Forgive & Regret

by Kaitlyn Cross

  Roman opened the door, a frown pulling on his face. “What’s wrong?”

  Stella shoved him back into the room and kicked the door shut behind her, enjoying the startled look twisting his face. Pulse racing, she rushed toward him and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him to her needy lips.

  “Whoa, whoa, whoa.” With a nervous laugh, he held her out for a better look.

  She forced her mouth on him again, needing to taste those sweet lips against her own, wanting him to fill her with his passion and desire before she fell back under Sawyer’s spell.

  Roman backpedalled across the quaint room, hands extended. He grabbed her by the arms and forced her to stop. “Stella, slow down and tell me what happened.”

  She sank back to her heels, shame washing over her in lazy ripples. She didn’t know what she was doing anymore and that scared her more than anything else. A cold realization settled around her feet: She was lost and no one was looking for her.

  Using two fingers, Roman tipped her chin up and evaluated her through those dark, beautiful eyes. “Have you been crying?”

  Wordlessly, she shook her head, afraid her voice would crack if she talked. Afraid she would collapse onto the floor in a puddle and make an even bigger fool of herself than she’d already done.

  “I hope not; you’re too pretty to cry.”

  Her eyes flicked over his shoulder to the room behind him with its Victorian furniture and magnificent four-poster bed. Guilt strummed her heartstrings when she saw the red wine and beautiful flowers resting on the wicker coffee table. Her eyes jerked to the light music oozing from a dock perched upon a voluptuous dresser, adding to the dreamlike state already making her feel faint. In a rare moment of public weakness, Stella hid behind her hands and broke into tears.

  Roman wrapped her in his strong arms and held her to his chest, stroking her hair and speaking softly. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

  She pushed him away and wiped at her face. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have come.” Turning for the door, he caught her elbow and snapped her back to him.

  Roman stared into her eyes for a long moment, his warm breath smelling of chocolate and wine. “I’m glad you did.” He ushered her to a fancy couch that wasn’t very comfortable and sat down next to her, holding her like she was a fragile flower. “What has you so upset?”

  She shook her head, unable to articulate the feelings rushing through her.

  He pulled a lavender handkerchief from his suit coat pocket and handed it to her. “Just let it out.”

  She looked up, tears leaving slick tracks down her cheeks. “It’s not so simple.”

  “Try,” he said, pouring them some wine.

  Stella dabbed at her eyes and took a long drink of cabernet, rolling her eyes when he wasn’t looking. This was beyond embarrassing. But he saw through her. There was no point in hiding from him so Stella spilled her guts and started from the beginning, stopping only to gauge his reaction along the way. Three glasses of wine and two Godiva truffles later, she fell silent, the weight lifted from her and firmly planted upon Roman’s broad shoulders.

  He watched her in the room’s cozy light, reading her almond-shaped eyes. “You should be happy for him, Stella.” He brushed hair from her face. “This is a chance for your father to start over and everyone deserves a second chance.”

  “I know but...”

  “Sometimes things don’t work out and that’s okay because something better is waiting down the road.”

  “You don’t know the whole story.”

  He took off his suit coat and loosened his silk tie. “Then tell me. I’m not going anywhere.” He spread an arm along the back of the wavy couch and sipped his wine.

  But Stella had already gone too far. Some secrets are better left unopened. “I feel so foolish coming to you like this.”

  “Don’t, I want to help.”

  Her eyes strolled the room, glazing over the fireplace and snagging on the king-sized bed. “You didn’t come here to listen to me babble about my problems.”

  He leaned in to intercept her wandering gaze. “I came here to see you, which is exactly what I’m doing. Let’s stay in and order Chinese. We’ll drink wine until you can tell me the whole story.” His effortless smile made her float. “I want to know everything about Stella Talvert.”

  *****

  It took Stella a few seconds to realize where she was when she woke up the next morning. She felt like a queen waking up next to Roman in this massive bed with its carved posts and lush pillows. Her brow dipped in surprise when she saw they were both still dressed in last night’s outfits. Quietly, she swung her bare feet to a soft rug and massaged her temples. There was a pulsating thud coming from behind her right eye and now she remembered why. Empty wine bottles and Chinese boxes littered the coffee table and she didn’t remember going to bed. She remembered talking to Roman well into the night, crying and laughing and staring into each other’s eyes. Being with him was surprisingly…easy, like she’d known him her whole life. His genuine concern made her feel like she could tell him anything and, no matter how bad it was, it would be okay.

  Stella watched him sleep. The way his hair hung in his face made her smile. He was much sweeter than expected. He went to all this trouble and didn’t even get a hand-job. Stella cringed when she thought about how she threw her problems at him last night, everything coming back in sporadic blasts of humiliation that watered her blooming headache. He would never call her again and that was probably for the best. To say she was in a transitional state at the moment was putting it lightly. He was a good man and deserved better. If she was smart, she would concentrate on her father’s bar and her portfolio. Maybe she could even find another design job at Perry’s Diner or that new grill across the lake. Maybe she could specialize in restaurants only. She never considered it before. Roman was the last thing she needed. Besides, she could never face him again anyway. No, he would remain her hot (almost) two-night stand to get her through the cold months.

  Stella grabbed her bag and tip-toed into a sprawling bathroom from the past. Crossing the checkered floor, a shiny claw foot tub caught her eyes. The thought of sinking into a sudsy bath was tempting. Imagining Roman in there enticed her even more. Bravely, she turned to an oval-shaped mirror over the pedestal sink and frowned at her reflection’s wild hair and wrinkled black dress. This was no good. After a hopeless attempt at taming them both, she took a tube of red lipstick from her bag and drew a looping heart around her reflection’s face in the mirror. Inside, she wrote: Thank You.

  Stella stepped back to admire her handy work, running the stick over her lips and pressing them together. Depositing the tube back into her purse, she leaned over the sink and pressed her lips to the glass, planting a soft peck on her reflection. Her reflection pulled back and shot Stella a smile before pulling Roman’s tie-clip from her bag and leaving it on the sink. She didn’t know why she took the things she did from men in her life and didn’t like to think about it. It just happened. Perhaps she just needed a piece of them to hang onto when they were gone, something to remind her that she wasn’t alone. Or maybe she was just bored.

  At the front door, Stella stopped to take one last look back at the sweet man sleeping in bed. She couldn’t remember the last time someone put her first like that and it gave her hope. Putting her fingers to her lips, she blew him a soft kiss and quietly shut the door behind her.

  Rule number four: Always leave them wanting more – unless of course, you like being as mysterious as sliced bread.

  The smell of espresso and coffee beans swirled inside the Cozy Café downstairs, breathing some much needed life into her veins. Stella ordered a black coffee and a blueberry muffin to go, mind gravitating back to Roman while she waited. She was half tempted to go right back upstairs and give him what he really wanted last night, what they both wanted. What was the harm in it? The thought of never seeing him again made her fidget as the kind gray haired barista took her sweet damn time. Stella frowned. Wh
at if she ended up stuck in this town forever, slinging drinks and food for the rest of her miserable life? What if she could have spent one more night with Roman and she didn’t? What if two nights weren’t enough? The frightening thoughts shot through her like bolts of lightning, planting seeds of regret beneath her skin.

  She caught the barista’s warm eyes. “I’m sorry, can I make that two coffees and two muffins?”

  “Sure thing, honey,” the woman said, smiling like one of her grandchildren just asked for another one of her homemade cookies. “I just have to run in back and get some more grounds. Give me two minutes.”

  Stella smiled. “Take your time.” Her heart raced at the idea of sneaking back up into Roman’s room and crawling back into that beautiful bed with that wonderful man. She stared blankly at the menu board behind the counter, imagining herself curling up next to his warm body while his hands sinuously slid up her skimpy dress. Her breath hitched a little when she remembered how his tongue felt that night at the motel, flicking and curling her into a frenzy.

  “Stella?”

  Stella blinked the menu back into focus, her brow creasing at the woman’s voice coming from behind. She turned to a pretty, black woman seated in front of a large bay window against the wall. Sunlight poured through the glass and Stella had to squint to see the man sitting at the table with her.

  “Stella Talvert!” The woman sprang from a wingback chair and rushed across the room. She leaned up and threw her arms around Stella’s neck, pulling Stella tightly against her. “I haven’t seen you in forever!”

  Stella’s eyes drifted to Sawyer as they hugged, pulse thudding in the hollow of her neck. This couldn’t be happening. Stella resisted the frown pulling on her face. Wendy and Sawyer? No fucking way. Were they dating? He held her horrified gaze, smirking behind his mug of coffee. When it rains it pours. Wendy pulled apart and Stella slapped on a fake smile that beamed with confidence. “Hi Wendy! How are you?”

  “I heard you were coming back. You should’ve called.” Wendy’s eyes lowered to Stella’s high heels. “Wait a minute, hold the phone.” She put a finger to her lips, manicured eyebrows drawing together. “Did I just catch you doing the walk of shame?”

  Stella’s wide eyes darted to Sawyer, who was eagerly awaiting her response. “What? No,” she replied too loudly, playing it off with an odd sounding laugh. “No, of course not.”

  Sawyer’s face sobered.

  Wendy kept the finger pressed against her lips and sharpened her gaze. “Let’s see, you are wearing a dinner dress and four inch heels at seven-thirty in the morning.” She folded her arms over a blue blazer that matched her tight fitting slacks. “I want to know everything. Who is he? Where’d y’all meet?”

  Stella nervously combed her hair with her hand and avoided eye contact with anyone, shoes suddenly tight on her feet. “There’s nothing really to tell. What are you guys doing here?”

  Wendy followed her gaze to Sawyer. “I’m helping Sawyer sell his mom’s house.” She took a step back for a better look, a bright smile lifting into her sharp cheekbones. “Well, would you look at this! I can’t remember the last time the three of us were together. It’s like old times.”

  Stella could feel her smile slipping as she wiggled her fingers at Sawyer, who just stared back with a look of displeasure plastered across his unshaven face.

  Wendy gestured to an empty chair at the table. “Come join us.”

  “I wish I could but I have to help my dad with some stuff at the bar,” she lied, twisting her fingers until her knuckles were white with tension.

  Wendy shifted in her high heels. “At this hour?”

  “We’re working on a breakfast menu,” Stella said, digging herself in deeper. “I’m giving the bar a little facelift soon.”

  Wendy inhaled sharply and stepped back. “Oh my God, that is awesome, Stella! You always thought that place looked like a serial killer’s shack in the woods.”

  Stella laughed and traded an uneasy glance with Sawyer.

  He leaned back and folded his arms across his black leather coat. “Breakfast menu? That’s funny, I don’t remember Jase saying anything about serving breakfast.”

  “It’s a secret,” Stella replied, winking at Wendy, who proceeded to lock her lips and throw away the key.

  Sawyer rubbed his chin and studied her like a detective examining a suspicious crime scene. “Well, I love breakfast. What’s going to be on the menu?”

  “Sorry, Sawyer, it’s top secret for now. But I’ll RSVP you in for the grand opening.” Stella shot him a wide smile she knew would shut him up.

  His eyebrows went up. “Whoa, wait a minute, you’re having a grand opening too?”

  Her eyes thinned as Wendy’s gaze bounced between them. “Of course. Wouldn’t be good luck without one.” Stella turned back to Wendy. “So how are you, Wendy? You look beautiful.”

  “Oh thank you, I am great. Selling houses like hotcakes this time of year.” Her smile wavered, sobering her eyes. “This market is so hot right now, I am making a killing.”

  “Really?”

  Wendy leaned in closer. “I just bought a brand new Lexus.”

  Stella masked the failure budding inside. She knew Wendy’s father didn’t buy that car for her. No, Wendy did that all on her own and Stella felt left behind. “That is wonderful.”

  Wendy nodded rapidly. “If you want I can get you an interview with my boss. He is a great guy and you would be a fantastic realtor.” She lowered his voice. “He always hires the pretty ones.”

  Stella clapped a hand over her chest. “Me?”

  “Girl, you could sell water to a well!”

  They both laughed while Sawyer stared at Stella over his steaming mug. He tilted his head to one side. “So…when is this grand opening anyway? And I want to hear more about this breakfast menu. I love breakfast.”

  Wendy frowned at Sawyer. “Didn’t you just eat a double chocolate muffin? How can you even think about food right now?”

  “Sorry to intrude, but you forgot your phone.”

  Stella watched Wendy’s eyes rise to the voice coming from over Stella’s shoulder, a deep seeded cringe taking root in the pit of her stomach. Spinning on her heels, her adrenaline kicked in when she found Roman standing there in all his disheveled glory. Even his bed head was sexy. “Oh, thank you,” she said like she’d just left it sitting on the counter. Their fingers brushed when she took the phone, sending a charge into her dashing heart. She pretended not to notice and failed, stiffening on contact.

  Roman pulled hair from his eyes. “You have a nasty habit of sneaking out on people, don’t you?”

  “You have no idea,” Sawyer muttered from behind his mug.

  She gestured with the phone before slipping it in her bag. “Thank you.”

  Wendy pushed past with a big smile painted across her heart-shaped face. “Hello, I’m Wendy Waggoner.”

  Roman’s eyes dropped to the petite girl standing in front of him holding her hand out. “Roman Weathers,” he said, shaking her hand and glancing at Stella.

  “New to town?” Wendy pried.

  “Somewhat, yes.”

  “Well,” she said, tossing her long hair over her shoulder and digging in her purse. She handed him her business card, her real life smile just as pretty as the one on the card. “I know a fabulous little lake house with an option to buy that would be perfect for you!” She looked around, her voice softening to a whisper. “This might be the last available house for the season. Are you free for a showing this afternoon at two?”

  Roman glanced at Sawyer before looking to Stella, their eyes holding a conversation of their own. She knew what he was boldly thinking in front of everyone and it made her turn away. Satisfied with her reaction, a slippery grin spread through his morning stubble like oil. “As a matter of fact, Wendy, I would love to see what’s left.” He shot Sawyer a self-assured wink. “I just love this little town.”

  “Okay then, two o’clock it is,” Wendy said, tappin
g at her tablet. After one final tap, she looked up. “It was very nice to meet you, Roman.”

  He took her hand. “You as well, Wendy.”

  Her eyes flicked over to Stella. “Girl we have to do lunch. How’s tomorrow at one work for you?”

  “I-uhh…”

  “Perfect!” Wendy tapped at the tablet some more. “There’s a new pasta joint on the other side of town and it is on me.”

  Stella tried to ignore the way Sawyer was sizing Roman up, the urge to flee the premises overwhelming her senses. Her head pounded. The front door called her name. She smoothed her messy hair, nonchalantly glancing at the exit. She stepped toward it. “See you tomorrow then, Wendy.” Giving Roman a thin smile, she passed him by, refusing to even acknowledge Sawyer’s childish glare. Eyes firmly fixed on the exit, Stella concentrated on her footing while cursing herself for wearing four inch heels.

  “Honey!”

  Stella kept walking, refusing to stop for anyone or anything.

  “Say, sweetie!”

  Stella stopped, air leaking from her lips. She turned to the barista sliding two coffees and two blueberry muffins across the counter. Hesitation settled in, everyone staring at her. Stella dashed over, praying she wouldn’t trip. “I just need one,” she whispered, taking one coffee and one muffin.

  The woman’s face sagged. “You said two.”

  “Thank you,” Stella smiled politely, shooting Sawyer a dirty look on the way out.

  He raised his mug. “Good to see you again.”

  “Stella,” Roman whispered as she blazed past.

  She put her head down and stormed by him, determined to reach the tall front doors this time. She could feel their eyes burning holes into her back and didn’t care. She could never face them again and that was all there was to it. The crisp morning air cooled her lungs when she stumbled outside, hair flying behind her like a golden cape. She knew they were watching from the bay window with the morning light revealing the grim looks on their faces, but she refused to turn and find out. Inside her car, she stowed away the coffee and muffin, her heavy breaths loud in her ears. Stella started the car without looking up and shifted into reverse, slamming on the brakes and nearly backing over two elderly women dragging carry-ons across the small lot. Stella’s head snapped back against the headrest, the parking aid angrily beeping at her miscue. They gave her a nasty look and she waved. “Come on,” she grumbled under her breath, willing them to walk like they weren’t dragging boulders. When she saw Sawyer and Wendy step onto the front porch her heart skipped a beat, shooting white spots across her narrowing field of vision.