A Fluid State

by Rob Browatzke

As he finished prepping dinner, he wondered what kind of twisted sadist even came up with a vegetarian lasagna? Spinach and peppers were great, but they were no meat sauce. The things fathers did for sons!

  “Dad!” Peter called. “Andrew just pulled up!”

  Patrick’s heart rate sped up. He looked around, making sure everything was somewhat clean, and then opened the door before Andrew had a chance to knock. Andrew was standing there, and the first thing Patrick saw was the bouquet of flowers in his hand.

  “For me?” he asked.

  Andrew smiled. “Well, I didn’t want to disappoint.”

  “You could never.” Patrick took the flowers and as he did, Andrew leaned in for a kiss, and for a split second, Patrick realized they were in public, and people could see, and what would the neighbors think, but then he realized he didn’t remotely care.

  It was the briefest of kisses, no more than a peck really, the kind you’d give at the end of a hard day at work, but even so, it still sent electricity down Patrick’s spine. He pulled his lips back from Andrew’s and drank in the green of his eyes.

  “Is there something on my face?” Andrew asked.

  “Not yet,” Patrick replied.

  Andrew shook his head. “You’re terrible.”

  “No, what’s terrible is this vegetarian lasagna thing I made.”

  “Poor little carnivore. Don’t worry. You can barbecue this weekend.”

  Patrick exhaled. “Thank god.” He chuckled.

  “Are you guys smooching?” Peter called from inside. “Come in, Andrew.”

  “Someone’s excited to see me,” Andrew said.

  “Two someones.” He wrapped his arm around Andrew’s waist and squeezed him.

  They walked into the living room like that. Peter was sprawled out on the couch and looked up from his phone. He rolled his eyes. “You were smooching, weren’t you?”

  “So what if we were?” Patrick asked. “Does that bother you?”

  Yes.” Peter paused. “Not because you’re gay though. Just because you’re my Dad and that’s gross.”

  “Dads and Moms need smooches too.”

  “Gross.” He looked back down at his phone.

  “The phone has even got him to stop watching your Drag Race,” Patrick told Andrew. “The phone is his new everything.”

  “There’s no new episodes, Dad.”

  “Yah, Dad,” Andrew said, poking Patrick in the side.

  Patrick pushed Andrew away playfully. “Peter, go wash up for dinner. It’s almost ready.”

  Phone in hand, Peter rushed upstairs to his bathroom. Patrick turned to Andrew and gave him a more proper kiss. When their tongues touched, he just wanted to inhale Andrew, every part of him. Just absorb him. The kiss broke apart and he let out a pained moan.

  “You realized Peter called you gay,” Andrew said.

  “What? Oh. I guess he did.”

  “Did that bother you?”

  Patrick shrugged. “Not if it means I get to kiss you again.”

  Andrew smiled. “Well, okay, if you insist.”

  Patrick pulled Andrew’s face to his. Their mouths had barely met before Peter came stomping down the stairs with a groan. “Daaaaaad!”

  “Caught,” Andrew whispered. “Sorry, Peter.”

  Patrick felt his face burning as he took a deliberate step away from Andrew. Distance was the only way to not touch him. “Okay, let’s eat.”

  §

  “Well, it wasn’t horrible,” Andrew said later, when dinner was done and they were kicking back in the yard, beers in hand and a fire blazing.

  Patrick agreed. It hadn’t been bad. “Would’ve been better with meat though.”

  “You’re a good cook. I think I’ve told you that before.”

  “I enjoy it. I’m glad it turned out okay.”

  “Peter just raced straight back to his phone, hey?”

  Patrick let out an exasperated snort. “I can’t imagine what he and Britney still have to talk about. They’re back and forth all day long.”

  “It’s the most exciting part though,” Andrew said. “That part when you know they like you and they know you like them and you just want to know everything there is to know about them.”

  Patrick looked at Andrew. “Are we still talking about the kids?”

  Andrew smiled guiltily. “Maybe not.”

  “Ask me anything,” he said. “No point in any secrets at this stage in the game.”

  “There’s nothing specific. I just want to know it all.”

  “Pick something.”

  Andrew thought for a minute, then asked, “What would you do if you weren’t in the army?”

  Patrick sipped his beer. “I’ve thought about that before. I certainly won’t be enlisted forever, of course. I told you it was mostly about my dad, why I joined in the first place, but I certainly found something more meaningful in it. But when I’m done? It’s probably time for something new.” He took another sip. “I don’t know though.”

  “You could cook. Like be a chef.” Patrick raised an eyebrow. “Seriously. You’re actually that good.”

  “I’ve thought about it, to be honest. Wouldn’t know where to start though.” He took another sip. “I guess it’s probably time though. I’ll be out before I know it.”

  “I’ve been out for a long time,” Andrew said, with a wink.

  “Cute. What about you? What would you do other than drag?”

  Andrew sighed. “That’s the $69 question, isn’t it?”

  “I don’t think that’s the expression.”

  “Hey, I like sixty-nine.”

  “Maybe later, if you ask nice.”

  Andrew grinned. “But I honestly don’t know. Ann is such a part of me. I don’t know that that would ever really change.”

  “What do you like most about it?”

  “Easy. The making everyone feel welcome. Lots of queens, they think being bitchy is what it’s about. I just want to make people laugh, make them feel appreciated.”

  “You are a pretty funny guy. And I don’t just mean your looks.”

  “You’re hilarious.”

  Patrick made a little kissy-face and they both chuckled, and then sank back in the chairs. This was happiness, Patrick thought. It was simple and common, and just pure happiness. The sky was cloudless, and just starting to darken. Occasionally, the fire would crackle and send up a flurry of sparks. Beside him, Andrew was stretched out, beer in hand, eyes closed, clearly enjoying the moment as much as Patrick was.

  He wasn’t funny-looking at all, though, Patrick thought. In fact, there wasn’t a part of him that wasn’t beautiful. Especially his lips. That’s where this all started, Patrick realized, right here in this yard, just like this, with Patrick noticing those lips.

  “You’re staring at me.”

  “What? Your eyes were closed! How did you know?”

  Andrew sat up. “Gay men always know when they’re being cruised.”

  “Like a Spidey sense?”

  “Exactly. Why were you staring?”

  “Just thinking how good your lips looked, and how much I want to kiss them.”

  “What’s stopping you then?”

  Patrick sat up, and threw his legs over the side of the chair. Andrew shuffled to the edge of his seat. Patrick put his hands on Andrew’s knees and leaned in, closing his eyes, which was when both chairs tipped out from underneath them and they went tumbling to the ground in a sudden collapse.

  They lay there, half gasping for air, half laughing, and then Andrew rolled onto his elbow and looked down at Patrick. “Try again?”

  Patrick nodded, and reached up to pull Andrew’s face down to his. He’d been wrong before, he realized. The yard and the sky and the quiet, they were close to happiness, but this, Andrew’s lips, was the real thing.

  ANDREW

  Andrew had kissed a lot of guys in his life. A lot. Some had been good, some not so much; some had meant something, some not so much. Sometimes, they’d been amazing but me
aningless at the same time. With Patrick, it was different. He could feel the kisses everywhere. Even if it was just their lips touching, every nerve ending throughout his body burned with the intensity of them.

  He sunk down onto Patrick, there in the short-cut grass. He could feel the heat from the fire behind him, but it was nothing compared to that kiss. Patrick’s hands raced up and down Andrew’s back. Andrew could feel their strength, and wanted nothing more than to feel them next to his bare skin again. He wanted to suck Patrick, get sucked by him. He wanted finally to fuck him. But until that could happen, he wanted to kiss him.

  Maybe he didn’t know what he’d do if it was ever time to hang up Ann’s wigs, but he knew he didn’t know what he’d do if these kisses got taken away.

  “You’re staying over, right?” Patrick asked, when he pulled his head back, leaving Andrew gasping for more kisses.

  “If you want.”

  “I want.” He buried his face in Andrew’s neck, nuzzling, nibbling. “Oh God, I want.”

  “Peter?”

  “He’ll be sleeping soon.”

  “Good.” Andrew pushed himself up. “We better hold off then.”

  Patrick had a pained expression on his face. “But...”

  “Oh believe me. Your butt is on my agenda, but if we don’t hold off, I’m going to fuck you right here in the yard.”

  “The neighbors might not like that.”

  “Depends on the neighbors, I guess.” Andrew nipped at Patrick’s mouth one last time and then jumped to his feet.

  “Spoilsport.”

  “Believe me, it’s not what I want to do. I’d like nothing more than tearing off your clothes right now.”

  “Soon,” Patrick said. “Soon.”

  Patrick grabbed them both fresh beers, and they sat there small-talking as the sun finished sinking. As the first stars popped out, Patrick sighed. “Guess it’s time for me to get that kid to bed.”

  “Assuming you can get him away from the phone?”

  “Assuming.”

  Andrew watched Patrick walk into the house. He really did love this man, and not just because of that magnificent ass he couldn’t get enough of. Still, that’s where his eyes lingered. He thought briefly that maybe he should start working out a bit more than the few times a month Brandon and Aaron persuaded him to go with them.

  It was a brief thought though. Patrick could be the hot one. Andrew would be the funny one.

  “What are you thinking about?”

  Andrew blinked and saw Patrick standing over him, all thighs and arms and bulge. “That I’m the funny one.”

  “Oh you are, are you? What does that make me?”

  “I guess you can be the good looking one.”

  “Yah?” Patrick put his hands on the lawn chair frame and leaned down. “I guess I can be okay with that.” His lips brushed Andrew’s. “Although,” he went on, “you’re pretty good looking yourself.”

  “You’re just saying that to get me into bed.”

  “Guilty.” Patrick kissed him again, this time a bit more deeply.

  “How long does it take Peter to fall asleep?”

  Patrick laughed. “Soon. Another drink?”

  “I’m good actually. “

  Patrick sat down in the empty chair. “Me too, honestly.”

  Andrew lay back and closed his eyes, only to open them suddenly when he felt Patrick’s hand take his. He looked down between the chair where Patrick was holding his hand.

  “What’s this?”

  “Patrick shrugged. “Shut up.”

  Andrew chuckled, and squeezed Patrick’s hand. Patrick squeezed his back, and Andrew stretched back out, his eyes closed.

  §

  “Psst.”

  Andrew opened his eyes.

  “You dozed off,” Patrick said.

  Andrew sat up. “Really? Oh god, sorry. I-”

  “Don’t worry. You didn’t snore. And it was only a few minutes really.”

  “The fire’s out.”

  “Yah. I just doused it. I thought Peter would be asleep by now.” He stood up and held out his hand. “If you wanted to go inside?” He dropped his hand. “I mean, you can sleep out here if you want, but my bed might be a bit more comfortable.”

  Andrew punched his shoulder. “Shut up. I was just relaxed.”

  Patrick smiled. “And I’m glad. That you’re relaxed around me. Things were a little tense at the beginning.”

  “Because you were a straight guy I wanted very badly to fuck.”

  “Well, I guess things change,” Patrick said, pulling Andrew to his feet and kissing him.

  Andrew pulled back. “I guess you’re right.”

  Patrick’s hand slid down Andrew’s arm until their fingers intertwined and then Andrew let Patrick lead him into the house. This felt different than the other times, fuelled as those were by alcohol or crazy, immediate need. Oh, that need was still there, and was already sending pulses shivering through Andrew’s body, but this was so much more planned, deliberate, and intense.

  They both knew what was coming. They both wanted it. They were both ready. Even if there wasn’t penetration tonight, it was going to be incredible. Andrew could already tell.

  They stepped inside the bedroom and Patrick shut the door behind him. The clicking of the lock sent the blood racing to Andrew’s dick. Patrick grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head, and Andrew took in the sight of his torso. He reached out, running his fingers through the hair, tracing lines over his pecs and down his abs and then grabbing him by his pants.

  Patrick had made the date. Patrick had made the dinner. Patrick had led him to the room, but here, Andrew was taking charge. He pulled Patrick towards him. Patrick’s mouth opened to accept Andrew’s tongue and Andrew shoved his hand into Patrick’s pants to find him already hardening.

  He wanted to suck this man’s cock. “Bed,” he said, pointing.

  Patrick raised an eyebrow, then grinned. “Yes sir,” he said, with a playful salute.

  Andrew growled, at the sight of this gorgeous man who was his to devour. He pushed Patrick down and climbed on top of him, pulling off his own shirt as he did. Patrick’s hands were immediately on him, thumbs brushing both nipples at once, and Andrew’s body broke out in goosebumps. He leaned down and nibbled his way from Patrick’s lips, to his chin, down his neck, and across his chest.

  Patrick’s hands were on Andrew’s shoulders and Andrew could feel Patrick’s hips thrusting up. He didn’t need to be asked. He shifted his body down and popped open Patrick’s pants. He shot Patrick a grin and yanked pants and briefs down in one movement. Patrick’s cock sprung free and bounced hard against his abs. Andrew took it in his hand and stroked it admiringly.

  “Love your dick.” He licked it once, from balls to head, then took it in his mouth. Patrick fell back against the mattress, tangling his fingers in Andrew’s hair.

  Andrew lost himself in the moment, trying to memorize every detail of Patrick’s dick. His tongue traced the ridge of his cockhead, running up and over. Patrick let out a soft moan, which only inspired Andrew to deep throat it. He sucked him, his hands busy pulling Patrick’s pants the rest of the way off.

  “Fuck,” Patrick groaned.

  Andrew looked up at him, lying there with his mouth open, and his dick throbbed. He needed Patrick’s mouth on him. He stood up, feet planted firmly on either side of Patrick, and pulled down his pants.

  “Want!” Patrick said, reaching up for Andrew’s dick, and Andrew was happy to oblige.

  Andrew dropped down, his knees on either side of Patrick’s shoulders, and fed his cock into Patrick’s waiting mouth. He let out a sigh. It felt so good. Patrick’s mouth was warm and wet and welcoming, and Andrew leaned forward, his hands gripping the headboard, so he could gently fuck Patrick’s mouth. He went slow though, letting Patrick control how far he went into his mouth. Patrick was still new to it, and as much as Andrew just wanted to let go and facefuck him hard, Patrick probably wasn’t
there yet.

  He was good though. Some guys were just naturally talented, Andrew supposed, and the way Patrick’s hands on Andrew’s hips helped control the speed and angle of Andrew’s thrusts was perfect. Andrew needed in his ass.

  “That feels so good,” he said, pulling out of Patrick’s mouth and dropping onto the mattress next to him. Their lips met, hands on each other’s cocks, stroking slowly.

  “Can you do something?” Patrick asked.

  “Anything. Absolutely anything.”

  “I want you to eat me again.”

  Andrew growled. “Gladly.” Patrick grinned. “Roll over,” Andrew told him.

  Andrew leaned down and kissed Patrick’s shoulder, then licked his way down Patrick’s spine. His feet were planted on the headboard and he pushed himself down a bit further, his tongue gliding over the dimpled valley just above Patrick’s ass. He took a cheek in each hand, squeezed them gently, then more firmly, then pulled them apart, and slid his tongue down Patrick’s crack, up and down the sides, before zeroing in on his hole.

  Patrick spasmed beneath him, and Andrew tightened his grasp on Patrick’s cheeks, pulling them further apart and working his tongue into him. Patrick’s hands gripped Andrew’s legs as Andrew pressed his face down, smothering himself in Patrick’s ass. He was just tongue and lips and teeth, sucking, nibbling.

  “God, I love that,” Patrick said, the words hushed and breathy.

  Andrew smiled and playfully smacked Patrick’s ass, earning him a gasp. “Hey!” Patrick said. Andrew responded by pulling Patrick’s cheeks apart again and running his tongue around the edges of his puckered asshole.

  “Okay, this angle isn’t really working for me,” he said, and they both laughed a bit as Andrew repositioned himself between Patrick’s legs, wrapped his arms around Patrick’s thighs, and lifted him up. He ran his nose and mouth up and down the crack again, from taint to top. “Better,” he said, his tongue circling once again. “Much better.” He buried his face in deep and Patrick groaned.

  Andrew could feel his cock throbbing and leaking, and the thought of burying his shaft in Patrick’s beautifully tight ass made him contort with need. He spit into his hand and reached around to grab Patrick’s dick. Patrick groaned again.

  “C’mere,” Patrick said. “Up here.”