Dare to Love

by A. L. Brooks

  They drank their coffees in silence, simply looking at each other. Carmen appeared to be deeply in thought, but at the same time, her gaze pulled Ash in. I’m scared of letting myself get drawn too close to her, and yet I can’t seem to stop myself from wanting her anyway.

  When the waiter brought the bill, they split it, then walked out of the brasserie onto the path that ran parallel to the canal.

  “Take a walk with me?” Ash gestured to the path. “Unless you have to be somewhere.”

  “I think a walk would be lovely.” Carmen surprised Ash by linking their arms.

  Their gazes locked, and the heat between them rose in an instant. There had been a hint of it as they drank their coffees. But this, now, moved them from a quiet sizzle up to a definite simmer, one touch or a look away from a full explosion. Ash could feel it in every nerve ending, every inch of skin. Her gaze dropped to Carmen’s mouth.

  Carmen licked her lips, the tip of her tongue sliding slowly between them, and a throbbing began between Ash’s thighs that nearly made her moan out loud. They might be considering whatever it was between them as only casual, but it was obvious it wouldn’t be lacking in power.

  The intensity of the situation was almost too much. Needing a moment to collect herself, Ash turned and gently tugged Carmen into a slow walking pace.

  They strolled on for a few minutes in silence. It was a beautiful afternoon, the sun hot but nicely dappled by the trees lining the canal. Many people, often in couples themselves, were enjoying the same walk. Wait, we’re not a couple. Not really. Are we? Ash’s confusion mounted. What are we doing? And why am I trying to pretend it’s not affecting me?

  Carmen’s arm, wrapped up in hers, was warm and soft. Their paces matched, and occasionally their thighs brushed, only adding to the tension in Ash’s body. Carmen’s perfume, floral but not in an overpowering way, came to Ash’s nose on the soft summer breeze and teased her. Carmen’s eyes, when they met hers, were a deeper colour, her pupils dilated, and of course there were her lips: soft, plump, and so kissable.

  They came upon a quieter stretch of path, where the trees hung low over the edge of the water, and Ash couldn’t stand it any longer. She tugged Carmen to a halt under the draping branches of a huge weeping willow that hid them from the rest of the world and stepped in close.

  Carmen gasped but didn’t resist when Ash pulled her into her embrace.

  God, it felt so good to hold her again. Every curve on Carmen’s body moulded itself to Ash’s more solid frame, and her softness set every inch of Ash’s skin on fire.

  Carmen wrapped her arms tightly around Ash’s back and lifted her chin, her gaze now so dark it took Ash’s breath away. Before Ash could say anything, check if Carmen was okay with whatever this was, Carmen pressed upwards and kissed her.

  It was better than she’d been remembering. So much better. There was more heat, more thrilling sensations coursing deep into her core. Carmen seemed to want to possess Ash, deepening the kiss with penetrating tongue strokes. She moved one hand from Ash’s back into her hair, stroking gently at the shaved area at the back of her neck.

  Goose bumps broke out all along Ash’s arms. She fought to take some control over the situation—for crying out loud, she was the one with all the experience—but somehow her body wouldn’t respond, needing instead just to be taken. Consumed. Carmen was running this show, there was no doubt about it, and it was all kinds of exciting to let her do so.

  When they broke for air some minutes later, they stood gazing into each other’s eyes, their chests heaving.

  “Is it me, or are we rather good at that?” Carmen asked quietly. “And I’m asking seriously. I obviously don’t have any experience of kissing a woman, and I just wondered.” She flushed sweetly, and Ash ran her thumb over one pink cheek.

  “No, trust me, you don’t need to worry. You, we, are very good at that.”

  Carmen smiled, and her eyes twinkled. “I’m glad to hear it.” She tugged Ash back in. “So let’s do a little more of it, hmm?”

  Chapter 31

  Wednesday was a chaotic day of meetings, phone calls, and emails, but Carmen didn’t mind—anything to make the day pass quickly and keep her occupied. Otherwise she would have spent hours gazing into space, thinking about Ash. She spent every moment when she wasn’t working thinking about Ash.

  Yes, but does she think about me? She seems pretty okay with us as we are. Casual.

  Her mood dimmed, and she stood up quickly, not wanting to follow that last train of thought to its conclusion. The ringing of her phone was a welcome distraction—until she saw the name on the caller display. Her heart skipped a beat.

  “Hi, Ash.”

  “Hey.” Ash’s melodious voice sent a delicious shiver down Carmen’s body. “Still at work?”

  “How did you know?”

  “Lucky guess.”

  Carmen smiled. “Are you in between clients?”

  “Well, not exactly. My last client just cancelled.”

  “Oh, that’s a shame.”

  “Actually, I’m pleased.” Ash paused. “It means I have the rest of the evening free. Don’t suppose you could get away and maybe meet for a drink?”

  There was something in her tone that Carmen couldn’t quite decipher, but whatever it was made her stomach perform a slow but not unpleasant roll.

  We saw each other last night, and now she wants to see me again .

  That didn’t sound that casual. And I don’t want it to be. She sat up straighter in her chair as the implications of that worked their way into her brain. She’d been trying to deny it, but there was no escaping it. No dressing it up as this laidback thing they both wanted. I don’t. I want more. But what if she doesn’t? “I think that sounds like a wonderful idea.”

  They quickly made a plan to meet at a bar roughly halfway between their workplaces and hung up.

  Carmen stared at her phone for a few minutes afterwards, her mind whirling. They’d said casual, but tonight would be the third time they’d seen each other in the last week. Was Ash trying to tell her she wanted something more? Or was it only Carmen who wanted to fall deeper into what they had together?

  They had one glass of wine each in the bar before the noise of a large party two tables over became too much.

  “I don’t have the patience for that anymore,” Carmen said as they left the bar. “Must be my age.”

  Ash laughed. “Well, I’m younger than you, and I hate it too, so…”

  Carmen smiled at her, then a small frown marred her forehead. “Ugh, I should probably get home. I have another busy day tomorrow. Walk me to the ring road again?”

  “I’d love to.”

  They fell into an easy pace alongside each other. When Carmen tentatively entwined her fingers with hers, Ash wasn’t remotely surprised—or displeased. She wondered, for the hundredth time since Sunday, how something that they’d said would be a little bit of fun already felt like so much more than that. Rather than think that through, she simply held Carmen’s hand a little more tightly, revelling in the touch.

  A minute or so later, they came across a small park area and, without a word being spoken between them, diverted into it. It wasn’t much more than a football-field-sized patch of grass edged with trees, but a few people were out enjoying it on this late summer evening.

  Carmen slowed their pace, and Ash had no issue with her wanting to extend their time together.

  “So, here’s a question I’ve been meaning to ask for a while.” Carmen met Ash’s gaze. “You don’t seem to have any tattoos yourself, yet you talked about how your father had many and you’d always wanted one.”

  “That’s because the tattoo I have isn’t visible.” Ash pointed at her back.

  “Oh! And what is it?”

  “It’s a phoenix. The same design as the logo for the studio.”

  “Why a phoenix?”

  Ash pondered, just for a moment, making up something trite, brushing it off. But she couldn’t do that, not to
Carmen. Somehow being honest with her was the only possible path. “It might sound a bit out there, but in that last year at the bank, I knew I was falling into a bad place, and even though it took me a while to pull myself back up, I knew deep down, long before that, that I needed to. I think, when I went looking for this tattoo, I was subconsciously telling myself I’d rise again. That I’d get that new life I didn’t know I was looking for.”

  The memories of that time were still painful for her, but she had no qualms about sharing a hint of it with Carmen. She’d had no problem sharing anything with her the past few days, and it worried her a little. Sharing had made her feel warm, comfortable, and a whole host of other things she shouldn’t be feeling with someone she wasn’t supposed to be getting serious about.

  “Hey,” Carmen whispered, and the next thing Ash knew, Carmen’s arms were around her, holding her gently yet firmly, her hands making soothing circles on her back. “It’s okay.”

  “Wh-what is?” God it felt so good to be held like this. Protected. Cared for.

  “Whatever it is that made you suddenly look so sad.” Carmen brought one hand up to Ash’s face and placed it on her cheek. “One day, if you want to, I would like to hear all about that time in your life. But only if you want to. I will understand if you want to forget it.”

  “I’d like you to know.” Ash’s voice croaked. “I…I know I could trust you with it. That you wouldn’t judge. But not now.”

  “No, not now.”

  “Thanks,” Ash said softly. “It’s been a long time since someone held me like this.”

  “Then I’m glad it’s me who is here doing this now.”

  Ash raised her head, and Carmen eased her hand away from her face so they could look at each other. They were only a couple of inches apart. And there it was again, that intensity. Only this time it wasn’t purely desire that weaved its way between them. There was something else here too. Something so palpable Carmen thought it might be possible to touch it in the air around them. Something that went far beyond physical attraction.

  Ash’s gaze locked on hers, and what Carmen saw there nearly had her gasping out loud. Does she even realise how she looks at me?

  Ash blinked and wet her lips. “Carmen, I…” She shuddered in Carmen’s arms. “I don’t know what’s happening.” She exhaled and looked skywards, the golden pink light of the setting sun illuminating her worried features. “That’s not true. I know, but I…I don’t know what to do with it.”

  “You’re scared.” Carmen kept her voice low, non-accusatory.

  “Yes.”

  “This is real for me.” Carmen reached up once more to cup Ash’s face. She ran her fingertips lightly over the smooth skin of her cheek before dragging her thumb over Ash’s full lips. “This isn’t a game. I’m not fooling around with you to satisfy some idle curiosity. I promise.”

  “So much of me wants to believe you.” Ash dropped her gaze and pursed her lips. “But there’s a part of me still so scared of what happened once before.”

  “I understand. Or at least I think I do. I’m a little scared myself. The last time I let myself feel this way about someone, he had to leave me.”

  Ash flinched at the male pronoun.

  “I have dated men, Ash. I’m not going to apologise for that.”

  “No!” Ash’s gaze was back on Carmen’s, her eyes wide. “You don’t have to.” She tensed in Carmen’s arms but didn’t pull away, much to Carmen’s relief. “This is my problem. My thing I have to get past. I’m sorry; I shouldn’t have reacted that way.”

  “It’s okay. From what little you’ve told me, it’s understandable. But I’m not her. Please remember that.” Carmen held Ash’s gaze, hoping by will alone she could convince Ash she could be trusted.

  “I will.” Ash blinked a couple of times, and her posture relaxed once more. “So, um, what now?”

  Carmen gave her a gentle smile. “You’re asking me? I’m the inexperienced one here.”

  Ash chuckled. “I don’t know about that. You seem to be handling things far better than I am.” She ran her fingertips along Carmen’s jawline. “Okay, here’s what I think. If we’re going to do this, as in, stop pretending this is just some fun, casual thing and recognise it might be more than that, then I, um, would like to do it properly.”

  “Properly?”

  “Exclusive. Monogamous. If there’s an us, I want a proper us.”

  “Oh God, absolutely.” Carmen’s entire body thrummed at the thought of being considered part of an us with this extraordinary woman. “I only want you. Just you.” Her voice was husky and low.

  Ash moaned, low and quiet, but it sounded like a rumble of thunder in Carmen’s ears.

  Carmen leaned up and did what she’d been wanting to do, deep down, ever since they said hello at the bar earlier.

  Soft. Dear God, so soft . Ash’s lips were like silk beneath hers. Everything inside Carmen seemed to take a seismic shift sideways as their lips pressed together. This kiss was different from all the others they’d shared. There was an emotional level to it, one Ash seemed to reciprocate in equal measure. Those emotions imbued the kiss with something that made Carmen’s heart lurch in excited anticipation of what they could become.

  She lost herself once more in the feel of Ash in her arms, Ash’s mouth moving gently against hers, Ash’s heat permeating every inch of her where their bodies joined.

  Carmen shifted closer. Her entire body tingled as their kiss deepened. Her mind emptied; she was nothing now but touch and emotion.

  Ash moved a hand into her hair, bringing her closer yet. Her tongue gently swiped across Carmen’s bottom lip, and, with a small groan born of hunger and an incredible need, Carmen parted her lips and let her in.

  When their tongues touched, every sensation increased tenfold. Her body was equal parts liquid heat and fierce shivers. Carmen sank into the kiss, tasting Ash, revelling in the velvet texture of her tongue, the incredible arousal her touch stirred.

  Finally, they came up for air. They held their foreheads together, their breathing heavy in the still air.

  “That just keeps getting better and better,” Carmen whispered.

  Ash merely nodded and dipped her head once more.

  Chapter 32

  Carmen’s heart leaped when she saw Ash waiting for her at Tottenham Court Road station on Sunday evening. She wore a short-sleeved, plain white shirt over tight-fitting black jeans with black boots. Her long fringe had been boosted with some kind of product and was a sexy, messy tumble swept to one side of her head.

  Good God . Carmen clutched for breath. She’s stunning. And she’s my date . Carmen stepped off the top of the escalator and walked over to meet her.

  Ash’s gaze raked down Carmen’s body and back up again, and the action sent a thrill coursing through her. The little black dress was one of her favourites, and she’d hoped Ash would appreciate it.

  “Jesus,” Ash said as Carmen reached her. “You look incredible.” She leaned forward and dropped a sweetly soft kiss on Carmen’s cheek.

  “Thank you.” Carmen couldn’t help it; she needed to touch. She ran her fingers lightly over Ash’s bare forearm. “So do you. Those jeans look like they were tailor-made for you.”

  Ash placed one hand on Carmen’s waist and tugged her a little closer. “That dress looks like it was painted on. It’s beyond sexy.”

  Carmen flushed, but not from embarrassment. She tilted her head, and their gazes locked. Every time they met, the heat level between them seemed to rise just a little more. It was intoxicating.

  “Later.” Ash lifted her other hand to tenderly stroke Carmen’s cheek.

  “Are you reading my mind now?”

  Ash nodded slowly and grinned. “Let’s just say your eyes are very expressive.”

  Chuckling ruefully, Carmen stepped back.

  “So where are you taking me?” Ash bounced on her toes. That and her excited grin made her seem about eight years old.

  Carmen laughed. �
�I told you, it’s a surprise. Are you always this impatient?”

  “Sometimes.” Ash waggled her eyebrows. “But it’s more like, once I know someone has a surprise for me, I have to know what it is. I drove my parents up the wall at Christmas when I was little.”

  “I can imagine.” Carmen slipped her arm through Ash’s. “Come on. I won’t keep you waiting any longer.”

  They headed out of the station, and Carmen led them through the streets into the heart of Bloomsbury. Soon they stood outside the entrance to a private art gallery.

  “Ta-da!” Carmen threw her arms open.

  Ash looked at the entrance, then her gaze travelled over the front window. Africa Inspirations was written in black and gold lettering across the expanse of glass, and Carmen saw the moment it clicked in Ash’s brain.

  “You’ve brought me to an exhibition of African art?”

  “I have. I assumed you’d like it.”

  “Oh, wow! This is awesome.” Ash kissed her cheek. “That’s… God, that’s so thoughtful. You’re amazing.”

  Carmen looked into Ash’s eyes, and her stomach flipped over several times. Ash’s expression was full of awe, but also warmth and appreciation and…tenderness.

  “You’re welcome.” She smiled and took a step back. “Come on. Let’s go in.”

  The exhibition was so good Ash knew she’d have to go round twice to make sure she’d appreciated it all. She still couldn’t believe Carmen had arranged to get them an invite to this exclusive premiere, but it was more than that—Carmen had taken Ash’s interests into account and designed an evening entirely for her enjoyment. It made Ash feel about ten feet tall.

  Carmen appeared at her side, carrying two fresh glasses of champagne. She handed one to Ash, and they tapped glasses before sipping. “They’re beautiful, aren’t they?” Carmen nodded in the general direction of the paintings.

  “They are. This is a wonderful exhibition.”

  Carmen opened her mouth to speak, but a new voice to Ash’s left cut her off.