The Will to Love

by Selene Chardou

  “You know what I’m doing because we discussed it earlier today. I’m trying to get information so I can do my job.” Sasha dismissed her sister and focused her gaze back on Will.

  “We both know this isn’t the time or the place. If you want to ask him questions then do it when we get to Vegas, not here at the airport. It’s not that important and you know it. You don’t have anything to announce within the next few days except your own engagement so leave Will the hell alone.”

  Sasha opened and closed her mouth before she walked off and joined Grant in the private lounge they all shared.

  “Thanks for saving my ass,” Will murmured as he grabbed Laurel by the waist and pulled her close.

  “I know she doesn’t mean anything by it but she’s never been the most tactful of people and let’s face it, that’s what makes her so great for PR but still…she should at least be able to see that this is a difficult time for you at the moment. Her questions were out of line and with you losing Grant as a friend…not just what you two were to one another sexually…she should know better. It’s not the time or the place to discuss this.” Laurel slid her hands around his neck but she didn’t attempt to kiss him.

  “So, why do you all the sudden give a shit after what I put you through?”

  “What? I’m a bit confused by your question.”

  “No matter how I slice it or dice it, what I did to you with Grant is still considered cheating. I was unfaithful and it doesn’t make a damn bit of difference you knew about it. I didn’t stay true to you and I allowed the history we had together to trump our relationship. You shouldn’t be defending me—perhaps your sister has a good point and I’m just some piece of shit who doesn’t deserve you and never did.” Will’s eyes never bothered to meet hers because he didn’t want to see the truth in her eyes.

  Laurel dropped her arms from around his neck and pressed her hands against his chest as she shook her head adamantly. “Sasha has never said that to me, and furthermore, what happens between us is our business. She’s my sister, not my ward—I’ve been in my fair share of toxic relationships and believe me when I say that what you and I have is one of the most healthiest places I’ve been in a long time.”

  “How can you say that when you’ve admitted to me how much I’ve hurt you? Yes, it would be different in Vegas but not much changes other than our location. You should know that after touring the world with me. At the end of the day, I’m still me and you’re still you.”

  “True but we take responsibility for our actions, Will.” She stared at him and he realized he could get lost in those pools of hazel-green so easily. “No more cop outs about love and feelings and emotions getting in the way with what we have together. There’s no longer anything between you and Grant but a working relationship and as long as it stays that way then there will always be room here for you and us. I don’t give up easily—then again, you already know that.”

  Will opened his mouth to speak as Kaz strolled in looking pissed off. Their flight was announced and he knew what he was about to tell Laurel could wait until they boarded the plane.

  Laurel smiled and nodded as if she innately understood why he chose to stay quiet. He’d never been so happy they had that ability to read one another’s body language and he pressed her body close against his.

  He buried his face in her hair and smelled the delicious scent of her shampoo, the jazzy fragrance of SJP NYC coming off her flesh and she smelled like home. His own slice of heaven on earth where he desperately needed to be at that moment.

  Everyone, including the members of Scarlet Fever—sans Jaden—headed toward the private plane, courtesy of Introspect Records, and boarded the flight.

  Kaz sat by himself in the back of the jet and appeared to be extremely pissed off but no one would dare ask him what was wrong. It was obvious since Sydney hadn’t bothered to accompany him to Vegas. Meanwhile Will sat next to Laurel near the front of the plane while Grant and Sasha took seats toward the middle of the plane.

  The private luxury jet was stocked with all the best booze, food and electronic equipment available and the flight attendants were beautiful and attentive to everyone on board.

  “Why isn’t Syd here?” Laurel wondered loud enough for only Will to hear.

  “Apparently she’s not up for any flights and she’s been going through some personal problems with Kaz. It certainly isn’t like he’s going to tell us what’s going on in his relationship, know what I mean?” He buckled his seat belt and pulled her closer to him. “Besides, she’s your best friend. I was hoping you would be able to shed light on their situation.”

  She laughed out loud before she kissed the side of his face. “Honey, Syd and I aren’t as close as we used to be. Didn’t you know? When she has problems, she goes to Talia, not me. I have no idea what is going on in that brain of hers except she was complaining a bit how Kaz doesn’t respect her or ask her for her input anymore. That isn’t such a great idea if he wants to keep her because she’s grown a lot since her birthday. I think we all have and if he continues to treat her like a piece of arm candy, the future does not bode well for those two.”

  He turned toward her and looked into those gorgeous hazel-green irises. “Do you think I do that to you?”

  She shrugged and looked away from him. “Perhaps in the beginning you did and with good reason. It’s really hard to go from dating rich playboys to a rock star and after what happened between Grant and I a couple years ago, I didn’t know what he’d told you about the situation. Suffice to say it was extremely unpleasant for me to find out you two were more than friends. It made me think you treated me like a whore because I deserved it.”

  “Even if you didn’t? Everyone makes mistakes and God knows I’m not perfect.”

  “I never said I wanted you to be either.”

  They clasped hands; Will had to admit it had been a long time since he’d felt that close to anyone but for some reason, Laurel gave him the strength he needed to get through all the crap going on in his life.

  She leaned her head against his shoulder, and as his heart thundered in his chest, everything between them felt perfect. It was an illusion but damn, did it feel good for him to pretend everything between them was absolutely fine.

  Chapter Five

  Laurel

  IT DIDN’T MATTER how many times I’d been to Vegas, there was always a magic, frenetic energy about the city that acted like a drug and flowed through my veins. I loved the place and perhaps I could admit to myself I hoped Scarlet Fever took the deal to play here for the next two years.

  I was tired of L.A. and the drama that came with living in the city. I wasn’t very close to either one of my former best friends.

  The separation between Faith and I didn’t bother me that much because the bitch had always been crazy but now that she was a full on drug addict and the weird ass threesome she shared between Jaden and his on-again/off-again relationship with Talia Viaro was just a bit too much for me to take. The only drugs I used were my prescribed Xanax, marijuana and alcohol so her whole descent into the world of hard drugs was a complete and utter mystery I didn’t understand.

  Why someone would get off on using Oxycontin and coke was a complete and utter mystery to me. I was too much of a controlling bitch—except when I was in the middle of a anxiety attack—and I could never allow drugs to rule my life. Plus Will was too much of a health nut despite his love for his cigarettes and marijuana. He wouldn’t have tolerated that kind of behavior from me regardless.

  Syd’s situation was a bit different and although she’d started the tour as the average “stupid girl”, she’d metamorphosed into a stunning young woman who knew what she wanted and wasn’t afraid to have an opinion. All the sudden, she knew who she was and it was awesome to watch her grow a pair and face up against Kaz. However, it was a tough situation because all I could see was tragedy. She was slowly morphing into her mother and she would be willing to raise their son without him rather than put up with his bull
shit. The problem was I don’t think he knew this small fact and it could cost him the “love of his life.”

  I had issues of my own but that didn’t mean I’d forgotten about my two BFFs and wished we were as close as we’d been. There were times I would have given anything in the world to talk to them instead of my sister. Not only was she the band’s press manager but she also wasn’t the most empathetic person and when I’d approached her about my issues, she usually had her head so far up her Samsung Note’s ass, she barely listened to what I told her.

  The fact that she knew about what Will and Grant were up to was a surprise until I realized it directly affected the band’s reputation and it was her job that their clandestine affair never got out. Of course she’d known and me keeping it from her meant nothing; she would have had to know if she’d put a stop to it before they could get engaged.

  “What’s the matter?” Will whispered into my ear, his masculine voice sent chills down my spine.

  “Do we have to spend the night at Paul and Jerrica’s? I mean…I adore them but I don’t necessarily want to be there…not tonight. I don’t feel like talking about us to them.”

  “We’ll get a hotel, babe. Where do you want to stay? MGM Grand? Caesars Palace? The Cosmopolitan?”

  I clutched my Ulysse Nardin and began to book us into a suite at Vogue Hotel, Casino and Spa. “Might as well make it convenient for you. I just booked us a very pricey suite at Vogue. Isn’t that where the meeting is going to be held tomorrow?”

  Will kissed my lips quickly. “Yes, it is. Thanks, babe.”

  Kaz cleared his throat. He sat across from us in the spacious limo and downed a straight Courvoisier like it was water. “Don’t you think that is a bit rude? We were all invited to spend the weekend with our financial manager and his wife.”

  I scrunched up my face in my annoyance.

  Yes, Kaz was a sexy guy but what Syd saw in him was beyond me. He had an uncouth quality about him and it was hard for me to believe he’d grown up in our same social circle. Shortly after he and Syd started dating, I asked my parents about him and they’d told me he’d disappeared off the radar after his seventeenth birthday. My father, being the thorough Scandinavian he was, actually checked the private schools and he’d never been registered in any of them.

  I had a feeling there was a lot more to him than met the eye but Syd didn’t know much about him either during his teenage years and what she knew, she wasn’t willing to share with me.

  “Listen, we’ll be back tomorrow after the meeting so what’s the problem? Is it so wrong we would rather have some private time together?” I snapped without thinking about who I was talking to.

  Will’s blue eyes glared between the two of us but I could give a fuck as Kaz’s aquamarine eyes turned colder than an Eskimo’s dick. “Listen, I know you think you’re special because you’re the photographer for our band and Winter’s Regret but don’t forget you’re easily replaceable.”

  My heart beat fiercely in my chest though my voice never flinched. “If you think I’m not up to doing my job, by all means, report me to Dom and I’m sure he’ll be able to find a replacement for me in no time, Kasper. I would just hate for him to find out the reason why you think I’m so…inadequate. I didn’t realize Will was under your beck and motherfuckin’ call.”

  I stared down the lead singer of the band for several more agonizing seconds until he rolled down the partition between the driver and us. “We’ll be making a detour on the Strip to Vogue Hotel and Casino. One of the band member’s and his girlfriend are staying there tonight.”

  “Yes, sir,” the driver said with little emotion before he took the Tropicana exit and got onto the Strip, which was a virtual parking lot on a Friday night.

  I’d never been so relieved to get out of a vehicle as I was when we pulled up and both Will and I got out while a valet whistled to a bell hop to get our luggage.

  “Good evening, Mr. Cullen and Ms. Munsen. Your suite is ready. Just let me know when you’re ready to go to the club and I’ll get you two a limo, courtesy of the hotel. Here’s my number if you need anything.”

  Will grabbed the card from the valet and smiled. “Thanks, Roger. I wonder if anyone missed me. It’s been a while since I’ve been there.”

  “Believe me, sir, you were missed.”

  I waited until we’d checked in and had boarded the elevator. “What was that about? What club were you two talking about?”

  Will looked so innocent yet mischievous as he said, “Club X-Tasy. It’s a—”

  “Bondage, domination, and sadomasochism club. I’ve been to the New York location in the meat packing district. I’ve dated all types, including a stock broker who liked pain. Please don’t tell me you’re a pain whore.” My heart began to thud faster in my chest; this was a whole new side to Will I was seeing and I wondered why I knew nothing about it.

  “No, I’m not. Even as a gay man though I look like the classic twink, I’m actually a dominant. I can count the number of times I have been fucked in the ass and it’s not because I don’t enjoy it…it’s a loss of control and unfortunately, I have a hard time giving up control to anyone.”

  “How long have you been a member? It’s one hundred grand a year when I dated Mr. Pain Whore Stockbroker Boy.

  “It’s still one hundred grand but I get a deep discount.”

  My eyebrows arched upwards. “And why is that?”

  Will smiled slightly. “I worked at the L.A. location for almost two years. Although I was not a pain whore…I sometimes had to put up with the degradation and that meant me being fucked even when I didn’t want to be. I still came but it wasn’t something I would have done had it not been my job. Imagine that, a gay man not enjoying gay sex. But the dominant women with the strap-ons were the worst because they thought you were a fucking animated doll.”

  He sighed before he continued. “Just know that all the sex there was in fact consensual and safe. It was good money and besides, I didn’t stay at the club for long…I started working for one of the Krieger twins and I lived in his home. I rarely saw him—I was just paid to be there and service him when he was town. When the band took off, I quit and he understood but he was generous enough to provide me with a lifetime membership.”

  I didn’t know how to respond to anything Will had just told me. He’d been a sex slave/escort before he made it big with Scarlet Fever.

  “So, you’re not the least bit worried about working for the same man again in a different capacity?”

  Will’s lips pursed before his crystal blue eyes stared deeply into mine. “I never said I worked for Rory. Rory Krieger owns Vogue Hotel and Casino—his brother, Severin Krieger, doesn’t have anything to do with the hotel though he is a member of the Board.”

  “I vaguely know who they are. My dad is Danish after all and we pretty much know most of the wealthy families in Scandinavia and Germany. They’re identical twins so how do you know they didn’t switch sometimes? How do you know you were always servicing the same twin?”

  “The eyes are the window to the soul,” he said as he gently touched my jaw with his right hand. “Only Seven can give someone a heartless, penetrating gaze like he has no soul. Rory isn’t capable of it because he, unfortunately, has empathetic qualities Severin could never possess.”

  The elevator stopped and we stepped out. There were only four suites per floor this high up and we quickly found ours. “So, which brother did you work for?”

  “I won’t tell you because you want to know too bad and besides, I’m bound by a confidentiality agreement. I can’t disclose which brother I worked for or the Krieger family only has to make a phone call and all the sudden, I don’t have a job. It’s as simple as that for them to ruin me.”

  I dropped the conversation as he opened the door to the suite and I walked inside, followed by him.

  The layout was similar to every other luxury suite I’d ever stayed in and after a six month tour where all I saw was the inside of various luxur
y hotels—not to mention a lifetime of growing up wealthy, traveling and staying in the best hotels on the planet—they’d lost their appeal a long time ago.

  Our luggage awaited us in the spacious sitting room. I quickly headed for the bar and made myself a straight Grey Goose without ice and downed it.

  “What should I wear?” I inquired, shattering the silence between the two of us.

  Will strode over, the bar separating us. “What did you wear when you accompanied your stockbroker boyfriend?”

  “He said it was a surprise so I just wore something trashy yet classy by Versace. It was black and paired with a pair of Manolo Blahniks if I’m not mistaken but since I’m with you, I brought all types of clothing. Should I wear something leather? I’ve got this cool black leather bustier I can pair with a short pair of leather shorts and thigh high boots. It sounds sluttier than it is but I’d look hot and I’d blend in.” I leaned on the bar, our skin touched one another’s and the electric pulses it sent through me went straight to my groin.