Beautifully Broken Spirit

by Catherine Cowles

  I set down my mug and leaned against my desk. “We’re gonna have a busy day today. Dominguez, you and Hightower are on Creekside North campground, looking into kids partying up there. Figure out if it’s worth sending a couple officers out there late-night to try and catch them in the act.”

  I turned to Mackey, who was chasing her burrito with a swig of Coke. “Mackey, you, me, and Rhines are on a poaching case.”

  “Aw, man,” Dominguez whined. “Why you gotta do me like that, boss? Stick me with teenagers just looking to have a little fun while you guys are doing the cool stuff?”

  I chuckled. Unlike David, I fostered a casual relationship with those under me. They needed to know they could talk to me. They needed to blow off steam. In my mind, respect should be earned, not demanded. “Next interesting case is all yours.”

  Dominguez cheered slightly at that, and we shot the shit until the rest of the team arrived.

  My truck rocked to a stop outside the grassy pasture. Mackey and Rhines pulled in next to me. Rich Clintock was already waiting. I hopped down and crossed to the weathered man in his fifties. “Mr. Clintock.”

  He swiped off his cowboy hat and extended a hand. “You know you can call me Rich, son.”

  “Rich. These are Officers Mackey and Rhines.” I inclined my head in turn to each. Rich nodded at both. “Can you walk me through what happened?”

  Rich glowered at the pasture, and I caught sight of a younger man working to fix a fence. “At first, I thought it was those damn horses that tore down my fence and that a few of my sheep just got loose, but when I took a closer look, I saw that the wire’d been cut. We’re still counting, but so far, we’ve got four missing. Four that got snatched, I should say. Luckily, we’d already been planning to move them this week so I don’t have to worry about someone stealing more. But you gotta find this asshole.” His gaze flicked to Mackey. “Apologies, ma’am.”

  She waved a hand in front of her face. “I’ve heard worse.”

  I studied the field and noted its close proximity to the road. In all truth, there wasn’t a lot we could do. “You have anyone who’s been giving you trouble?”

  Rich ran a hand over his balding head. “Not off the top of my head. I’ve got a good relationship with the other ranchers who have livestock up this way. Like I said before, the most trouble we’ve had was with the horses.”

  I ignored the latter part of his statement. Ranchers and animal rights activists were at an impasse when it came to the wild horse population. Ranchers were frustrated that the mustangs often ate the grass they held grazing rights to and sometimes tore down their fences. In my mind, they were here before we were, and we should try to find a happy medium.

  I looked back to where Rich’s workman was repairing the fence. With only a handful of sheep missing, I had a feeling the perpetrator was someone local. There were several poorer communities scattered around Pine Meadow, and it was possible that someone had been driving by and the need to feed their family had outweighed their knowledge of right and wrong. I’d investigate, of course, but I wasn’t overly optimistic.

  I pulled a card out of my wallet and handed it to Rich. “I’m gonna have Mackey and Rhines drive around and talk to folks today to see if anyone’s seen or heard anything. But you let me know if you hear anything in the meantime.”

  Rich nodded, shoving the card into his pocket. “I appreciate you coming out.”

  “Anytime.” I turned to Mackey and Rhines. “I have something else to check out, but I want you to make the rounds and update me with any developments.”

  They nodded, and I took off towards my truck. Turning over the engine, I backed out and headed to where the campers had called in gunshots. I needed to put my mind at ease, and I needed to be able to tell Jensen that all was well if she heard about the complaints.

  It only took twenty minutes for me to reach the pull-off, and then another fifteen to hike up to the ridge that would give me the best vantage point. I took a deep breath as I reached the top, letting the cool air and the stillness of nature center me. I gazed down at the meadow below. The tension seeped from my shoulders as I took in the herd.

  After a few minutes of scanning and counting, I let out a long breath. Everything was fine. My phone buzzed in my pocket. It was only because I stood atop the ridge that the call had come through. Five minutes down the trail, and I would’ve had zero service.

  Walker flashed across the screen. I tapped accept. “Hey, man. What’s up?”

  “Hey. Where you at?”

  “I’m standing in one of my favorite places on Earth.”

  Walker chuckled. “You’re either up at Pine Meadow or at the saloon surrounded by women. But since it’s a workday, I’m guessing the former.”

  I sat down on a log, extending my legs. “You’d be right. We had some complaints about gunfire up here, so I was just checking it out.”

  Walker’s tone sobered. “Everything okay?”

  “All looks good. Don’t mention anything to J, I don’t want her to worry.”

  “I won’t. She’d be up there in a flash, and she’s already running herself ragged these days.”

  I made a sound of agreement in the back of my throat. “So, what’d you need?”

  “Well, I was hoping to tell you in person, but time’s gotten away from me.” He paused. “I’m gonna ask Taylor to marry me.”

  I stared out at the horizon, letting my gaze go unfocused. “That’s great, man. I’m happy for you.”

  “That’s it?”

  I let out a chuckle. “What were you expecting, exactly?”

  “I don’t know, some bitching and moaning about losing your wingman. Maybe something about how I’ll be missing out on all the other women out there.”

  A grin pulled at my mouth. “Walker, just because I don’t want to settle down doesn’t mean I think you shouldn’t. Taylor is a catch. How you conned her into falling head over heels with your ugly mug is beyond me. But if you let her get away, I’d be the first to tell you that you were a fucking idiot.”

  Walker cleared his throat. “Lucky to have you, man. You know you’re my brother in every way that matters.”

  I swallowed against the burn. “I know. And same goes.”

  “Will you be my best man?”

  I smiled against the wind. “She’s gotta say yes first.”

  Walker let out a laugh. “She will. I’m asking tomorrow night. I want all our friends and family there afterward.”

  “You just tell me where to be and when.”

  “I’ll text you the details when I have them all ironed out. Tuck?”

  I watched as the stallion heading the herd below tipped his head back in a long whinny. “Yeah?”

  “You’re gonna find this one day.”

  I forced a chuckle. “Gotta be looking to find it.” The horses below started to run, in formation but wild and free. Just as it should be.

  6

  Jensen

  “Arthur, you’re going to have to mellow out your game if you want to keep playing at the Kettle.” I ushered my favorite patron toward the front door of the shop. I was totally lying. I would never kick Arthur or the rest of his bridge cronies out, but as heated as their games sometimes got, I worried that one of them might have a heart attack one of these days.

  Arthur shuffled towards the door. “Clint cheats.”

  I bit my lip to keep from laughing. “Last week, he accused you of the same thing.”

  Arthur jutted out his chin. “He cheats, and he lies. Maybe you should kick him out.”

  I pulled open the front door. “You wouldn’t have any fun without your best competition.”

  He mumbled something under his breath that sounded something like, “I’d win a lot more money, though.”

  I leaned over and kissed Arthur’s papery cheek. “You be careful on your walk home. Will you text me when you get there?” Arthur only lived four blocks away, but I still worried. He didn’t get around quite as well as he used to.


  He scowled down at me. “I’m not senile, you know.”

  “I know.” I held up my hands in acquiescence. “I’m just a worrier. Humor me?”

  His scowl melted into a gentle smile. “You’re lucky you’re so pretty. You get away with damn near anything.”

  I gave him one more peck on the cheek. “Good to know.” I watched as he navigated the front walk and moved out to the street, not leaving my post until he disappeared from sight. I sighed as I flipped the sign on the door to Closed.

  I had the overwhelming desire to let my body sink to the floor so I could curl up and take a nap. “First, you need to clean. Then, you can try for a ten-minute power nap.” Maybe ten minutes would be short enough that no nightmares would be able to find me.

  I surveyed the space around me. Without a second pair of hands during the day, more dishes had piled up on tables and in the kitchen sink. I needed help, but the two people I’d interviewed this week would be more trouble than they were worth.

  Tessa had offered to come back until I could find someone to replace her, but she was leaving on tour with Liam in a few weeks anyway. I might as well get used to tackling the Kettle’s workload mostly alone. Plus, it had taken Tessa so long to finally go after her passion, I didn’t want to be the one that took her away from her art now.

  I headed for the kitchen and grabbed the busboy bin. Methodically, I made my way around the café. The tub got heavier and heavier with each table I cleared. When I finished about half of them, I lost my grip on the teacup I’d grasped and it went careening to the floor, smashing into bits. “Fuckity, fuck, flipping fudge sticks.”

  My cursing always straddled the line between things that would come out of a sailor’s mouth and the made-up curse words I tried to use in front of my son. Today, my brain was apparently short-circuiting and combining all of the above. I bent down, setting the container on the floor and trying to pick up as many of the shards as I could before I got the broom.

  The bell over the door jangled. I shot up at the sound, not realizing I hadn’t locked the door.

  “Hey, Little J.”

  My entire world seemed to tunnel as my vision went black, and my knees buckled.

  “Shit!” Strong hands caught me before I could hit the floor. I blinked rapidly as Tuck’s face came into focus. His expression was full of worry. “Are you okay?” He settled me into one of the café chairs.

  My stomach pitched. “I’m fine. Just got up too fast. You startled me.”

  Tuck’s brow furrowed. “The door was unlocked.”

  “Well, I thought I’d locked it.”

  Tuck let out a sound that was a cross between a sigh and a growl of frustration. “You need to be more careful. Anyone could’ve come in here, and you wouldn’t have even known. Just because we live in a small town doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take precautions.”

  I pinned him with a stare that should’ve had him taking a step back. “I know that. Believe me, I of all people fucking know that.”

  Tuck winced. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

  I waved him off. “I know.” I pushed up to stand, but the world turned wobbly again, and Tuck pressed me back into the chair.

  “Oh, no, you don’t. When’s the last time you had something to eat?”

  I tried to think back. I guess I had missed lunch. “A granola bar in the car on the way to drop Noah off at school?”

  This time Tuck did growl. “You need to take better care of yourself.”

  My skin prickled. “I take fine care of myself, you big behemoth.”

  “I’m not seeing a whole lot of evidence of that lately. You take care of everyone but yourself.” I opened my mouth to argue, but he kept right on going. “You stay right here while I go fix you a snack.” Tuck pinned me with a hard gaze. “You move a muscle, and I will paddle your ass.”

  My jaw came unhinged, but simmering heat pooled low in my belly. My hands fisted. What the hell? Before I could regain any semblance of the ability to speak, Tuck had turned on his heel and strode towards the kitchen. Had I actually hit my head? Was I now in some sort of coma-induced alternate universe where Tuck threatened to spank me? And why the hell did some part of me like the idea?

  I was clearly in some sort of hunger-induced brain misfire. That was the only reasonable explanation. I did all kinds of crazy stuff when I went too long without sustenance. Yes, those crazy things were generally something like eating an entire pan of brownies in one sitting. They weren’t typically the burning desire to climb one of my best friends since birth like a tree. But hunger could make you do lots of insane things.

  Tuck emerged from the kitchen juggling a plate with the largest sandwich I’d ever seen and a tall glass of what looked like apple juice. He came towards me with what I could only describe as a swagger. Had his hips always moved like that when he walked?

  Don’t get me wrong, I knew Tuck was attractive. Hot even. I’d had the requisite crush on him throughout my middle school years and even into high school. But he had always treated me like a little sister. Someone he liked hanging with. But never once had he given me even a single hint that he was interested in more than friendship. And I’d grown up. I’d put him firmly in the big-brother category. So, why, all of a sudden, was my body reacting to him?

  It had to be my dry spell. Could it even be called that if it was as dry and vast as the Sahara? I needed to get laid and stat. Because the last thing I needed was to fall for a guy who was a walking one-night stand.

  Tuck set the plate and juice down in front of me. “Eat.”

  “Apple juice?” My voice squeaked on the second word.

  Tuck studied me carefully. “You need sugar.”

  I took a small sip. “I really just keep this in the fridge for Noah.”

  Tuck shrugged. “If I have to come here and feed you an afterschool snack every day to make sure you’re eating enough, I will.”

  And there went the flicker of lust. I narrowed my eyes at him. “The day got away from me, that’s all. I’m sure even the all mighty Tucker Harris has forgotten to eat once in a while.”

  He shot me that infamous grin. “I am pretty mighty.” He winked. He freaking winked at me. Then his expression sobered. “But I’ve never forgotten to eat for so long that I almost passed out.” He paused. “I’m worried about you, J.”

  There was something in his tone that made my eyes burn. It was so damn earnest. I swallowed against the emotion clogging my throat. “I’ll make sure I remember to eat.”

  Tuck pushed the plate closer towards me. “Thank you.”

  I picked up the sandwich. “What are you doing here, anyway?”

  “Did you forget what tonight was?”

  I searched through the filing system in my jumbled brain and then promptly dropped my sandwich. “Shit. Walker’s proposing. How could I forget that? I’m a really crappy sister.”

  “You are not.” Tuck’s words had a bit of a bite to them. “You’ve had a lot going on lately. That’s why I dropped by. To make sure you remembered.”

  “Thank you.” I glanced around the halfway tidied room. “I have to finish cleaning up and then pick up Noah at karate and—”

  Tuck reached across the table to grab my hand. He tapped the back of it, bringing my attention to him. “I’ll clean up. You eat. And you’re not driving anywhere. I’ll take your SUV, and we can get Noah together.”

  “I’m fine, Tuck.” I made an exaggerated show of biting into my sandwich.

  “You just almost passed out. You are not getting behind the wheel of a car. I’ll drive you and then get someone to bring me back to get my truck after.”

  “Fine.” I stuck out my tongue at him. “You can be my chauffeur. I’ll sit in the back with Noah, and we’ll call you Jeeves. And you’ll be required to speak to us only in a British accent.”

  He shook his head. “Lord save me from smart-assed women.”

  I had to fight the burn of tears as I crested the rise. Walker had proposed to Taylor under
a tree on top of a hill at the edge of our ranch. It was a place we’d come to as a family to watch sunsets and have picnics, and now Taylor would be part of that family.

  Noah barreled ahead, launching himself at Taylor and Walker. He was absolutely ecstatic to be gaining an aunt. When Tuck and I told him what would be happening tonight on the drive over, I’d thought he was going to bounce out of his booster seat and right out of the SUV.

  Tears filled my eyes as I watched Walker and Taylor laugh with my son. I was thrilled for them. I couldn’t think of anyone who deserved happiness more. But I also couldn’t help the trickle of longing that danced down my spine, settling somewhere deep in my gut.

  I shoved it down. Locked it away somewhere no one would find it—not even me. Because if I didn’t reach for more, it couldn’t break me. I’d opened my heart to someone twice. And both times, I’d had my heart destroyed. I wasn’t sure I’d survive a third time.

  And I had more important commitments. My first responsibility was to Noah. I had to build a safe and secure life for him. That meant not risking letting someone into our lives who had the potential to hurt us both. I looked around me at all the faces. I had plenty of love in my life. I could be good with just this. It was more than most had.

  An arm wrapped around me, pulling me into a solid body. “You okay?”

  I tilted up my face to meet Tuck’s Arctic blue gaze. “Yeah. Just some happy tears.” I wiped under my eyes. He didn’t look like he believed me, but he said nothing as we watched the couple greet everyone around them. Yes, this could be more than enough.

  7

  Tuck

  I couldn’t get it out of my head. That look of soul-deep pain in Jensen’s eyes after the proposal. As though she were giving up. That and her almost passing out on me at the Kettle had been playing on a near constant loop in my head for the past week.