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Lost Nowhere: A journey of self-discovery in a fantasy world

Page 14

by Phoebe Garnsworthy


  As Karisma spoke, a great red-belly black snake slithered along near where they were sitting. It rubbed its skin against the edges of the crystal circle, as though it were scratching an itch, and a layer of skin peeled off. It happened too quickly for Lily to be alarmed, and the fear inside her had no time to brew.

  “How do you mean? Aren’t my thoughts my reality?” Lily fiddled with the edge of her red lace dress as she questioned Karisma again, pressing the fabric between her fingers to comfort her. She liked to focus on the stitching when she wanted to listen carefully to what someone was saying. It deterred her mind from side-tracking, although she didn’t seem to have that problem in this world.

  “Your reality is the repercussion of your thoughts. It’s how you interpret your circumstances that determines the way your thoughts will play out. Any incident can be bad or good; it depends on what you choose.”

  Lily sat up and stared at Karisma, confused. Sure, she could understand that if she imagined the crystals to be, say sucking candy or something delicious she could tolerate the object, but… And just as she thought of it, the crystals transformed into the most decadent looking cubes of caramel-striped treats she had ever seen. The edges of the square had crystalized tips and they had a lovely stripe down the middle that looked like creamy chocolate. She blinked twice and they had changed back into the black obsidian crystals again. She picked one up just to be sure. They weighed heavy—a mix of smooth and roughness to touch. Lily moved the crystal back into her mouth, but just moments before she placed it inside, it turned into the caramel-looking treat again. Inside her mouth, the crystal felt like it was exploding inside of her. She spat it out again.

  “I can’t do it! I had no idea crystals had such power.”

  “You can,” Karisma spoke sternly. “Let’s look at it this way. It is just an object, and it is only thoughts. They are two separate identities. Your rejection to the object, which is your thoughts, is your reality. You are ultimately rejecting change, but there is nothing to be feared from change. Just surrender to it.”

  Lily listened to Karisma’s words of wisdom but somehow they hinted at her to apply them to other aspects of her life, not just the exercise they were trying to conquer. She had often rejected change in her life (the new house), making it difficult for those around her (her father), but most importantly, (herself). If it wasn’t for moving to the new house she would never had discovered such a world existed. She would never have been able to meet such interesting characters, or more importantly, understand what it meant to know herself. Everything that she was experiencing was confronting her with situations and circumstances that were helping to shape her into a woman, and for the first time, she was grateful for all the hardship, all the fear that kept pushing her to seek clarity and happiness.

  Karisma stood up and picked some furry leaves from a plant that was growing nearby. In one hand, she pulled out a thin crystal rock and held it over it, ensuring the sunlight above was directly present. She blew gently on the leaves and slowly it started to smoke, emitting a pleasant aroma of eucalyptus. Karisma stood up and circled around Lily. She held it high and lowered it again, all the while humming a sweet-sounding lullaby. Lily closed her eyes and breathed deeply, enjoying the smell of burning incense and the sound of wildlife all around. She could hear the stream trickling over little pockets of bunched up rocks, the insects buzzed as they were talking to one another and the birds chirped, singing with praise for yet another beautiful day. She wondered for a moment how was it that she could feel so at home, yet was lost in another world, far, far away.

  “I think you are beginning to see the way things work around here,” Karisma spoke, as she extinguished the smoking leaf. “Aside from teleporting to another land, we can also become invisible.”

  “How do we become invisible?”

  “We move our consciousness to an alternate universe.”

  Karisma picked up the snakeskin that had been shed and patted her fingers over the skin gently. She wrinkled her nose as though deep in thought and handed it to Lily.

  “Is that what happened when I came into this world? I teleported to an alternate universe?” Lily asked as Karisma picked up four black obsidian crystals and placed them evenly around the circle.

  “Lily, you never arrived, you’ve been here all along.”

  A twinkle in Karisma’s eyes flashed with a red fire gleam and she sat back down opposite Lily. She smiled with amusement to herself as she combed her hair back behind her ears, displaying the ruby ring on her finger.

  “Are you ready?”

  Lily nodded.

  “For the spell of invisibility we must hold two crystals, one in each hand,” Karisma said as she folded two black obsidian crystals into Lily’s palms as well as her own. “And we close our eyes and allow the darkness to overtake our body. Feel the weight of the shadows fall on your shoulders, and understand that black is merely the absence of light.”

  Lily could feel a cool breeze blow through the curls in her hair as she inhaled deeply and closed her eyes. The smell of incense was still lingering, although the sound of nature was blending into a long, humming noise.

  “Keep the mind strong,” she continued. “Watch it consume you but do not allow it inside. Now, listen and repeat this sentence with me, three times.”

  “Sa Neo I, lo las, we, rah tend, kis, es, nid.”

  “Sa Neo I, lo las, we, rah tend, kis, es, nid.”

  “Sa Neo I, lo las, we, rah tend, kis, es, nid.”

  Lily repeated the words mechanically. They did not sound separate to her anymore and instead extracted from her mouth in a long extended song. The vibration of sound echoed through her body from the crown of her head down through to her feet, and it bounced back up again, like an internal light that was playfully jumping from one end to the other. It shook her greatly to the core, and she felt like she looked like the tongue of a bell, the vibration resonating long after the music had finished.

  “Open your eyes.”

  Lily lifted her eyelids in a daze, hearing the familiarity of Karisma speaking to her, yet unable to see anyone around. The trees, grass, and the circle of crystals were still visible, but when Lily looked down, her body had disappeared as well.

  “It worked!” Lily shrieked with excitement, although her voice came through distorted.

  “Yes, fantastic Lily!” She could hear Karisma’s voice directly opposite her. “Now, to remove the darkness, saturate your thoughts with light. Envision something that you love and allow your body to warm up to that love. Believe you deserve it. See love, and pure white light, imagine it all around you.”

  Lily thought of Father back home. But this time she saw her mother too. And she imagined her father holding her mother and her mother holding her baby, Lily. It was a story that Father used to tell Lily as she fell asleep. How the three of them would hold each other in harmony, saying no words to each other, just sitting together in silence, loving one another just as they are.

  And slowly, she faintly saw the outline of her own body, and the tiny particles of vibrating energy came into play, and there she was once more, in her body. But before she opened her eyes, she had a vision.

  She was staring at a giant crystal ball fountain, full to the brim of water, and wishing for it to break. She felt trapped staring at the enclosure, struggling to be free. Yet she was not inside, nor could see anything. She just felt fear.

  “You performed that beautifully, Lily, I am very impressed,” Karisma’s voice interrupted the vision and Lily opened her eyes.

  “Thank you,” she replied, still disoriented from the confined feeling of what she had seen. The image of the fountain had disappeared but the memory how she felt had lived on, not to be forgotten.

  “Karisma…” Lily looked down shyly, eager to share her innermost thoughts, but terrified of being rejected by her friend.

  She had often seen visions like this before, sometimes people, faces, or situations. She would often be able to recognize the
people, however they had changed dramatically to what she knew them as, and so she asked herself whether they really were the same person. But this vision was a feeling, an emotion. That idea was new to her. She was terrified to speak of it, but her heart told her to trust. “Sometimes I see things,” she confided.

  Lily waited for Karisma to laugh, but she didn’t. There was no judgment in her eyes, or smirk beneath her smile, and instead, Lily felt like she was genuinely interested.

  “What kind of things?” she asked, raising her eyebrows gently.

  “Like, just now after we were invisible, I saw a giant crystal ball fountain and I felt trapped.” Lily could feel her distress overtake her senses once more, and although she knew she was in the open field surrounded with nature, she felt her throat tighten, and her body freeze. She looked to the sky for reassurance, remembering it wasn't real.

  “The crystal ball fountain sounds like Jade’s castle,” Karisma said. “But feeling trapped… perhaps you are unsure you are able to leave? But Lily, you can leave Jade’s whenever you like. You are never trapped anywhere. Understand?”

  Karisma shook Lily by the knees, as though embedding the information into her head. Lily hadn’t been nervous to visit Jade. After all, everyone she had met so far in Sa Neo had been so lovely and friendly. But, something was telling her to be cautious.

  “Yes, I understand. But Karisma…” Her words faded away again. This time she wasn’t scared of the unknown, it was more so knowing when to trust herself.

  “How do I know when it’s the right time to leave?”

  Karisma packed up the crystals in her bag, as Lily mimicked her actions.

  “Your heart will tell you what the answer is,” Karisma replied, directing the two back on the path to her home. “And if you cannot decide, then don't decide. It is simply not the right time to make that decision.”

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  JADE & THE LAND OF TEHAR

  Lily had been summoned and she needed to go. It was important for her to arrive at the land of Tehar by herself, she was told. You have entered this world on your own, and you must learn to journey on your own, she heard a voice inside her say. She left Karisma’s nest of safety for the unknown on the verge of the night, but there was no fear inside of her. Something was guiding her, and something was protecting her. Maybe it was her new connection with her crystals, and she could feel their energy encourage her. Or perhaps it was the lessons and teachings she had learned from Karisma. Lily could still hear her voice, and feel her gentle, motherly nature as she walked along the red-pebbled path. On the ground the marble swirls illuminated underneath her footsteps. They could sense the pressure of her foot well before it touched the surface, reminding her of her entry into this magical place. And she wondered how her father was, hoping he wasn’t worried where she was. I am safe Papa! she whispered into the air.

  With each step of the way Lily reflected on the world of Sa Neo that she had encountered so far. Jacques, who embraced his fun-loving zest for life; Karisma, who was more of a mother figure than she had ever had before; and Crysanthe, a true angel of whom she bonded with completely on her own. She wondered if her new friends thought about her too.

  To the shining water she found herself once more. The beaming moons and glowing stars whispered soft hellos as they followed her dance, shining brightly, drawing her closer to the garnet sparkling shore. The sea shimmered in a monochrome of red hues, clearly defining the ever-changing patterns as the water melted into the sky, marking the horizon. This was the first time that she would be teleporting to another land by herself. She needed to believe in herself; no one else would ever give as much strength as she could. There was no turning back now. She sat down, cross-legged with her back straight up and tall. She closed her eyes, imagining the crown of her head touching the sky.

  Never before had she sat cross-legged on the ground and felt so grand. She felt as though she were the connecting force between the ground and the sky, as though a light shone through from the heavens above. It pulsated through her, and united her with the ground. She was preparing her mind and her body to tedimeta.

  The sound of waves crashing consumed her ears with a therapeutic buzzing noise. She cleared her mind and envisioned a light pouring out from the top of her head that spun turbulently around like a vortex. The sound and imagery of tiny particles circling sounded like white noise, and it threw her mind into mush. It was so overpowering she couldn’t think, she was just still. She watched the theater of bright lights and sound play out in front of her with no questioning. Her eyes began to move higher and higher inside her head, so far up that she almost felt dizzy and quite nauseous. Too chaotic the movements grew, she had to open her eyes, with fear of falling over. But when her eyes opened, she realized she was there. It had happened. She was on the green-pebbled shores of Tehar.

  The dark green crystals were dense with color, and they looked like a raindrop of thick green paint, splattered on the ground with dark convoluted swirls continuously twirling. The temperature felt significantly cooler and she only just now realized that she needed something warmer to wear. Just as she thought about needing warmer clothes, the fabric of her dress grew in thickness, and she now wore a woolen dress to cover her milky skin. The layout of Tehar beach was more tropical in contrast to Otor. It had low dipping palm and coconut trees, which lined the edge of where the water greeted the forest.

  Lily turned to her right and followed the palm trees as they grew in density. She had no idea why she turned right instead of left—she hadn’t been told to, but she knew better by now than to question those decisions that came without thinking. And before she knew it, she was standing in front of a large open field with a square sign saying, ‘Queen Jade’s Palace’ written in thick green malachite crystals.

  The field was covered in a mossy green grain-like sand, carefully laid out as though it had been crumbled down to finite pieces and shaken over the ground. Individually the particles of sand were almost insignificant, but altogether, they held the power to suffocate, Lily thought.

  In the center of the field sat a large crystal ball fountain. Although the elegant structure looked nothing like Lily’s ouroboros necklace, she had the urge to connect the two together somehow. The way the water trickled delicately over the sphere, down to the ground, and back around, it circled inside and out, over and over again, never-ending— like the ouroboros.

  The palace behind was a typically formed castle, with large towers at each end, and a rectangular base. It was painted in a very faint pink with glistening green diamond-shaped crystals covered from top to bottom, it tied in nicely with the colors of the sign. Jade’s castle was exactly how Lily imagined a queen to live; her gardens were immaculately pruned, perfectly kept with an unbelievable display of pink and green-colored flowers. It was an extensive display of flora and fauna in exotic breeds of endless shapes and sizes that grew short and tall along the towers. Each color varied in shades and textures, scaling from soft pale pinky-white to a fiery magenta red. There was pink/orange, a pink/yellow, and as strange as it would be to see, there was a pink and blue flower, and the strangest of them all, a dark black rose with violent hot pink streaks shaped like a tiger’s face which guarded the entry door.

  The pristine presentation of the castle and surrounding grounds were the complete opposite of Karisma’s humble way of life, and Lily felt a pang of nerves swimming around in her tummy, cautious to be included in such royal affairs. Lucky she had been invited, or Lily would have felt quite intimidated and probably would have turned around and been on her way home by now. But she had grown older in the last few days from conversing with the Sa Neo folk, and now it seemed as though any suggestion of worries faded quickly from her mind, forgotten without a trace.

  As she paced closer to the castle gates, she could hear beautiful music drift through the walls from the other side of the grounds, from behind the castle, or perhaps it was from the front, depending on how you looked at it. The music was a merry
humming of what sounded like a ukulele or some form of string guitar. It reminded Lily that she also once played a musical instrument when she was a child, and loved it so. But when she was nine, a little boy teased her for playing it, and the flute now stood in a sealed-up box, somewhere in their storage. Upon hearing the musical notes once again, Lily could predict exactly each chord as though it were only yesterday.

  As she poked one eye around the corner of the castle she was immediately bedazzled from such a sight. Gigantic chandeliers swung around from the trees above, glittering down like a rainbow waterfall above the women and men who dined below. A ukulele guitar was being played by a short dwarf girl. She had pixie pointed ears and swayed with her music, keeping the beat with a tapping foot as a small crowd danced joyously in front. A circle-shaped picnic blanket encased with crystal tassels held children squealing and playing, while eating yummy treats on little round plates. Behind the children’s playground, sat upside down pyramid tables and matching smaller triangle seats that were full of men and women dining merrily. Lily thought her peeking eye was subtle, but it seemed to have caught the attention of a gnome who was standing guard in the garden to her left.

  “Can I help you there?” said the gnome as he marched up to Lily, wearing a matching one-piece suit in a dark forest green with pale pink woolen gloves. His proud display of uniform and polite tone gave Lily the impression that he took his job very seriously.

  “I’m looking for Queen Jade,” Lily replied, her voice a bit rocky from a nervous twitch kicking in.

  “Well don’t be frightened there, come with me,” the gnome said as he waddled his head and leapt out of the garden, charging forth, ensuring that Lily followed.

  For a little man he walked quite briskly, and just as well, for as they walked through the center of the party the crowd all stopped and stared. The gnome took no notice and continued to march proudly toward the tallest lady in the room. Queen Jade. The queen’s pale pink hair matched the color of the castle, and she wore it fastened high in a tight French twist bun, secured with a green crystal butterfly clip. She was dressed in a dark emerald green fine lace stitch dress with a high collared neck and little cap sleeves. A chain of gold rings that joined to a bracelet continued up along the arm to the elbow and created a beautiful gold pattern that looked like chained gloves. It glistened in the sun with miniature crystals.

 

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