Can't Forget: If she can't forget her past, she won't have a future. (Solum Series Book 2)

by Colleen S. Myers

  Xade cooed and held out his hand. Extending my own hand, palm up, I smiled and let the hate shine from my eyes. Power coursed through me and I reveled in the feeling. I watched the E’mani when lightning crashed into the trees behind them, too close to be random. Ozone filled the air.

  They turned as one to look. “What is this?”

  Lightning danced in my vision, across my eyes, along my fingertips. They didn’t look afraid yet. I wanted them afraid. I wanted Xade scared and weeping before me. So many times, it was me crouched there.

  Rage tightened my jaw. Lightning struck in the middle of them. They turned back to stare at me. A few moved toward the woods, in a swift wave.

  “Ungrateful child, still you would seek to hurt us after all the gifts you have been granted? Your magic will not save you.”

  Xade lifted his gun. The metal called the lightning. It struck the clearing. Once, twice...three times, too many to count. Electricity crackled in the air. My hair punked out. A blue haze covered my hands, sparks flying. The marks along my left wrist glowed with power. As I watched, the band spread up my arm, a bolt forming in the blue background.

  Xade fired his weapon. The ammunition flew toward me. In slow motion, I swatted it aside. Xade tilted his head at me, a question in his eyes and finally, a trace of fear. He cocked his hand to Lara, who trotted up to him like a well-trained dog.

  Zanth made a desolate sound beside me and sprang at the closest E’mani. The lightning covered the sound of his movements. His air magic, so like Marin’s, lent him speed. He reached the nearest one undetected, not Xade unfortunately.

  I called more lightning and watched a bolt smash into the chest of another E’mani. He arched back, screaming. Flames burst from his mouth and he flew backward into a tree. The fire spread. Mist and smoke coated our surroundings, eerie in the daylight gloom.

  I hadn’t yet figured out what the hell I did, but it was so pretty. And I was glad I hurt them. But I was unwilling to practice that now. It was too destructive and there was a new life growing inside me.

  I’d once tracked a killer. I asked the land what happened and a haze rose up. I saw a shadowy mirror of the murderer’s action. Others could track the wind, follow scents and even change shape.

  All this power was new to me, and the Fost, for all that they’d historically carried the ability. The magic abandoned them soon after they arrived in Groos, but like my memories, they were slowly trickling back.

  We practiced our magic for over an hour. Time got away from you here. Afterward, we went back inside for dinner and to talk to Zanth. I thought he would take it well even though he was a jerk.

  Boy was I wrong.

  Ten

  Zanth appeared distracted when he entered the dining room, staring at the ground. His light brown hair stood straight up in sweat-stained purple spikes. His form lean, his leathers dirty. I hesitated to say anything, but Marin had no such reservations.

  As soon as Zanth cleared the door, Marin stood. “Guess who is going to be an uncle?”

  Zanth’s eyebrows winged upward. “One of my lovers is pregnant?”

  Marin snorted. “No, the answer is you.”

  Zanth’s gaze drifted to me, and then my belly. A smile broke across his face. “Well, I thought that would be my job now. Congratulations.” His joy seemed sincere though shadows lingered in his eyes.

  Zanth sat down at the table across from Marin and dished some food onto his plate. “So whose is it?”

  I choked on my drink.

  Marin rolled his eyes. “Mine of course.”

  “No possibility of its being Finn’s?” Zanth’s voice trailed off.

  Marin stated in a slow, deliberate tone, “The baby is mine.”

  Zanth reclined in his chair and held his hands up in surrender. “I get it. The baby is yours. So what are your plans?”

  “Plans?” I asked.

  “For the baby?” Zanth lifted an eyebrow. Man, did I hate that lone brow thing.

  “We have not gotten that far yet,” Marin said. “We are still getting used to the idea.”

  Marin picked my hand up and kissed the knuckles. I ran my thumb across his cheek. Our gazes locked. My heart skipped a beat at the promise in his eyes. The moment stretched. My senses sung in the silence. The corner of his mouth tipped up…

  “Oh, please, will you two stop it. It is enough to make me ill,” Zanth grumbled.

  My cheeks heated. God, Zanth was an asshole.

  Marin squeezed my hand. “I thought we could move the study into the library then convert the study into the training room. Then the baby’s room will be upstairs next to ours.”

  “That sounds good. How far along is Beta now?” Zanth asked before picking up his fork and taking a bite.

  “I have no idea.” I butted in. The not addressing me thing while I sat right there bugged me. It was just rude. “I think I’ve felt the baby move.”

  Zanth tapped the fork to his plate. “So three months maybe? How soon after you got here did you two have sex?”

  “Zanth.” Marin growled.

  I put a glass in front of my face to cover my red cheeks. This was not one of Zanth’s better days. My stomach rolled, from the smell of the mystery meat on the table, or from the conversation, I didn’t know.

  “What? It is a viable question. People will wonder…” Zanth said.

  Marin replied. “They can ask all they want. The baby is mine.”

  “So Marin, you plan to ignore the speculation? Are you two planning to mate?” Zanth chewed another bite, looking at Marin and then me.

  Oh god, this was only getting worse. I swallowed a mouthful of my food and kept my eyes on my plate. The veggies stuck in my throat.

  Marin answered, “Soon.”

  “What about the E’mani?” Zanth inquired in a mild tone. It practically screamed, “Danger, Will Robinson” to me. Zanth stabbed his fork into his dinner.

  “Zanth, stop.” Marin threw his napkin down on the table.

  Zanth braced his hands on the table and leaned in Marin’s direction. “Why should I stop? Just because you are moving on and popping out babies does not mean they have forgotten about us. Nor does it mean we should forget about them. They killed Lara. Did you forget that? When am I going to get vengeance? When?”

  Marin stood and put his face right next to Zanth’s. “You need to settle down there, little brother. We will go when we are ready.”

  “And when will that be, never? There will never be a good time to confront them. We have to be willing to take a risk if we are to have any hope of winning. We have our magic. We have our metal. We have our weapons. We can finally fight them, but you will not let us take the war to them. I am sick of waiting.” Zanth’s voice rose with every sentence.

  “I am sorry for that, but wait you must. I will not risk our people on a war we cannot win,” Marin said.

  I couldn’t stop myself from adding. “You don’t go into war expecting to win. You go in fighting. If we wait until there is no danger, we will never leave and we will die. I know a way to kill them. That is why they came after me. I pose a risk to them. Let me find out more, get the supplies and we have a shot at ridding the planet of these fuckers.”

  Both of the men turned to glare at me. Great, I put myself in the middle of their pissing contest. Damn it. I lowered my eyes back to my plate.

  Marin’s jaw clenched, “You will not be going anywhere anytime soon, Elizabeth. You are pregnant.”

  “I wouldn’t put the baby in jeopardy, I’m just saying after—” I protested.

  Marin interrupted. “After? You would leave our child without a mother?”

  “No, I don’t mean that. I mean that no matter what, the E’mani are coming. The baby is at risk either way. The only way my child will be safe is with the E’mani gone. That is the only way. You know this, Marin.” I reached out to grab his hand to calm him down, something.

  Marin jerked away. “No, I do not know it.”

  “Yes you do, Marin, do n
ot be stubborn like our father.” Zanth had leaned back and stood with his arms crossed.

  Marin turned on Zanth this time. “You would compare me to Accia? Our father did not care about anyone but himself. I would protect our people. How dare you!”

  A gust of wind blew the dining room door shut. The table slid against the wall. My new kitten, George, scratched at the now closed door. What the... Marin’s control on his power must be slipping.

  Another gust pushed back in the opposite direction, Zanth’s response. My hair flew in my face. My gut churned in the tense silence as they stared each other down. Zanth’s jaw tensed, his hand gripped his dagger.

  Oh, for fuck sake.

  “Stop it! Both of you. You’re getting out of hand.” I stepped between them and put a hand on each of their chests.

  Zanth’s eyes burned when he gazed down at me then drifted to my abdomen. Without another word, he left the room.

  Marin tried to dodge my hand and follow him. “He needs to get over it.”

  I moved into his path. “Dude, he loved her.”

  “He did not love her. She was his first.” Marin threw up his hands.

  “Whoa? Zanth was a virgin?” I goggled. I did not see that coming. He seemed like such a hound dog.

  “No, but Zanth had never been attracted to a woman before Lara,” Marin said then rubbed his face.

  Bigger whoa. “Nuh uh.”

  “Yes.”

  Wow. “I would have never guessed.”

  “Most do not. It does not matter much except for the production of children.” Marin waved his hand.

  Pretty liberal. On Earth, it was a much bigger deal and I never understood why. Love was love. “That’s awesome,” I said.

  Marin grimaced at me. “What’s awesome?”

  “That you accept who people love.”

  Marin raised an eyebrow at me. “Why would we not?”

  Why indeed. The question made me smile. But back to the topic at hand. “You can’t blame him for wanting revenge.”

  “Yes, I can. He would imperil everyone for it.” Marin grabbed the table and moved it back into place. The chairs were soon arranged. He sat and studied his cooling dinner.

  I moved to join him. “We are in danger already.”

  “I do not want to argue with you.” His eyes dropped to my stomach.

  Jesus. I rolled my eyes. “So just because I’m pregnant, you can’t yell at me? This is going to rock.”

  “I do not want to upset you and hurt the baby,” Marin clarified before he started to eat mechanically.

  “You won’t. But I do need to go to Industry and find some of their labs. It is the only way we can truly win.”

  “We will talk about this later.” Marin grabbed a knife and cut his meat into small bites.

  “I want to talk about this now,” I insisted. Food could wait. This was important. I needed to go to Industry, if not now, then later.

  “You want to talk?” Marin threw down his utensils. “How about we talk about you kissing Finn?”

  Ha, I knew he was being too casual about the whole episode earlier. Casual was never good with him. It meant he was planning. I locked my jaw. “He kissed me.”

  “That is not what it looked like.” Marin glared at me.

  “Marin. I chose you. I will always choose you. He kissed me to try to change my mind.”

  “And you did not enjoy it?” Marin asked in a soft tone.

  “Marin.”

  “Elizabeth.”

  I growled and stood to leave. Forget this.

  “Come back here,” Marin yelled and braced his hands on the table.

  “Screw you,” I tossed over my shoulder.

  “What does that mean?” Marin bellowed after me. Ha. Let him figure it out. “Come back here, Elizabeth, right now.”

  “No.” I managed to get to my old room before Marin caught up. He must have waited a bit to see if I’d return. Idiot. He didn’t know me as well as he thought.

  Marin tried the knob, but I’d locked it. “Elizabeth. Talk to me.”

  I wiped the moisture from my eyes and sat on the bed. “I don’t want to talk to you.”

  “I am sorry. I did not mean to anger you. I did not like seeing you and Finn together.”

  “You heard me. I know you did. You can hear a breeze blow in section three from here. I said. My choice is Marin.” Why didn’t he get that?

  “But then you kissed him.”

  I threw my arms out and lay on the bed. “He kissed me first. I kissed him goodbye.”

  “Do you love me?” Marin asked.

  “Not right now I don’t.”

  He snorted out a laugh. “Before this then?”

  My words whispered out. “Yes.”

  His voice softened. “Please, let me in.”

  I peered at the door.

  “Please,” Marin repeated.

  With slow steps, I walked to the doorway. He leaned against the opposite wall. I took in the sight of him, his sleek build, his leathers, his eyes. My heart skipped a beat. Damn, it really was so unfair. When would looking at him not make me drool?

  He stepped inside. I stepped back. Marin grinned. “Are we dancing?”

  I crossed my arms. He tugged me close and whispered into my ear. “I am sorry. I heard your choice. It is just, Finn angers me. He makes no qualms of his desire for you.”

  “But that doesn’t matter. What matters is how I feel. I. Love. You.” I poked him in the chest with each word.

  Marin nipped my ear. “That is the first time you said it without me making you.”

  “It is not.”

  “Is so.”

  “Not.”

  “So.”

  I grinned and put my arms around his waist, holding tight.

  He pulled back after a minute and ran his hands down my face. “You still hungry?”

  “What are we talking about here?” My fingers splayed across his chest.

  “Food.” He grinned.

  “Oh, well then, not really. The smell was making me sick.”

  His hands encircled my waist. “Well then, let’s go read about babies.”

  “You want to do research?” Research was my thing, not his. I nuzzled my face into his neck.

  Marin nodded. “Yes. I did not have the best example.”

  “You will be an awesome daddy…” I paused. “Wait, what are deliveries like here? I’m going to have to deliver this baby au natural, aren’t I?”

  Marin led me back down the steps to the library. “What does that mean?”

  “Oh god.” That was my answer.

  The rest of the evening centered on the baby. Marin already knew how he wanted to change the rooms. Now to figure out what supplies we would need and well, everything. Cribs, clothes, diapers. No Pampers here. That would be natural as well. So happy I didn’t do the laundry.

  It was overwhelming and at the same time, it was crazy the change that overcame me. I had such blossoming, burgeoning hope. I’d never felt more alive. I never felt such love.

  I should have known it was too good to be true. The E’mani would never permit me such recourse as happiness.

  Eleven

  Over the next three months, Marin continued to support me, he rubbed my lower back when I whined, and proved to me why he was my choice, even if he was an ass sometimes. He never asked about the mating bands, but I knew he searched for their hiding place.

  I had baby clothes made. Hana even threw a few stitches. The child wasn’t born yet, but it had a full set of leathers in every color, unisex of course. Lara’s father made him a teething ring, somewhat ingenious. They took the rubber leather, made a tube and filled it with liquid. The baby could chew on it or swing it around without harm.

  Ute carved a crib. Torrin, Gia’s father, made a mobile. Apparently, he was a master whittler.

  The gifts kept pouring in every day. On average, there was a birth a year so the mother could expect to be smothered with love during pregnancy. This year, I was the fi
fth pregnancy. A virtual population surge.

  The attention I could deal with, but all the advice. Wow. It nigh on killed me to keep quiet. They all meant well. Their excitement for me was palpable. And this was the first time I ever felt like I belonged with the Fost, that I’d found my place.

  Finn popped in multiple times. He made a basinet for the child and had more clothes made. His visits were strictly supervised by Marin, of course, but were more frequent than before. He apologized the first time he saw me for how he acted that day in the snow. I didn’t think he meant it. Pride and possession still glowed in his eyes when he glanced at me.

  The baby brought Zanth out of his shell. He relished the idea of being an uncle. He read even more books than I did on childbirth and babies. He wanted to be the one to catch the baby but, well, eww.

  One of the midwives from Clan Forik would deliver my child. The plans were all in place. The nursery was ready and I still had three months to go. It was right around this time that I started to show.

  I’d been here over half a year. I couldn’t believe it. The baby was a lively little anteater. His favorite activity in the whole wide world was “kick the bladder.” He loved that game. Me, not so much. I was certain it was a boy.

  “What about names?” I asked Marin one morning while I ate some gruel. Yay, for gruel.

  “What do you like?”

  Hmm. “How about Zack for a boy maybe, after my father? Or Accia after yours.”

  “Not my father,” he said automatically.

  Neither of us had the best parental units. And if I were honest, I didn’t want to name the baby after my dad as well. Well then. “Why don’t we let the baby choose?”

  “What?” He raised his eye brows.

  “You ever look at a baby and thought, ‘That doesn’t look like a so and so.’ Why don’t we wait to see what the baby looks like?” But no Bertha or Bubba’s, that was mean. “What about a girl?”

  “Hope,” Marin replied without hesitation.

  “Hope. I like it.” Hope.

  “Can we make the girl’s middle name Mary after my mother?”

  “Middle name?” Marin asked.

  “Do you have those here?”

  “Not that I am aware of,” he said.

  “Huh. I get to set a trend.”