Edge of Awareness

by C. A. Popovich

  “I do. He doesn’t do a lot of jumping anymore, and I’m filling in between meals with green beans, like you suggested. He loves them.”

  “Good. I’ll give him his immunizations and you can set up your payment schedule with Rose on your way out.”

  “Thanks. I appreciate your flexibility.”

  “No problem. I wanted to ask you something, so I’m glad you came in today.” She continued to hold Frankie, but kept her eyes on Maria. She took a deep breath, expelled it, and swallowed hard before continuing. ”You’ve been bringing Frankie in for a couple of years now, and I’d like to get to know you better. I’d like to take you to dinner or lunch one day. Maybe we could go to that new Italian place in town?”

  Maria wondered about the reclusive doctor. She didn’t know her well, and she’d heard from clients that Dr. Jay was good with their animals but lacked social skills. She lived alone and nobody ever saw her with anyone or knew if she was married. She seemed more comfortable interacting with her patients than their owners. But Maria wasn’t going to judge anyone based on his or her social skills. Many of her clients came into her shop with barely a greeting, sat down for a haircut, and left with merely a mumble of thanks and good-bye.

  Maria’s surprise must have shown because Dr. Jay laughed and added, “I don’t spend all my time with animals you know. I do mingle with humans sometimes.”

  “I just thought…well, you’re always here at the clinic.”

  “I do spend a lot of time here. I love my practice, but you’re a beautiful woman and, if nothing else, maybe we could be friends.”

  Wait. Is she asking me out on a date? Does she think I’m a lesbian? She had to make sure she was clear about their relationship. She didn’t want to give her false expectations.

  “Thank you. I’d like to get to know you too, Doc., but I think I’d like to consider you a friend, just a friend.”

  Ever since Angie had told her about Dana kissing another woman she’d been intrigued. Now she was aware of two women she knew and respected who might be gay. How many others did she know, and how was she supposed to tell? What would make the doctor think she might be gay too? She was confused, but she met Dr. Jay’s gaze and smiled.

  “Good enough. I’ll give you a call and we can arrange a day.”

  “Sounds good. Come on, Frankie old boy. Let’s go home.” Maria clipped on his leash and led him to the front desk.

  She nestled Frankie into his crate that she’d strapped down in the backseat and allowed her thoughts to drift to the first time she’d met Dana. She remembered her intensity and tenderness. Dana had listened like it mattered what Maria said, and she’d treated Frankie as if he were the most cherished animal on earth. She showed thoughtfulness when she went out of her way at Amigos to say hello and meet Justin. Did it really matter if she kissed women instead of men? Maybe she should ask Pastor Mike. When she was a child, her father or mother always had answers to her questions. Of course, this one had never come up.

  Why hadn’t it ever come up? There was a boy in eleventh grade the jocks used to make fun of, and even her own boyfriend used to call him faggot. He just seemed like a nice guy to her, and she never paid much attention to it all. Now she wondered if she should have.

  She remembered her first music class teacher in middle school. She was a tall woman with blond hair that she always had tied back into a braid. Maria had thought she was the prettiest teacher she’d ever had, and she would make up excuses to stay after class and talk about composing songs. She’d never questioned her motivation, but looking back, she wondered.

  Maria had begun singing in her father’s church choir when she was twelve years old and had both girl and boy friends. Her teen years had been filled with music classes and dreams of Julliard. Her high school boyfriend had been captain of the basketball team.

  The question that bothered her most was why Pastor Mike stressed that the bible taught that homosexuality was a sin, and her father taught loving inclusion for everyone. Did he mean everyone except gays? Maria’s shoulders tensed. She disliked the thought of her loving God excluding people who loved one another, for whatever reason. And when her stomach flipped at the thought of Dana’s smile, she wondered what it all might mean.

  Chapter Five

  Dana surveyed the tiny salon. She couldn’t find a website listing for Maria, and she didn’t know the name of the beauty shop. She’d managed to get the addresses of the two salons in St. Clair and hoped this was the right one. The floor was free of the piles of hair she’d seen in beauty shops, and the door and glass windows were devoid of fingerprints. Magazines neatly stacked on the tables in the waiting area gave the place a welcoming feel. Whoever owned this shop obviously cared about it.

  She approached the narrow counter with a green leaf design hand painted on the front and relaxed when Maria stepped through a door behind it.

  “Good morning.” Maria leaned on the counter and gave her a dazzling smile. Dana ran her hand through her hair as she sensed Maria taking in the whole of her. She struggled not to squirm under the scrutiny.

  “Good morning. I’m glad I found your place. I need a haircut and I remembered you saying you had a beauty shop.” Dana ran her other hand through her hair. Sure, she’d looked up Maria’s shop because she needed a haircut, but also because she wanted to see her again. Maybe it was her tender devotion to her dachshund or the intensity of her dark brown eyes, or that fabulous body. Whatever it was, there was something compelling about her, as if there was something she had that Dana needed.

  “Sure. Come over to my chair and we’ll talk about what you want.”

  Dana reminded herself about how she felt when someone showed up without an appointment and expected her to groom their dog. “I didn’t mean I expected you to cut it today. I can make an appointment and come back. I was on my way to pick up a couple of crates for the school. One of the breeders in Marysville is moving out of state and offered them to me. Your salon was on my way. It’s really nice, by the way.”

  “Thanks. It’s my life, well, besides my son. I don’t have another appointment due until five, so if you have time, I can give you a trim right now.”

  There was only one workstation, so Dana sat in the surprisingly comfortable styling chair. She studied the little shop from the new angle. It was classy, like its owner.

  “I’m a little bit picky about my hair. My mom calls it obsessive. I know you’re the expert, but I’m pretty conservative and I like my hair to look natural.” Fidgeting in the chair, Dana ran her right hand through her hair for the third time and continued her rambling. “I can’t be counted on to do much to my hair. If I have to fuss with it for more than five minutes, I get frustrated, but I want it to look neat. I guess I’m saying that I want it to look as good as it can without having to do much to it. Does that make sense?” Dana stopped babbling, sat still, and concentrated on Maria studying her in the mirror.

  “It makes perfect sense.” She rested her hands on Dana’s shoulders and tilted her head side to side, studying her from different angles. “You have quite a bit of hair for a blonde, poker straight, but thick. You said you like it natural. I’m assuming that means you haven’t colored it.”

  Dana had lost herself in Maria’s reflection, and apparently her power of speech. Her shoulders tingled where Maria had rested her hands, a tingle that was quickly spreading throughout her body.

  “I’ll take your silence to mean no.” Maria’s grin broke the spell, and Dana pulled herself back to attention.

  “No, sorry, no I’ve never colored my hair.”

  The sparkle in Maria’s eyes captured Dana again and tugged her back into the reflection.

  “Okay, let’s get to it. Shall I just trim and shape it a little, or do you want to go shorter? I think it would look nice in a sort of shag.” Maria was picking, fluffing, and ruffling Dana’s hair as she spoke.

  “What do you mean by sort of shag?” Dana didn’t care how captivating she was. She was not going to walk o
ut of there looking like a Chinese crested dog. She spun in the chair to be sure Maria saw her wariness. Big mistake. Now she was eye level with her breasts. She suppressed a moan.

  “I didn’t mean to scare you. You have a lovely oval-shaped face. I’d like to bring the length up to just above your collar. To here.” She swiveled Dana gently around so she again faced the mirror. She put two fingers along Dana’s neck to indicate the length, and this time Dana had to suppress the shiver that shot through her at Maria’s soft touch.

  “Then I’d thin the top a little to take off the weight and feather the sides to lie naturally, framing your face.” She looked intense now, all levity gone as she considered her work.

  “Well, it has been driving me nuts the way it flops on top.” Dana considered Maria’s suggestion while turning her head side to side and tilting it down while she pulled at her hair. She supposed it would grow out quickly enough if she didn’t like it. Maybe it was time for a change anyway. Maybe she would put her trust in the gentle hands of this brown-eyed beauty and see what came of it. And if Maria liked it…

  “All right. You trusted me with Frankie. Let’s do it.” She offered a nervous smile to the reflection in the mirror.

  *

  Maria held strands of her hair and trimmed the ends, taking off a little at a time. Dana had been cutting animal hair for years, but the times she’d attempted to cut her own hair or her mother’s turned out to be a frustrating undertaking. It was thinner than dog hair, and there was no coarse top layer. Dana could do a continental clip, including scissoring, on a clean, brushed-out standard poodle faster than most show groomers, but Maria’s speed and efficiency with scissors were impressive.

  “You’re very good.” Dana spoke quietly, not wanting to interrupt Maria’s concentration.

  To her surprise, Maria stopped mid-cut, holding threads of hair in her left hand and her scissors suspended in her right above Dana’s head. She looked directly at Dana in the mirror and her eyes grew wet.

  “Thank you. Coming from you, a professional groomer, that means a lot. I have many customers who’ve been coming to me for years. I guess they’re so used to me and the way I do their hair that they assume I know they think I’m good at what I do. It’s nice to hear once in a while.”

  Dana clasped her hands together under the faded black smock to stifle the urge to stroke Maria’s hand. The sorrow in her beautiful eyes tugged at Dana’s heart. “I think your customers wouldn’t keep coming back if you weren’t any good, but I know what you mean. I’m always grateful when the owners acknowledge the work that I put into their animals.”

  Maria resumed her snipping and shaping as she spoke. “You’re right. I’m feeling a little insecure these days. I didn’t mean to get all weepy on you. So, how many dogs do you groom in a day?”

  Dana wondered at the abrupt change of topic, but she didn’t want to embarrass her.

  “It varies. Some days we have quite a few that just need baths and nail trims. You’d be surprised how many people don’t want to put their dogs in the same bathtub they use, or the dogs just fight them the whole time. Other days we may get four or five dogs that need the works. Sometimes they come in so matted we have to shave them down completely. We have five students now, and three of them are close to graduation. If I stagger arrival times, we can do about eight dogs a day.” What Dana didn’t disclose was that the school could do that many dogs a day but the actual number they had been seeing was more like three or four. The slow economy was taking its toll on business. Many days she had to struggle to keep her students busy.

  “Huh. I was just thinking about how many clients I have. It ends up being about eight a day too. Interesting. You told me you’d been doing this since you were fifteen. Has your family owned the business all those years?”

  It was Dana’s turn to avoid the subject. She wouldn’t get into her mother’s problems, but she didn’t want to be rude, so she skirted the issue.

  “My father bred English springer spaniels, and my mom used to be a handler at the dog shows. So, let’s just say that it’s a family thing, and I love working with the dogs.”

  Dana twisted her hands in her lap. She would love to relax and tell her the whole story. To accept her comfort and support, and give Dana an alternative to her Saturday night excursions, but Maria had offered nothing except friendly conversation. She was a beautician. That’s what they did. They talked to their clients.

  “Yeah, I have family things too. I understand. Are you planning to go to the Fall Art & Craft show in Saint Clair next month? It sounds like it will be nearly as big as the art show in June, only the craft area won’t be right on the river.”

  Grateful for Maria’s sensitivity, Dana grinned before replying. “As a matter of fact, I am. I’m going to set up a booth. We’re trying to interest potential grooming students as well as make our presence known. It’s one of the biggest community events of the year, and even though we’re not technically arts or crafts, it’s good advertising for the school. Are you going to be there?”

  “I will. I make jewelry.” Maria wiggled the sparkling bracelet on her left wrist in front of Dana.

  “Beautiful,” Dana said as she gently touched the blue crystals. “So, you’re going to sell bracelets?”

  Maria laughed and Dana’s stomach flipped. Her physical reactions to Maria were making her nervous. She probably should get out of there soon, but all she wanted to do was stay.

  “I design and make bracelets, necklaces, and earrings, and sell them here and at the craft show. I have several boxes full, ready to go.”

  “Cool. I’ll have to stop by and check them out. I’ll bet my mom would love one for Christmas.”

  “Yeah, they make good gifts. I’m sure we’ll talk again. I think I’m done here. What do you think?”

  Dana had been so wrapped up in Maria, she’d almost forgotten to watch what was happening to her hair. She was pleasantly surprised when she looked in the hand mirror to check the sides and back of her head.

  “Wow. Thank you. It looks great and it feels so much better.” Dana tipped her head forward and side to side checking for errant strands. The precise, even cut looked wonderful.

  Smiling, Maria reached from behind Dana and gently touched her temple with her index finger. “A stray,” she whispered, as she swiped away a piece of hair. Heat rose up Dana’s neck at the innocent touch. Time to go. She set the hand mirror down on the narrow shelf, pulled off the smock, and intentionally stepped out of the chair on the side opposite of where Maria stood.

  “How much do I owe you for this?” she asked as she walked to the front counter.

  “Ten dollars.”

  “Only ten dollars? Are you sure? I just barged in here without an appointment, and you gave me the best haircut I’ve ever had.”

  “If I remember correctly, you did me a huge favor trimming Frankie’s nails for ten dollars. I think I’m being fair. Besides, I’ve enjoyed your company today.”

  Dana didn’t want to insult her so she gave her a ten-dollar bill, said good-bye, and headed to her vehicle. Just as she pushed the unlock button on her remote, she heard Maria call from the open salon door.

  “Jesus loves you, Dana.”

  Dana waved her thanks as she drove off. Jesus loves me? She sighed. Straight and religious. Great. Infatuated with a woman totally unavailable.

  A car pulled out of the parking lot behind her, a little too close, but it backed off quickly and she turned her attention back to thoughts of Maria.

  *

  Dana backed her SUV into the long driveway behind a huge 1930s farmhouse. Ancient oaks and willow trees filled the property surrounding the house. There was a large gray cinderblock outbuilding set about one hundred yards behind the farmhouse. Dana’s assumption that it housed the dogs was confirmed when she parked, turned off the engine, and hopped out of her Forester. From the first huge indoor dog run, four golden brown eyes focused intently on the newcomer entering their domain.

  “Damn
, I forgot how big these wolfhounds are. Hello,” she called as she entered the immaculate building. “It’s Dana from the grooming school. I’ve come to pick up some cages.”

  Within a few minutes, a young blue-eyed woman dressed in overalls and work boots appeared. Her thick curly red hair escaped the black ribbon attempting to keep it tied back. Dana noticed her solid build and muscular, tanned arms. Her freckles looked as if they’d darkened by hours in the sun. She realized she was staring and looked away.

  “I’m Dana, from Langdon’s dog grooming school.”

  The redhead moved close to take Dana’s extended hand.

  “Yeah. I knew you were coming over. I’m Renee. I came to help Uncle Pop get ready to move, don’t cha know. Come on.”

  Dana followed Renee to the pile of crates and bedding prepared for transport at the back of the building.

  “I appreciate this. We need a couple of larger cages for two Rottweilers coming in next week.”

  “You betcha. We’ve got two, for sure. Uncle Pop says we might as well let someone who needs ’em, use ’em.”

  Dana finished fitting the second large cage into the back of her SUV and turned to thank her. But Renee had gone back into the building and a tall, distinguished looking man with a peppering of gray though his thick bronze hair, stood with one hand on the door of the building.

  “Judge Wright?” Dana hadn’t seen the dog show judge since his wife of many years had died of breast cancer six months after Dana’s father was killed in a car accident. She was only seventeen, but she remembered the tight fist in her stomach as she entered the funeral home to attend Ely’s funeral. Unlike her father’s closed casket ceremony, Ely was laid out in a beautiful coffin surrounded by red roses. That was the day her excuses for her drunken mother had begun. “Mom wanted to be here, but she has a bad case of the stomach flu. She sends her condolences.”