Love So Deep

by Kathleen Ball

  “I’m not going to be a trapper if I have to eat beans all the time. Sam said cowboys eat lots of beans too.”

  “Ya take with ya what travels best. Beans ya can eat right out of the can and they’re filling. Dried beef takes up almost no room. It just makes sense to me. Now, for instance I could carry canned peaches but they are a bit heavy and don’t fill the belly as much.”

  “Oh, I don’t suppose you have any heavy peaches, do ya?”

  Samantha smiled. “Brian, we’ll be in town in a few days. Maybe I can find you something different to eat.” Her smiled faded.

  His brow furrowed. “What happened to your smile?” Patrick asked.

  “I shouldn’t make promises I might not be able to keep. I could try to trade the beans for something else but I’m not sure.” She stared at the fire, clasping and unclasping her hands. “We might as well get out of these wet clothes.” She stood and began to rummage through her bags. “Here, Brian, put these on.” She handed him a set of clothes and grabbed a set for herself.

  Standing up straight, she nodded at him. “Thanks to you we have another set of clothes. I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to thank you.”

  His throat closed for a second. “Knowing you’re safe is thanks enough. Come on Brian, let’s turn our backs so Samantha can get dressed.”

  Her memory didn’t do Patrick justice. His shoulders were broader, his hair longer and his eyes kinder than she remembered. He smiled and laughed easier than before. He still had the ability to make her heart race. He was the one person who actually liked her and Brian. Such a stark contrast to the people of the town.

  “You look good. How was the rest of the winter in the mountains?”

  “Fine, everything was fine. A bit quiet.”

  “We missed you!” Brian added. “The people in town are mean and one man named Trigger made Sam cry.”

  “He means Chigger.”

  “I heard from the sheriff he was back. Just found out.” He gave her a long probing look. “Did he hurt ya?”

  “No, nothing like that. He threatened me. First, he played a little game of where is the money. He knew all along Stinky took it. I did accuse him of leading those poor people to their deaths. I’m a witness who knows too much. He said he’d have Brian sent back to the orphanage if I told anyone, but I don’t think he intends for me to live.” She shivered.

  “I asked around and no one knew where he’d holed up all winter. I thought maybe he was dead.”

  “Unfortunately he’s very much alive. I’m not sure moving to the next town will change anything. He can still find me, but maybe people would help me. I just don’t know.”

  “Patrick, people have been mean to Sam and me. They cross the street if they see us coming. The lady at the mercantile sniffs the air when we walk in as if we smell or something. She said you came to town, settled our account and left. How come you came to town and didn’t come to see me?”

  There was no disguising the pain in his eyes. “The account wasn’t settled. I brought more furs down to make sure there was enough money to last ya into next summer.”

  “And?”

  “And what?”

  “And why didn’t you come to visit me? I thought we were friends.” Tears filled Brian’s eyes.

  Patrick hesitated so long, she wasn’t sure he was going to answer Brian’s questions.

  “Ya know how Mrs. Andrews from the store treats ya? If I had been with ya, she would have treated ya worse. I grew up in that town and only the sheriff and the Doc talk to me. I thought I was doing the best thing by staying away. I hoped the people in town would give ya and Samantha a chance.”

  Brian sniffled. “I guess you were wrong.”

  “I was wrong. Well, maybe I can get ya set up in the next town. I’ll deal with Chigger.”

  “No! He’s mean as a snake. I don’t want ya hurt because of me.” Samantha’s eyes grew wide with fear.

  “I don’t plan on getting hurt.” He looked deep into her eyes and she could feel the pull of him. He was magnetic and it became a struggle to stay away from him.

  “Have ya been to the next town?” she asked, trying to change the subject from Chigger.

  “Olia? I’ve been there. It’s smaller than Winsten. They don’t care about me one way or the other. The only reason I don’t do business in Olia instead is the merchant at the general store won’t give me a fair price for my furs. But I never had a problem.”

  “Smaller?” Her stomach knotted. “I was hoping to find a job and raise Brian there. But we can just go on to the next one if we need to.” She mentally counted how much money she didn’t have. They’d barely enough to get to Olia. She didn’t have a plan, all she wanted was to keep Brian safe.

  Patrick nodded. “Ya never know what the future holds.” He reached out and gave her hand a gentle squeeze. “Folks might be nice.”

  It hurt to try to smile. Everything hurt her head, her face, her stomach, her heart. Patrick didn’t want them. She’d secretly held out hope he’d come down the mountain and tell her he couldn’t live without her. Her mother would have called her being fanciful. Her father would have told her it was a pipe dream and to stop wishing for what she couldn’t have. She thought she’d faced reality but it hadn’t hurt like now.

  “Do they have a saloon there?” Brian asked.

  Patrick’s eyes narrowed. “Yes, why?”

  “Some folks said the only job for Sam was in a saloon. Maybe they’d hire her.”

  Warmth flooded her face and she quickly looked away. Just one more reason for Patrick to feel sorry for her. It shamed her.

  “People said that?” His voice seemed to boom throughout the cave, and she jumped.

  “It was suggested a time or two,” she said softly. “It’s all fine. Brian and I will be just fine. If it hadn’t been for the mountain lion, this trip would have gone great. We learned a lot about survival from you and we make do. Well, the beans might be a bit much but you do what you can. I’m sure we’ll find a home and I’ll get a job, a good job.”

  His eyebrow arched. “I’m not sure there will be any jobs, but we can look. It might be best if the two of ya went to town alone. Ya know what people will think if you’re seen with me.”

  “I’m glad you were here when we needed you.” She tried her hardest to smile but she didn’t have one inside her. She wished she hadn’t seen him again. It would just be harder when he left them again. He held a piece of her heart she knew she’d never get back. It belonged only to him. “The rain is letting up. Tomorrow should be a good travel day. How far to town do you think?”

  “Not so far. You’ll probably get there by nightfall tomorrow. Ya might want to camp outside of town so ya can see it in the daylight. I’m not sure you’ll find a place to stay so late in the day.”

  Nodding her body chilled. Too bad he didn’t want them. If she had to work in the saloon, it might not be so bad. “Serving drinks wouldn’t be so bad. If they have a school and all I suppose we might stay.” As if she had any choice.

  “Is that what ya think they do? Serve drinks?”

  “I did hear some singing. I can sing.”

  “Where exactly did ya grow up?”

  “A farm in Missouri. We had a few neighbors and we went to town every Sunday for church. We didn’t have a saloon. We did have a café and there were waitresses.”

  Patrick groaned.

  “What is it?” She asked.

  He glanced at Brian. “We’ll talk about it later.”

  She nodded. Maybe he didn’t approve of a nighttime job. She watched as Brian and Patrick whittled and talked. Brian had been craving attention for such a long time now. She gave him all of hers but it wasn’t enough. She swallowed hard to keep the tears at bay. It wouldn’t do to shroud their happiness in her despair.

  “I’ll heat up dinner, and then I think we all need a good night’s sleep. Tomorrow will be a busy day.” She opened a few cans of beans and placed them in the hot coals. “I have some tea if you
like.”

  “Ya have tea? Mrs. Andrews didn’t have any.”

  “I’ll make you some.” Avoiding his gaze was hard but it was a must. Her heart needed to be protected from more hurt.

  This time Brian didn’t complain as he ate. He was too busy eating and talking. She wished his happiness could be hers, but she knew the ending and Brian hadn’t thought that far ahead. The pain in her heart grew as she watched them eat, and later as Patrick tucked Brian into bed. He did it with such care.

  She stayed by the fire waiting to hear what he had to say about the job at the saloon. A job was a job.

  Patrick gave her a slight smile as he sat on the ground next to her. He turned a bit so he was facing her. “Ya can’t work in a saloon.”

  “Why not?”

  “It’s not a place for a respectable woman to work.”

  “I don’t see how serving drinks could be so bad. I know they wear some fancy dresses and all but if the money is good…” He took her hand and rubbed the back of it with his thumb.

  “Ya don’t know what goes on in a place like that. Men pay for liquor and for a woman’s favor.”

  “Favor?”

  “They pay for women to entertain them in bed.”

  She gasped and snatched her hand back, clamping it over her mouth. Her eyes widened as she dropped her hand. “Are you telling me the truth? They are, are, whores? Oh my word.” Her shoulders slumped as her last idea for survival slipped away. “When the people in town told me to work in the saloon they expected me to—?”

  “Yes. I’m sorry, it’s all my fault. I should have come up with some way ya could have gotten help for Brian without anyone knowing about me.”

  “Don’t beat yourself up. We needed you and you were there for us. That’s all that matters. I’ve missed you these past few months. There’s been no one to talk to about my fears and problems. The way they shunned Brian tore my heart out. It was lonely but I do thank you for providing us with a place to live. You’ve done more for us than anyone else. I can never repay you for your kindness.”

  He leaned over and kissed her cheek, so gently, so tenderly, tears fell from her eyes. “Hey, don’t cry. I thought I was doing the right thing by leaving ya alone. I figured people would forget. Ya and Brian both have such big hearts, I just thought everyone would be able to see that about ya.” He leaned in again and this time his lips captured hers.

  His hard masculine lips softened as he kissed her. Closing her eyes, she allowed the magic of the moment to dull her heartbreak. Kissing him was like coming home. He parted her lips with his tongue and delved it into her mouth until it found her tongue to dance with. She whimpered when he broke the kiss and he pulled her onto his lap, wrapping his arms around her, holding her tight. His strong hands stroked her back as she laid her head on his broad shoulder. He smelled of pine and smoke from the fire. She buried her face in his neck and kissed it. His body trembled. Was it from her kiss?

  Lifting her face, wanting to see her eyes, he captured her lips. Her heart beat faster and faster. There wasn’t anything in the whole world as good as his kiss. Just his nearness had her yearning to be closer to him. Most women she knew had called it a wifely duty. Maybe the duty part came later. He kissed her neck and behind her ear and she sighed. “I wish—”

  He cut her off with another searing kiss. His tongue dueled with hers and desire flooded her. It filled her whole being. How was she going to let him go?

  A rustling sound in the bushes outside of the cave alerted them and before she knew it, she’d been dumped off his lap and onto the hard dirt-packed ground.

  “Go back into the back of the cave with Brian.” He grabbed his gun and inched toward the entrance. He got on his belly and scanned outside. He lay very still for some time and she wondered what was going on.

  By this time, Brian had wakened and his eyes were wide with fear. “It’s okay. We heard an animal. I’m going to grab my rifle. Ya stay here and stay low.” Brian nodded solemnly. She grabbed her rifle and shimmied on her stomach toward the entrance, trying to keep as silent as possible. The look of annoyance Patrick gave her wasn’t a surprise.

  “Two men. I have a feeling I know who they are. Keep your firearm near ya. I have a feeling they won’t play nice.”

  Nodding, she felt sick. It was Stinky Sullivan and Chigger. She should have expected them, but she thought since she left in the dark of night, she wouldn’t be missed so soon. Another plan gone awry. Patrick would protect them and she would help.

  “Just stay low and don’t move. They may become bold enough to come out in the open. I doubt they know I’m here with ya. I doubt Sheriff Todd is on their list of friends.”

  Her body trembled, but she got a hold of herself. No matter what, she needed to be brave for Brian. She thanked God more than once for sending Patrick to them in their time of need. She heard Ahern scream and waited for Patrick to jump up and save him. Instead, he lay still. His body tensed and he bit off a curse but he didn’t flinch.

  A few minutes later Stinky and Chigger walked into view. They walked cockily as though they hadn’t a care in the world. Patrick cocked his gun.

  “Hold it right there!”

  Both men’s jaws dropped as they scrambled to get to their guns. She cocked the rifle loudly and they scrambled to find cover. A shot rang out and they stopped.

  “Listen, we have no beef with ya,” Chigger shouted. “Just looking for some food is all. It’s wet and cold out here. We just wanted a cup of coffee.”

  “Chigger, I know it’s ya and Sullivan out there, and I know what ya plan to do. It’s always best to have no witnesses when you’ve done the devil’s work.”

  “Why aren’t you on your damn mountain?” Stinky asked with a whine in his voice.

  “I came to protect Samantha and Brian from the likes of ya.”

  Stinky sneered. “What’s she to you? I knew it, she’s used goods now. Killing her might be doing her a favor. No man will want her now. I’m surprised she isn’t working at the saloon. Of course, her pay would be practically nothing. Customers get a discount if the woman’s been with an Indian. Chigger here already wired the orphanage, and they are sending someone to collect the boy.”

  She gasped. It didn’t matter what they thought of her but Brian. How could they condemn the boy to life in the orphanage?

  “Like my friend here asked. What’s she to you? Are you willing to die for her? Sullivan and I are experts with guns. I’d hate for you to get hurt for nothing.”

  “Ya plan to kill me anyway. I’m not stupid ya know. As for Samantha and Brian, they are the closest thing I have to family and I’ll gladly protect them till my last breath.”

  Fear, pain, and now warmth filled her. She hoped he meant it but it could be some ploy to get the men to back off.

  “What about you, Samantha?” Chigger called out. “Are you willing to get the mountain man killed because of you? Why don’t you come out nice and slow and the other two can go on their way?”

  Before she could answer, Patrick spoke. “She stays with me as does the boy. Now, ya have to the count of three to skedaddle or I’m going to start shooting. One…”

  Stinky and Chigger began to shoot. A bullet hit the ground in front of her face and she rolled out of the way. It was over before she had her gun ready to fire. Both Stinky and Chigger lay on the ground with blood on their chests.

  “They’re dead,” she said woodenly.

  “There was no choice.”

  “I know. Thank you for coming to our rescue, yet again. I don’t know what we’ll do without you.”

  “I want to see the dead men!” Brian ran past her and whistled. “Wow!” He turned to look at Patrick but he’d already left the cave to see to the horses.

  A loud curse was heard and she grabbed Brian’s hand and climbed down to see about Ahern. As they approached, she saw blood on his coat. “Oh no! How bad is it?”

  “They cut him with a knife. It’s not too deep. I bet they intended to keep cutti
ng if they thought we were holed up. Stupid fools.”

  Brian walked toward Patrick and stopped at his side. He took Patrick’s hand. “It’s my fault. Sam didn’t want them to send me away.”

  Patrick squatted next to him. “It’s not your fault at all. The fault lies with Chigger and Stinky. Their greed made them hurt many people. Good people like you and Samantha.”

  Her face warmed as he glanced over Brian’s head at her. She felt something pass between them. For her it was love but she wasn’t sure about him. He’d told her time and again they couldn’t be and she had to respect his feelings.

  “Do you think Chigger wired for someone to come get Brian? If so we’d best keep going to the next town.”

  “There’s nothing in that town for ya.”

  “Maybe, but we won’t know until we try.”

  “Let’s go back to Wintsen,” Patrick said as he lifted Brian into his arms.

  “I don’t see why.”

  “We have at least three allies there, the sheriff, the doc and the preacher.”

  “The preacher? He hasn’t been any too nice to me or Brian,” she protested.

  “He’s known me since I was a child and he helped me out of more than one tough spot. He’ll help us.”

  Help them do what she didn’t know.

  “Let’s get some sleep and head back in the morning,” Patrick suggested.

  “We can’t just leave the bodies out here, they’ll attract wild animals.”

  “Well darlin’, just about all animals out here are wild.” He grinned. “I’ll pull the bodies a good ways away.”

  She nodded and led Brian back to the cave. “I guess we’d better get some sleep.”

  “Samantha? I’m afraid they’ll take me away.”

  She pulled Brian into a hug and kissed his cheek. “No one is taking you away from me.”

  “Promise?”

  “I promise.”

  They rode hard all day long with Patrick taking the lead. He kept at a good pace and planned for them to be back to town a little after nightfall. Thankfully, they had the homestead to stay in. At this point, he didn’t care who knew he was staying there or not. He had plans, plans he hoped Samantha would go along with. They needed his protection and they needed a way to keep Brian safe before trouble came to find them.