Her Secret

by Tara Fox Hall

  “Did he say if he was going to come back? He told Elle he would.”

  “He said he would be there with us on Saturday, no matter what. But I can’t say after that.”

  “What was in the note? Don’t tell me you don’t know.”

  Danial let out a breath. “He said that the maid had been forced to lie, that Tasha had not been married. She’s been waiting all this time for him to come back. She wanted to know if he still loved her, or if he had decided to stay with you.”

  I closed my eyes.

  “I’m sorry,” Danial said gently. “I couldn’t tell you, Sar. I knew how much it would hurt you when you found out. I tried to dissuade Theo from going, but he wouldn’t change his mind.” He paused. “How did you find out?”

  “Because last night I kissed him, and when he kissed me back, he called me by her name in his sleep.”

  “I’m sorry,” he said again. “I—”

  I couldn’t talk about this anymore, not even with him. “What are our chances, on New Year’s Eve?” I interrupted harshly.

  “Honestly? Less than fifty percent,” he said ominously. “But they’ll go up from that if you will let me mark you again.”

  “I’m afraid to have sex with you,” I said honestly. “I want you as much as ever, but I’m worried that I’ll act like I did before. And I don’t feel like I can ask Camlyn for advice. He’s not going to want me to be intimate with you after we’ve worked so hard to get me back to human.”

  “Sar, this is your life we are trying to protect. And you are still taking those pills, so it’s unlikely you’ll react wildly.” He became seductive. “It will be like it was before, Love. Only we’ll have to be a good deal more careful, mainly me. Will you do it?”

  I didn’t answer, not wanting to admit I was off the pills, or commit to the plan. Danial was interested in more than just marking me. If I were with him again, it would be almost impossible for me not to fall back into a relationship with him afterwards, not with how we felt about each other. I couldn’t do that unless I accepted the future of becoming vampire. That meant never feeling the sun again, ever. It meant never eating anything other than blood, ever. I’d have to have donors of my own...

  “Think about it,” Danial continued. “I’ll see you Friday night at the latest. Until then, I’ll call you every night at your home. Leave me any messages you like on my voicemail.”

  I’d made a lot of decisions in my life, some good and some bad. This one would be unalterable once it was done.

  “Sar?”

  “I’ll think on it,” I answered. “Be careful.”

  “I love you.”

  “I love you, too,” I replied. “Goodbye for now.”

  Chapter Ten

  The day after Christmas was a rainy Tuesday morning that dawned grimly. Shortly after dawn, the rain became ice that coated the trees, leaving their branches heavy and drooping with weight. I lay in bed, watching them bend further and further as ice pattered at the windows.

  “That’s how I feel, like those branches,” I told the dogs. “But Aran is coming by this morning. Sure, he isn’t talkative, but he’s cheerful. Let’s make him some cookies, okay?”

  At the sound of the word cookie, the dogs leapt up from their beds. Smiling, I threw back the covers and got to work.

  A few hours later, I took the last of the cookies out of the oven, being careful not to burn myself. My fingers had been clumsier than usual this morning, despite I’d felt much more like my old self. After using both hands to put each cookie one by one on the cooling rack, I went to sit down for a while. Despite my positive mood, I was worn out from all the emotional upset of the day before.

  I went over my list, deciding on what I had time to do next before lunch. Today and tomorrow, I planned to spend at home. Friday, I’d go into Danial’s to finish up some last email work. Friday night, Danial would return. By then, I had to make a decision if I was willing to be vampire, or die trying to save my humanity.

  That was the real question I needed to answer, not was I willing to have sex with him to let him mark me. Danial hadn’t been making preparations all this month because he was overcautious. If he was that worried, I had every reason to think that if I entered that vampire Gathering unmarked—or un-Oathed, for that matter—not only was he not coming home, I wasn’t either.

  Just what fate waited for me at the other Ruler’s hands or their minions I didn’t know. Danial and Theo had never elaborated about what they feared exactly, except death and my being taken away against my will. But I could imagine being kept a prisoner while powerful vampires studied my blood, or used it to create a legion of dhamphirs. From my experience, un-Oathed humans were somewhere below werecreatures in most vampires’ estimation, close to animals. They would take what they wanted from me and cast me aside when they were done.

  What choice was there, really, given that? I had to let Danial mark me. Maybe he was right, with enough care we could find a way to be together without endangering me...

  The clock chimed eleven. Worried, I glanced outside, wondering if Aran would call to cancel. He’d said he’d be going by on an errand for Cia, but the sky was dull white now. The impending storm forecasted for noon might begin at any moment.

  There was no sign of him.

  We were supposed to get a foot or more, something that irritated me. We’d gotten three feet so far this season. With no warm days to melt any of it, the drifts were huge, surrounding the plowed driveway like tall mountains.

  I let out a yawn, blinking my eyes. With the completion of the cookies, despite my eagerness earlier, my utmost desire was a long nap under a warm blanket. Grinning, I made a deal with myself that as soon as the snow flew, the couch was where I was headed. Until then, I needed to keep on track. I hurriedly did some light cleaning and laundry. I was just putting the vacuum cleaner away when the clock chimed twelve.

  I cast a look outside. Snowflakes had begun to fall. Soon, they were falling fast and furiously, obscuring my view of the barn.

  “C’mon, Aran,” I said, scanning the drive. “You don’t get here shortly, I’m walking down those cookies to the mailbox and you can eat them frozen.”

  All of a sudden, the snow-dampened roar of a motorcycle was heard in the silence. Aran drove down the driveway, his lone headlight catching the snowflakes in its circular light as they fell. He was dressed in his usual black leather.

  “You’re crazy,” I muttered, throwing cookies into a plastic bag quickly. “Maybe werefoxes don’t get as cold as normal humans did, but you still have to be cold in that.” I closed the bag, then headed for the front door. “At least it’s something between you and the pavement.”

  Aran pulled up in front of the deck and parked the bike, but didn’t turn it off. He faced the house for a moment. As I opened the door, he gestured around him, then pointed to my house.

  I opened the door and yelled to him, “Sure, you can stay ‘til it stops. I’m glad of the company. Go to the bottom garage, I’ll let you in!”

  He nodded, the visor of his helmet and his shoulders already covered in snow. He drove on as I shut the front door and ran downstairs. Pressing the button, I raised the overhead door and he drove in.

  Shivering in the cold blast from the door, I quickly shut it as he parked his Harley and shut off the engine. He began brushing the snow off himself.

  “Why’d you bring the bike today of all days?” I said, giving him a sarcastic smile. “I told you it was going to storm. Now you’re stuck here. Cia’s not going to be happy.”

  Aran got off his bike and continued to brush him and it off, melting snow creating puddles on the concrete floor.

  “Why don’t you give me your coat, and I’ll put it near the fire. If you want, we can watch a movie or something. I was planning to head to the couch any—”

  Aran unbuckled his helmet and in one smooth motion pulled it off his head. Gold curls and waves fell almost to his shoulders.

  This was not Aran.

 
This was Devlin.

  He stepped off the bike, and came toward me. I was lost from the moment I looked into his golden eyes.

  The garage remote dropped from my nerveless hand as I moved toward him, shaking slightly. I stretched out my arms to him, winding them around his neck, pulling him down to kiss me. He kissed me lightly, nibbling the edge of my lips with his fangs.

  “Miss me?” he said seductively.

  I pushed my body tight against his, desire pouring through me. He groaned and clasped me to him, his soft kiss becoming intent and reckless. Suddenly he lifted me, his leather creaking as he carried me into the basement bedroom. He laid me on the bed, kissing my mouth passionately, delving into me with his tongue, then began to kiss his way down my body. I felt the brush of his fangs on my bare skin and shivered, letting out a wild cry.

  He drew back suddenly to look at me, his eyes molten. He paused for a second as if he was going to speak, then seemed to reconsider his words. Instead, he kissed me again on my throat and shoulders, pulling down my loose sweater so he could run his fangs over my bare skin.

  I tried to unzip his jacket so I could touch him, but my hands couldn’t seem to clasp the zipper. Devlin gently pushed my hands back, and unzipped it, throwing it to one side. He had on a black T-shirt underneath and I ran my hands underneath it, into his chest hair. His skin was cool under my hands, and my desire increased tenfold. He shut his eyes at the feel of my hands on his skin, his lips parting slightly in pleasure.

  The sight of his fang tips made me sigh in eagerness, my rapid breathing speeding up still more. “Please.” I tried to pull him onto me.

  Devlin looked down at me through lowered eyelids. “Danial was right,” he said seductively. Oddly, there was a sad undercurrent beneath the desire.

  “Don’t be sad,” I murmured eagerly. “I want you. God, I want you so much!”

  Devlin pressed his body to me. I felt his shaft hard against my groin, so wonderfully long and ready for me, and instantly forgot everything else. I arched my back, trying to push my body that much closer to him, baring my throat to him.

  “Don’t worry, Sar,” he murmured to me between kisses. “I’ll give you what you’ve been wanting.” He bit me gently, not breaking the skin. At once, my lust roared up inside of me as I gasped, writhing beneath him. I hadn’t felt The Lust in months, not like this. The pills had kept it at bay, but I’d gone off them...

  “Please,” I gasped. “Please, Dev, I need you!”

  “I know what you need, Sar,” he murmured. He held me to the bed with one hand and began to kiss me, running his fangs over my neck. He breathing quickened as he pulled up my shirt, and unclasped my bra, moving it aside as his mouth came down over my breasts, his fangs pressing down slightly as he kissed and sucked at my skin.

  It was sweet torture. No matter how I begged and writhed, he seemed to foresee my movements, speedily avoiding my efforts to impale myself on his fangs. Finally, I was near tears with frustration, crying out repeatedly in desperate need.

  “No,” he said teasingly, drawing his lips from my reddened breast. “I’m not done with the foreplay, Love. You’ll have to wait.”

  “Please, Dev, please,” I whispered, looking into his molten eyes. “I’m in agony. I want you inside me. Please, stop teasing me, please!”

  He bared his fangs slightly, then kissed me hard. Quickly, he moved back from me and began to peel off his boots and socks. Then he slipped off his pants and pulled his T-shirt over his head. He turned towards me nude, and I feasted my eyes on the body I’d dreamed of for so many nights. The sight of his swollen erection made me scramble for him, but he gently pushed me back to the bed. Slowly, he rolled down my leggings and then my underwear, kissing me as he did it. With shaking fingers, I yanked off my sweater and my bra and threw them aside, then reached for him, beckoning him as I lay back, my heart hammering.

  As Devlin lowered his body atop mine, I felt the length of him pressing, seeking entry. My hand darted down to grab hold of him, but he pushed me to the bed, holding me in place beneath him. “I had plans for us, Sar,” he murmured in my ear. “But you’re worse off than I thought. They’ll have to wait.”

  I didn’t know what he was talking about and I didn’t care. I was aching for him, my desire back as if it’d never left. Abruptly, he shifted his hips, bearing down and began to penetrate me. “Hold still, Love,” he whispered, hissing my ear. “I’ll be as gentle as I can.”

  I shook beneath him, fighting my wanton desire to pump my hips and get him inside faster as he slid into me ever so slowly. My heart was pounding. I was beyond breathing hard, the breath tearing out of me.

  Finally, he was mostly inside me, my body encasing him like a tight sheath. He held still then, his eyes closed, savoring being in me, a look of utter satisfaction on his face. Then he began to move, stroking me repeatedly as he had months ago.

  “I can’t wait,” I panted, clasping his buttocks as I strained upward. “Please, don’t make me wait.”

  Devlin let out an eager moan and began thrusting fast within me almost immediately, though he didn’t go very deep. It wasn’t enough. I wanted all of him. I wrapped my arms around him and tried to pull his hips as close to me as I could.

  Devlin resisted, pushing back slightly. “Sar, don’t,” he said roughly, the need for orgasm heavy in his words. “Your body’s not ready for all of mine, I’ll hurt you—”

  “I can’t wait anymore, Dev! Please!” I screamed. “I need you! All of you!”

  “Then you shall have me,” Devlin growled, baring his fangs and sinking them deep into my neck.

  The feeling of utter release after being denied so long brought me spasming, screaming at the top of my lungs. Devlin felt me come, and pushed deep, even as he drank me down. His blissful sighs were muffled, even as he thrust faster. I continued to spasm, continued to come for him, waves of pleasure crashing over me from what his body was doing to mine. I screamed over and over wordlessly, my arms clasped tightly around his head and shoulders as he sucked rhythmically. Dev made a muffled cry, then clutched me to him as tight as he could, driving himself completely into me with abandon as he came. In the next second, he bit deeper, his fangs sliding in completely as he sucked insistently.

  The sensation was too much, too good, too big. I blacked out in his arms.

  The next thing I knew, I smelled the sharp odor of alcohol. I jerked my head back from it. “Sar,” someone said softly. “Wake up, Sar.”

  I opened my eyes. Devlin was looking down at me, attentive but not worried. He put the alcohol soaked rag to the side and gathered me back into his arms. He was dressed in his T-shirt and pants again, though I was still naked. We were still on the bed downstairs.

  “Why are you dressed?” I asked curiously.

  He gave me a considering look. “I thought you might want me to leave when you came to,” he said simply. “Now that you are back in control.”

  I burrowed into his arms. “I don’t want you to leave.”

  He sighed, and held me close to him. For a while, we said nothing. Soon enough, my curiosity got the better of me.

  “Where is the real Aran, Dev? Is he okay?”

  “I had a message left for him that you had decided to put off making cookies until this afternoon, until the storm passes. Brian will come to your home tomorrow to pick them up in his stead.”

  “Brian is still working for you, isn’t he?”

  “Of course,” Devlin said, kissing my forehead. “He has been watching over you for me much as he did before. Did you think I would go off to another country and leave you unprotected after how I told you I felt about you?”

  “I was surprised when you left at all,” I murmured, gazing up into his eyes. “Despite what you said.”

  “I was sure you would tell Theo of what I had done. I appreciate that you didn’t, as we agreed.”

  “I told Danial.”

  “I know,” he said, something unidentifiable in his tone. “Why did you tell him?”
/>
  “There was no way not to tell him. He knows me too well. He knew something was up before I’d said one sentence to him.”

  “And Theo does not know you so well?”

  “Not anymore,” I replied, pulling back from him. Immediately I was dizzy.

  Devlin grabbed hold of me. “Lay back down,” he ordered. “I took a lot of your blood. I don’t want my bites to reopen.”

  I went rigid, reaching up to my neck. There were two bites on the left side, and another one on the right. Alarmingly, my right wrist also bore fang marks. With mounting fear, I saw the left did, too. The bites were red, but they had already begun to heal, even though they’d been made less than an hour before.

  There was no decision for me to make now. Devlin had made it for me as I slept. I began to sob.

  Devlin turned my face up to his. “Sar, stop your crying,” he said harshly. “Right now.”

  I shrank back from him, afraid at his anger. “How could you do this to me—?”

  “Hear this, if you hear nothing else I say. You are not close to turning, not remotely. I’ll wager that you never were.”

  I looked at him in shock. “Dr. Camlyn said—”

  Devlin talked over me angrily, his eyes red as blood. “I don’t care what he said to you, Sar! You might be cooler than a normal human. You might have elevated levels of the vampire virus in your blood, or more lustrous skin, or heal faster, or have brighter eyes. But that doesn’t mean you are turning.”

  “What the hell else could it mean?” I yelled at him.

  “Danial told me that your blood was already way past the point it needed to be for you to be a vampire back when you were checked, right after you had Theoron. Right?”

  I nodded, still angry. “What does that have to do with anything?”

  “Did it ever occur to you, to anyone, that your body had maybe been altered from a different experience? You bore a vampire’s child, Sar! For nine months, you carried him in your body! Did none of you think that might have some lasting effects?”