Dare to Love

by A. L. Brooks

  “So are you, like, my auntie’s girlfriend?”

  Carmen choked on the mouthful of water and, to her horror, spat half of it back out and over the front of her dress. Hells bloody bells!

  “Hang on, I’ll get a napkin!” Sophie shot off and returned a few moments later with a bunch of paper napkins in her hand.

  “Thank you.” Carmen dabbed at the water on her dress. All the while her face burned. God, how embarrassing!

  “Did it go down the wrong way?”

  Carmen looked up. The willowy girl looked genuinely concerned. “Yes, it must have. Thanks for the napkins.”

  “No problem.” Sophie sat next to Carmen. She crossed her long, jeans-clad legs and pushed her hair out of her face before resting her hands in her lap. “So, are you?”

  “I’m sorry, what?”

  “Are you Auntie Ash’s girlfriend?”

  More composed to handle the question at the second time of asking, Carmen managed a smile. “No, I’m not. We’re just friends.”

  “Oh.” Sophie sighed. “I wish she’d get another girlfriend.” She glanced over her shoulder as if to check her aunt couldn’t hear her. “I think she deserves one. She’s great.”

  Carmen tried not to show her alarm at Sophie’s open discussion of her aunt’s love life. “She is.”

  “How do you know each other?”

  “We met here, actually. My best friend had a tattoo done, and I came along to watch.”

  “Cool. What tattoo did she get? And where?”

  Carmen pointed at her hip. “Here. It’s black and white, and it shows a bird escaping from a cage.”

  “Does it mean something?”

  “It does. She recently got divorced.” Carmen shrugged. “I suppose like many people who get tattoos, she wanted something to commemorate her new life starting.”

  “Makes sense.”

  “Would you ever get one?” Somehow it was easy to talk to Sophie.

  “I’m not sure. I love watching her work, and I think it’s awesome how she creates the designs, but…” She grinned. “I’m not sure about the pain. I don’t think I’d like that bit.”

  Carmen laughed. “I think I agree with you. Besides, you’re still young; you’ve got plenty of time to decide.”

  “That’s true. And I’m not sure school would like it. Or my mum.” She rolled her eyes.

  “Mums aren’t supposed to approve of anything, are they? Isn’t that in the contract?”

  Sophie laughed. “Hah, that’s a good one.” The phone rang, and she stood. “I should get back to work. Don’t want the boss to sack me.”

  “Absolutely not. Although I’d put in a good word for you.”

  “Sweet.” Sophie hurried back to the front desk and picked up the phone.

  Carmen exhaled slowly. Okay, so the niece is lovely, and Ash does not seem to have a girlfriend. Apart from spitting water all over myself, the evening is going well so far .

  Her phone buzzed in her bag, which lay alongside her thigh. She fished it out and smiled ruefully at the message from Tamsyn she’d just received.

  Wait, I go away for a few days, and you turn all sapphic on me? I can’t believe I missed your big news! Call me when you get a chance x

  Carmen had told Maggie it was okay to share her revelation. She hoped Tamsyn wasn’t too upset at being left out—she had been Carmen’s friend for longer than Maggie after all. But the tone of the text message seemed to suggest she was taking it well.

  I will. Hopefully I didn’t shock you too much. It was great being able to talk to Maggie. And it will be good to talk to you about it too.

  She didn’t have to wait long for a reply.

  What are you doing tomorrow?

  Carmen laughed.

  Nothing. I’ll come to yours as soon as I’ve finished work.

  Perfect! Xx

  She had just slipped the phone back in her bag—after remembering to put it on silent mode—when Ash walked over.

  “All done.” She smiled widely.

  Carmen stood. “What were you working on?”

  “Just finished a piece that’s taken a few sessions to do. A mermaid, on her back.” Ash pointed at the woman who chatted to Sophie at the front desk. “Here, take a look.” Ash pulled her phone from her pocket, swiped a couple of times, and held up a picture for Carmen.

  The mermaid was huge, covering the woman’s back from waist to shoulder. The design was stunning; blues and greens mingled with silvery scales, and bright red hair tumbled over the mermaid’s shoulders to fall just short of her voluptuous breasts. They looked so realistic Carmen almost thought she could reach out and pinch one of the nipples. Good God, what is it with you and breasts today?

  “It’s amazing.” Her voice came out as a weak croak. She cleared her throat. “Such fantastic colours.” Yes, focus on the colours.

  “Thanks. The client’s very happy, and that’s the main thing.” Ash motioned for Carmen to walk with her over to the desk.

  Sophie locked the door behind the departing client, then turned the sign to closed . “Finished!”

  Ash laughed. “Yep, all done.” She turned to Carmen. “We just need to clean up, and then if you don’t mind, we need to escort this one to the Tube so she can get home.”

  “I don’t mind at all.” Maybe having a teenaged chaperone will stop me from making a fool of myself. For a little while at least . “Can I do anything to help with the clean-up?”

  “Nah, we’ve got it covered. Haven’t we, monkey?”

  Sophie scowled at Ash. “Auntie Ash! Not in public.”

  Laughing, Ash walked off to the back of the shop.

  Carmen waited by the desk for the few minutes it took the pair of them to get the studio tidy and swept. Ash and Sophie each retrieved a bag from somewhere and met her at the front door.

  The walk to Tottenham Court Road station was fun. Sophie and Ash obviously had a wonderful rapport and connection. Carmen noticed that Ash treated Sophie like an adult, never talking to her in a condescending tone and happily covering serious subjects as well as frivolous.

  “So what do you do, Carmen?” Sophie asked as they waited at a crossing. “I mean, where do you work?”

  “I’m an agent. For actors and actresses, mostly for TV, but I have a few clients who are in films too.”

  “Cool!” Sophie’s eyes were wide. “Are they all, like, really famous?”

  Carmen chuckled. “Some of them, yes. Most of them you might recognise in the soaps or some of the crime dramas that are around.”

  “Who’s the most famous?” Sophie turned to walk backwards as they crossed, her attention totally focused on Carmen.

  Ash hovered protectively nearby, seemingly ready to grab her niece if she tripped.

  Sweet . They reached the far side and turned into a side street.

  As it was public knowledge who Carmen represented, she didn’t mind sharing the name, especially with Ash’s delightful niece. “My top client is Tamsyn Harris.”

  Ash and Sophie stopped walking in unison and stared at her.

  “T-Tamsyn Harris?” Ash’s eyes bulged.

  Carmen grinned. “Are you a fan?”

  Ash pulled at an imaginary too-tight collar and feigned fanning her face. “Just a bit.”

  “She’s amazing!” Sophie said in an awed whisper.

  “Oh, yeah.” Ash’s expression had turned dreamy.

  Ash’s niece dramatically rolled her eyes and tapped her aunt’s arm. “Stop drooling.”

  “Like you aren’t too.” Ash winked.

  Sophie gasped. Her gaze darted between Ash and Carmen.

  Ash reached out to her niece, her hand trembling. “Sophie. Shit, I’m sorry, I…”

  Sophie looked skyward, then shook her head. “It’s okay. It’s…” She huffed out a breath.

  Carmen wasn’t sure what was going on but knew it didn’t concern her. She took a step back.

  “No, it’s okay.” Sophie gently pulled her back in. “I don’t mind you k
nowing. Although Auntie Ash could have been a bit more subtle about it.”

  Ash looked mortified. “Sophie, really, I didn’t mean it to come out like that.” She rubbed at the back of her neck. “I’ve just got so used to being so open with you about it, I forgot where we were and who we were with. It won’t happen again, I promise.”

  Sophie slipped her arms around Ash’s waist and hugged her. “It’s all right.”

  Ash held her tight, her eyes closed.

  Carmen’s throat constricted. The love these two shared for each other was incredible to witness.

  Sophie let go of her aunt and looked sheepishly over at Carmen. “Sorry, too much drama. We can go now.”

  Carmen smiled. “You take your time. You’re obviously sharing something important, so…” She shrugged.

  “Yeah, I guess it is.” Sophie scuffed at the ground with her sneakers. She looked back up at Carmen. “I’m working through some stuff. About my sexuality.” Her face was bright pink, but she held her head up high. “And Auntie Ash is being a massive support.” She smiled. “Even if she does have a big mouth sometimes.”

  Oh, wow. Carmen’s heart lurched. How can a teenager seem so calm about this when I’m freaking out? “I’m sure she is,” Carmen managed to squeeze out. “She’s good at that.”

  Ash blushed.

  “And I’m in awe of you, Sophie, for being so confident. And about being okay to tell me. Thank you.”

  “No worries.” Sophie’s phone pinged, and she pulled it from her pocket. She groaned. “That’s Mum. Wants to know how long I’m going to be.” She looked over at Ash. “God knows what she’ll be like with me after all that stupid crap yesterday, but I guess I’d better get going.”

  Ash grimaced. “I know. You can message me anytime, yeah?”

  Sophie nodded.

  “All right, then let’s get you on that train.”

  They walked the remaining couple of minutes in an easy silence and said goodbye to Sophie in the large entranceway to the station. Thankfully it was after the worst of rush hour, so although busy, it wasn’t too crowded with people.

  To Carmen’s surprise, Sophie gave her a quick hug as well as Ash. “It was nice meeting you.”

  “The pleasure was all mine, Sophie. Have a safe trip home.”

  “I will. And yes,” Sophie said as Ash opened her mouth, “I’ll be careful, and I’ll message as soon as I’ve met Mum.”

  Ash grinned. Once Sophie was out of sight, she turned to Carmen. “Thank you so much. For all of that.”

  “Oh, no problem. She’s a wonderful young woman.”

  “She really is.” Ash bowed her head. “She’s going through some crap right now, and I feel awful for outing her like that.”

  “She forgave you. And you didn’t do it with any malice.”

  “I know. But still…” Ash exhaled. “Come on. Let’s go get that glass of wine, yes?”

  Carmen’s heart rate picked up. “Sure, I’d love to.”

  Chapter 19

  It took them only a few minutes to backtrack a little towards the studio and reach the wine bar about three streets away.

  Ash’s mind whirled the whole way. God, how could I have let slip what Sophie is going through? Jesus. It’s bad enough her mum’s making it difficult for her without me making it worse .

  She was grateful, however, that Sophie had remained relatively unruffled—and also that Carmen had made it all seem so everyday. Thank God she didn’t express anything but support for Sophie too . She couldn’t have imagined Carmen doing anything else, though. If there was one thing Carmen seemed okay with, it was everyone being who they were, with no judgement from her on whatever that was.

  “Will Sophie be okay? I mean, with me knowing about what she’s dealing with at the moment?”

  Ash smiled. “She will. I’m so proud of her for the way she’s handling the whole thing.”

  “She seems so level-headed.”

  “She is. It’s amazing. Her mum—my sister, Courtney—has her ups and downs, and she’s not taking it very well right now. But Sophie’s just standing up for herself at every turn. Don’t get me wrong; she’s had some moments with it, both in coming to terms with it herself and about what other people might think, especially at school.”

  For a moment, Carmen blanched, then composed her features. It was so quick, Ash almost missed it, but before she could question the reaction, Carmen asked, “And her mum’s struggling?”

  Ash’s chuckle lacked mirth. “Oh yeah.” She told Carmen about the disaster the day before.

  “Oh my God, how embarrassing! For everyone. What on earth was your sister thinking?” Carmen stopped walking. “Sorry, that was rather presumptuous of me. I don’t have any right to go around criticising your family or—”

  Ash laughed and shook her head. “Oh no, be my guest. I’m pretty sure you’d be a lot nicer about her than I’m feeling right now.”

  Carmen nodded. “Okay.”

  They continued walking.

  “It must be so hard for Sophie.”

  “God, thank you. That means a lot, that your first thought in all of this was for Sophie.”

  “Well, of course. I remember my brother coming out. I know my mother is much better about it now, but it was a pretty hard time for him to begin with.”

  Ash glowed with the warmth of Carmen’s words and, in fact, Carmen’s whole demeanour this evening. Apart from that one moment, she seemed self-assured, calm, and free of whatever had troubled her the previous week. Ash wouldn’t push, but if the conversation led to a point where she could ask, she’d do it. A friend would, right?

  They reached the bar a minute later.

  “Now, I only read about this place, and it sounded interesting. I don’t know anyone who’s been.” Ash held open the door for Carmen. “So if it’s awful, we don’t have to stay, okay?”

  Carmen smiled and walked past her.

  A hint of her perfume teased at Ash’s nostrils, and she admonished her libido when it perked up in response. Not thinking about her that way, remember? But that had been hard to fight ever since Carmen had appeared at the studio earlier, looking incredible in a burnt orange dress that highlighted every curve of her body. Inwardly, Ash groaned. Am I getting close to that point where I should be worried about how I feel?

  “It’ll be fine, don’t worry,” Carmen said over her shoulder as she stepped into the dim space.

  Easy for you to say. Oh, wait, she means the bar.

  The bar was old-fashioned, with dark wood walls and floor, and rickety tables dotted around the small space. However, the wine list was impressive, as were the prices, which were significantly less than Ash would ever have believed for a central London bar that sold wines from all around the world.

  “I love this place!” Carmen gazed around. “I feel like I’ve stepped back in time.”

  Ash smiled. “Yep. I was worried that was a bad thing, but actually, this is kind of cool.”

  They chose a glass of white each. Carmen opted for a full-bodied Chardonnay, which didn’t surprise Ash at all. Something told her Carmen would always order the boldest dish on any menu, wanting to challenge herself at every opportunity. Ash ordered a Pinot Blanc, something she’d had a couple of times in restaurants but rarely found on offer in bars.

  “So,” Ash said once they’d clinked glasses and taken their first sips, “how have you been?”

  Carmen’s free hand fluttered on the table. “Good. Very good.” Her voice sounded overly cheery.

  Ash tilted her head. “Really?”

  Carmen seemed to crumple before her. She slumped back in her chair and shook her head. “No, actually. But I hate that every time I see you, I’m complaining about my job. My work, which I created for myself! I don’t have any right to moan about it.”

  “Ah.” Ash smiled. “Okay, so now I know that work hasn’t been so great again, but we can leave it at that. Talk about something else.”

  “Yes, please!” Carmen drank from her wine a
gain. “Your trip! It’s only a couple of weeks away now, isn’t it?”

  “Eleven days. But who’s counting, right?” It was hard not to get excited. Kruger had been on her wish list for years. “Everything’s organised. Especially now I’ve had that jab. All I have to do is turn up.”

  “So what’s the plan? Wait.” Carmen’s face scrunched into a frown. “Is there a plan? Or are you one of those scary, fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants travellers?”

  Ash’s face warmed. “Um, yes, there’s a plan. If my friend Damian was here, he’d be laughing his head off right now. Wait, I’ll show you.” She pulled her laptop from her backpack and opened it. The spreadsheet was already open, of course, so she turned the screen to allow Carmen to see it.

  Carmen leaned in, bringing her head close to Ash’s. There was that tease of perfume again, and the warmth from Carmen’s bare arms crept across the space between them to drape itself over Ash’s skin. Goose bumps erupted on the back of her neck.

  “What am I looking at?” Carmen asked, but she wasn’t looking at the spreadsheet. Instead her brown eyes, a couple of shades lighter than Ash’s own, gazed at Ash. Carmen swept that gaze downward, raking over Ash’s face, stopping at her mouth before flicking back up again to meet Ash’s eyes. Carmen wet her lips.

  Ash’s goose bumps shot across her whole body. Jesus, when did it get so hot in here?

  Carmen sat back quickly and cleared her throat. “I mean, I can see that it has lots of information on it, but how does it work?” Her gaze now was anywhere but on Ash, her cheeks flushed.

  What the hell’s going on?

  “Ash?”

  Ash sat upright, pushing thoughts of how kissable Carmen’s lips had looked just now far, far from her mind. “Sorry, um… Yes, this is my famous travel spreadsheet.” Why was her voice so hoarse? She coughed and tried again. “Damian laughs at me, but it’s the only way I know how to plan these big trips.”

  “So how does it work?” Carmen, too, seemed to be having trouble talking in a clear voice.

  They simultaneously reached for their glasses and each took a gulp.

  “Well, it’s got all the info I need for each destination in one place.” Slowly, Ash took Carmen through her spreadsheet, thankful for the distraction it offered from whatever had happened a few moments ago. As she talked Carmen through all the sheets, she wondered just how nerdy she came across to her new friend.