Impassioned: A Salvation Society Novel

by Lea Coll

  My chest tightened. I was disappointed in myself. My words were detached as if this dinner was merely a thank you when I’d intended it to be so much more.

  “Anytime.” Her expression was bittersweet as she used wooden forks to transfer the salad to her bowl.

  She was the type of woman who helped out when she was needed, but I’d hoped Everett and me were different somehow. We weren’t one of her many friends I’d seen her pictured with on social media at various parties and outings, but someone she’d anchor to, drifting with the waves, together.

  When Everett was done, I stood, serving Mia a steak and potato, then me.

  An awkward silence fell over the table. Everett was used to not talking, but I hadn’t had a guest at my table in a long time.

  “Do you like your new home, Everett?” Mia asked.

  “It’s okay. I guess anything is better than living with Grandma and Grandpa. Grandpa’s not bad. He’s never around, but Grandma’s always nagging me.”

  Mia exchanged an amused glance with me.

  I laughed. I wanted to say I would be the one nagging him now, but he’d figure it out soon enough. Nagging didn’t stop until you lived on your own.

  Mia pointed her fork at Everett. “You know, your grandparents and your dad just want the best for you. They want you to be an independent adult one day who knows how to cook, wash his own clothes, and do dishes.”

  “That’s right. I’m raising you to be independent, self-sufficient—a man.” Military school taught me that, but I was the only one who’d teach Everett.

  It must have been the right thing to say because Everett didn’t respond. He didn’t sulk either.

  There was so much more I wanted to teach him. How to drive, how to treat women, and I’d be around for those moments.

  “Is your steak okay?” Mia asked.

  I hadn’t touched my food yet, the realization that I was the same as my dad threw me a little. “I was just thinking.”

  “About what?” Mia asked.

  I wasn’t sure if Everett was even listening to our conversation or he’d tuned us out, but I decided to tell the truth. “I was thinking how lucky I am to be here, not deployed, not working crazy hours. I’m not happy how we got here—” Everett stilled, and I knew he got my meaning that it took Rebecca leaving for it to happen. “I’m just happy.”

  Mia smiled at me, lighting me from the inside out. I’d never sought the approval of anyone besides my commanding officer, but I wanted her approval. I wanted to know that I was doing the right thing. That I wasn’t screwing my kid up. She’d said repeatedly I just needed to be here, make him a priority in my life. But he needed more. I hoped I could give it to him.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Mia

  My heart clenched when Mason spoke. I wanted to reach across the table, squeezing his hand to reassure him that he’d done the right thing. Instead, I smiled, hoping to convey the message without words. After that, we talked about Mason’s new job before he walked me to my car, Stark’s leash in his hand.

  I didn’t want to intrude on his evening any more than I already had. I wanted to head home

  to get used to my new normal—an empty house. I’d filled my life with friends to make up for my absent family. I’d saved and bought a house to fill it with a family one day, but I was no closer to reaching my goal. I enjoyed helping others, but lately, I felt more alone than ever. Would I ever escape the feeling I wasn’t enough?

  I kneeled in front of Stark, burying my head in his neck, stroking his back.

  “You can come visit him any time.”

  With one last squeeze, I stood, plastering a smile on my face knowing it wouldn’t be the

  same. “I know.”

  This evening watching Mason struggle with coming home and all the changes in his life, I knew it was time to take stock of mine instead of everyone else’s. I needed to focus on myself.

  Mason stepped closer, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. “I’d like to see you again.”

  “Okay.” I nodded. I should have asked if he meant as friends or something more, but my throat was so dry I was afraid to speak, afraid no sound would come out, but a croak.

  Mason smiled, taking a step back. “Drive safely.”

  I nodded, opening the door to my car then sliding in. While I pulled away, Mason stood, Stark sitting at his side. As much as I would miss him, Stark was where he belonged.

  The week passed slowly without the need to rush home to take Stark out for a walk. I felt adrift as if I had no purpose. It was ridiculous because I’d lived alone before.

  Thursday, Principal Bryant slapped my office doorframe to get my attention, setting my teeth on edge. “Someone spray-painted graffiti on the memorial.”

  I nearly groaned out loud. The memorial was created for a few high school kids who died in a car accident ten years ago. “Do you know who was responsible?” I kept my voice cool and professional even though I was worried Everett was involved.

  “Not yet, but I have an idea. Can you sit in when I talk to the kids?”

  I wanted to ask which kids he suspected but I didn’t. I shouldn’t be protecting one child over another even if I felt connected to him. “Of course.”

  “Call Mason Arrington, tell him I’m calling his son in. This time, I’ll need to call in the county’s school resource officer too.”

  My stomach sank. So far, Principal Bryant had been lenient with Everett, not calling the officer in when he vandalized the locker room.

  Principal Bryant slapped the door again and left. I didn’t have a choice, he was my boss.

  I dialed Mason’s number from my work phone, dread seeping through my veins, forming a pit in my stomach. As I listened to it ring, the knot wound tighter. “Mason here.”

  “Hi Mason.” My heart pounded in my ears.

  “Is everything okay?”

  I licked my dry lips, trying to find a way to tell him what he’d been afraid would happen. “No, it’s not. Principal Bryant wants to talk to Everett about something that happened.”

  “What was it this time?” He didn’t sound resigned. It was more like he was amped.

  “There’s graffiti on the memorial—the one the PTA erected for the students who were killed in a car accident.”

  “Why does he think Everett’s responsible?”

  “Honestly, I don’t know. He just said to call you.”

  Mason’s voice lowered, his tone uncertain. “You’d tell me if you knew, right?”

  I wished I could erase this for him. That I could hit rewind to find some way to stop Everett before he’d made this horrible choice.

  “Mason, I’m always honest with you.” Saying his name, even in my official capacity was intimate. It made me think of moments I’d be at liberty to use his name when we were alone or on a date.

  “Okay. Let me talk to my boss.”

  “I’m sorry, Mason. I’d hoped things were getting better.”

  “Me too, Mia. Me too.” This time his voice sounded resigned, defeated. He hung up without another word.

  I hated to hear it because there seemed to be little that made Mason doubt himself—parenthood being one of the only things I could think of. From everything he’d said, his career in the Navy had been successful.

  I tried to concentrate on taking notes on one of the students I’d met with, but my mind kept coming back to the situation with Everett. I wanted to know if any other boys or girls were suspected or if it was just Everett. Principal Bryant hadn’t asked me to call anyone else’s parents which wasn’t good.

  “You ready? The resource officer and Mr. Arrington are here,” Principal Bryant said from the doorway.

  “Sure.” I picked up a pad and pen, more for something to hold than anything else. I liked to observe everyone’s demeanor, their tells, their emotions, rather than have my head buried in useless notes.

  Everett and Mason were seated in the two chairs in front of the principal’s desk. The resource officer was leaning
against the wall, his tag indicated his last name was McConnell.

  “Morning,” I said.

  I sat in the chair against the wall, feeling a little out of place.

  Principal Bryant sat, folding his hands together on the desk. “We’re here because someone thought it would be a good idea to graffiti the memorial by the athletic field.”

  “Ms. Hatton explained that over the phone, but why are we here? What evidence do you have that Everett is responsible?” Mason asked.

  Principal Bryant’s gaze moved away from Mason as he shifted in his chair.

  It made me think there wasn’t a concrete reason for us to be here. I hoped Everett had nothing to do with it.

  “This is similar to the incident that happened in the locker room. Without any other evidence, it makes sense to question Everett first.” Principal Bryant leaned forward on his chair, resting his elbows on the desk.

  “You’re assuming he knows something?” Mason’s body was rigid.

  “You’re very defensive.” Principal Bryant pressed his hands together in front of his face.

  “I’m happy to talk to my son at home but unless you have something to go on, I’m not sure why we’re here, interrupting Everett’s classes and my work.”

  “Everett, do you know who did this?”

  Everett looked from the principal to me, and then to his dad. “I don’t. I promise. I’ve been staying away from those guys.”

  “Is there a group of kids causing trouble?” Principal Bryant asked.

  Everett’s lips drew into a straight line. “I don’t want to rat people out when I don’t know who did this.”

  “It sounds like he answered your original question. He doesn’t know who did the graffiti. I don’t think it’s fair to ask him to speculate as to who it could be,” Mason said.

  I had a relationship with Everett outside of work. Maybe he’d be more willing to talk to me than in front of his father, the principal, and the resource officer. “I’d be happy to talk to you after the meeting Everett. Just you and me.”

  “Can I say something?” Officer McConnell pushed off the wall, moving until he could see Everett’s face.

  “Of course. I wanted you here,” Principal Bryant said.

  “I don’t know what’s going on here, other than what Principal Bryant told me about the locker-room incident, but if there’s someone pressuring you, if you know something about the graffiti, please say something.”

  Everett’s nostrils flared, but his lips were pressed tightly together.

  “Everett, you can go back to class. Our doors are open if you need to talk to us.”

  Everett nodded before standing to leave.

  “Hey, have a good rest of the day, okay?” Mason grabbed Everett’s wrist.

  At Everett’s nod, he released his grip.

  When Everett left, Officer McConnell said, “I’d like your permission to meet with Everett. I want to help him, make sure he’s not being bullied, keep a closer eye on things.”

  I was grateful it seemed like he wanted to help Everett.

  Principal Bryant shifted in his seat. “This is why I called Officer McConnell. He works closely with students so they feel like they can come to him. He’s not here to investigate necessarily, just keep an eye on the students.”

  Mason glanced at me as if looking for my approval. When I nodded, he said, “Okay.”

  Mason stood, shaking Officer Connell’s hand. “I hope you’ll let me know if I should be concerned about anything?”

  “Of course. I always talk to Principal Bryant about concerns then the parents.”

  “Good.” Mason turned to me. “May I speak to you for a minute?”

  “Of course.” I followed him outside the room. “We can speak in my office.”

  I led him to my office, waiting for him to enter before shutting the door.

  “I’d say I was a little pissed to be called out of work when there’s no proof that Everett did anything, but I’m relieved the school resource officer is involved.”

  I sat across from him. “I am too. I hope he can be a positive influence.”

  “You’d tell me if my impression was wrong?”

  “Of course. The role of the resource officer is to befriend the students, to make them feel more comfortable around him, so they’ll come to him if they know something.”

  Mason nodded. “Good. I’d better head back to work. Let Mark know what’s going on.”

  “Good luck. I know you didn’t want work to know.”

  “It’s time. Like you said, anything could happen. He needs to know I have other priorities that sometimes take precedence.”

  Pride swelled in my chest that Mason was tackling things head-on instead of avoiding them. “I think you’re doing the right thing.”

  Something passed between us, acceptance, understanding before he nodded. “I’d better head back.”

  I walked him out, parting ways with him in the office. I wanted to keep things professional at work.

  Later that day as I was walking to my car, my phone vibrated with a message. I opened the door, settling into my seat to see who it was.

  Mason: Want to come to dinner Saturday night? To see Stark, of course.

  I hoped his playful tone meant things with his boss went well. I sighed, imagining Mason’s lips tugging into a smile, his eyes bright with humor.

  Mia: I’d love to—to see Stark, obviously.

  A smile spread over my face. Was Mason flirting with me? I could see him coming on strong to a woman in a bar, but this? I wouldn’t have thought invitations through text, innuendos, flirtations were his style, but it’s how he was with me. The idea that he was different with me, more intentional, spread like wildfire through my body, lighting up every nerve ending.

  He was a parent of one of my students. The owner of a dog I fostered. I probably wasn’t his usual type. I hoped I wasn’t making a mistake saying yes.

  One thing was certain—I couldn’t wait for Saturday.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Mason

  When Everett came home from school the evening of our second meeting with Principal Bryant, he talked to me without me having to ask any questions. It was the first time since I’d been back that he’d talk freely about anything happening at school. He talked a little about his classes, saying that baseball sign-ups were this week. He was worried that the graffiti incident would affect his ability to get on the team.

  I hoped that meant he was not involved. I was floored that he wanted to try out for a sport. I was for anything that would make him a part of the school, maybe even make some good friends. I didn’t ask any follow-up questions. I was afraid to upset the delicate balance.

  I couldn’t wait to tell Mia.

  I wanted to ask about the graffiti. If he knew anything, if he was protecting someone, but I didn’t. Mia’s original advice stuck with me. I’d wait him out. Even though he’d been involved in the locker-room incident, I didn’t think he’d do this. That was probably every parent’s first thought. I hoped I wasn’t making a mistake in trusting him.

  For our dinner with Mia on Saturday night, I’d planned a simple meal of spaghetti, meatballs, garlic bread, and salad. I hoped my dinner invitation wasn’t inappropriate. I’d invited her over on the premise that she missed Stark. I was teasing but hoped she’d accept. When she did, my pulse quickened at the idea of taking things with her further, seeing if we were on the same page.

  I had a plan for tonight. I wanted to see if there was anything between us. I was attracted to her, I loved being around her, but was she attracted to me? Or did she view me merely as a parent of one of her students? A pathetic one she had to coach through every step of parenting.

  When the doorbell rang, I was just pouring the hot spaghetti noodles into the colander. “Can you get that?” I called to Everett.

  His feet thundered down the steps to the entryway, then the door opening, voices getting louder as they came into the kitchen.

  “That’s g
reat, Everett,” Mia said, her eyes on him.

  “Did he tell you about baseball?” It was annoying I couldn’t play it cool for a minute.

  She appeared in the kitchen wearing a tight-fitted red shirt with dark-wash jeans that molded to her body, outlining every curve. “He did. I think it’s great.”

  I glanced at Everett who didn’t seem put out by her comment, so I said, “Me too.”

  Stark was running in circles around her, so Mia sunk to her knees, accepting his kisses as she scratched his ears. “Yes, I missed you too.”

  I pulled my gaze from the sight of her, eyes closed as she dodged Stark’s tongue. As Mia’s giggles filled the room, I poured noodles and sauce into a bowl, placing it on the table next to the salad and bread I’d put out earlier, suddenly nervous that the meal wouldn’t impress her.

  “Can I help?” Mia rose to her feet before washing her hands in the sink.

  “No. Everything’s ready.” It was nice having her in my space.

  I uncorked the wine I’d chosen for dinner, wanting this to seem more like a date than our last dinner even if it was only spaghetti. “Did you want a glass?”

  “Sure. I’d love one.” She waited while I poured one, sliding the glass across the counter to her.

  I was vaguely aware of Everett sitting at the table, already plating his food, while Mia tipped the glass to her lips, taking a sip. Red wine clung to her lips, as her tongue swept over them.

  The image of me kissing her lips was so strong I could taste the wine. Her eyes met mine, a charge passing between us. I held her gaze for a few seconds, wanting to be alone with her, so I could lift her onto the counter and step between her spread legs. I’d nibble her neck, her earlobe, teasing her before finally pressing my mouth to hers.