Hidden

by Ancelli

  “Do you see what she did to me?” His mother laughingly pointed at her updo hairstyle and flamboyant makeup. Her smile exposed her deep right dimple. “I wanted to be present for your birthday, Ethan, but God had other plans. Don’t cry another tear for me. I’m finally resting in his arms. By now you know about my beautiful grandson.” She threw her hands in the air, doing a shimmy dance. “Alex looks so much like me,” she said proudly. “Son, my heart is so full right now. I can’t stop smiling. He spent the entire day with your dad and me. We talked about everything under the sun. I know I should’ve told you the moment she walked in, or at least the same day I found out, but I was being selfish. I wanted him all to myself even if it was only for a few hours. You’ll have him for a lifetime. We spent the entire day building on his memories with abuelita. Memories to last forever. Alex made it in time” She wiped at tears that began to fall. “I get to tell you tomorrow.”

  He swallowed. That tomorrow never came.

  “I can’t wait to see the look on your face. Don’t worry about your new role: you got this. No one is really ever ready for such a big transition, but you had a great role model in your dad. I’ll be watching down on you, continuing to be proud of the man you’ve become. Ethan, you have made all my dreams come true.” She cleared her throat, and his father gave her a cup of water. She took a sip and continued. “First, I had you after years of trying. You were our little miracle, it was entertaining raising such a smart and energetic little boy, and time flew so fast. Then you graduated high school and college with honors—” She covered her mouth as she coughed. “You purchased our dream house.” She touched her chest with her hand. “That was one of the happiest days of our lives.” Magda smiled, gazing over at his father. “I thought Maverick and Elena were the ones that got me the pony.” She coughed again. “Come to find out Rayn was the one to complete my childhood wishes. My spotted pony from the anonymous person was her and so was the biggest gift of all, your son. If I die today, I’ll die a happy woman. You were right. Rayn is a lovely woman, who made a few huge mistakes. One, breaking your heart, and the other, keeping your son away from you. She had her reasons, and I will never agree with them, but one thing is for sure, she loves you. I was wrong. Maybe you should revisit that chapter in your life named Rayn Taylor. I asked her straight up if she still loved you and her answer was…” She paused and smirked. “You need to ask her yourself. Hijo mijo, I should’ve convinced you to fight for her years ago, but seeing you hurt clouded my judgment. I know you never stopped loving her, but my dear, it’s your life. My desire for you is to do what makes you happy, not others. Wishing you love and happiness on your birthday, and always. Be happy, Ethan. I will always love you until we meet again. Happy Birthday!” She chuckled. “My sweet boy.”

  He cleared his throat. It was amazing to see his mother so happy; it made his soul rejoice knowing she’d been so at peace just before she passed. Ethan stood and walked to his bedroom. Alex was asleep, spread out in middle of his bed. He gazed at this little boy who’d brought joy into his dim life. He placed his mother’s cell phone in his top drawer.

  I hear you, Mom…they make me want more out of life.

  Chapter Fifteen

  “Daddy.”

  Ethan stared at his boy through the small screen on his cell phone. His heart swelled whenever Alex called him Daddy. “How was your flight?”

  Alex and Mrs. Rhonda took a monthly trip to San Diego to visit Rayn’s dad for a week. Ethan didn’t object when Rayn asked how he felt about that. The man had provided, and kept his son safe when Ethan couldn’t. He’d dropped them off at the airport earlier that morning.

  “Bumpy.” Alex scratched his nose. “Daddy, can you check on Mommy? She wasn’t feeling good when Nana called her. Mommy didn’t smile. She always smiles with me.”

  Ethan powered off his computer. “I bet your mom is fine.” Last time he spoke to Rayn had been yesterday and she seemed to be okay, a little overwhelmed with the new job, maybe, but that was to be expected, working in the medical field.

  “No, she’s not!”

  “Don’t raise your voice at your father,” his grandmother scolded him. “Give me.” She took the tablet. “He’s worried about his mom.”

  “Are you?” Ethan couldn’t believe how his relationship with Mrs. Rhonda had blossomed in just a couple of months. He’d misjudged her, just like she had him.

  “Yes,” she whispered, “something doesn’t seem right.”

  “Maybe she misses you guys.”

  “No, she yearns for the week we take off.” Her lips curled up into a smile. “This is Rayn’s time to relax without having to worry about Alex and my nagging. Do you know how many moms wish they can have a timeout from their children? I wish my mother would have given me breaks. All joking aside, maybe something happened at work. I know she’ll be okay. She’s a strong cookie.” She handed the phone back to Alex.

  “Daddy, please,” he begged.

  “Okay.” Ethan turned off the lights in his office as he headed out. “I’ll call your mom and make sure she’s all right.”

  “Thank you, Daddy. I love you.”

  “I love you too…” Ethan’s heart skipped a beat upon hearing those three words. Never in his wildest dreams did he think he would enjoy being a father; the love for his son had come out of nowhere. Now, he couldn’t see his life without Alex in it.

  As soon as he hung up with Alex, he called Rayn, but she didn’t answer. He ambled out of the building and called again. It went straight to voicemail. He walked over to his truck, pressed the fob, and opened the door. Ethan was getting worried, too. As he got into his truck and pressed the ignition button to bring his Jeep to life, a stray thought struck him. She’s probably having some adult fun. He didn’t like that thought, the notion of someone else touching, loving Rayn.

  “I promised him,” Ethan said out loud. He couldn’t shake the feeling of jealousy creeping up as he thought of his ex with someone else. Somehow, he’d gotten used to the idea that Rayn was holding out for him.

  His cell phone rang and, keeping his eyes on the road, he tapped the screen on his dashboard. “Why didn’t you answer your phone?”

  “When did you call me?” Jenny’s voice resonated through his truck.

  “I thought you were someone else.” He pressed his lips together. Damnit.

  “Her?”

  Ethan didn’t answer.

  “You owe me a real explanation.”

  Confusion wound its way through his head. Ethan thought he’d been clear on his intention of taking a break, away from Jenny. “An explanation?”

  “About us?”

  “There’s nothing to talk about.” He wasn’t in the mood to repeat himself. Work had been exhausting and now he had to go check on his ex.

  “You haven’t reached out since I saw you on your birthday. I thought you wanted to be friends with benefits.”

  “Why do you keep saying that? I just want us to be friends.” Ethan drove toward Rayn’s home. “I care about you and don’t want to string you along.”

  “Friends with benefits is better than nothing.” She sighed.

  Why would Jenny ignore what he’d just said? He didn’t want a friends-with-benefits situation.

  “I love you, Ethan, and I don’t want to give up on what we’ve started. I know we can be great together. Please don’t let this woman from your past cloud your judgment. So what if you share a child? That doesn’t mean you have to share your life with her.”

  Ethan hadn’t known her feelings for him ran so deep. The idea she would mention love—

  “Can we meet tonight?” She sounded desperate.

  That was odd. Jenny was normally in control.

  “I’m tired and just got off work. I’m not in a mood for company.” He pulled into Rayn’s neighborhood. “Can we talk about this later?”

  “Fine.”

  He pressed on the dashboard, hanging up. Ethan brushed his hair with his fingers as he entered Rayn’s drive
way. He parked behind her truck, turned off the Jeep, and strode over to the door to give an impatient knock.

  Ethan waited a few minutes, and nothing. He turned the gold knob and to his surprise it turned easily to open the door. He stepped in the foyer and called out “Rayn” several times with no answer. Moving slowly through the house, he checked the living, dining, and family rooms. Rayn wasn’t around. He walked to the back of the house, where he assumed her bedroom was. Damn, the house was huge. He opened each door and then closed it once he saw she wasn’t in there. He knocked on the last door, assuming it was the master bedroom, and placed his ear against the wooden barrier. Ethan heard water running in the background. “Rayn?” He slowly pushed the door open.

  As soon as he stepped in, Rayn strolled out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around her body and a silk wrap around her head. Water still glistened on her brown skin. A visceral scream escaped Rayn when she looked up and saw him at her door. She held on to the towel. “Don’t ever do that!” she yelled.

  “I’m sorry!” Ethan backed out of the bedroom. “I’ll wait outside.” He didn’t miss how she began to shake.

  “Please…” she whispered, closing the door in his face.

  He understood that he’d scared her, but something was definitely wrong. Even after she’d realized it was him, she couldn’t shake off her nervousness. He paced the living room. The after-effects of Colton’s actions were evident. Rayn walked out wearing an oversized robe.

  “I apologize for invading your privacy. Alex was worried about you and I promised to check in on you. I called you many times, and your front door was unlocked. What’s going on?”

  “I’m fine.” She walked toward the kitchen.

  “Rayn.” He didn’t move. “You’re talking to me. I know when something isn’t right.”

  “Do you?” Rayn stopped in her tracks and turned to face him.

  “Yes.” He watched her closely. “Five years won’t change how well I know you.”

  “Everybody changes. Isn’t that what you said?”

  “Stop using my words to avoid telling me what’s wrong.”

  “Everything is wrong.” Rayn leaned against the doorframe. “My life.” She shook her head. “Don’t worry about me. I’m just having one of those days.”

  “Your life?” He drew his eyebrows together at the thought of her hurting herself. “What do you mean?”

  “Nothing.” Rayn stared at him. “It’s been a very long day, week, at work.”

  “Your reaction earlier…” Ethan watched her closely.

  “It was nothing.” She looked away. “You scared me, and you already know I’m a scaredy-cat.”

  “Is that all it was?”

  “Yes. Colton doesn’t affect my life anymore.” Rayn entered the kitchen and he followed suit. “I’m in control of my life. He’s the past. Honestly, you just startled me, that’s all.” She didn’t sound convincing as she grabbed a goblet out the cabinet. “I’m ready to relax and enjoy my weekend.”

  “Will you last another day?” Ethan smirked. Rayn was a strong woman, a woman he was having a hard time getting out his system. “Get dressed.”

  She poured herself some wine. “For?”

  “We never actually had a first date.” He invaded her personal space and grabbed the bottle of wine from her hand. “I want to take you out, show you a little of the nightlife here.”

  A smile appeared on her luscious lips. “Are you being serious?”

  “Yes.” he laughed. “This date would be a checkmark on my bucket list. First real date with Rayn.” He motioned a checkmark in the air with his fingers. “Get dressed.” He touched the sleeve of her robe. “Our first real date.”

  ***

  “Tell me about yourself.” Ethan leaned in to hear her over the clamor of the other customers. “Clue me in on the Rayn I don’t know.”

  “You know everything there is to know about me.” Rayn looked around the establishment. Colorful paintings hung on the walls throughout the lounge. Each table was illuminated by several scented tea candles, giving out an intimate atmosphere. Ethan’s appearance had changed just a little from college. He’d gained some weight, but it was in all the right ways. She’d felt his lean muscles when he held her from time to time. He looked delicious in his work attire. He’d rolled up his white long-sleeved shirt, exposing his bulging biceps, and the black slacks were hugging all of the right places as he sat. Rayn couldn’t help it. Her eyes went south for a few seconds to glance down at his crotch, and she remembered every inch of his body and the moments he used to bring her to ecstasy, used to make her body sing. She squeezed her thighs together, trying to stop the tingling sensation she was feeling as memories resurfaced.

  “What have you been up to the last five years, besides raising our son?” Ethan sipped on his drink.

  Rayn stared at his lips. Ethan was a great kisser. He used to love it when she nibbled on his bottom lip. He stared at her, waiting for an answer.

  “Studying, most of the time.” She took a bite of her cheeseburger. “I got accepted into a physician assistant program and after I finished, I worked at a hospital near home and then about a year ago I became a traveling PA. The money was great. I didn’t have to depend on my parents and I got to travel.” And escape from Colton, Rayn thought to herself. “Thank God my dad let my mom roll with me and Alex.” She smiled, covering her mouth as she chewed. “He had one condition, that she came home at least once a month.”

  “He’s okay with your mom being gone?”

  Her father had surprised her when he’d given them his blessing. He said he’d gladly do whatever made her mother happy. She’d dedicated her life to him and their daughters, so now, if she wanted to travel, then so be it. But then again, her mom became his spy, making sure there were no more threats. It had worked well for all of them: Rayn was grateful for her mom’s sacrifice.

  “He knows Alex makes her happy.” She continued eating. “I didn’t ask her to tag along. Mrs. Rhonda invited herself.”

  “Making sure you and Alex were okay?” He played with his fingers. “Where have you been?” Ethan picked up his drink.

  “New Orleans, Kentucky, New Jersey…” Rayn spoke about the facilities she worked at and the places she’d visited.

  He took a gulp of his whiskey, watching her over the rim as she spoke excitedly about what she did. Rayn loved the field she was in; she wasn’t exactly a doctor but helping the less fortunate and forgotten had become her mission.

  Rayn picked up her glass. “What about you?” She took a sip of her fruity cocktail, and took her opportunity to look at him over the rim.

  “Let’s see.” He tapped the table with his fingers. “After I came home from college, things didn’t go my way, so I joined the Air Force.”

  She grabbed a napkin off the table and covered her mouth to keep from spitting out her drink. Choosing the military was unexpected. The Ethan she’d known had issues with authority. Magda hadn’t mentioned that fun fact about Ethan. “You’re in the Air Force?”

  “For four years.” He cocked an eyebrow and placed the glass on the table. “The best decision I could’ve made. The military helped me get my shit together.” Ethan grabbed one of her French fries. “You were right.”

  “About?” If memory served, she was right about a lot of stuff.

  “I didn’t have anything to offer you back then.” he chewed. “I might not have anything to offer you now. I could be broke, for all you know.”

  “I wouldn’t care.” She stared at him, a little hurt. “I was immature, thinking about the wrong things back then, and I let other actions derail our future. I see so many things clearer now. I want what we used to have.”

  Ethan looked away, and then leaned away from her in his chair.

  Rayn watched how he closed up, his hesitation so apparent whenever their past was mentioned. She reverted back to the prior conversation. “What happened with the Air Force?”

  “I’m no longer active duty as
of last year, but I’m still in the reserves. One weekend a month, I get to tell airmen what to do.”

  “Why didn’t you stay active?”

  “Mom’s cancer returned.” Ethan cleared his throat. “She needed me.”

  Rayn touched his knuckles. “It’s okay. You can be yourself with me.” She caressed his skin. “No more hiding who we are and what we feel.” She was trying her best not to touch him, trying to give him his space, but in this moment, she couldn’t stop herself. Rayn had been yearning for his touch from the second he’d stopped touching her five years before.

  Ethan turned away. It still hurt to talk about his mother in the past tense.

  “Are you ready to tell me what’s wrong?” Ethan tried changing the conversation. He didn’t want to dim their night. He was actually enjoying himself, for once. This was what he’d wanted to do with Rayn when they were in college, go out and have fun without a fucking care in the world.

  “I lost my first patient today and I couldn’t put on a poker face.” Her smile vanished. “It affected me harder than I thought it would.”

  “Your first in two years.”

  Ethan couldn’t stop staring. Rayn was the same girl he’d fallen in love with. She’d gained some weight since college, but it fit her well. Her natural hair was much longer, up in twists secured by a yellow silk band, matching her tank top. The jeans she wore showed off her Coke-bottle shape. His fingers practically yearned to pleasure her. His dick jerked every time she wrapped her luscious lips around the straw. His heart was pumping double-time.

  “On my watch.” Rayn cleared her throat. “I wasn’t there when your mom passed away.” She took a long sip of her drink and placed the glass down before continuing. “Your dad was still by her bedside when I arrived for my shift. Alexandre was talking to her like she was alive and then I realized her machines were off. The staff said he wouldn’t allow them to take her body. I understood. Magda was the love of his life and he wasn’t ready to let her go. He needed time. I made sure he got it. I made a call to the last person I ever thought I would, my dad. He and your dad shared one thing in common: they each spent three decades loving their woman. In that moment, their skin color didn’t matter to my dad. My father spoke to your dad for over an hour, and then Alexandre was finally ready to let her earthly body go.”