Riding for Redemption

by Bonnie R. Paulson

  “I don’t think that’s going to help much.” Sara Beth pushed out through quivering lips.

  The nurse briskly yanked Sara Beth’s current blanket from her form. “Just wait. We put these in the warming ovens by the nurses’ station.” She unfolded each blanket to lie directly onto Sara Beth.

  Immediate heat acted like a salve, and Sara Beth’s tremors disappeared. “Oh, wow, that’s amazing. Thank you.” She couldn’t keep her eyes from closing under the warming onslaught.

  The nurse then pulled the original blanket over Sara Beth and her new toastier covers. “I brought this IV packet, too. It should warm up the fluids before going in your arm.” She pulled the packet up over the bag and secured it with a cord around the metal hook holding the bag suspended above the bed. Patting Sara Beth’s shoulder, she nodded. “That should help. Now let us know if you start to get too cold again. Your sensors are out of whack and you need to pay attention, okay?”

  Sara Beth reveled in the warmth of the blankets. After the nurse left, she looked at Rosie. “I didn’t even know I was cold. Usually, I feel it in my legs or my feet, but I...” She swallowed back tears and a frustrated scream which had been stuck in the back of her throat for days. “Anyway, we covered the first point. I’ll deal with that later. What’s the rest?”

  “You’re going to be in here a while.” Rosie watched Sara Beth carefully, as if she might actually go into a seizure. She rushed on with no immediate reaction visible. “We have to wait until the apparent swelling of the spinal cord goes down before they can know for sure, what the prognosis is. I can’t get a nurse in for two more weeks because a physical therapist also has to be involved. I’m looking for the best. You deserve the best.” She shut her mouth, her words trailing off into the room like fading smoke.

  Sara Beth’s short one-burst laugh burst through the smoky words like an arrow. “We can’t afford the best. We can’t afford for me to stay in here. Not on the small amount you make waitressing two nights a week. What do you think will happen? I’m going to stand and walk tomorrow?” She leaned forward as far as her limitations would allow and poked at her thigh. “I can’t even sit on the toilet like this. I’m stuck in this stupid bed. You live with your boyfriend. I know —” Sara Beth held up her hand. “You’re not sleeping with him, you’re just dating.” She rolled her eyes, gritting her teeth. “But that doesn’t change the fact that you now have an invalid for a sister. Who’s going to want that around forever, right? It’s me and I don’t want me around.”

  How fast would they get evicted from the ranch now? Where would they go? Sara Beth couldn’t work. She’d burden Rosie for the rest of their lives.

  Heaving backwards against the bed, Sara Beth looked toward the ceiling, pissed at the tears threatening to push her over the edge as well as choke her to death as she held her emotions back. “What else do you have to tell me?” Her strangled whisper demanded Rosie share it fast and then get going. Sara Beth didn’t want anyone there to see her lose it.

  “I’m... I mean, well, last night... in the garden... Michael proposed.” She awkwardly held up her left hand where a brilliant sparkling circle marked Rosie has Rourke territory.

  Sara Beth dropped her chin, but kept her mouth shut for the full minute the news took to sink in. Staring at the ring, Sara Beth wanted to scream. Who the hell was Rosie anyway? Getting engaged while her only – okay, not only by technical terms – but still only sister lay held up in the hospital? How could she just move on?

  “Say something, Sara Beth.” Rosie’s eyes pleaded as she lowered her hand and hid it in her lap.

  Instead of laughing at Rosie and her obvious need for Sara Beth’s approval, Sara Beth just gave it to her. “That’s great. Congratulations. It’s a beautiful ring.” She pushed her tongue against the flat surface of the back of her top teeth.

  Get out. She wanted to scream. Not because she wasn’t happy for her sister, but because she couldn’t be happy for herself.

  “See? I can get you the best help.” Rosie’s eyes lit up, hope curling her lips into a smile meant to reassure Sara Beth.

  “You mean, Michael can.” Folding her arms under the warm blankets, Sara Beth shook her head. “No, thanks. I don’t know what I’m going to do, but I can’t take charity for this. I don’t... want help.” She didn’t want to need it.

  “No, you need physical therapy.” Rosie’s smile faltered and she glanced at Sara Beth’s inert legs. “And I know you don’t want help, but it’s unavoidable, Sara Beth. I’m sorry that you’re going through this. I really am. I wouldn’t wish this on Caracus himself. But, you are and I’m here to help you. Michael wants to help. We can take care of you.”

  “I don’t want to be taken care of!” Sara Beth sobbed, the tears pushing the wall of control just to the edge, almost spilled.

  Rosie jerked back, like Sara Beth had slapped her.

  Johnny appeared in the doorway, his knuckle out to rap on the open doorway. “Sara Beth, I have a puzzle—” His gaze fell on Rosie and then darted to Sara Beth. His eyebrows lifted and he paused entering the room. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you had company today. I’ll wait out here.” He offered politely and ducked back the way he came.

  Rosie turned to Sara Beth, eyes wide and lips slightly parted. “What is he doing here?”

  “He’s been here every day visiting me since I arrived.” Sara Beth lifted her chin. If Rosie could move on, then Sara Beth didn’t have any problem trying to do the same. Not that she could move much as a paraplegic.

  “Every day? Do you know why he’s not working for his own uncle anymore? He sexually harassed a woman. And there’re rumors that he might have assaulted her. I don’t think you need to be around him. From what I understand, he can’t even get a job anywhere.” Rosie lowered her voice to a raised whisper. “I’ll have hospital security remove him.”

  “No, you will not. That is ridiculous.” Sara Beth refused to hide their conversation. “He’s not sexually harassing me, Rosie. And yeah, he’s visited me. He’s been the only one. I know I told you not to come, but he came and didn’t ask. He rescued me.” She considered her sister for a moment before adding, “He needs a job and I want you to make sure he gets one at Rourke Ranch.”

  Hospitals, late at night, had a terrible habit of leaving one feeling worse than alone and Johnny had dispelled that feeling every day for Sara Beth. Her debt to him stacked against her.

  “I don’t feel comfortable with him being here.” Rosie pressed her lips together and shook her head. “Let alone with us at the ranch.”

  “Well, that’s too bad. I like him. He’s very nice and we have a lot to talk about.” Sara Beth shrugged. “Please, make it happen. He deserves our help.”

  “You know boys are only after one thing, Sara Beth.” Rosie lifted one eyebrow and shook her finger at Sara Beth with all the wisdom she could muster.

  A sharp bark of laughter burst from Sara Beth. “You have to be kidding me, right? Have you seen me? No one is going to want to take me on. I’m a mess. Plus, he’s from the Circuit. Do you have any idea how many beautiful women he’s around all the time? I wouldn’t stand a chance.” She reached out and ran her fingers on her leg to her shin and back to her thigh. “Not that I have any chance with anyone like this, you know?”

  “I heard the woman is suing the Circuit for millions.” Rosie’s hushed whisper trimmed Sara Beth’s already slim patience.

  “I don’t care. Please, make sure Michael gives him a job. We were down on our luck a few times, too. Give him a hand up, please!” Sara Beth didn’t ask. She didn’t feel like it and if she asked, then it would open up room for an argument.

  Rosie considered Sara Beth. “A job? That’s it? This isn’t like a ploy to somehow get into the Circuit yourself?”

  “Seriously? They would never even consider me. And yes, that’s it. Keep him around. He’s a good guy. I’ve really enjoyed getting to know him.” Surprised at the truth behind that statement, Sara Beth really hoped Rosie and M
ichael would hire Johnny for the ranch. If nothing else, Sara Beth might be able to see her friend more.

  Because no matter what Rosie suggested, Sara Beth and Johnny could only ever be friends.

  Sara Beth

  Chapter 8

  Just inside the door, Johnny leaned back to peek down the hall. Returning to his normal stance, he screwed his lips to the side, enhancing the slight dimple in his chin. “That sounded pretty intense.” He ducked inside, placing a colorful box of puzzle pieces on the counter by the sink.

  Sara Beth waved him in. “You have no idea.” She gnawed on the inside of her lip – a habit she’d picked up from Rosie.

  Hat in hand, Johnny claimed his normal seat beside her bed and leaned back at just the right angle to cast a sheen of gold across his blond hair. “So, you seem upset. What’s going on?”

  Having grown close to her new friend over the last seven days, Sara Beth shrugged slightly and huffed. “Honestly? I’m not sure I’ve really accepted any of this yet? Or like Rosie would say, I haven’t had a chance to assimilate the information.” She lifted her thumb and switched from chewing her inner lip to the cuticle and fingernail.

  “Wow, she sounds like an engineer.” He rested his chin in his hand. “What is it that has you all worked up?”

  She shifted her gaze to the plastic bed railing, careful not to allow her confused emotions into their conversation – yeah, she just didn’t want to cry in front of him. “The doctors said I most likely won’t walk again.” Her lips didn’t want to form the phrase properly and her tongue tripped on the syllables.

  “Hey, that doesn’t mean anything.” His husky voice dropped lower. “Sara Beth, look at me.” Concern marred the smooth skin between his eyebrows and puckered his lower lip. “The wording they’re using says you ‘most likely’ won’t. They aren’t saying you never will. They just want to set you up so that you’re not disappointed, if you don’t walk again. That way you can’t sue them for saying you might walk again when you never do. Does that make sense?”

  She held up her hands in defeat. “I don’t know... maybe.”

  Johnny leaned forward, grabbing the railing and shaking it enough to gain her full attention. “No, not maybe. They don’t get to decide if you walk again – you do. I heard the nurse and doctor talking while I was waiting. It’s just paralysis from inflammation. Do you know what that means? It means the inflammation can go down. You might not be paralyzed for the rest of your life. It also means you might be. Who knows?” He lifted his ankle to his knee and leaned back again. “The only person, who can guarantee anything, is you.”

  Chest tight, Sara Beth glared. “I can’t guarantee anything. I don’t even understand what’s happening to me. Everything has changed. I can’t have anything that I wanted now. I’ll be...” She swallowed, betrayal bitter on her tongue. “I’ll be relying on someone else to help me to the bathroom for who knows how long.”

  His resounding laugh shook her, and Sara Beth couldn’t help the giggle that escaped like a bubble popping. She looked around for the joke or clown. “Why are we laughing?”

  “You sound like you’re a glass-half-empty kinda gal. Look on the bright side.” He winked and imitated a strong southern drawl. “I rescued you, like a knight in shining armor and you get to look at me every day. Doesn’t that just make you tingly?”

  Through gasps while she laughed, Sara Beth barely replied. “You. Just. Said. Ting. Ly. Oh my word, that’s. Hilarious.”

  “I hardly think tingly is gender-owned, do you?” But he tapped his thumb on the sole of his boot which he rested on his knee – a sure sign that he’d pleased himself at his joke.

  She pressed her hand to her chest, trying to calm her breathing. Soberness settled over her and she considered him with her lips in a slight duck-pout. “You don’t have to come and visit, you know. I get that you feel guilty, but you didn’t do this. You didn’t cause this.”

  All joviality slid from his demeanor. “Stop it. I’m not doing this with you every time I see you.” He slapped his hat brim on his leg, irritation crisping his movements. “You want honesty? At first, I stayed because I felt bad for you. Pity brought me back the next day. But now? I’m coming back because my friend is in the hospital and I haven’t got anything better to do but visit her sorry ass.” He thrust his jaw to the side, challenging Sara Beth to say more. “You should meet her when she’s not throwing herself a melodramatic-pity-party. You’d like her.”

  Rolling her eyes, Sara Beth pshed. “Fine. I’ll stop. But I have something I want to tell you.” Excited to be able to surprise him, Sara Beth rushed her words in a verbal avalanche. “Rosie promised to get you a job on the ranch through Michael. You’ll probably get a call or something from them, just a head’s up.”

  A long drawn-out silence wasn’t exactly the reaction she’d expected. “Aren’t you excited? I know I am. I’ll get to see you, if I make it out of here alive.” Her sorry-excuse-for-a-joke fell flat and she replaced her hopeful expression with a frown. “Johnny, seriously, why aren’t you saying anything?”

  Finally he spoke, his deadpan expression nearly matching his monotone. “I don’t want a job because you got it for me. That defeats the purpose. Plus, I can get Michael to give me a job. He owes me.”

  “What does he owe you?” Cryptic messages and emotionless deliveries annoyed Sara Beth, and Johnny knew it. But for whatever reason, he employed both and didn’t elaborate even as her irritation grew.

  “Maybe we can discuss it another time.” He stood, placing his hat so a shadow covered his eyes. “I better go. I’ll see you tomorrow. We can do the puzzle then.”

  “Hey.” Sara Beth slapped the table beside her. She waited for Johnny to look at her before continuing. “Don’t give me a hard time about my problems when I offer to help you and you quit the conversation. You wanted the job there. Have a problem with how you got it? Suck it up. Look at the bright side, remember? You get to see me. We’ll get to hang out. And you have the job without having to call in any favors.” She crossed her arms. “The way I see it, you owe me that favor.”

  Nodding his head a half-notch, Johnny tucked his thumbs into his belt loops. “Okay, I’ll give you that one. Not the favor but the point. Thank you. I’ll see you tomorrow, trouble.” And he touched the brim of his hat, leaving the same way he came.

  Dumbfounded at his sudden departure, Rosie reclined her bed to a more comfortable setting. She reached for the box with the pictures in it and fingered the edge of a corner as she contemplated the twists in her life. She’d lost her legs but gained Johnny. Not a bad trade, considering she’d never had friends before, let alone hung out with such a hot guy. And he was hot, like deliciously hot. But he was her friend. She couldn’t offer him anything sweeter than friendship. Would he even be interested?

  But that aside, Sara Beth finally grinned at Rosie’s engagement. The two had been dating long enough. Maybe, if she was lucky, Sara Beth planned on quizzing Rosie up and down for the details.

  What a whirlwind of emotions. Rosie had Sara Beth convinced she’d never walk again – no chance, even if she didn’t say those exact words. And then Johnny... well, he’d given her a small grain of hope that maybe she could pull out of the ghost-legs situation she found herself in and move forward with her plans for the future.

  She yawned, her jaw popping with the force.

  The visits from both Rosie and Johnny had taken a toll. She needed a nap.

  Better yet, she needed her legs back.

  Sara Beth

  Chapter 9

  Six weeks later

  Time passed with aching slowness.

  Sara Beth scraped a pocket knife on the plastic handle of her wheelchair. She’d attempted whittling the hard material out of sheer boredom, but that hadn’t worked. She’d then determined to dull the heck out of the blade. Anything. Something. To keep her from the barn.

  Footsteps thudded on the wooden slats of the deck at Rourke Ranch, announcing visitors to her chosen place o
f seclusion. Two intruders dared come her way. Ugh.

  Sara Beth lifted her chin and tucked the half-worn-down blade into the side pocket of her chair. At least the stupid thing had pockets. One – just one – redeeming quality.

  Rosie cleared her throat and rounded the front of Sara Beth, coming to rest on the wide railing of the deck. Smack in the middle of Sara Beth’s view of the plains and beyond that the river and trees.

  Michael joined Rosie, clasping her hand in his as he snuggled close to her side. “How you doin’, Sara Beth?”

  She redirected her gaze from the glimpses of waving grain between their shoulders to his face. Plastering her fakest-I’m-so-happy-I-could-puke-rainbows smile on her face, Sara Beth’s syrupy sweet voice dripped on the slight breeze swirling around them. “I’m just dandy, Michael. Thanks. What can I do for you both?”

  Rosie bent at the waist to place herself directly in Sara Beth’s view. “Sara Beth? We know you’re not doing well.” She shook off Michael’s warning hand on her arm. Her voice rose an octave – okay, maybe two. “You don’t do anything but sit here and abuse your chair. I know it’s been three weeks, but come on, you have to try. You have to do something.” She slammed her hands on either of the armrests of Sara Beth’s chair.

  Disbelief warred with anger inside Sara Beth. Like Rosie had stolen her ability to breathe, Sara Beth panted louder and harder as she allowed Rosie’s words to enflame her always-present anger. “What would you like me to do, Rosie? Go for a ride? How about a run? I know! I’ll help you plant things in your garden.”

  Crossing her arms, Rosie stood, thrusting her hip out. “I’m sick of fighting with you. Michael and I just wanted to know if you needed us to wait until you got better for the wedding or...” She glanced at Michael as if seeking help on the phrasing.

  “Or if I don’t think I’m going to get better?” Sara Beth adjusted her gaze to watch the roving winds playing in the leaves along the maple trees at the edge of the property line. “I don’t care. If you wait until I’m better, you’ll never get hitched.”