Where I'm Going

by Parker Elliot

  But no. Nobody wanted to listen to all that drama. Not even nice, wonderful, perfect guys like Benji.

  “How do you keep from thinking about it? If there’s a secret to doing it, I’d love to know.”

  Benji let out a short, wry laugh. “There’s no secret, unfortunately. Or if there is, I haven’t found it yet, either. But I’m trying. Trying to relax. To enjoy life—whatever that means. Trying to find out if there’s something more that I’m meant to do.” He looked out the window for a second, as if he was contemplating the words he’d just said. When he turned back to face Reign, he still looked thoughtful, but also a little sad. “Anyway, as much as I’d like you to stay and keep me company, I do understand why you’d want to leave paradise and get back to the grind. I probably understand that more than anyone, actually.”

  “Is that your roundabout way of saying you like having me around?”

  Reign was trying to lighten the mood, but he was only half-joking. He really was curious to know Benji’s answer.

  “Of course I do. I really like you.” He blushed and looked away again for a second. “I mean, you’re a lot of fun to hang out with, you know? It’s not often I meet someone I get along with so well.”

  “I feel the same way,” Reign said, trying to mask the huge smile that was spreading across his lips. “Exactly the same, in fact. And I hope we can stay in touch after I leave. After we both leave here, I mean.”

  “I’d like that,” Benji said, turning back to face him again. There was an eagerness and sincerity in his eyes that let Reign know he wasn’t just bullshitting. He wasn’t just being polite, and it wasn’t just a meaningless line. “I’d like that a lot.”

  “That’s settled, then.” Reign smiled again and turned his attention to the mountain of food in front of him. “Now we can eat.”

  And even though Reign was happy with the direction the conversation had taken, he couldn’t help but wonder if there was more that had gone unsaid. He’d felt more when he’d looked into Benji’s eyes, no doubt about it.

  Maybe neither of them knew exactly how to put their feelings into words, though. That was the case for Reign, anyway.

  One thing was for certain, though. They were both in a strange place in their lives—everything was in flux. Neither of them needed any other complications, for sure.

  So, in the end, it was good that Reign was leaving early. Staying later and spending more time with Benji would only muddy the waters and complicate things for both of them.

  Leaving was good. Responsibility was good. Friendship was good.

  Hoping for anything more would just make things difficult, and would only end badly.

  11

  Benji

  No matter how much time Benji got to spend with Reign, it never seemed like enough.

  They’d spent almost the entire day together yesterday after their impromptu breakfast, and yet when Benji had returned to his own hotel room at the end of the night to sleep alone—because just friends didn’t suck each other’s dicks, apparently—he still wanted more.

  He couldn’t explain it, even to himself. It’s not like they even had to be doing anything—they’d mostly just hung out by the pool and talked the day before—but even when they weren’t talking, even when they were just in the same room together, Benji felt better. Happier. Calmer and more tranquil than he ever had in his life.

  And maybe part of it was the laid-back island vacation vibe finally starting to set in, but there was definitely more to it than that.

  Now that he knew Reign was leaving tomorrow, though, there was a sense of hopelessness that was beginning to sink in with all the rest of the conflicting emotions he’d been having.

  He didn’t want Reign to leave early, and in fact wasn’t really mentally prepared for it. He wanted more days of talking, of laughing, of being friends.

  And maybe a few more days of being more than friends, too.

  It was too late to say any of that to Reign, though. Spilling his heart out with less than twenty-four hours until they never saw each other again? Yeah, not a recipe for a fun-filled last day together.

  He’d already slept in far too late, but he wanted to spend as much time as possible with Reign on his last day. Maybe brunch down by the beach, Maybe they could go snorkeling or swimming, or just… maybe stay indoors and do other things that didn’t require leaving the room.

  Even though no part of Benji was looking forward to saying goodbye to Reign in the morning, he was determined to make the very best of their last day together, and those were the thoughts he was choosing to wrap himself in as he showered and got dressed for the day.

  Benji walked down the hallway, humming Chase’s latest song, the one he’d written after Jackson had proposed, wondering what, exactly, he and Reign were gonna do for the day. Maybe he’d just leave it completely up to Reign. Benji would be happy doing just about anything—or nothing at all—as long as it included Reign.

  As he got closer to the lobby, though, he lingered for a moment at the intersection of corridors that would have taken him straight to Reign’s room.

  Normally, the lobby was quiet and tranquil, almost eerie in its silence, but today there were some very agitated voices that were decidedly not tranquil. In fact, those voices sounded like they were on the verge of being angry—the closest thing to yelling he’d heard since he’d arrived on the island.

  Worse, one of them sounded a lot like Reign. Exactly like Reign, now that Benji was stopped and listening and trying to inconspicuously peek around the corner to see what all the fuss was about.

  He still couldn’t hear exactly what was being said, but as he looked into the lobby, there was no mistaking Reign’s perfect body standing at the front desk. And even though his back was to Benji, it was clear that he was getting more agitated by the second. Judging by the look on the desk clerk’s face, he wasn’t faring much better.

  Benji didn’t know what in the hell was going on, but he didn’t like seeing Reign like that. He needed to help, if he could.

  He closed the distance between them quickly, and was all too tempted to put his arm around Reign’s slender waist as he walked up behind the smaller blond man. But even from behind, he could tell from Reign’s body language that it would probably not be the most helpful thing for Benji to do at that moment.

  Or maybe that’s exactly what Reign needed… Benji was never quite sure. Like everything else between them, their exact boundaries were still sort of a mystery. A mystery that was going to have to wait to get solved, since there was apparently a larger issue at hand.

  “Is everything okay?” Benji winced a little as Reign jumped at the sound of his voice. Without thinking, he put a hand on Reign’s arm as the other man spun to face him.

  “Oh, Benji. Oh my God. It’s a disaster. It’s awful.”

  “Okay. Calm down. What’s going on?” Benji’s eyes flicked from Reign to the desk clerk and back again, his anxiety rising. “Someone tell me what’s the matter, please.”

  Reign spoke up first. “Remember the storm I was telling you about yesterday? The one that was sort of heading this way?”

  “Yeah… You said it shouldn’t be that big of a deal, though.”

  “It’s apparently become a big deal.”

  The desk clerk nodded. “There’s no flights off the island for at least forty-eight hours. Maybe longer, depending on what kind of damage the storm does.”

  Benji’s eyes widened as the scope of what they were saying finally started to hit him. It wasn’t just about the fact that Reign wouldn’t make it home as early as he’d hoped. The storm that he and Reign had decided not to pay attention to the day before had turned into something major while they weren’t looking.

  “When will it be here?” Benji asked, looking out the windows directly in front of them at the clear horizon. “It doesn’t look like there’s a storm on the way.”

  The clerk shrugged. “A few hours, at the most. The lobby faces north, but if you step outside or look
out from a south-facing window, you’ll see the difference.”

  Benji definitely wanted to see what all the fuss was about for himself, but that would have to wait. He could still feel the tension radiating from Reign’s body, and his first order of business had to be making sure Reign was okay.

  “And how much damage are we anticipating?” Benji asked. “Is it a hurricane?”

  “Still just a tropical storm right now. This resort was built to withstand just about anything nature could throw at it, so any direct damage here should be minor. As long as all of our guests heed our advisory to stay indoors,” he shot a pointed look at Reign, “then everyone should be fine. I do apologize for the inconvenience, but there’s really nothing else that can be done.”

  Reign opened his mouth to speak, and Benji could tell just from the look in his eyes that he wanted to press the matter. He placed a hand on Reign’s arm, both to reassure him and to redirect his attention.

  “How about if we head back to my suite for a while and figure out what our options are, okay? I’m sure this gentleman will let us know if anything changes with the weather.”

  “Absolutely,” the clerk nodded emphatically, looking grateful for Benji’s intervention. “You have my word that if anything changes, you’ll be the first to know.”

  For a moment, Benji thought Reign might argue, but with a long, resigned sigh, he nodded and Benji could see some of the tension start to drain from him.

  “Fine. You’re right,” he nodded. “I guess it wouldn’t hurt to sit down and clear my head a little. Let’s go.”

  Benji smiled. “That’s right. We’ll figure something out. Try not to worry.”

  And even though Benji was worried enough for both of them, he’d apparently convinced Reign that everything was going to be okay, and that he had all the answers.

  Now, if he could only convince himself.

  12

  Reign

  Reign was trying hard to keep it together, but on the inside he was in full-on panic mode.

  Thank God Benji was there to make things better. Or to at least make things tolerable. The fact that so many variables were completely out of his control was really freaking him out, but from the moment Benji had appeared in the lobby like some kind of guardian angel, things hadn’t seemed quite so bleak.

  And then, when they got back to Benji’s suite and Benji put his strong, solid arms around Reign, things seemed just about tolerable for the first time all day.

  “It’s gonna be okay,” Benji said, his steady voice quiet and soothing. “I’ve got you. We’re gonna stay right here, together, through the storm. And then as soon as it’s over, I’ll help you get a flight out of here.”

  Reign didn’t know how Benji could be so confident that everything was going to work out, but for once he didn’t question it. For once, he just let himself be held. For once, he let go just a little bit while someone else shouldered the stress and the worry.

  “I just wish this wasn’t happening,” Reign said, instantly regretting the words as he felt Benji flinch a little. “I mean, not this,” he pulled back a little and grinned up at Benji. “This is nice. You really came along at just the right time. But all of that?” He gestured out toward the window. “To hell with all of that.”

  “I know. It’s not how we anticipated spending the day. But we might as well make the best of it. For what it’s worth, there’s nobody else I’d rather be stranded on a tropical island with right now.”

  Reign laughed. It was the first time all day that he’d even felt like laughing, but he wasn’t surprised that Benji had brought that out in him. Benji always seemed to be looking at life with a glass-half-full attitude, and it was something Reign needed more of in his life.

  Too often, he’d let himself get upset by circumstances he didn’t have any control over, until he felt like he was so far in a hole that he couldn’t find his way out. It had happened with his bar, when the inevitable downturns in business becoming more and more difficult to recover from.

  Now, things had been bad for so long that Reign didn’t know if the bar would ever be profitable again. He wasn’t even sure if he had it in him to try and make it happen. It had been a losing battle that he’d fought for years, occasionally breaking even, but all too often still finding ways to burn through any extra cash. There was just always something. Something that needed to be fixed, or a license that needed to be renewed, a new way that everyone else was advertising that always seemed to be more complicated and more expensive than the old way, except with fewer returns.

  It was a never-ending ride, but Reign had been around enough times to seriously start to consider hopping off and taking it easy for a while. And although he couldn’t quite picture himself at a regular nine-to-five job, he could certainly understand the appeal of something calm and stable after so many years of being in business for himself.

  “I’m glad I’m here with you, too,” Reign said, meaning it. “And even though it pissed me off at the time, I’m glad that guy at the front desk talked me out of hitching a ride to the airport.”

  Benji snorted. “Is that what you were threatening to do?”

  “It was mostly an idle threat. He told me they weren’t taking anyone on the shuttle to the airport today, and that even if I did make it there, I still wouldn’t get a flight out until sometime tomorrow at the earliest. Probably the day after.”

  “You’ve gotta admit that sleeping here is a lot better than in an airport lounge. I bet they don’t even have room service,” Benji said, winking.

  “Speaking of that, do you think we could order some lunch? I skipped breakfast, thinking I’d need to hurry and make it to the airport, and I’m starving.”

  Benji nodded. “We can have whatever you want. We can do whatever you want. I’m easy to please.”

  For a moment, Reign wondered if there was more meaning behind those words than Benji was letting on, but when he searched Benji’s eyes, there was nothing but concern and compassion there. Apparently, Reign’s hormones were becoming as overactive as his imagination.

  But no. They had decided to stay just friends, and Reign was going to have to follow Benji’s example in sticking to that vow.

  “Maybe we can put on some old movies, too,” Reign said, starting to warm to the idea of being confined to the room with Benji. Even without sex, they could still be close. Cuddling between friends was a thing, right? If movies were involved, at least?

  “Whatever you want,” Benji repeated.

  God, it would be way too easy to get used to hearing that. Especially when it was coming from Benji’s mouth.

  13

  Benji

  Benji woke up still sitting upright on the bed, his arm still draped over Reign’s shoulders as he slept. Benji smiled at the image. God, how could one person look so perfect all the time? No matter if he’d been sleeping, or had just climbed out of bed—hell, even the day before, when Reign had hardly slept at all—he still managed to make looking good seem effortless.

  Reluctantly, he pulled his gaze away from Reign and looked toward the window. It was dark outside, but not the kind of darkness that comes with nightfall. It was an eerie darkness that was completely out of place in their island paradise at four in the afternoon.

  The howling wind and sheets of rain hitting the building already sounded intense, but from what he’d seen on the news and from what the desk clerk had said, what was hitting them now was probably just the outer edge of the storm.

  And that meant it was only going to get worse.

  He gently eased his arm from under Reign and rolled out of bed as quietly as possible. Not that it would have mattered much if he’d made a little noise. The hotel rooms were well-insulated, but all the sound-proofing in the world was no match for Mother Nature.

  Benji crossed the room and drew back the curtains, gasping quietly as he saw what was going on outside.

  Growing up in Georgia, he’d seen plenty of news footage showing tropical storms and hurricanes
roaring along the coast, but he’d never been so close to one before. While the effects of even major hurricanes were mostly confined to high winds and strong rains by the time they made it to his hometown, being out on an island—literally in the eye of the storm—was an entirely new experience.

  He thought back to the hotel clerk’s words, that the resort had been built to withstand much worse than what they were experiencing, and that everyone would be fine as long as they stayed indoors. Those words only comforted him a little as he looked out at the giant waves crashing onto the shore in the distance and the palm trees that were bending at precarious angles.

  It was mesmerizing. Awe-inspiring. Terrifying.

  “Benji?” Reign’s voice sounded tired and disoriented. “What is it?”

  He turned away from the window to see Reign rubbing his eyes as he pushed himself to his feet. Reign crossed the room to stand beside Benji at the window.

  Benji watched as Reign looked out over the beach that had been beautiful and calm just a few hours before, now nearly obscured through the crashing waves and driving rain.

  “It’s happening,” Reign murmured, looking fully awake.

  “It’s here,” Benji nodded, stepping behind the smaller man to wrap his arms around him.

  Reign leaned into Benji’s embrace and sighed, reaching up to pull Benji’s arms even tighter around him—almost like a security blanket. Benji leaned in and planted a kiss on the side of Reign’s neck, then closed his eyes as he lost himself in the fresh smell of shampoo and soap and just a hint of cologne that mingled with the intoxicating scent that was uniquely and distinctly Reign.

  “What do we do now?” Reign whispered as he tilted his head to the side and gave Benji better access to the deliciously fluttering spot at the base of his neck.