Savory Deceits

by Heart, Skye

  “Oh, yeah. They’re not together, and Chris wants to keep it that way.” Tony explained, taking a helping of eggs into his mouth.

  “Oh?” I said, and looked away.

  “I mean you have to admit,” Tony began, then pausing, to take a big gulp of orange juice. “Naima's put that man through a lot these past few years. She can't expect to just walk back into his life, as if nothing happened.” He explained, and then paused again, to eat some more eggs. “It doesn’t work like that, and I can’t say I blame him for not wanting her back.” He finished, taking another sip of his juice.

  “Yeah, but everybody makes mistakes. It is whether you have learned from those mistakes, that matters and I think Nai has learned from hers. That is why she came back. She loves him.” I said, in my sister’s defense.

  “Yeah well, sometimes love's not enough. I will talk to him though, but right now, I want to focus on my wife.” Tony said, setting the tray, with the now empty plate, aside. He then pulled me to him, and sat me on his lap.

  “You're so beautiful.” He said to me. I flushed, and he smiled.

  “Thank you.” I replied. Tony fingered my hair, and pushed it away from my face. Then, suddenly, I flashed back to the night Chris did that very thing, right before he kissed me.

  “You okay?” Tony asked when I tensed.

  “Yes.” I said, faking a smile. He looked at me for a moment, and I avoided his eyes. He then touched my hair again, and lowered his hands down to my breasts. Then, I thought of the way Chris’ mouth felt, where Tony’s hands now were, biting my nipples, as I came like a tidal wave crashing to shore.

  “I want you to have my baby.” Tony finally said. His request surprised me, bringing me back to reality.

  “What?” I said, now looking at him.

  “I've been thinking about this since deployment. The more I thought about it, the more I wanted one. I love you Nena, and I want us to start a family; if we haven't already.” He said, placing his hand on my stomach, and I laughed.

  “Where is this coming from?” I asked, getting serious.

  “It’s coming from your husband, who loves you more than anything in this world.” He said, looking into my eyes. Then, I thought for a moment. A baby? My heart said yes, but my head said no.

  9

  “Hey, it's about time girl. I was beginning to think that you weren't going to show.” Naima said, rising from the table. I greeted her with a hug, and took a seat across the table from her. Since Tony has been back, I have been using him to avoid my sister. I eventually began to feel guilty about it, and asked her to meet me for brunch, at one of our favorite coffee shops in the city. Café Mocha, known for its famous Vanilla Crème Espressos, was the hottest spot in town. Besides their amazing lattes, I loved the friendly atmosphere that surrounded the quaint little café. An amenity that most people enjoyed about Café Mocha, especially during the summertime, was a majestic outdoor dining area, with large colorful beach umbrellas attached to each table. With all the birds chirping, and butterflies in the air, dining outside gave me a sense of peace, and tranquility.

  “Are you two ready to order?” A server asked when she approached our table.

  “I'll have a frozen vanilla latte please.” Naima said.

  “Um, can I have a glass of water please?” I asked.

  “Sure. I have one frozen vanilla latte, and a glass of water coming right up.” The server said before making her way to another table.

  “Glass of water?” Naima asked me quizzically. “I know how much you love this place, and their espressos. I expected you to order half of what's on that menu.” She finished with a chuckle, and I smiled.

  “I'm just not in a coffee mood right now.” I said.

  “So you mean to tell me that you came all the way out here, just to drink water? C'mon, I am sure you have plenty of water at home. So what's up?” She asked me.

  “Okay,” I began with a sigh. “It's just that I haven't really been a good sister to you the past couple months, since Tony got back from deployment. I know we haven’t spent as much time as we should together, with your working, and my going to school.” I explained.

  “It’s all right hon. If anything, I'm really happy for you. You have your husband back, and everything seems to be going great for you two.” She gave me an encouraging smile, and I felt bad.

  “But you haven't been back to the house since Tony came back. I wondered if you were mad at me or something.” I said phishing.

  “Hello? Tony has been gone for six months, and now he is back. Surely, you did not expect me to hang around while you two got it on, did you?” She said, scrunching up her face, and I laughed.

  “Well, okay, I see your point. So what has been going on with you? Tony told me that you were no longer at Chris’ place. Where’ve you been staying?” I asked her.

  “The Marriot. I took my boss up on her original offer, to put me in a hotel, during my stay here.” She explained.

  “Aw hon,” I felt terrible.

  “I’m fine really. Granted, I would much rather be at Chris’, but he needs time, and I’m willing to give him that.” Naima said hopeful.

  “Time for what?” I asked her.

  “Time to figure out what he wants. My coming here was good at first, but things started to move a little fast for him, and I totally understand where he’s coming from.” She explained.

  “So you two have talked about this?” I asked her.

  “Yes, and we’ve agreed to take things slow.” Naima said. I nodded, trying to shield my guilt. Just then, the server returned with our orders.

  “Can I get you ladies anything else?” She asked.

  “Um, yes she,” Naima said with a nod in my direction, “would like a Vanilla Crème Espresso please. Thanks.” She told the server with a smile.

  “Gee, thanks.” I said a little annoyed at her mothering. Naima sipped her latte, and sat back in her chair, staring at nothing.

  “What is it?” I asked her.

  “I really miss him.” She replied, twirling the straw inside the thick creamy liquid. Now, I looked away ashamed. “I miss the way he used to hold me, telling me how much he loved me. I still remember our first kiss.” She said reminiscing. I felt a knot in my stomach, as I watched my sister, dreamily talk about the love of her life. Fortunately, I have been avoiding Chris as well, since Tony’s return. However, I still could not erase the memory of the night we made love. I hated myself, because I enjoyed every minute of it. The way he touched me, the places he kissed me, and the way his big strong rod explored my insides. The tight spot, at the pit of my stomach, started turning once more, at the thought of him. Naima was speaking again, but I did not know what she was saying.

  “I'm sorry. What was that?” I asked her, coming out of my daydream. Then, she rolled her eyes at me.

  “I said, what is up with you and Chris? Did you two have a fight or something? It’s like you two barely talk to each other anymore. What gives?” She asked me.

  “I’m not sure what you mean?” I said, trying to figure out what to say next.

  “You and Chris have always been good friends, real close even, but now you two seem so distant. What happened?” She asked again, genuinely concerned. I opened my mouth, with nothing to say. I did not want to say the wrong thing, which was the truth, but I also did not want to keep lying to her. It was emotionally killing me. The guilt I felt started to eat away at me. I loved Naima very much, and I could not bear the thought of losing her as a sister, and best friend. I am sure her questions about Chris were purely innocent, but my guilty conscience made me think otherwise. I felt terrible about deceiving her. In addition, I did not know how long I would be able to keep this up, before the truth eventually came out. I have always believed in karma, and that whatever took place in the dark, always becomes known. Now, looking into Naima's eyes, which were obviously full of unanswered questions, tripled the disgrace that I felt. My heart began to race, and suddenly I felt sick to my stomach. The knot that I
felt earlier began to tighten. I was scared, and I felt overwhelmingly distressed, which made my stomach turn. I pushed my chair back and stood, praying that the room would stop spinning.

  “Are you okay?” I heard Naima say. Before I could answer, everything around me suddenly went black. Then, a loud thud followed. My head ached. Off in the distance, I could hear scrambling feet around me, but I could not see who, or where they were coming from.

  “Oh my God! Someone call 911!” I heard Naima cry. “Nena can you hear me? Please Nena. Wake up.” Despite her desperate pleas, her words started drifting away. The voices around me grew very faint, and then I heard nothing at all.

  Sometime later, I awoke to unfamiliar surroundings, and felt the pressure pains of a migraine, on the side of my head. I rubbed my temple, as everything around me became clearer. The shiny floor, the drawn curtain off to my right, and the small TV that hung from the ceiling, was enough to tell me where I was. I sighed, because I hated hospitals.

  “Hey, you're up.” Someone said from behind the curtain. A woman, dressed in Betty Boo hospital scrubs stepped into view, drawing the curtain back a little. “Hi. I'm Nurse Cathy. How are you feeling?” She asked, lifting my wrist to check my pulse.

  “I have a really bad headache.” I told her.

  “Well, that’s a common after affect. It should go away in a little while.” The nurse said politely.

  “After affect? Of what? What do you mean? Why am I here?” I asked all at once.

  “I'll have your doctor come in here, and she can answer any questions that you may have, okay? I'll be right back.” She jotted down a few things, on what I assumed was my chart, before turning to leave. I watched her exit, and that is when I noticed Naima curled up on a chair, in the corner across the room sleeping. I smiled, grateful to see a familiar face. With that thought, Naima stirred, and opened her eyes.

  “Hey sis, how're you feeling?” She asked yawning.

  “I'm okay. Just have a little headache. What time is it? How long have you been here?” I asked her.

  “Just as long as you have, I never left.” She said, walking over to join me on the bed.

  “Thanks sis. What happened?” I asked my memory still foggy.

  “You passed out hon,” she said rubbing my back.

  “What? How…?” I began, in a panic.

  “Well, that's the thing. I don't know yet, but hopefully the doctor should be here any minute to tell you. I can go find out where she is if you’d like.” She offered.

  “No, that's okay. The nurse went to get her already.” I replied not wanting to be alone.

  “Do you remember anything?” Naima asked me.

  “Barely,” I replied, feeling my head begin to pound even more now.

  “It's okay hon, just relax. We'll know more when the doctor gets here.” She said finger combing my hair, brushing it back. Just then, a short, middle-aged woman, dressed in a white lab coat entered the room.

  "Well, hello there. I'm Doctor Coney. How are you feeling?" She asked me. I let out a deep breath, relieved.

  “I'm feeling better, but this headache is starting to get to me though.” I said frustrated.

  “Well, that's understandable. You took quite a fall, which gave you a slight concussion. What's the last thing you remember Mrs. Skye?” She asked prepared to take notes, the same way that nurse did earlier.

  “Um, it's all a little fuzzy. I remember being at the café, talking to my sister, but that's about It.” I explained, wondering what could be wrong with me.

  “Do you remember what you two were talking about?” She asked me.

  “Um, I'm not sure. Her boyfriend, I think. Why is this relevant?” I asked. The doctor glanced at Naima, and then looked back at me.

  “Well, Mrs. Skye, you had a panic attack. That is probably why you collapsed. Did your heart feel as though it were thumping a hundred beats per minute?” She asked me.

  “Yeah, it kind of did.” I admitted, looking down, suddenly feeling uncomfortable. As if she read my mind, the doctor said, “Maybe we should talk in private for a while Mrs. Skye, if that's okay with you?”

  “Um, sure I guess,” I said, and then turned to Naima. “Do you mind?” I asked her.

  “No, not at all,” she said getting up. “I'm going to go call the guys. They were worried about you. You know Tony had duty, so he couldn't come, but I'll let him know that you're okay.” Naima said with a smile, and then walked out of the room.

  “Is there something wrong with me?” I asked, as soon as we were alone.

  “Well, that depends.” The doctor replied, looking at me intently.

  “On what?” I asked, sitting straight up.

  “On how you're going to take the news I'm about to give you. You're pregnant Mrs. Skye.” My jaw dropped.

  “What?” I asked stunned.

  “Pregnant,” she repeated. “Have you been feeling a little sick lately?” She asked, jotting down some more notes.

  “Um yeah, like right before I blacked out, I felt nauseous and a little dizzy.” I explained remembering.

  “Well, that explains it. I take it this is not good news for you?” She asked, studying my face.

  “No, it's not that. I'm just a little surprised that's all.” I replied, feeling my heart begin to race again.

  “How far along am I?” I reluctantly asked.

  “Just about six weeks. The first trimester is usually the most critical part of pregnancy, and that is why you have to take better care of yourself. Your blood pressure is a little high, so the less stress you have, the better it would be for you and your baby. You need to schedule an appointment with an OBGYN through your insurance provider. In the meantime, I want you to take these once a day, preferably in the mornings, okay?” The doctor said, reaching into her coat pocket, and then handing me a large bottle of pills.

  “What are these?” I asked, without reading the label.

  “Prenatal vitamins. They provide the necessary vitamins and nutrients to your baby, but you still have to eat right, so you can have a healthy pregnancy. Is there anything else you want to know or ask?”

  “No.” I replied.

  “Okay then. Well, I'll go tell your sister she can come back in, and then I'll go get your discharge papers okay. Good luck.” The doctor said, and then left the room. I sighed, and closed my eyes, willing the tears I felt away. This should be one of the happiest moments in my life. I was happily married and my husband, whom I loved dearly, wanted a baby. Yet even so, the feeling of uneasiness plagued me instead. Suddenly, the thought of Chris, and that one night of passion, surfaced in my head. Once again, visions of the way he touched me, and the way he kissed me filled my mind’s eye. It seemed like a long time had passed since then, but the memory of the way he felt inside me remained. Then, it suddenly dawned on me; that one night of passion. The more I thought about it, the more I began to worry with the realization of the impossible. I mentally tried to count back the days leading to that night.

  “No. It can't be. He can't be…” I began to say to myself, before the door to the hospital room swung open.

  “Hey girl, is everything okay? What did the doctor say?” Naima asked me.

  “Oh, nothing really,” I lied, “just that I’m stressed, and needed to relax more.” I said, slowly pushing the bottle of prenatal pills under the blanket, out of her view. Then, Naima came and sat next to me on the bed.

  “Oh? Is that it? And she couldn't tell you that in front of me?” She asked frowning.

  “You know doctors. It is part of their job to keep their patient's information confidential. Anyway, it is no big deal, though. I'm fine.” I lied again.

  “Well, as long as you’re okay. You gave me quite a scare there girl. I almost freaked when you went down like that.” She said, recalling the last few hours.

  “I know, and I'm sorry I scared you. I even scared myself. Nothing like that has ever happened to me before.” I said truthfully.

  “Speaking of which; why did it
happen? I mean, the doctor said you had a panic attack, right? Why, what caused it? Was it something I said or did?” She asked concerned.

  “Oh no hon, not at all, it's just that…I don't know…I guess I've been under a lot of stress lately that's all.” I replied. Naima looked confused.

  “Stress? Why? Is everything okay with you and Tony?” She asked me.

  “No. Everything is fine. Look, I am fine now, so there is no need for you to worry, okay. I just want to get out of here. I'm okay, really.” I assured her.

  “Well, okay if you say so.” Naima said, not convinced.

  That night, as I lay awake in bed unable to sleep, I kept thinking about the doctor's words. 'You're pregnant.' Maybe there was a mistake with the test results. Maybe I was not pregnant. After all, doctors do make mistakes, lots of them, and this could be one of them. However, in likeness to the doctor's words, I knew deep down inside that, her diagnosis was right. I was pregnant. I suspected as much the past week or so when my nausea started, but I was too in denial then, and maybe even now. I suppose I would have been very happy if I knew, without any doubt, that the baby I am carrying was Tony's, but I did not. That is what scared me the most, the possibility of Chris being the father. Lord I hope and pray that he is not. Tony and Naima mean so much to me, and I cannot bear the thought of losing them both. Moreover, keeping Chris in the dark about this was not an option either. That is, if the baby turned out to be his. He would want to, not just be there for his child, but be a father to it as well. Where will that put Tony and I, or even Naima and Chris? Our lives would implode, and I could not let that happen. No, I would not let that happen. On that occasion, thoughts of how wonderful Tony has been to me lately ran through my mind. He has been such a sweetheart, since he got back. He always called me his queen, and is now treating me like one too. For the first time, since we have been together, I started to feel secure with him. He is always talking about how much he wants a baby, rubbing my stomach, hopeful that he had finally put, as he like to say, ‘a bun in the oven.’