Silent Bob

by Erik Schubach

  Then Blake and I started discussing the future for the first time. She just handed over a thank you card for me to sign and she looked over at me like she was afraid of something. I quirked an eyebrow and tilted my head, getting lost in her twinkling intelligent eyes. “What's on your mind Blakester?”

  She exhaled. “I... want to be THERE, for your recovery at home. It is odd for me to admit, if you would have told me that a year ago, I would have said it was crazy. I was such a terrible person before you. I feel like a better person around you. I've become quite addicted to being by your side.”

  I couldn't stop smiling as she continued. “Would you... is it OK if... what I'm trying to ask is...”

  I stopped her with a kiss, it made me wonderfully tingly all over. I nodded with a grin. “I'd love it if you would stay with me. I've become quite accustomed to having you around myself. Plus, being the selfish person I am... that gives me more time to stare into your gorgeous green eyes.”

  She looked immensely relieved and appeared to be tearing up. Why was she so relieved? I'm the one who is the lucky one. I've grown even closer to her here at the hospital than we were before. How is that even possible? Her strength and patience with me are unparallelled. I keep waking up each morning knowing that she will be gone... but she is always right there, in that chair. My anchor... feeding me strength to get through this. So for her to want to stay with me is a huge weight off my heart. I can't describe how relived I am.

  She smiled with a coy look on her face. “OK, but don't read too much into this. I'm not easy. I expect to be wined and dined and properly dated and courted once you get your lazy ass out of here.”

  I gave her my best seductive smile and leaned in to where our lips were millimeters apart and just sat there smiling. Our hot breath on each others lips. She finally caved and closed the distance and kissed me. I giggled. “No... you ARE easy Blake.” This got me a playful slap on my arm and another hot kiss on my lips. Fair trade!

  Then she sighed and tilted her head as she asked, “Have you re-thought the elevator in the lodge?”

  I nodded. “Yes... actually I think it is a great idea for people with disabilities to get to the second level where the cafe is. That lodge was built long before people thought seriously abut accessibility... stairs all over the place. BUT, I'm not getting in the damn thing! I'm no invalid. The stairs will do fine.”

  She looked frustrated. “You're impossible sometimes Ro! What am I going to do with you?”

  I mocked thinking for a second and brightened like I had an idea. “Anything you want Blakester.” This got me the smile I was looking for from her.

  We finished up our letters and cards and double-checked my belongings and waited for the damn doctor. He was already twenty minutes late. I stood up and slid my arms in my forearm crutches and started erratically pacing the room.

  Finally the doc showed up and a male nurse with a wheelchair. What the hell is that contraption doing in here? The doc had me sign the discharge papers then discussed some of the long term things again, like therapy and followup visits. We had been through all of that a thousand times before.

  Then we spoke a little about my recovery and the possibility of me hiking and climbing again. He started to get evasive and non-committal. Damn it! Not this time! “Speak plainly Doc! I need to know. Will I be able to do my outdoor activities or not?”

  He sighed and then said probably the most heart rending thing anyone had ever said to me. It hit me like a physical blow. “No... I don't see you recovering enough to ever do strenuous outdoor activities. It is nothing short of miraculous the amount of mobility you have been able to accomplish. But your injuries were just too severe. It isn't possible. I'm sorry Miss Valentine.”

  Then he simply turned to leave the room. Just like that. He washed his hands of me after crushing my dreams. I felt rage inside. I don't like rage. I'd rather be happy. I felt frustration. I felt...

  Blake was laughing, this caused the doctor to stop and I was looking at her like she had gone mad. She started talking to the doctor with genuine humor in her voice. “Did you just now tell her something was impossible doc?” She snickered. “That's what this person does. She does the impossible for others every day. Let me be the first to tell you that she'll make you eat those words. Do you have any idea who she is? This...” She turned to me with nothing but love in her eyes. “...is Silent Bob!”

  He shook his head and left the room. Suddenly all the anger and frustration were gone. This marvelous, stupendous, beautiful woman just gave my happiness back like it was nowt. I smiled at her and we started toward the door. Her creaking and clacking, and me calckity creak clanking. We must make quite a sight.

  The nurse intercepted me. “I have to wheel you out the main doors in this Miss Valentine.”

  I looked at him and almost hissed, “I'm not leaving in a wheelchair. I can move under my own power.”

  He looked at me apologetically. “I'm sorry it is hospital policy.”

  I was about to argue but then heat bloomed on my arm, giving me butterflies in my stomach as Blake laid her hand gently on my arm. “Ro...” She tilted her head toward the chair. I pleaded with her with my eyes and opened my mouth to protest. She just kept looking all cute and Blake-like and interrupted. “Ro...” Fine pull the God damned cute-card woman! You know I'll cave!

  “No fair.” I pouted and hung my head to her snickering. I sat in the damn chair and put my crutches across my lap as I was wheeled to the elevator. Then after a quick ride down and then through the main lobby we got outside the main doors and I was standing up almost before he could stop the wheelchair.

  To his credit he had a huge grin on his face as he was turning to go back inside, saying, “Have a great day Miss Valentine.”

  Chapter 14 – A Merry Little Christmas

  To Blake's laughing delight, I must have had my head hanging out the window on the entire ride home, breathing the cool fresh springtime air and almost panting like a dog. Nirvana! It has been so long!

  We arrived at a deserted lodge, it was late afternoon but not that late. What the hell? We're only closed on holidays! I'm going to have to have a serious talk with Kim!

  We entered at ground level into the retail space and made our way to the stairs. I glanced over beside them and saw a shiny new glass elevator. They had done it behind my back before I OKed it. Sneaky girls! But I'm still not using the damn thing!

  We made our way up to the deserted second floor. Blake walking ahead then waiting for me at the top as I made my way up. Tap tap creeeak clank... Tap tap creeeak clank... She made a show of twiddling her thumbs. I grinned at her. The woman is incorrigible.

  Just as I got to the top she leaned in like she was going to kiss me then spun away at the last second giggling up the next flight of stairs to my place, leaving me aroused and frustrated. I shook my head with a smile and called up, “Tease!” She rewarded me with another giggle.

  Tap tap creeeak clank... Tap tap creeeak clank... Damn, this is hard. I got to the top and paused for a moment to catch my breath. I looked over to see Blake standing coyly by my door. She'll be the death of me yet!

  As I reached the door she swung it open. I stepped inside and was stunned as all of the people I love yelled, “Merry Christmas!” The place was a Christmas wonderland! The great room was decked out in lights, holly and decorations. My little Christmas tree was replaced by a huge twinkling and sparkling tree with brightly wrapped gifts beneath. I was crying and I still don't know why.

  I dropped my crutches and held my hands over my mouth. I stiffly made my way toward everyone creaking and clanking, my right leg swinging a little wide. Sammie rocketed over and grabbed my crutches and put them beside the sunken seating space and then grabbed my hand excitedly, dragging me to everyone. “Aunty Bobbi! Now that you are home we can have a right happy Christmas!”

  I giggled and hugged her then hugged everyone else in turn, exchanging greetings. I hobbled down the steps into the sunken seating area a
nd sat down in front of the low burning fire.

  I wiped away my tears. “You know I love you all don't you?” I got smiles, nods and mumbled “Love you too”s in return.

  We all spent the night feasting on a Christmas dinner, discussing everything from life to business to the future. Have I mentioned how much I love these people? Then... “finally” if you ask Sammie... moved on to the presents.

  I took the time to marvel at my wonderfully unorthodox family as we moved down to the sunken seating area. I just looked around at them all, amazed at how each one is strong in a different way and how proud of each and every one of them I am.

  I was pleasantly surprised that Kim started us out by handing out my gifts to each of them. Those brightly color packages had been sitting in my place for so long, just patiently awaiting my return to be given to my girls and guys.

  Samantha was thrilled to death with the art set I gave her, Kim misted up when she saw it, did I just crack her stoic armor? It was identical to the one I had given her so many years ago, I only thought it was fitting. I had to giggle at Sammie's squealing delight as she ran and jumped up into my lap for a super hug. I held her on my lap as we watched the others open theirs.

  I tried to put as much thought in all of the other gifts. From the reactions, I did OK. Vernon loved his monogrammed tool belt and framed picture of his son, Tim's college graduation. He looked at me crossways at the “bonus” check. What was that look for?

  Ramona looked confused when she pulled out some bland olive drab coveralls. I explained that if she wore them around the shop, she wouldn't be able to manipulate me by looking cute all the time. She just winked. “You're just easy boss.” She squealed just like Sam when she unrolled them and a little box with a silver chain with a little locket inscribed with Ramona dropped to the floor.

  Jane cried when she opened hers. A piece of art I had commissioned from Mia Jacobs. It was a delicate airplane that looked to be made of wooden ribbons. It was actually carved out of a single piece of wood. It looked to be pulling a banner behind that had words that were comprised of tens of thousands of little pinholes burned through the ribbon. “First Love ~ Forever Friend”

  Kim opened her's but closed it again quickly I could see her armor shattering as Skylar put a hand on hers and opened the box again. Skylar took out a colorful winter scarf and looked questioningly at Kimi as a tear rolled down her face. Skylar asked softly, “What is it Flower?”

  Kim finally smiled and looked up at her with another tear trickling down her cheek. “It's the scarf Bobbi was wearing the day we met. The day She saved me. The day I discovered that the world is full of wonder and heroes.”

  Kimi walked over to me and smiled as she hugged me long and hard, whispering, “I love you big sis.”

  I smiled and whispered back, “I love you too little sis.”

  There were similar hugs and tears for all the rest.

  After Sandra opened hers, simple framed pictures of each of us with little hearts around the frames... I also informed her that Silent Bob's had been collecting old clothing, coats, gloves, shoes and boots from our customers all year for her, and had a large truckload of clothing to be delivered to the shelters. She squealed louder than Samantha had and hugged me with so much excited energy I thought she might phase out of our space/time continuum. I knew she loved those people more than anything else. Well... maybe not more than Jane.

  It came down to the gift in Blake's hand. I was feeling nervous as she opened the box it had “I” on the lid of the box. Inside was another smaller box “have”, then a smaller one “to”, then one last one, smaller yet “confess”. She opened it and pulled out the little red paper heart with nothing but Silent Bob written on it. She looked at it then at me. I shrugged and spoke hoarsely, “It was all I could think of to give you... my heart.”

  She looked back at it, I couldn't read her face, I may as well have been looking at Kim. Then she whispered, “But... you did this before Christmas... before the fight... before the accident.” I nodded. She was tearing up. “You were going to confess?”

  I nodded and looked down, “Both to my lies and my feelings for you. I was so terrified I'd lose you.”

  A soft finger was guiding my chin back up and our eyes met for a moment before her lips were on mine. I'm pretty sure I was floating inches off the floor when she broke the kiss. Then I was aware of people aaaaw-ing and Crystal comically chiming out. “Ewwww! Straight girl kissing a gay girl! My eyes! My eyes!” Everyone laughed out loud at this. Oh God, I just snorted again didn't I?

  Blake giggled at her. “No straight girls here but Ramona.”

  Then all the other gifts were handed out. We had a great time, laughing and joking. Singing Christmas carols in April. Kim handed me a magazine that came out last week with the headline of “The Legend of Silent Bob”, and told me the news people were just eating my story up and it was causing a huge swell of business that she had had to slosh over to Reston Outfitters.

  With so many “aunts” and “uncles” Sammie certainly made out like a banshee. A cute tiny giggling blonde banshee with an infectious smile.

  I was a little sad when it was all winding down. The last gift had been opened. But then suddenly there was a cute upside down Blake in my face as she leaned over the sunken seat from behind me and gave me a quick upside down peck on the lips. Then she handed me a little box as she walked down the step to stand in front of me as everyone quieted down.

  I squinted an eye at her as she acted all sweet and innocent. I opened the box and there was a simple gold band in it. I wasn't sure I was seeing things right. I looked over at her and she put her hands together in front of her lips like she was praying. Her eyes were glistening. She whispered, “Be MY Valentine, and no one else's.”

  I started sobbing and nodding at her. I thought I was all cried out but apparently not. She grabbed the ring from the box and whispered, “These past few months I have been filled with nothing but happiness. You gave that to me Ro. I used to be full of rage, but now there's nothing but love. You made me want to be a better person. Then you went and stole my heart. I can't imagine living my life without your strength, without your smile.” Then she slid it on my finger.

  She kissed me and time stopped. If you could look at your entire life in a single instant and identify the moment you were the happiest... the moment you found your true soul mate. This was my moment. I just basked in that moment until time started again.

  I gasped for air when we broke the kiss to everyone applauding. I whispered, “Ditto.” There were chuckles from the peanut gallery.

  After everyone but Kimi's family had left. Skylar excused them to the guest room. Fine... to Kimi's room, she'll always have a room here.

  I turned to Blake, and the smoldering, hungry look she was giving me was melting me into a puddle. With meaning beyond the words, she whispered, “Let's go to bed Ro.”

  I whimpered happily as she slowly dragged me to my... no... to our room.

  - - -

  Oh my God what a beautiful day!! My body was still tingling from last night. Blake's “research” was certainly fruitful. She had played me like a violin. I gave as well as I got. We took it slow, creating the most sensual experience of my life.

  If there was any doubt before, now there is no mistaking that she one hundred percent owns my heart.

  If it is possible, she looks even more beautiful sleeping here beside me with a spectacular glow radiating from her. I couldn't resist, so I leaned over and gently kissed her neck by the red mark I left last night. Hey, a girl has to mark her territory!

  She kept her eyes closed but she smiled with a look of satisfaction on her face as she stretched like a jungle cat. Then she opened her twinkling eyes with a grin.

  I smiled back, and I felt I couldn't break tradition so I said, “So, after I open up shop today, I was thinking maybe we could discuss some sort of business plan since it seems Kim has almost merged our two businesses.”

  She started laugh
ing and rolled her eyes. “And hello to you too baby.”

  I giggled. “Hello Blakester.”

  We got up and got ready for the day, with me calckity creak clanking to the shower. I put the crutches and braces by the bathroom door and this wondrous Romanian gypsy princess joined me in the shower. I don't know if it was the hot water or us that steamed up the mirror.

  I used the hair dryer to defog the mirror. Then I took the time to really look at myself in it. I hadn't really taken the time nor did I have the desires to see myself while I was in the hospital. Holy cow has my hair gotten longer! I'll have to do something about that later. I looked thinner, I'll have to do something about that too.

  I had some scars on my torso from the surgeries to the internal damage the broken ribs had caused. I don't know why, but I kind of liked them. They showed that I had survived.

  There was something about my eyes... I saw a fire there that I didn't like, was it anger? But just as that thought crossed my mind the fire was extinguished as Blake was standing behind me with her hands laying gently on my hips. She took the anger away. She looked at me in understanding and whispered, “It will take some time. One day at a time, one step at a time Ro.”

  Then we got dressed and went downstairs to open up. She playfully skipped down each flight and leaned against the banister to wait for me to creak clank down. That's another thing I love about her, she isn't trying to help me all the time. She really isn't treating me any different than before I had more metal on my legs than her.

  Virtually on cue she chimed out from the bottom, “Come on slowpoke, the world isn't going to wait for you.” I shook my head with a small smile on my face.

  As I reached the bottom, we both started cracking up when we looked over to see Ramona and Remmy riding down in the glass elevator from the office level, waving at us.

  It was nice to get back into the morning ritual I have done since I was twelve. There was something reassuring about it. Once everything was set up and the front doors were unlocked. We leaned back against the wall to take it all in for a moment.