind him. As much as she disliked being outdoors or walking, she apparently disliked being alone even more.

  Perhaps it was the gentle breeze that blew along the road or it was the sound of the birds singing their late spring song but Daniel decided to make a fresh start with the young woman walking behind him. He turned around, walking backward and tried to engage her in conversation.

  “You ever been to Lancaster County before, eh?”

  Her brows knit into a frown. Clearly, his question annoyed her. “You know that I haven’t.”

  “Ach, vell,” he said sheepishly. He had just been trying to make small talk with her. “You like it here anyway?”

  With a gentle lift of her shoulders, she shrugged. “It’s older than my home in Ohio and a bit more…” Her voice trailed off as she struggled to find the right word without insulting. “Rigid.”

  For some reason, the word annoyed him. If anything, Lancaster was not rigid but a warm, loving place. In fact, he knew that his family had been open to this young woman. Perhaps if she had been there long enough to attend a church Sunday and felt the love of the fellowship afterward, he wondered. “That’s a mighty strong word, Rachel.”

  “It’s what I feel,” came her quick retort.

  “Your own daed’s family was from here. Are they rigid, too?” The words came out before he could stop them. He wondered why he felt so strongly about defending his home and people.

  “My grossdaadi left, didn’t he?”

  Daniel took a deep breath, swallowing his pride and the retort that wanted to jump forth. Instead, he turned back around, facing forward as he walked. “Ja vell, it’s home for now for both of us, I reckon.”

  “It’s not my home,” she said, her voice soft and barely audible. But he had heard her.

  Daniel breathed in the fresh air and exhaled loudly. “I’m at home here…good fresh air and blue skies.”

  “Not as fresh or blue as Ohio,” she mumbled.

  This time, he laughed. In a way, he found her negativism amusing…as well as annoying. “Now that I don’t believe! Mayhaps they are both the same, I’ll give you that. But you can’t really say one is better than the other. God made them both. They are both fresh and blue and wunderbaar gut! He sure don’t choose favorites now, does He?”

  “Are we almost there?” she asked, her voice trembling.

  Daniel turned around again, walking backward with his hands still thrust into his pockets. “You don’t like being outside much, do you now?”

  The look that she threw at him was hard and full of emotion. For a moment, he was sorry that he had asked. But it was the question that was most on his mind and now, on his tongue. She didn’t respond but looked away, her gaze following the lines of the hill beside the road. They had barely gotten to the top of the hill where they followed the road as it forked toward the left.

  When they continued along the
road, they were above the Lapp farm and she could look down the valley into the pastures of grass and cows. Beyond the house, there was the hint of green crops growing in the fields behind the house. She was certain that there were fields of corn planted as well as winter wheat. Indeed, it was a large farm, even by Ohio standards.

  “You don’t like me much, do you, Daniel?”

  Her question took him by surprise and Daniel looked at her. Her words, while soft and quiet, had seemed to cut through the air between them, sharp and direct. You don’t like me much, she had asked. Whether he did or didn’t, Daniel wasn’t entirely certain. But he did know that he didn’t like the way she approached him. She stood too straight and was too bold. “Excuse me?” he asked, his voice soft as he tried to deal with his own discomfort with the direct manner in which she spoke. “That’s a rather bizarre question.” He hesitated, uncertain how to respond. He hoped she would change the subject, but her silence made it clear that she was waiting for his answer. “Why would you think something like that, Rachel?”