Love's Wall

by Karen Deen

  I should drink it. To this day, that is how I drink my coffee.

  I waited until she finished her shift and then walked her home. I knew I couldn’t walk away from her that day without securing a date with her. Zach, I was exactly the same with your Mom. I wanted to protect her and keep her safe from that first time I saw her. I wanted to be her man, but I just had to convince her that was what was going to happen. I have raised all you boys to be the same kind of men. We are alpha males in that we want to take control but only to keep them safe and happy. That is what I call love. I will never regret that day in the coffee shop and I think you need to embrace what you are feeling. I know something happened with Christina that really hurt you, but just remember - Emily is different. You already know that because you have just told me that. Don’t get caught up in keeping Emily at a distance because of the fear of the hurt. I can’t guarantee you won’t get hurt, but what I can guarantee is that, if you take that chance, you will never look back wondering what could have been.”

  This was a part of my Dad I wasn’t used to seeing. He was the “Gruff” man who always looked after us and demanded respect as we grew up. Mom was always our emotional support. He was always there but never really showed his emotional side. He was opening up to me here and I loved and respected him so much for trying to help me through my feelings.

  Leaving me, Dad embraced me tightly in a hug, patted me three times and told me to think hard but to follow my heart. It wouldn’t do me wrong.

  The lunch with my Dad was really important in my thought process. I sat on the balcony replaying all the advice he had given me. Could I trust myself to take that leap into the unknown and then trust Emily that she would love me the way I am? With my defects but more love than I knew how to handle for her and the twins. I would take her, Sophia and Samuel and they would never know fear in their lives, only the love of family and security.

  I knew now in my heart what I wanted and I couldn’t wait to get on the plane home to see Emily so we could have that talk we have been needing for a while. Maybe I could get Mom to babysit the kids so I could take Emily out for the night, so we could have time alone? Time where there would be no interruptions from a little boy who seemed to always have impeccable timing.

  The alarm on my phone told me it was time to leave and pick up Alesha from the airport. I didn’t want to be late, it was one of the things I really hated. I would never leave one of my sisters waiting on their own in an airport. They were both independent women, but they shouldn’t have to be if I was around.

  I could see the plane had landed and the people were now shuffling out through the gate. Alesha was not one to push her way through the crowd so would be in the last group I was sure. I stood leaning against a pole just watching the looks on people’s faces. You could see the ones who were in a hurry and had places to be. Others were tired, and some ran into the arms of loved ones. There were tourists who had that look of wonderment towards their new surroundings. Kids full of excitement from their ride on a plane. Then there was Emily looking as beautiful as ever…what the hell? I blinked and took a double take as I looked at a scared Emily slowly come through the gate looking around for someone to rescue her. Her eyes locked on me and she stopped. Slowly, that beautiful smile crept up her face. My heart jumped at the sight of her. My feet were already moving and when I reached her, I picked her up and whirled her around.

  “I am so confused but so happy right now. What are you doing here, where is Alesha and why do I suspect Lilly has something to do with this?”

  And there it was, that beautiful giggle. “Well, you would be right about your sister. When I arrived home from school, I was ambushed by your family, packed up and shipped out.”

  “Wait, where are the kids? Are they with Mom and Dad still?”

  “Yes, and that was the hardest thing I have ever done. I have never left them, Zach, and I am really struggling with it.” Tears were in her eyes. My head had finally woken up and it was time to take that control my Dad had talked about.

  “They will be fine, Emily, but let’s get your bag and then we can give them a call and you can check on them. How does that sound?” I felt her relax a little bit at the thought of talking to the twins. I took her by the hand and lead her to the carousel to grab her bag. Once we got to the car, I opened the door.

  “Your chariot awaits, Princess Emily. We will head back to the motel and then you can fill me in on what the hell is going on. In the meantime, jump in and I will call home. You can talk to the kids and tell them about the plane.”

  We drove through the traffic into the city while Emily chatted away to the kids. My Mom got on the phone to reassure Emily that they were fine. I guessed she then asked about my reaction and Emily blushed a little, telling her that it was fine, and I seemed happy to see her. I yelled through the phone that all the girls in my family had some explaining to do, but that it was okay, I still loved them. I could hear my Mom burst out laughing. Yes, I loved my family.

  When we arrived in the room, Emily was very quiet and shy. She wasn’t able to look up into my eyes. I could tell she was very nervous. She had taken the leap off the cliff, I knew I now had to take that leap too. I had to let her know how I felt about her and what I wanted. Like Dad said, I had to have no regrets to look back on and wonder what could have been.

  I looked at the time on my watch and realized there wasn’t much time before we needed to leave for the ceremony. I needed to at least put Emily at ease, so we could enjoy the night. Then we could come back to sit and talk out what we needed to know from each other. Tonight, was going to be amazing, but very long. Emotions would be on a high, but it was time.

  “Em, I know we have a lot to talk about. It is definitely time for this discussion, however we need to get ready to leave for the awards. Just know that I am so over the moon you are here, and it is like the sun has just got a whole lot brighter. We need to relax and enjoy the night and then we can come back here and have that talk. The fact that you are here and that I can’t stop smiling, means it is not going to be a discussion you need to fear.”

  I took her in my arms and felt her heart beating strong against my chest. If it was like mine, it was from both nerves and a hell of a lot of excitement.

  “Um, Zach, I don’t have anything to wear. The girls said something would be delivered. I don’t know what is going on.”

  “Never underestimate the power of my sisters and their scheming. There was a garment bag delivered earlier for Alesha which I hung up in the other bedroom, but I guess that is for you. I have a feeling I am going to owe them big time for this weekend. Knowing Lilly, she will make sure she takes every opportunity to remind me of it, too. I will take your bag in there and leave you to get yourself all frocked up while I shower and change. If there are any problems with the clothes, just sing out and we will sort something out. Just relax, Em. We are going to have a really great night.”

  I turned to walk out of the room.

  19

  Emily

  “ZACH.” HE STOPPED in his tracks and turned to look at me. “I am really glad I am here too.”

  He smiled the biggest smile I had seen on him then turned and closed the door. I stood in the middle of a gorgeous room that just oozed elegance. I had never stayed anywhere so luxurious. Actually, besides the cottage, this would be the best place I had slept in my whole life. Zach lived a very different life to me, but I wasn’t going to let that scare me tonight. Tonight, I was finally going to tell Zach how I felt and hope that he was going to drop his wall and let his feelings for me out too.

  Hanging on the rack was a large garment bag. I slowly opened it. Gasping as I continued to pull down the zipper, I saw a stunning red-full length dress. It was soft silk and had a sweetheart neckline to sit on my chest that would hopefully keep my breasts contained. It was simple but elegant. I hoped it fit once I put it on. I lifted it from the bag to hold it against me in the mirror. Down the sides of the skirt were splits that were going to s
how off my legs as I walked. It had been a very long time since I tried to dress to impress anyone. Tonight, I didn’t want to just impress Zach, I wanted to make him want me. More than just a friend. I was pretty sure Lilly picked this dress with that in mind. In the bottom of the bag were two boxes. The first I opened contained a pair of silver sparkling strappy sandals. I hoped I didn’t fall over in them just trying to walk. The next box I opened had a necklace and earrings that were sparkling like diamonds. I hoped they were just costume jewelry, otherwise I couldn’t possibly wear them. What if I broke it or lost them? I was so overwhelmed, I needed to talk to the girls to thank them.

  “Why are you wasting time calling us, have you banged him yet?” I heard Alesha and Me-me in the background yell at Lilly at the same time.

  “No, I haven’t, and I wouldn’t tell you even if I had. No, I was ringing to thank you all for the beautiful outfit you have sent for me to wear. I have never in all my life had anything like this. I hope it didn’t cost you much money. But I will pay you back every cent when I can. The jewelry-please tell me it is not real. I am already packing myself.”

  Alesha snatched the phone off Lilly. “No way will you be giving us one cent. This is a gift to you from us. Now stop worrying and get your sexy little body in that dress and go and take my brother’s breath away. Okay? We are hanging up and do not want to hear from you again unless it is an emergency. Bye, Emily.” They all yelled in chorus and hung up on me. What the hell just happened? Alesha, who is the quiet one, just put me in my place. Today had definitely been a day of surprises.

  Okay, Emily time to turn into the princess you have always dreamt of in the fairy tales. Even if it is just for one night.

  Zach

  I stood staring out the windows of the room, watching the city turn dark then light up with life. I was anxious to see Emily and see what my sisters had dressed her in.

  I trusted them but hoped Emily felt comfortable in the outfit. I stood and straightened my bow tie. I heard a faint clearing of a throat behind me. I turned only to freeze on the spot.

  Before me was my princess. My eyes roamed her hair, it had been curled and hung loose around her shoulders. I was stuck looking into her amazing eyes that were sparkling at me. My gaze went all the way down, following the curves of her body in a dress that showed me everything that had been hiding under the jeans and sweaters she had been wearing around the farm. Peeking out the bottom of the dress were her cute toes in some serious fuck-me heels. A vision of laying her out on the bed in just those heels started to creep into my mind. I had to stop it in its tracks, otherwise we would be walking out of here with me sporting some serious wood.

  As I started back up her body, I could see her fidgeting with her hands and I could tell how nervous she was of what I thought. How could she not know how beautiful she looked tonight?

  “Emily,” I managed to whisper as I walked towards her. Putting my right hand on her cheek and the left hand on her waist, she melted into my touch.

  “You look absolutely stunning tonight, you took my breath away. I am lost for words. If we didn’t have somewhere to be in ten minutes, I am not sure I would let you leave this room. I don’t want to be fighting off every man who looks at you tonight with not very innocent thoughts.”

  Emily giggled at that thought and I could tell she didn’t believe me. I knew what I was thinking, though looking at her body, it would be the same for every other man in that ballroom tonight.

  “Do I look okay, Zach, I am not used to such fancy outfits?” The nervousness in her voice told me how unsure she was of herself tonight.

  “Emily, you look amazing and have nothing to worry about. No matter what my sisters ask as repayment for organizing this, I will pay it. It will be so worth the pain of Lilly just to see you in this dress. You will be the belle of the ball, my angel. It is time to take you on my arm and watch every man’s head turn as we enter the room.”

  I lead her out of the room and to the elevator to attend the awards night. It was normally a night I hated attending, but it was a necessary part of the job. Tonight, however, was a night I think I will remember for a very long time. And it had nothing to do with the award I would be receiving.

  Emily

  The night went smoothly, with Zach getting up to receive his award after the speech from the judge that made me feel so proud of him.

  I didn’t realize how amazing he was at his job and the work he puts into restoring the old and making it new again. A bit like me, really. Zach had taken the old me and started to create something new. I certainly wasn’t the same girl from a few months ago.

  During the speeches and awards, Zach sat with his arm on the back of my chair and his arm on my back. He slowly and softly ran his fingers up and down my back. There were goose bumps all over me every time he touched me. The very sexy red lace lingerie that appeared in the top of my bag left little to the imagination and was now feeling very wet between my legs. Zach, being so close and touching me, had me so turned on that I wasn’t sure how much longer I could sit here without moving.

  All the awards were finally finished, and the band started up welcoming everyone to the dance floor. Zach turned to me with a twinkle in his eye. “Time to dance, angel. I want you to show me your moves.” Oh, I wanted to show him some moves, alright, but they weren’t fit for the dance floor in public.

  “Zach, I don’t really dance very well. I never got the chance to learn.”

  “That is no problem, I will lead you around and you just follow. I’m going to be holding you so close and snug you won’t even need to move much.” He pulled me to my feet.

  “I will follow you anywhere” I whispered as we headed for the floor. They started out with a slow dance, which was perfect. Zach pulled me close with my head resting on his shoulder. It felt amazing to be in his arms. They cocooned me, and the world disappeared. I concentrated on the sound of his heartbeat, which seemed to be getting quicker the longer we were on the dance floor. I closed my eyes and took in the moment. I felt the music in my soul as it took me to a secret world where there was just Zach and I.

  I felt Zach lean down and kiss the top of my head. I warm feeling went through me. He lifted my chin up to look at him. The emotion in his eyes told me he was feeling everything I was right in this moment.

  “Emily, I think it is time we leave. I am not sure I can hold it together much more. What do you say we head back to the room?” Oh God, I wanted that more than I was willing to admit.

  “I think that sounds perfect.”

  The ride in the elevator seemed to take a long time, but in fact it was probably seconds. I could feel my temperature rising in anticipation to what would happen once we got into the room. Zach led me out of the elevator with his hand on my back. He fumbled with the key card to open the lock, which made me laugh on the inside. The nerves were getting to him too. This was it. It was now or never.

  Once we were in the room, Zach led me to the center of it.

  “Angel, I know we need to talk, but the way I am feeling right now, I think I need to show you how I feel about you through my actions. We have all weekend to talk, but I am not sure I can sit still long enough to do it now. As you could probably tell on the dance floor, there are parts of me that are past the point of wanting to talk.”

  I couldn’t help but giggle at him with that comment. “Zach, I am pretty sure we are both on the same wavelength tonight and for the first time in a very long time, the last thing I want to do is talk.”

  As he leant down, our mouths were a breath apart. My heart stopped. I could feel my muscles tense as I breathed in his scent. It was the manly scent of Zach with a hint of the wilderness that he loved. It wrapped around me and had me mesmerized.

  “Emily,” He whispered in that voice that was as smooth as chocolate,” Let go, be with me.”

  I was struggling to get my words out. “I am scared that this bubble will burst.”

  “I’m scared too, Emily. I can’t promise you more than
tonight. I know all we have is here and now. This very minute, this very second. Let’s just live in the now.”

  “I want you so bad it hurts to my core.” He stared straight into my eyes, looking into my soul and I couldn’t hide behind my wall anymore. “Please, tell me you want me too, Emily.”

  “What if I fall?” I whispered struggling to hold on.

  “I will always catch you, Em.” Zach’s words fell across my lips.

  “But nobody has ever caught me.”

  “You’re wrong, Emily,” my name slowly rolling off his tongue. “I caught you that first day you opened your door…I caught you so tight that I have never let go.”

  Both our breathing was becoming hot, fast and shallow. “I am going to kiss you, Emily, and if you don’t want that, you need to stop this now. I know once I start, I am not going to stop.”

  “Don’t stop,” I let out in the slightest whisper.

  As he leaned forward towards my mouth, the last brick dropped from my wall. My eyes closed as Zach’s lips touched mine. I felt a groan escape Zach’s lips. His touch held so much in it. “Open your eyes, I want to see the real you, don’t hide from me.” Our mouths locked again, but now the intensity was through the roof and everything that had been building between us was now escaping into our bodies through our kiss. Gone was the initial softness of taking it slow and testing the waters. Nothing was holding this passion from exploding right here in our kisses. Zach slipped his hand up the back of my neck and tilted my head right where he wanted it as he continued to wrap my hair between his fingers. I was losing my strength in my legs that now felt like jelly. He pulled me tight against him in one motion and I held on tight to his arms, letting my fingers slide towards his strong shoulders and down to his abs. I had seen his abs many times and longed to touch. The ridges were deep and I wondered what it would feel like to lick them.