Someone Like You

by Syd Parker

  Chapter 15

  Aspen pulled the last box out of her closet and stacked it on the floor next to a growing pile of items she was going to donate. She didn’t have much left at her mom’s house besides a few odds and ends, and nothing that she wanted to keep. It was mostly clothes and other items that she had accumulated throughout her school years. A couple of glances in old yearbooks convinced her that she was certainly glad she had outgrown her obsession with big hair. There were several boxes from her and Lex’s place. She had packed them hastily and hadn’t looked at them since.

  Flopping down on the bed with a sigh, Aspen pulled a box marked living room out and pulled the strip of tape off the top. Her hands stilled on the box flaps and she willed her breathing to return to a normal pace. She wasn’t sure what she would find, but knew it would be poignant reminders of her and Lex. “God, Aspen, just breathe. It’s stuff.”

  Two more deep breaths and she pulled the lid open and flinched, half-expecting something to jump out and attack her. When it didn’t, she stilled visibly. She knew this was just another step in moving forward. She knew there would be no giant leaps; instead, she was content with each baby step she took. Her mother had been surprised at first when she explained her plan to buy the ranch. When she explained her reasons, her mother had reluctantly agreed that perhaps it was the best thing for Aspen.

  Shaking her head, she pulled the packing material out of the box and set it on the bed next to her. The wooden frame caught her attention, and a quick glance told her this was the box containing pictures from the living room. She pulled the first frame out and flipped it over slowly. It was a picture of her and Lex on their wedding day. They were married at the ranch. All their family and closest friends witnessed the blissful union. Only a handful had been around to witness the end.

  Aspen’s eyes roved over the picture and the corners of her mouth curved into a sad smile. She wore a simple white gown. Lex had worn a black vest with a silk button-down and tuxedo pants. The photographer had taken most of the pictures with the hills behind them, but this picture she had captured in a moment that neither one of them were paying attention. Aspen was resting on the steps of the porch, and Lex had leaned over the railing and kissed Aspen on her temple. Aspen could only see Lex’s profile, but the smile on her own face told the story of how happy they had once been.

  She traced her finger over Lex’s jaw line and she felt a shiver run down her spine. When they were together, she had spent hours watching Lex. Her face was perfection in Aspen’s mind. Her golden skin and chiseled features always took Aspen’s breath away. Even now, she couldn’t look at Lex without an aching tug in her heart. Aspen studied the picture for several more seconds before setting it aside with a sigh of finality.

  The next few pictures were ones of her. A small bouquet complimented her dress with tasteful simplicity. Her eyes were what pulled her to each picture. Her blue eyes shone more then. She looked happier than she could remember. Now when she looked in the mirror, her sad eyes taunted her at every glance. Not much longer, Aspen thought. She knew she wanted to be happy again and for the first time in a long time, Aspen knew she would let herself be.

  She pulled the next picture out and when she flipped it over, her body froze. It was one of her drawings, one she had done before they were married. A simple sketch of Lex’s profile, her hair loose from its normal ponytail, framing her face in one of Aspen’s favorite moments. They had just made love, and Lex had collapsed against the couch; her fingers poised at her mouth, memorizing the feeling of her tingling and swollen lips. Aspen had studied her, and her stomach fluttered as she remembered the electricity she felt when Lex had innocently tasted the after-effects of what she had done to Aspen.

  In and of itself, the drawing evoked raw emotion, but combined with the memory that had come rushing back into Aspen’s head, and she was gasping for air. Warmth spread through her veins, and a welcome tingling teased at her extremities. She brushed her fingers over her lips, and she could almost feel Lex’s lips against hers. She took several deep breaths and stared at the ceiling, praying that eventually her mind and body would forget what it felt like to be touched by heaven. It was almost more than she could take.

  Aspen wasn’t sure how long she sat there waiting for the world to right itself again. She only knew that when her breathing returned to normal, she had decided this would be the centerpiece of her showing at the gallery. If any piece would evoke the emotions that she was trying to encompass, this was the one. She took another long look before she set it down beside her. She started putting the pictures back in the box, not able to endure revisiting her past anymore. She taped it securely and pushed it next to the other boxes. She eased off the bed and stretched her arms over her head with a low moan.

  “Did you get it all packed up?” Susan’s head popped around the corner. She eyed the stack of boxes and laughed. “Never knew someone that held on to everything. You’re so sentimental like your father.”

  Aspen took the cup of tea she held out and sipped it gratefully. She let her gaze fall on the stack of personal effects she had accumulated in her thirty plus years and smiled ruefully. “Considering all the stuff I’ve come across, this is a small pile in comparison. Besides, most of these are going to the shelter. It’s mostly old clothes and such.” She nudged a box with her toe. “This is the only one that is coming with me. I’ve got to get a truck and pick up the rest of my stuff from storage. Aunt Ginny is leaving most of the furniture at the ranch, so I don’t really need much.”

  Susan rested her hand on her daughter’s and forced her to look her in the eye. “Are you sure this is what you want, honey?”

  Aspen nodded, but didn’t say anything right away. After several silent moments, she exhaled softly and smiled. “Yes, this is good for me. Aside from Lex being there, this is the first time in years I actually feel hopeful. I need something to focus on. The ranch and the girls are perfect for me.”

  “Even with all the memories?”

  Her mother meant the wedding, in particular, but there were hundreds of other still shots that were nestled in the corner of her mind. Aspen knew she needed that connection to her past in order to move towards her future. “Especially with all the memories. Besides, the studio is perfect for me.” She flipped her hand over and squeezed her mom’s reassuringly. “This is good for me, Mom. Don’t worry so much.”

  “I’m trying not to.” Susan confessed. “I know you were much closer to your father, but I want you to know, I love you very much. I worry about you being so far away. What if it gets to be too much?”

  “Mom, stop.” Aspen pleaded with mock exasperation. “I’m thirty-three years old. I think I can take care of myself. And if I can’t, I’m adult enough to know when to pack it in.”

  Susan saw the determination in her daughter’s eyes and knew that the one thing she had passed along was her stubborn will, and once she dug her heels in, there was no need trying to change her mind. She put her hands on her knees and pushed herself up, her knees popping loudly. “It will feel good to get these old bones out of the cold.” She cupped her daughter’s cheek and smiled. “I know you will be fine. But if you ever need your mom, your aunt and I will have plenty of room.”

  “Thanks, Mom.” Aspen watched her mother’s retreating form, and she smiled to herself. Her mother had shown more emotion in those few seconds than she had in all the time Aspen had been alive. Stoic to a fault in matters of the heart, Susan was a rock, even when her father passed. However, today, Aspen had seen a side that touched her deeply and in that moment, she loved her mother even more.

  Aspen wasn’t sure how long she sat watching the door before a loud ring made her jump. She pulled her phone out and checked the caller ID. “Lex.”

  “Hey.”

  Lex’s voice seemed oddly flat and Aspen fought the urge to pry. It wasn’t her business anymore what Lex’s mood was and what had made her melancholy. “What’s up?”

  “I was just checking to see wha
t your schedule was. I’m leaving the apartment, and I wanted to see if I should pick up stuff for dinner.”

  “Mmm.” Aspen glanced at her watched and mentally calculated the time it would take to pack the few remaining boxes and make the trip back to the ranch. She figured on at least three hours, which would put her there at roughly the same time as Lex. “Sure. Why don’t you pick up stuff for pasta puttanesca. I feel like Italian tonight.”

  Lex smiled into the phone. She had been gone two weeks this trip and her mouth watered at the thought of Aspen’s home cooking. “Want me to grab a bottle of Ruffino Chianti?”

  Aspen chuckled out loud. The name alone made her smile. It was the bottle of cheaper wine they had indulged in at the beginning of their relationship when they could barely afford to eat. Years later, a ten dollar bottle of wine seemed so childish. For some reason, she thought it sounded perfect. Something so simple seemed to calm her more than she had been in years. “Sure, that sounds perfect.”

  “’Kay.” Lex paused then took a deep breath and pushed forward. “I can’t wait to see you.”

  “Lex.” Aspen tried to ignore the flutter in her stomach at Lex’s admission. She knew that there would always be something between them no matter how much time passed. She just didn’t need a constant reminder. “You only missed my cooking.”

  Lex took Aspen’s hint and agreed. “I have been starving the last two weeks.”

  “Then we had better get you fed.” Aspen stood up and stretched, holding the phone away from her mouth when she yawned. “I guess I will see you around six.”

  “Yeah.” Lex sighed. “Can we talk tonight?”

  “Lex, we always talk.”

  “I mean about important stuff.”

  “Oh.” Aspen had hoped to avoid any discussion about their kiss. After not mentioning it for the last few weeks, she figured Lex had accepted that she was moving on. “I’m kind of tired. I was hoping to eat and then go to bed early.”

  “I see.” Lex’s voice plummeted. She wasn’t sure what she expected Aspen to say. There were so many thoughts running through her mind, and she needed to voice them before it was too late. She wasn’t sure why she couldn’t just walk away; give Aspen the peace she asked for. Maybe because in the five months, they had been living together, she had fallen more in love with her than she was the first time, if that was possible. It was painfully apparent that Aspen wasn’t going to make this easy on her. “Then I guess I’ll see you tonight.”

  Aspen opened her mouth to object then shut it quickly. They did need to talk tonight. She hadn’t told Lex about the ranch yet and for some reason, she felt the need to share this piece of information with her. “I’m sorry. We can talk over dinner. I have something to tell you too.”

  Lex exhaled softly. She felt a small weight lifted off her shoulders. She wasn’t sure what outcome she wanted, but at least she would get to tell Aspen her news. “Alright then, I’ll see you in a couple of hours. And, A?”

  “Yes.”

  “Thank you.” Lex felt the corners of her mouth curl into a smile.

  “Sure.” Aspen grabbed the tape and pulled a strip over the top of the last box. The sound of packing tape echoed through the phone, and she heard Lex's chuckle. “Sorry, last one.”

  “It’s okay; I'm gonna stop and get gas anyway. I’ll see you later.” Lex heard Aspen’s good-bye and ended the call. She stared at the phone in her open palm as if it were Aspen’s face, a myriad of emotions storming through her mind. Tonight was her do or die moment. Tonight, she would lay her heart on the line and pray that Aspen would give her another chance.

  Chapter 16

  Aspen chopped garlic and slid it into a pan of hot olive oil, the sizzle sending an immediate aroma of pungent spiciness into the air. “How was your trip?”

  Lex sat at the island, spinning her glass between her hands and watching Aspen make dinner. “Good. Long, but good.” She licked her lips nervously. “How was everything here?”

  Aspen spun around and smiled cryptically. “Good. That’s part of what I have to tell you.” She grabbed a can opener and opened a can of diced tomatoes while she spoke. “Mom and Aunt Ginny are moving.”

  “What?” Lex’s voice rose incredulously. She sat in stunned silence, trying to process the news. “When? I mean, well, I’m not sure what I mean. I’m shocked.”

  Aspen watched Lex’s face contort comically, and she laughed. “I was too.” She turned to fill a pot with water and put it on to boil. “I had no idea they were even thinking about leaving.”

  Lex watched as Aspen added the tomatoes, capers, anchovies, Kalamata olives and a dash of oregano and crushed red pepper to the pan and gave the mixture a quick stir. “So, how did this all transpire?”

  “I wasn’t there for the conversation. I guess they decided on the cruise.” Aspen added pasta to the boiling water and added a dash of salt. She dusted her hands off on her apron. “Ginny said that she felt better on the boat than she had in years. I guess the cold is really getting to her arthritis. She and Mom decided to sell and move to Florida.”

  “But they don’t even get along.” Lex was still wide-eyed.

  “I know, right.” Aspen chuckled. “Ginny said it’s a retirement village with enough space that she can get away from Mom anytime she feels like strangling her.” Aspen gave the sauce a quick stir, added a pinch of salt then pulled a strainer out of the cabinet. “Mom already put her place on the market. She should sell pretty quickly.”

  “So they are pretty serious?”

  Aspen shrugged. “So it would seem. They are planning to move down in the spring.”

  “Spring?” Lex shook her head. She was having a hard time wrapping her head around Aspen’s news. Although, she had been gone for over five years, the ranch felt like a second home. They had spent so much time here as a couple, even married here. Letting it go seemed like letting a huge part of her life go. Everything she held dear was disappearing. Conveniently, she forgot the part where she walked away, turning her back on everyone and everything behind her.

  Aspen watched Lex’s face darken, and she knew exactly where her mind had gone. The ranch was the last piece of their lives together and selling it would close the door on everything they had known. “Lex, it’s okay.”

  “No, it’s not. Everything about this place feels right, and if it goes away, it’s almost like all the memories go away with it.” Lex knew that wasn’t the case, but it felt like it. “What happens when this is gone?”

  Aspen saw the heartbreak in her eyes and knew Lex didn’t mean the ranch itself, but what it represented. “I meant it’s going to be okay. I’m buying the ranch.”

  The look on Lex’s face was priceless and had it not been so emotionally overwrought; Aspen might have laughed. “I couldn’t let it go either. Ginny is still selling the land, but the house and the barns are mine.”

  Lex visibly brightened, the initial shock of everything finally wearing off. “You are?”

  “Yes.” Aspen handed Lex a wine opener and nodded at the bottle. She poured the pasta into the strainer, gave it a couple quick shakes to get rid of the water and added it to the tomato sauce.

  Lex opened the bottle and poured two glasses. “Can you afford it?” After college, she had always had a pretty decent income, content to let Aspen follow her dream of being an artist. Now, she worried that Aspen wouldn’t be okay.

  “Yes, Lex.” Aspen cocked her head and shot Lex a wry smile. “I’ll be fine.” She grabbed the handle of the pan and tossed the pasta in the air, mixing it in the pan with a deft flick of her wrist. “Ready?”

  “Yes.” Lex moaned loudly. The aroma of the food was enough to make her mouth water, and her stomach growled in agreement.

  “Then let’s eat.” Aspen filled two plates and sprinkled grated parmesan cheese over both. She handed Lex her plate. “Living room?”

  “Sure.” Lex grabbed her plate and wine glass and followed Aspen, surreptitiously admiring her tight bottom. It was all she could do
not to moan out loud when her mind pictured cupping Aspen and pulling her close. “So you’re really gonna do this, huh?”

  Aspen licked sauce off her finger and nodded. “Yes, Ginny and I already drew up the paperwork. I’m working with a mortgage broker in town to get the loan. He said everything should be fine.”

  “And you’re sure you will be okay?” Lex’s brow furrowed with concern. She smiled ruefully when she saw Aspen glare. “I know, sorry. You're fine. It’s none of my business anyway.”

  “No, it’s not.” Aspen chuckled, lightening the mood. “But since you are being so nosy, I will be fine. I’ve got enough in savings for the down payment, and I’m getting a part-time job at a gallery in Burlington. Between that and what I make on the pieces I sell, I will be okay.”

  “Okay.” Lex stuffed an enormous bite into her mouth and moaned loudly. Her face broke into a huge grin. “Man, I haven’t had this in so long. Damn, it’s good.”

  Aspen lowered her face and blushed. “Thank you, it’s nothing really.”

  Lex touched Aspen’s arm softly, forcing her to meet her gaze. “It is something. Stop doubting how wonderful you are, okay?”

  “I can’t help it.” Aspen’s voice broke slightly, and Lex’s heart sank. “You know how it is.”

  “I do.” Lex couldn’t hold Aspen’s gaze any longer. She did this. She had taken a beautiful, confident woman and altered her so immeasurably that, five years later; she still believed she didn’t deserve praise. “I’m so sorry, A. I fucked up royally. You’re such an amazing woman. I wish I could make you see yourself the way I do.”

  “Oh, so I can see how easy it is to leave me.” Aspen said acerbically. “No thank you.”